I do not own Gundam wing, Quatre Trowa, the Sandrock, Japan Etc. This is just a fic and one that probably doesn't make much sense. Aww but what in life does. This fic is Yaoi, so if you don't like that then shoo. As always Comments and Criticisms are welcome
His Eyes
He's my angel. I think I knew that from the moment he stepped out of his Gundam, smiling gently though he had just killed countless people. I think I would be lost without him and that thought frightens me.
When I am with him the air is sweeter, the grass is greener, the sky is bluer. Blue like his incredible eyes. Those eyes, the incredible shade of aqua, a blue I never thought existed until I met him. The things I find when I allow myself to look into them frighten me.
I could lose myself in the warmth of his eyes. I could lose myself in their love and forgiveness. I could lose myself in such a way that I may never get back to the person I was before. Maybe the warmth I see in Quatres eyes could some how melt the chill that is Trowa Barton.
It is a nice sentiment and I have never been one for sentiments. I am a killer. Quatre kills. There is a difference and it's not so subtle as people would have you believe. I am a nameless destroyer. I have no value and no worth. Quatre truly is Quatre-Sama. Loved by all, including now me.
I don't have to worry about him not returning my feelings. He has made it clear to anyone who has been paying attention that he feels for me. I do worry about hurting him. Things end. All things. Including relationships, including love. And when those end they are painful. And I would never cause Quatre pain. The thought of those eyes clouding over with hurt, losing their innocent shine is just too much for me to bear.
His eyes. Of all the things I love about Quatre I love his eyes the most. Aside from their lovely shade, there is something I see there, something that draws me in. It's the innocence, his innocence and love. It's so intense it's frightening. If I truly wanted to I could look into his eyes for hours on end. I want to get lost, to swim the blue sea of Quatre's eyes until I drown and am reborn a different kinder person.
He could help me. Is that why I run? Because I know, I knew from the moment I saw him that this was the person that could make me happy. I fear happiness because it is foreign, and I fear happiness because it ends.
I am so lost in myself that I fail to notice the smaller body that sits down hesitantly next to me. Quatre.
"Hello Trowa," he says happily.
"Hello," I say quietly. He smiles somewhat uneasily. "Did you come to see me for something." He shuts his eyes and it almost looks as if he is attempting to gather his courage. His question surprises me.
"Trowa do you believe in fate," he asks. Knowing not to expect a reply he plows on. "That everything we do is planned? Do you think that no matter what we do, no matter how far we run, no matter how excellently we hide ourselves, that some things, some people are inescapable? That you are meant to be with them."
"Quatre what are you trying to say," I ask, fearful of this conversation.
"Do you have any idea how I feel about you?" Quatre asked suddenly. "I think you are one of those things that are inescapable. You and I, I mean." He ducks his head and flushes a deep scarlet. "Trowa I think I love you." The words come out in a rush, and his flush deepens. "I'm sorry," he whispers sounding truly contrite.
I wish I could explain to him how I feel right now. That I feel the same things he is feeling. That I want to love him and only him. But that I am to scared.
"Trowa," he whispers miserably tears forming in his eyes. "Say something."
I've hurt him. Gently I reach down and brush away the still forming tears. "Don't cry," I whisper soothingly. "I never want to make you cry." I run a hand through his hair a thing I always dreamed of doing. It is soft and satiny, as I knew it would be. He relaxes into my embrace, and cold fear pits in my stomach. "I'll only hurt you. Everything ends, it's just the way the worlds works."
"You're scared," Quatre translated "You shouldn't be scared of love Trowa, it's not a bad thing." He smiles up at me, and I wonder how I can refuse this angel. "Please Trowa let me in."
"I just want to get lost in your eyes," I confess
Quatre smiles up at me the way I knew he would and opens his eyes wide. Looking into them I see not the pain of the past but the beauty of a future. Of the possibility's. Of life and love not death and loss. And sitting there with Quatre, my Quatre, in my arms I am for the first time finally happy.
~end