The great fairy of Termina floated over his vast domain, his eyes scanning every inch of the seacoast that only served to magnify his envious appearance. The green hat and tight green outfit that might have looked ridiculous on others suited him perfectly, but sometimes it was tough being blessed with such handsome and perfect features. His many admirers were too reverent to approach the pedestal they placed him on, so he was not disappointed that no one watched him soar through the sky as Termina's protector.

Tingle floated above Great Bay, thinking manly thoughts and doing manly things. Suspended by the red balloon attached to his backpack, he looked down at his domain and flexed in the sky where people would flock to see him. It was okay with him that nobody was there at the present moment; even celebrities needed time to themselves. In his skintight green suit, his muscles and fat bulged in beautiful harmony. His overweight frame sagged in fatigue, but he did not stop, for flexing in an all-green outfit while hanging from a red balloon was the only way he knew how to attract fairies. It was only a matter of time before his immaculate voice and appearance attracted one as he had always dreamed.

Soon, the manliest of men spotted two admirers heading his way. One was a strangely dressed man with a silver stick, and the other was a young child. Instinctively, he flexed for them as well. As expected, they stopped and gazed at his extraordinary physique. They began to talk amongst themselves, no doubt commenting to one another of his stylish clothing and irresistible good looks. He flexed all the harder, his belly stretching his suit to the limits.

Suddenly, there was an explosion of air above him, and he fell back to the land of lesser beings. After a flawless improvised landing, he looked his two admirers in the face. They were far dirtier than he, covered in beach sand and seaweed. And their sense of style was atrocious, especially the young man. He did not even wear the green that was so in season, and his red pair of underwear was nowhere to be found. The girl seemed a little better, herself dressed in green but with no matching pair of red undergarments.

"Umm…" the young man, Kari, said quickly, as if he did not know any other words. It was then that Tingle quickly realized these two merely wished for the pleasure of conversation with him. He quickly set to put his guests at ease with his dashing grin. Tingle was tempted for a moment to let them gaze longer at his gorgeous figure, but decided he did not want to frighten them away by appearing unsociable. No. He would talk to them and show them that he was willing to associate with all people.

"Hello! I am Tingle, the very reincarnation of a fairy. What can I do for you on this most glorious of days?"

Tingle was not surprised that neither admirer had much to say at first. They were clearly too overwhelmed by his suave manner of speech and good lucks.

At last, the small child, Tifa, spoke. "You're silly. Fairies don't dress like that."

Tingle's mouth curled into a sympathetic grin. What did this child know? "Of course they do. That is why a fairy will come to me any day now."

"Does everyone in Termina dress like you?" the young man asked. This question was almost too good to be true. Now, Tingle could show him the error of his ways.

"Of course!" he replied immediately. "Tingle is on the very cusp of stylish innovation." He was not discouraged that others had not yet adopted his choices for clothing. He knew they admired him from a distance and did not feel worthy of copying him.

Clearly, Tingle's presence was overwhelming the young man. "I see. And I thought Link dressed weird. I'm not sure if I want to stay here in Termina much longer."

"He's kind of funny," Tifa giggled. "But why does he wear his underwear on the outside?"

Tingle was more than happy to provide a thoroughly-explained and easy-to-understand answer, but he was quickly cut off by Kari. "Why are you floating out here anyways?"

The underwear-clad man was happy to respond. "I am awaiting my fairy, of course. But while I wait, I sell maps to help out my father. Would you like to buy one?" He paused. "Or better yet. How would you like to be my pupil? With enough training, you will be a sexy fairy magnet just like me."

The Sheikah gagged. Perhaps he had eaten something bad for lunch. It was no matter. None could refuse Tingle's irresistible allure.

"Just give us a map," Kari responded. "How much will it cost?"

Tingle reached into his pack and pulled out a map of Great Bay. "Well, since you are not wearing red underwear, you don't qualify for my 50% discount. So that brings the total cost to a still affordable 50 rupees. And if you buy now, I'll even decipher any old charts you might have for an extra 398 rupees. That's a great deal, isn't it?"

Kari reached into his pocket but came up empty-handed. He wrinkled his nose. "Link has all our money, doesn't he?"

Tifa nodded. "Yup."

Tingle quickly rolled the map back up. It saddened him that they did not have the money. He did not enjoy depriving people of his skillfully crafted maps. The money was for his father, not him. But he was always willing to make a deal. "How about you help me fairy hunt? I will teach you everything I know, and then you can help me hunt fairies."

"ENOUGH!" Tatl screamed, darting from her hiding space in Tifa's clothing and flying right in Tingle's face. "Why are we wasting time on this moron?"

Tingle thought he had been having a good day, talking to his two admirers. But his happiness jumped on a balloon and shot skyward. At long last, after so much waiting and flexing, a fairy had finally come for him. It was a good thing he was in such great shape and had such stylish clothing, or else it might not have overcome its shyness to come out and greet him.

"A fairy! At last! Tingle has a fairy of his own!"

"You couldn't pay me enough to be your fairy," Tatl said.

The fairy turned to Tingle's admirers, but why? Tingle did not understand. They did not have the outrageous good looks or sense of fashion that he had been blessed with.

"Don't bother buying this idiot's maps. He'll charge you an arm and a leg for a kid's drawing. Let's get out of here. I already feel his stupidity rubbing off on me," Tatl said.

Idiot had to be a term of endearment. Tingle was sure of it. What fairy in their right mind could resist him otherwise?

But then a thought struck him. The fairy now rested on the young girl's shoulder. Could the fairy belong to her? He had to find out.

"Green clothes…white fairy. Could you, by chance, be a forest fairy?"

Tifa nodded and laughed. "Of course, silly. I told you fairies don't dress like you do."

"Lucky! Lucky! You're so lucky to have a fairy!" He began to dance around, a maneuver designed specifically to appeal to the fairy. He could sense her salivating over him already. "I know! I know! We should be friends! Yes! Yes! As a sign of my friendship, I will give you a map in exchange for your fairy."

Tatl recoiled in disgust. "I would love to," the fairy said, tugging on Tifa's sleeve. "But I'm allergic to red underwear. I guess it wouldn't work out. Come on, let's get out of here."

"But what about the map?" Kari asked.

"We don't need it," Tatl responded. "I used to live here. I'll get us to where we need to go."

"That man was funny," Tifa giggled, her voice getting softer as she got further away. "He'd never get a fairy the way he was acting though."

They began to walk away while Tingle stood there speechless, his heart broken and his worldview shattered. Their voices faded in the distance but their impact resounded in Tingle's mind like a large bell. Had his red underwear truly repelled this fairy? Had the entire foundation for his life been proven false? What was his purpose if he could not go on, drawing maps and flexing in the hopes that one day a fairy would be his?

It was impossible for a fairy to resist his stunning good looks and irresistible charm.

That thought anchored him like a ship at port. That fairy had to have been manipulated. It was the only logical conclusion. Such cruel people: posing as adoring fans, even offering to buy a map, only so they could mock poor Tingle by showing him a fairy he couldn't have. If they hadn't been there, that fairy would have been his for sure. Someone would pay for this somehow.

From now on, every map would cost triple the amount.