RATED T for Violence
DISCLAIMER: I do not own General Hospital, but if I did Johnny and Lulu would be together in a heartbeat and Jason and Sam would be reunited. Oh and Jerry would have more scenes.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: This is my first General Hospital fanfiction. I hope you enjoy it. I wrote it because Johnny and Lulu needed some love. Thanks for giving it a shot.
SUMMARY: It's the final showdown between Johnny and Anthony. Johnny and Lulu at the end.
He stood there with his gun trained on his father's chest. He had waited so long to be able to be free of his father's delusions. He had wanted to do this for so long. Then why was his hand shaking? Why was it so hard to force himself to pull the trigger? "Why did you make me have to do this?" He demanded in a voice that was a little louder than a whisper. If there had been even a single conversation going on in the room he was sure his father would have missed it. Alas they were alone, in the silence and the darkness.
"I could ask you the same." Anthony started. "All I wanted was for you to say with me, by my side. You're all I have left of her."
Johnny shook his head. "That lines an old one Dad. If you really wanted me to stay you wouldn't have made me your prisoner." Johnny gulped. His heart was beating so fast he could hear it in his ears. It wasn't as if he'd never killed someone before. It's just that person had never been his family. More importantly it'd never been his father. "The worst part is it's not like you love me or even at some point loved me. It's always been about her. Even worse it isn't like she left you, or she cheated on you, shit you shot her or rather tried to shoot me and hit her instead."
"Stop it Johnny. Don't say things like that." Anthony warned.
"What the truth?" Johnny demanded. "I'm tired of concealing the truth. I'm tired of all of this. I just want to be free of this, of your crime, of your watchful eye, of the handlers, and most importantly of the guilt I should have done this a long time ago." Johnny willed his shaky hands to go still.
"I'm sorry Johnny. I loved you too much."
Johnny stared at his father who for so long had been so strong, but now looked feeble. If he hadn't known what his father was capable of he would never have believed he had caused so much damage. His father was a monster. His father had made him into the irrational man he was. His father had threatened the life of the first girl he had ever felt he could trust enough to open up to. His father had alienated him from the outside world. But at the same time his father was his father. And in that moment he knew he wasn't going to be able to pull the trigger. He lowered his gun. "Why did you do this to me? Can't you see how crazy I am? I just I hate that I love you, because I know that I shouldn't."
"I've always wanted you to be happy Johnny. I've always wanted you to be happy." Anthony replied soothingly as he removed his son's gun from his hands. He backed away from Johnny. "I'll do anything to prove that to you." Anthony lifted the gun to his head. Peace washed over him. It was the first time in decades that his thoughts weren't clouded.
Johnny looked up and saw what his father was doing. "Dad, don't do this. We'll figure something out. Just put the gun down." Johnny pleaded.
"I'm sorry that I let you down Johnny. I'm sorry that I treated you like a possession instead of my child. I wasn't always like this. When you were born you were so small and precious and I loved you so much. I promised myself I was going to be a better father than my old man was. I was going to teach you to play catch, and help you learn to appreciate the little things. It didn't work out that way. I just…one morning I woke up and I realized that everything felt like it was crashing down around me. I was too embarrassed to tell anyone." Anthony paused to let what his words sink. He wanted his son to know the truth. He wanted Johnny to know who he was before he left him. "It only got worse. Then my sense of despair became paranoia. I became jealous of you. Of the way your mother paid so much attention to you. I was paranoid that you were going to take her away from me." Anthony's voice cracked. All of these years he'd kept it all inside bottled up. He'd let it consume him. "I tried to kill you Johnny. I tried to kill my little boy. And she protected you. Your mother, she loved you so much John, she always used to call you bambino, do you remember that?" He smiled sadly at the memory. "After your mother died I was so scared and I hated myself. I wake up every night in a cold sweat. I just…I didn't want you to leave me, but now I realize I was pushing you away." Anthony's voice trembled. "Lulu, how do you feel about Lulu? Do you love her?"
"I hardly know her, but I know she makes me happy." Johnny thought that if he could keep his father talking maybe they'd both be able to walk out of here alive.
Anthony nodded sagely. "Well go to her. Go find her Johnny."
"I'm not leaving you."
"This is the only way things can end. I've lost the game Johnny. I'm at peace. I'm ready to go."
Johnny felt tears welling up in his troubled eyes. He knew his father was right. He had to die. Still he'd finally understood his father. He'd finally uncovered the man his mother had loved. He stood up and made his way across the room to where his father was standing. He hugged his father for the first time in as many years as he could remember. "I love you Dad."
Anthony lightly kissed his son on the cheek and motioned for him to go. "Learn from my mistakes."
Johnny nodded and left the dark study. He wasn't even halfway down the hall when he heard the gunshot. He closed his eyes. He had never imagined it would hurt this bad to lose someone. He slid down onto the ground in the hallway and allowed himself to cry.
She heard him before she saw him. He sounded so helpless. She finally understood how hard it must have been for him. She had struggled to deal with the fact that her father had raped her mother, but what he had been dealing with was so much more painful. His father had killed his mother because of him and then in turn killed his Aunt, Uncle, and cousins. "Johnny…" She whispered so as not to startle him.
"My father's dead." He choked out. He felt so foolish for being so emotional. He should have been elated. He'd always wanted to be free. He'd always wanted to be his own person, to have his own identity. He once again reminded himself that his father had been a monster in every sense of the word. But it didn't make it hurt any worse. "I loved him Lulu. He was a horrible person but I loved him."
Lulu slowly sat down beside him and pulled him close. "Shhh…I know you did. And he did too." She reassured him as she traced small circles on his back. By his reaction she could tell that he had not been able to pull the trigger himself. She guessed that made the situation even harder for him.
"He apologized for everything. He was a sick man. He needed help and nobody ever gave it to him." Johnny explained. He wanted her to understand that while his father was not an innocent man that he was not the person most people thought him to be. "This is all Trevor Lansing's fault and I want him to pay for it, one way or another." He was surprised when he saw her nod at that final statement.
"And he will. I'll help you make sure of that." Lulu told him gravely.
"I'm not going to involve you in this Lulu. My plans aren't the kind you approve of." There was no way he was going to let her risk her life.
Lulu smiled despite the situation. "Haven't you realized that fighting with me is pointless? I do what I want even if everyone tells me not to. If I was a good listener I would have stayed away from you a long time ago."
Johnny didn't really know what love felt like. He'd never really gotten a chance to experience it. Sure he had loved his family, but he was certain that the love he felt for them was different than the love you felt for the person you wanted to spend the rest of your life with. He stared at her for a moment trying to read her. He wanted to know what she was thinking. He reached up and gently pushed a stray piece of hair behind her ear. "You drive me insane."
"I've been known to do that." And then she leaned in and softly kissed him on the lips. Something told her that she needed to do it. She couldn't wait any longer. What if something happened to either one of them? If there was one thing she was going to take away from tonight it was to not put off until tomorrow what could be done today.
I'm not sure if this is going to be a one shot or a multi-chapter deal. I decided to write it because I couldn't find a single Johnny and Lulu fanfic and that bothered me. Thank you for reading. I realize that I portrayed Anthony differently than most people probably would or will, but I felt like it was the right way to handle things because I remember Sonny's breakdown and how crazy he became. Review and let me know what you think I should do. – KRiSTiNEDAHLiNG