A/N: I had to get it down, okay? These ideas have been bugging me for months and my sister refuses to have anything to do with them. Sue me. :P

Enjoy!

She had been ecstatic when he'd arrived.

Not because she's all sentimental and sappy like Katara (babbling out "I missed you" all day long and hugging people all the time has never been her thing), and not because she hasn't seen him in a while either (well, okay, that's part of it. But not much). Just because it got her away from all the fluff and fuss.

"—Heart Amongst the Elements is a literary classic which I'm sure you'll quite enjoy, Lady Toph—"

Blah, blah, blah, stuff about hearts, blah, blah, blah. Dying of boredom here. Hn, there's a random group of people at the gates carrying something big. Meh, probably some huge crate or something filled with fine china for Mom.

Hold up, something's off here. Is...someone getting out of the box?

"—a young warrior's fierce determination to—"

"SPARKY!"

...

"Oomf! Whoa!"

He'd come to discuss Earth Kingdom trade and alliances with her dad.

She supposed it was only natural, as Fire Lord Hothead, he had to do all that boring, political mumbo-jumbo that her parents were always talking about her learning. Personally though, Toph couldn't give two beetle worms about why he was there; as long as there was someone to keep her company and sane, away from all the prissy fru-fru nonsense that seemed intent on driving her crazy, she didn't care if he'd come to juggle moon peaches.

But, it did make things a little more difficult.

"Grah! Not now, Toph! I've got to—ugh!—talk about copper imports and tariffs with your father!"

"Aw, come on! If you go there'll be no one here to keep the nanny from getting Sugar-Queen-Syndrome!"

"Sugar-Queen-Syndrome?!"

"Just stay!"

"Fine! Now—hey!—get off of me!"

He had to listen to boring rants too.

It was a little weird since it was well within his rights for him to go into "I-don't-like-that! Off-with-your-head!" mode now, but Toph supposed it was just some weird Fire Nation tradition for Fire Lords to be educated while they were on the throne. Or at least, Fire Lords who'd been in exile for three years. Whatever the case, everyday from two to six, he had to sit at a desk, take notes on how to make high-up noble families happy and whatnot, and be slowly killed by the sheer uselessness of it and the tutors he'd brought with him. Just like her.

Toph also supposed that it could've been self-righteousness that made him insist on being treated just like any other student. Either that, or he'd gotten used to torturing himself by then.

"Fire Lord, are you listening?"

Unintelligible muttering.

SMACK!

"Wha—oh! What was the question?"

"Let us begin again, Lord Zuko."

"...right..."

"A Fire Lord does not use such common slurs!"

"Oh! Um...sorry? Oh, wait...no, that's wrong...uhhh..."

She shrugged, His funeral.

Her parents? Even worse.

She understood that they were freaked out, she understood that this meant everything to them, and she understood that it was not a good idea to get in her mother's way while she was in one of her moods. What she didn't understand was why they were making such a big deal out of it. That, and why they had to drag her into it, too. It was just Sparky! If it was up to her, he would've just had a cot, some food, some water, and a couple of fancy clothes tossed at him and be done with it.

But, as usual, nothing was up to her.

"Mom, I keep telling you, it doesn't matter! Just like it hasn't mattered for the past three days!"

"Oh, Toph, sweetheart it didn't matter; it didn't matter because before, he was only the exiled, defected prince. But, he's the Fire Lord now, and now it does matter! Now, should it be the quail or the roast duck with crab puffs? ...oh dear, what if he doesn't like the setting? It should all be in fine bone china. Yes, yes, a much better choice."

"It's Hot Feet Mom, he'll be happy with some sizzle-crisps."

"Toph! We can't give him sizzle-crisps! It's—it's—it's completely undignified!"

"Fine, fine! I'm just gonna go talk to him, then."

...

"...darling, wait."

"What?"

"...what—what are sizzle-crisps...exactly?"

"Wooow."

He hated stiff-nosed formal junk as much as she did.

She had to feel bad for him, she could just brush off whoever tried to talk to her with a grunt and a chunk of dirt. She didn't care what it did to her reputation, she'd always hated these big fancy-shmancy parties anyway. But since he was Fire Lord Princess Sparkles The Reformer, he couldn't afford that. No matter how many stuck-up daughters of Lord Whosamawhatsits batted their eyes at him and giggled behind girly fans like wimps.

Some examples of their stupidity (courtesy of Toph Beifong):

"Ah, well, I've always had a certain preference towards exotic things, would you care to join me, Fire Lord?"

"No, thank you."

-.-.-

"I do love your ensemble tonight Lord Zuko, was it personally tailored for you? This fabric is so luxurious, could I please look at it a bit closer?"

"N- no! Thank you."

-.-.-

"Oh, dear me, Fire Lord, that scar! How in Spirits' name did you get it? How I love courageous men...could I please—"

"DON'T TOUCH IT!"

Toph snickered, Fire Lord Zuko had not changed.

Reviews are always appreciated! Especially ones with constructive criticism.