Disclaimer:I do not own ANY of the characters...Only Luna And Lauren are mine cause in real life they are my 2 other personalities!
Itachi:Why am i the son of them in this story!
Me:*Smirks while turning into dark self*
Itachi:*Gulps*T_T
Me:Luna
Luna:Yes?
Me:Would you do the honors
Luna:OF COURSE Trick Pony Fan 91.0
Luna:Trick Pony Fan 91.0 does NOT OWN ANY CHARACTERS FROM THE ANIME/MANGA OF NARUTO!
~Lauren's(Comatosint) Family~
Husband-Orochimaru
Daughters-Lunara,Sarah ann(Deceased)
Sons-Itachi Lion'd
Orochimaru stared at the picture of Him, His Ex-Wife, and their 3 daughters. They were married for 23 years.
He looked at a picture of his 3rd and final daughter her name was Lunara Eclipse whom was 5 weeks old.
~~~Earth~~~
*YES LADIES AND GENTLEMEN THE CHAMPION LAUREN LEANN WALKER HAS RETURNED!*, Said the Announcer.
"Come on Starry Lightning", Said Lauren.
~~~~~Later~~~~~
*KNOCK KNOCK!*
"Coming!",Said Lauren.
"Orochimaru!Your Your Your Back!",She Exclaimed.
"Yep and i want you to...marry me?",He said.
"Yes yes yes!",She exclaimed.
"Mom!",Screamed Leann Walker the 2nd.
"Yes?",Asked Lauren.
"Where's dad!",She yelled.
"He's Still comatosint...",She said.
"Oh!",She said.
*Knock Knock*
"Lion`d don't you even try to trick me!",She yelled.
"Trick you with what mom",Asked Lion`d Walker.
"P.S Babe i am not my son!",Yelled Orochimaru.
"Oh Orochimaru your your home",She said as he pulled her into a passionate kiss.
"Orochimaru!",Screamed Tsunade Senji.
"Tsunade!",Said Orochimaru.
~~~~~~~~~3 Months 4 Days Later~~~~~~~~~
'I can't believe he left me for that no good man stealing woman!'
*KNOCK KNOCK*
"Coming!",She scream.
"I-I-Itachi!",She squeaked.
"thats my name don't wear it out mom!",He said as he hugged his mom.
"Itachi i have missed you where have you been!",She asked.
"Around This Great Nation. haven't been home in 3 years!",He said.
*KNOCK KNOCK*
"Coming!",She said.
"Hey Lauren!",Said Orochimaru.
'How Dare he come around here.'
"Lauren",Said Orochimaru.
*SLAM!*
"OOOO YOUCH!",Said Itachi.
"Poor mom she must be hurting!",Screamed Luna.
"She's Hurting?",said Orochimaru.
~~Later in Konoha~~
"Daddy!",Said a little Sakura.
'Hmm So he had kids with her'
"Lauren what a surprise!'',said Tsunade.
"Yes what a surprise indeed!",She said.
'She needs help'
*KNOCK KNOCK*
"NCIS open up now!",Screamed Dinozzo.
"They Followed you!",Screamed Tsunade.
*SLAM*KABOOM!*
"Dang looks like Ziva is not needed.",Said McGee.
~~~~~~Later~~~~~~~
"Well Orochimaru.",Said Cordell Walker.
"Well What?'',Said Orochimaru.
"You Under Arrest.",He Said finally.
"WooHoo!",Screamed everyone else except Sakura,Tsunade,Minato.
~~~~~~Later~~~~~~
"Lauren Please Forgive Me!",Begged Orochimaru.
"No!",Said Lauren.
"Please.",He Begged.
~~~~~~~~~~~~3 Months 7 Days later~~~~~~~~~
"He was on his way home from candletop
Been two weeks gone and he thought he'd stop
At webs and have him a drink for he went home to her
Andy wo-lo said hello
He said hi what's a doing
Wo said sit down I got some bad news that's gonna hurt
Said Im your best friend and you know that's right
But your young bride aint home tonight
Since you been gone she's been seeing that amos boy seth
He got mad and he saw red
Andy said boy don't you lose your head
Cause to tell you the truth Ive been with her myself
Chorus:
That's the night the lights went out in Georgia
That's the night that they hung an innocent man
Don't trust your soul to no back woods southern lawyer
Cause the judge in the towns got bloodstains on his hand
Andy got scared and left the bar
Walking on home cause he didn't live far you see
Andy didn't have many friends and he just lost him one
Brother thought his wife mustve left town
So he went home and finally found the only thing
Daddy had left him and that was a gun
He went off to andys house
Slipping through the back woods quiet as a mouse
Came upon some tracks too small for andy to make
He looked through the screen at the back porch door
He saw andy lying on the floor
In a puddle of blood and he started to shake
The Georgia patrol was making their rounds
So he fired a shot just to flag em down
And a big bellied sheriff grabbed his gun and said
Whyd you do it?
The judge said guilty in a make believe trial
Slapped the sherrif on the back with a smile and said
Suppers waiting at home and I got to get to it
Chorus
They hung my brother before I could say
The tracks he saw while on his way
To andys house and back that night were mine
And his cheatin wife had never left town
And that's one body that'll NEVER be found
You see little sister don't miss when she aims her gun"
*The Crowd Went Wild!*-
"Thank you!",Screamed Lauren.
~~~~~~~3 days later~~~~~~~
*Radio Turns On*
"He said he would loove me
He said he never wanted me after that incident back in '03
now he's with that blonde tramp so now he keeps calling and calling me.
Chorus:
Fire and Earth i sent him to Satin himself.
So n-o-o-o-ow he's going to die for his sin.
He is an ice cold bastard who needs to drop dead."
*YES THAT WAS LAUREN LEANN WALKER AND "ICE COLD"*
~~~~~~~3 Months Later~~~~~~~
"I don't Care!",Yelled Lauren.
"You Should!",Yelled Orochimaru.
That conversation went on for 3 hours.
~~~~~~~~~~~~5 Months Later~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*Radio Turns On*
"Ice and Fire Hell and Heaven he's going down no matter wh-a-a-a-a-a-a-at.
Chorus:
Li-i-i-i-ife is something you shouldn't worry over now babe so ju-ust shut up!"
*YES THAT WAS LAUREN LEANN WALKER AND ICE AND FIRE*
~~~~~LATER~~~~~
*Walker Family Ranch*
"And then This guy comes up and says 'Hey cutie want to go out?' and i said 'No way your like 50 and i am like 20'.",Said Lauren.
"Well Sweetheart you always know how to catch a boys eye and then kick him,'',Said her Dad.
"She Gets It from You Cordell",Said C.D.
"I know C.D I know.",He said.
*KNOCK KNOCK*
"Who is it?",Screamed Alex KayHill.
"Sakura and Naruto!",Said Sakura.
"COME IN!",Said Lauren.
"Hey Lauren,Walker,Alex,C.D.,Itachi,Lunara.",Said Naruto.
"Hey Naruto,Sakura!",Said Orochimaru.
"D-DAD!",Screamed Sakura.
~~~~~~~5 Weeks 7 days later~~~~
"Lauren i i i loove you!",Said Orochimaru.
"So Will you Marry Me?",He Asked.
"y-y-y-y-y-yes Orochi!",She said.
~~~~~~7 Days Later~~~~~~
"I now Pronounce you Husband and Wife!You May Kiss The Bride!",Said the Preacher.
~~~~~~~Reception~~~~~~
" The day's finally here,
There's flowers everywhere.
The guests are waitin' with sweet anticipation.
As I look down the aisle,
The preacher stops an' smiles.
Church bells are ringin' an' the organ is playin'.
I'm so overcome that I could cry.
I'm so happy I'm not the bride.
She's such a pretty thing,
She don't know anythin':
Ain't gonna tell her that she's outta her mind.
The preacher asks the question:
No, I got no objection.
I do, I do; I want him out of my life.
Throw the rice an' let those white doves fly:
Oh, happy day: I'm not the bride.
Eat some more cake,
Throw the bouquet,
Pass the champagne, it's time to celebrate.
I'm gonna dance this night away,
Whoa, whoa, yeah.
The groom is gettin' loud,
His new wife starts to shout.
Oh, this is perfect, it can only get better.
They're fightin' in the car, off to a real good start.
His momma's cryin'. Aren't they lovely together?
They're drivin' away, we're wavin' goodbye.
Close call, relax, Amen, Hallelujah,
By the grace of God go I: I'm not the bride.
Well, I'm not the bride.
I'm free, I'm free, I'm free.
I'm not the bride.
Thank God!
Goodbye now.
Good luck girl.
You're gonna need it.
Ha, ha, ha.
Ta-Ta."
*clapping*
"Thank You!",Said The band "Trick Pony".
"Well Thank you Trick Pony!",Said Lauren and Orochimaru.
~~~8 Days Later~~
*8:15 A.M*
"Lauren Wake up.",Said Orochimaru trying to wake up his sleeping wife's Figure.
"15 more minutes Orochi please!",Said Lauren trying so hard not to activate Phoenix.
"Nope sorry sweetheart.",He said waking her and the Phoenix up.
~~~~~~DownStairs~~~~
"Morning Orochimaru,Lauren.",Said Jimmy.
"Morning Jimmy.",Said Lauren.
*Walker Comes up to his daughter*
"Why does Orochimaru have a burn mark on his face?",He asked.
"Oh He Woke Phoenix Up and she was pissed off so she burned him.",She said.
"Ah",He said walking away.
~~~~~Later at The Texas Rangers Station~~~~~
"OK OK.",said Jimmy.
*Flash Back*
"Orochimaru is going where!",Screamed Lauren.
"New York City.",Said an about to be hurting Jimmy.
*Slam*
"Told you Jimmy not to smart off to her.",Said a Hysterical Walker.
"Yeah Yeah A little Help?",He Said.
*End Flash Back*
*Orochimaru Walks In*
*Slam*
"OOOO YOUCH!",Said C.D.
"That Will Teach ya to go somewhere with out me knowing!",Said a Very Mad Lauren.
~~~~~~6 Weeks Later~~~~~
(Ok So this is where NCIS Comes in)
*NCIS*
"Well Come on Zi-va.",Said a saracastic Tony Dinozzo.
"Shut up Dinozzo!",Said Gibbs.
(AN:SO you just got to read what was going on while Lauren is still absent at NCIS)
~~~~~~~~~C.D.'s Bar And Grill~~~~
"So now come on baby don't you kn-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-ow why i chose you as mine
Chorus:
Life and death darlin' don't forget to come home.
no don't forget tonight I'll find a way to bring you home to me."
"Good job Sweetheart!'',Said Walker.
"Yeah Nice Job Babe.",Said Orochimaru.
"Lauren baby sweetheart!",Said Lauren's Manager Jake Lieanse.
"Jake"
~~~~~7 Weeks Later~~~~~
*5:15 A.M*
"Lauren Don't Leave Please!",Begged Orochimaru.
"Why not you don't care you'll just go back to Tsunade like always!",Said Lauren.
"Lauren it was on accident!",He Said.
"Orochimaru I won't Go on tour!",She finally said agreeing with her Reasonable husband as she kissed him.
~~~~~~Later That Day~~~~
*Laurens Phone Call To Her Manager*
'Sorry Jake I can't Orochimaru and I and the kids are going back to Otogakure'
'Ok Ok Good Luck With your marriage'
'thanks bye-bye'
*Lauren Hangs up*
~~~5 Weeks Later In Otogakure~~~
"Hello m'lady.",Said A Maid who was helping Lauren and Orochimaru and the kids unpack.
"Hello Cynthia!'',Said Lunara.
"How Does She know me?",Asked Cynthia.
"You Work For Mommy At NCIS!",Said the 3 year old.
'Jeeze'
'you think!'
'Oh No not you!'
'Yep i'm Back!'
'Y are you back Phoenix?'
'Because You mother sent me back here'
'what does she want in return?'
~~~~Later That Night Akatsuki Base~~~~
"Pein She Will Come Home.",Said Konan As She Hugged her VERY Depressed Husband.
"NO!She WON'T!",He Exclaimed.
*Knock Knock*
"Enter.",Said Pein.
"Hey Dad!",Said Lauren as she went to hug her father.
"L-L-Lauren!Your Back!",Exclaimed Pein as he embraced his daughter.
"Ummm...What about us?",Asked Itachi interupting what his father was bound to say.
"As i was TRYING TO SAY!",Said Orochimaru Glaring at his eldest son.
"heh heh Sorry!",He said.
"Anyway!",said Pein.
"What is it dad?",Asked Lauren.
'I know what it is!'Taunted Phoenix.
'eh shut up!'
~~~3 Weeks Later Otogakure~~~
*10:00 A.M*
"Lord Orochimaru,Kimimaro Has Returned.",Said Kabuto.
"Lord Orochimaru.",Said Kimimaro.
"DADDY!",Yelled Luna at the top of her lungs.
"1 SECOND LUNA!",HE Yelled as an answer.
"NO MOMMY NEEDS YOU",She Screamed.
~~~4 days later(After their newborn baby boy was born)~~~
*Lauren's Phone Conversation with Konan And Pein About their new born grand son*
'He Is So Adorable!',Screamed her mother on the other end.
'KONAN I HAVE A HEADACHE I DO NOT NEED A MIGRANE!',Said Pein In the background.
'I will let you go now so you can sleep',Said her mom as she hung up.
~~~Later Otokage Tower Of Otogakure~~~
*Knock Knock*
"Enter",Came a Upset Voice From the Office.
"Orochi,Whats Wrong?'',Asked Lauren Holding Their Son Jake.
"N-n-n-n-n-nothing Lauren i am just a little upset...",He Said.
"Orochi have Kabuto Finish up the Paper-Work.",She Said As Jake Reached For his Father.
Orochimaru Picked up his son.
"Daddy?",Asked Luna as she came into the office.
"Yes Luna?'',He asked.
"Do you love Jake More then me?'',She asked.
"What Are you talking about?",Asked Orochimaru concerned as well lets just say a squirrel with the iq number of -2.
"And No I do not love Jake More than You Luna.",He Said Hugging his daughter.
~Later~
"He Is So-o-o Cute Orochi.",Said Lauren as she kissed her son's head.
"No More Kids Lauren.",Said Orochimaru.
"Aww You no fun...",Said Lauren.
"I am too Fun.",He Said.
"BaBaBa.",cooed Jake.
"Awwww.",Said Orochimaru.
~~~~Mean While~~~
(AN:So Basically This Is Orochimaru's Daughter(Lauren)'s Idea Of what life would be like if it was her that her father had married and Not Her This part is set in my other Enjoy.P. Other part is while Lauren is in a Coma)
"Orochimaru Don't worry Lauren is strong she will pull through.",Said Tsunade to her Scared Husband/
"N-N-N-No She won't!",He managed to say while he was crying.
~~~3 Weeks Later~~~
"M-M-M-Mom?Dad?Anyone?",Called out Lauren.
"NONE CAN HEAR YOU!",Yelled a voice.
"Who's There?",Asked Lauren.
"I AM PHOENIX AND YOU ARE MY CONTAINER!",SAID PHOENIX.
~~~Later(After Lauren Wakes up)~~~
"Mom?Dad?Itachi?Anyone Here?",Lauren said.
"Your Family Left...Should i call them back?",Asked a Nurse.
"Yes Please.",She Answered.
" Awake!",Said Itachi.
"Hey Babe.",She Said.
"MOMMY!",Screamed the twins.
"Brianna,Ashley!",Said Lauren.