A/N: Hey, guys! It's been a while, hasn't it? Well, I'm back with a one-shot. It's pretty short, but hopefully entertaining enough. Okay, so I was inspired to write this after just recently reading one of Zach Braff's blog entries. I forget what he said word-for-word, but if it wasn't this exactly, it was something extremely similar: "Is it embarrassing that I like bopping my head to Avril's 'Girlfriend?' I think it is, which is why I'm telling you." lol, I love his honesty. But anyway, yes – that little comment completely inspired this ficlet, so enjoy folks! Hope you like. :)
Disclaimer: I do not own Scrubs, nor do I own "Girlfriend." Aka: not making any profit from this little piece of randomness.
My Newbie's Solo Act
It should not take a man over an hour to bathe, especially when they're on-call.
Now I know I shouldn't be surprised, considering Newbie is, in fact, a girl. But it was exactly sixty-five minutes ago when he scurried off into the showers after a patient vomited on him. Usually, he'd just go change into a new pair of scrubs, as the majority of us would, but this guy managed to puke on Susan just enough so that it soaked through his scrubs and onto his skin. I personally found it hilarious. He didn't, which made it all the more amusing if I do say so myself, but back to the point…
Newbie should have been out by now, and yeah…the hospital's calmed down since then, but the fact that he's still in there is really beginning to piss me off. It's just vomit. He should be used to it by now.
Deciding I've had enough of taking care of patients that are supposed to be his, I make my way over to the men's shower room, scaring a few passing interns in the process. I'm about to slam the door open until I hear an all too familiar voice. Except this time, he's not babbling away about some story I probably couldn't care less about, oh no. He's singing, and God help me, but I know this song. Jordan had it on in the car the other day. I cringed then, yes, but now it's just…now it's just undeniably perfect.
Seriously, Newbie. Sometimes, you just make it too damn easy.
I bring my ear closer to the door, not bothering to hold back the mischievous little smirk that makes its way onto my expression.
"Hey, hey! You, you! I don't like your girlfriend! No way, no way! I think you need a new one! Hey, hey! You, you! I could be your girlfriend!"
Biting the inside of my cheek to keep myself from laughing, I push the door open quietly, pressing my back against the wall as I examine each and every stall from where I stand. It's not hard to find which one it is, considering he's the only one in here besides myself. Which is a good thing too, because I'm very close to giving into laughter and blowing my cover, but no. Not yet. I have to wait this out just a little longer, because this? This is gold.
"Hey, hey! You, you! I know that you like me! No way, no way! You know it's not a secret! Hey, hey! You, you! I want to be your girlfriend!"
I'm standing by his stall now, leaning against the one next to his; arms folded over my chest and an amused grin plastered to my face. This is just way too good of a find. Abso-lue-hue-hute-ly priceless.
"She's like, so whatever! And you can do so much better! I think we should get together now, and that's what everyone's talking about!"
A small laugh escapes me, but the noise from both the shower and his own vocal cords keep Newbie from hearing. A small squeak against the tile informs me that he's moving around inside the stall, and I have to bite the inside of my mouth even harder. Not only is the kid singing such a girly song, but he's dancing to it too. This is definitely going on my list of favorite moments.
"In a second you'll be wrapped around my finger! Cause I can, cause I can do it better!"
I'm almost tempted to blow my cover then and there, just to ask what, exactly, he thinks he can do better than this imaginary opponent of his, but I keep on listening in entertained silence.
"Hey, hey! You, you! I don't like your girlfriend! No way, no way! I think you need a new one! Hey, hey! You, you! I could be your girlfriend! No way! No way! Hey, hey!"
The sound of water disappearing and the faucets being turned alerts me that he's finally done, and I suddenly remember why I even came here in the first place: To yell at him for taking so damn long in the shower and then to undoubtedly punish him for doing so. My grin widens. He's made that pretty easy for me too.
He steps out of the shower, completely unaware of my presence. That is, until I start clapping overdramatically, letting out sharp little whistles of "approval." Newbie let's out a "manly" shriek and turns to face me so quickly that I'm surprised he doesn't slip.
"D-Dr. Cox?"
"That, Girlfriend, was one hell of a show."
He just stares at me, wide eyed, completely and utterly at a loss for words.
"Now, I was originally going to come in here and pull your sorry little ass out of that shower stall and drag you back to the nurses' station, but honestly Newbie? You just made my day so-hoe much better, so I think I'm going to let you disappearing for over an hour slide, but this little incident? This one right here? That, Carol, will be a shared memory for me and you to enjoy on a daily basis."
I'm especially impressed at my use of sarcasm today, but even more than that, I'm impressed at how red Newbie can turn. His skin tone is dangerously close to matching the color of those ridiculous shower shortz he's sporting.
I toss him a mischievous grin as I make my way out of the men's room, leaving poor Newbie still stunned and speechless. I keep on walking till I reach the closest patient's room, thankfully empty, and let it all out at once. Bursts of laughter leave my body till I'm actually shaking, clutching at my ribs to regain a bit of control. I let out just one more laugh as I wipe a stray tear from the corner of my eye.
God bless ya', Newbie. I can honestly say you've made this shift much more entertaining than any other before.
A/N: LOL, hope you liked it as much as I liked writing it. :) Until next time!