The sky was clear but the wind was nipping his ears, but that didn't matter to him; he was looking at the new gravestone; or rather his violet eyes were looking but his mind couldn't take the information in. It was too much, after so long, so, so long and now this.

***

It was Kai who gathered up information, without his knowledge of course; ever since his Grandfather had died the bluenette seemed determined to help out his team mate. And he managed to piece the puzzle rather well together with the vague information he had given.

Kai learned of his past. Learned why he began part of BioVolt.

However, he didn't mind that Kai learned of it; if it had been Tyson or one of the other's… To know how his Father had changed, turning into a violent, vicious man who would beat his wife and young son.

And then his mother left, there was no note, nothing. Just her creeping into his room; holding him, singing him to sleep and then in the morning he looked around the house to find that she was gone. Although he did wonder as he grew up if she thought that by leaving her son would be safer.

At the time, Tala believed that it was his fault, and so did his father; every beating has that statement:

"You're the reason she left!"

Even when he was in BioVolt, before he was at the best range for a beyblade; before he was at 100%, he had those words haunting him, and the dreams, or more to the point nightmares that came made it even worse. Which was why he tried to hard, he had to stop those words coming into his head.

The nightmare he had before his battle with Tyson… That was painful, however he pushed it out of the way, focusing on the match; after all his mind was working like a computer it wouldn't allow him to remember that nightmare… But it was only for those few moments; during the battle that computer like mind broke down, allowing the horror of the nightmare to appear before his eyes. He went a bit crazy, Tyson freely admitted that Tala had scared him with his vows of defeat and distruction.

***

Sighing he looked up listening to the birds singing; and noticing that the wind had calmed down from its frosty chill. But with the sun shining over him, it wasn't exactly a typical day at the cemetery.

He looked down at the grave again; when he had first found it, he had been stunned. It was there.

It was true.

She was gone.

He blinked, feeling the unshed tears waiting to spill.

Focus Tala He scolded himself, kneeling down and touched the cold stone. All those years… You were dying… You were already dying, you left to save yourself.

***

"What?" Tala had glared at the bluenette with the news.

"She was already ill when she left," Kai stated calmly; he knew that Tala got angry easily, anyone could see that, but he also knew that this would be like killing Tala slowly. However, it had to be done; Kai had found this information and he felt he had to share it; not to pop Tala's dream of meeting his mother, but to make him realize that that dream could never come true.

"That's impossible…" He trailed off, unwilling to believe it.

"The stress that was going on…" Kai paused for a moment, he had to be tactful to Tala; "It was making her worse, she had to leave…"

"Or die an early death," Tala finished, although he knew that Kai would never say it, in fact the bluenette flinched a bit; but he closed his eyes; thinking; She left to save herself, and left her only child…

***

His eyes wandered to her date of birth, and did a rough calculation.

You were only 27 when you left… You still had a life to lead… One that didn't involve a child. He looked at the death… His eyes widened in horror; I just missed you… You were alive… And breathing… Two months ago…He shivered, the hairs on his neck stood as he processed that thought, it made him uneasy and he pushed it out of his mind.

Would you have been proud of me? Did you hear about my team? Did you cry when you heard about the Demolition Boys and what happened? Why didn't you try to contact me?

The questions rolled around his head, and he was well aware that they would never be answered; but that didn't matter, those questions were the one's he would have wanted to ask. He stood up and left the cemetery deciding that he since he wasn't there for his mother in life, he would be there now.

***

For a year Tala had gone and visited the grave site at least once a week, usually just looking and wondering all the 'what ifs' in his mind; other days he found he could only lay the flowers down and then he had to leave.

However he was waling to the graveyard, Russia was hosting the finales and he managed to get some time off from training with Kai; when he spotted Mr Dickinson carrying a brown parcel.

"Tala," The old man called to him, and Tala knew that he couldn't ignore him; it was something he would have done when he was younger, but now he was twenty and looking at the old man who had seen him grow up from a teen to now; he was like an Uncle. And he knew that to some people it sounded odd, but considering what he had been through it was almost normal. Even Kai agreed with him.

"He does have our best interests at heart, regardless if it's about the sport or life,"

"I have a package for you," The old man offered the brown parcel to him.

Tala took it and looked at it, it was all in Russian; Mr Dickinson wouldn't have a clue as to who sent it; but seeing the name he felt the blood drain from his face.

"Tala?" The old man said, sounding concerned.

He shook himself; "Thanks, I'll go and read it,"

"Are you alright?"

The Russian looked at the old man in front of him, knowing that anyone would have been lucky to have him as a Grandfather, or an Uncle; the old man cared about people, not just his own but everyone. And part of Tala just wanted to blurt out exactly what he was feeling, his hopes and disappointments; but he didn't.

"I'm okay,"

With a nod of thanks he walked into the graveyard with the flowers in one hand and the parcel in the other.

The grass by the grave was dry so he sat and carefully opened the parcel.

The letters all fell out, and they were all addressed to him. He read and re-read them all, unable to believe it. They all asked how he was, how he was missed, how upset she was at hearing of BiVolt and him being used in such a way. Then another…

They were all letters that she never sent, but the last one was the one that hit home:

To my darling boy; I doubt I will ever have a courage to send these to you, but now I no longer have the strength to even leave this bed. How I wish I could change it all… However you are still young, and I have no idea if you yearn to hear from me or not, but I do think that when you receive these I won't be able to answer any questions for you; I will probably be too medicated to be able to think clearly.

I just want you to know this, I am proud of you. When I heard what happened to your team, being used for world domination; I can't describe it, but then I learned that you and your team were once again competing, you have a lot more courage than I do; and I know that you got that from your father.

I hope you don't think badly of him, it wasn't the life he needed; you would have been too young to remember, but your father's life was always about going about and doing things, whether it was for his country or for a neighbor, he would help. He lost his job sent him adrift, and we both suffered for that; you more than I.

I know you want the answer to this. I left you alone with that man, I left you. Which is the reasons why I don't think I have ever sent these letters to you. I'm sorry. I never meant to leave you; I wanted to go and find myself somewhere and then come back and get you. But your father had moved and I didn't know where to look. Perhaps I should have contacted you when I had heard you were part of the Demolition Boy's, but I was too afraid of what would happen, that you would reject me.

But this is for you Tala, I am sorry for your hardships, and I know that I have been the cause of it all. But I need to say this, because I won't be able to say it to you; I am so proud of you, you have over come everything that was in your way, I don't think any mother could be prouder.

Tala folded the letter, there was more, another page in fact, but he couldn't read it; it was so much…

He closed his eyes and felt the tears slowly dripping out, he did nothing to stop them. He had his answers to the past, his mother loved him, and didn't leave to save herself; and she was proud of him.

That was all he wanted.