Disclaimer: I don't own CSI: NY

A/N: my fic writing is on hiatus at the moment, but I found this in my finished file (this didnt turn out as i had planned) - warnings - this fic deals with issues that some readers may find upsetting. Please review as reviews are love! Please don't flame me!

The heart has its reasons which reason does not know. - Blasé Pascal

It had been a long day. Everyone was tired; and it showed. Mac was yawning as he entered his office, wishing his team a good night, after having insisted they all went home and got a good night's sleep. No-one felt like arguing with him, and everyone did the usual round of goodbyes and good nights as they all left lab. Don felt stressed as he left the lab, this recent case had been tough, and it had evoked memories from his childhood that he had kept buried. They had all come to the surface, but he had yet to deal with it, preferring to keep his inner turmoil hidden for the time being. It was as he opened the main door and a cool breeze assailed him amongst the loud racket of New York at night that one farewell caught his eye. Danny was saying goodbye to Lindsay.

Correction, his Danny was saying goodbye to Lindsay. He could feel all the anger of his past swelling within him, and the possessive side of him was threatening to show. 'Danny should know better; he knows she likes him, he's just leading her on' he fumed.

As he got into his car he sat there silently wondering why Danny was taking so long to arrive. Deep down he knew he was being irrational, but tonight he couldn't help it, he didn't have the strength to fight his looming demons. Danny walked over to the car and pulled open the car door; he sat into the seat and sighed. 'Gawd damn it I'm tired' Don didn't react, 'you alright Don?' he only received a grunt of confirmation in return.

The drive home hadn't been eventful; it had been filled with an icy awkward silence. Danny breathed a sigh of relief when the car finally stopped. He wanted to confront Don and find out what was on his mind, but experience had taught him that sometimes that wasn't the best approach with the Detective.

Pushing open their apartment door, Danny wasn't prepared for what happened next. Don shoved him against the wall, his fingers digging into Danny's shoulders. 'What?' was all Danny was able to say before he was silenced by a slap from Don. 'I saw you and her, am I not enough for you, eh?'

'I – I what do you mean?'

'You and Lindsay, you're leading her on. Well actions have consequences, and you're going to learn.' Spat Don

Danny tried to push himself further into the wall. He had seen Don angry but never like this. He had seen that the case had been weighing down on Don, but he hadn't foreseen this explosion of rage or what would happen next.

'Don, babe, I don't want to!'

'Shut it Messer'

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Danny sat on the floor in shock. Gripping his ripped shirt he shivered as thoughts of what had happened haunted him. He loved Don, but Don had... he couldn't think about it, or understand it. This was not the Don he had fallen for. Suddenly realisation struck him that he didn't know where Don was and he was afraid. He was afraid of the man he loved.

Stumbling into the bathroom he locked the door behind him. He didn't want to face the world at the moment. He wanted to run. Everything he knew had been destroyed in Don's actions. Stepping into the shower he let the scalding water rain down on him. He didn't know what to feel anymore. His skin wasn't his, he felt dirty. But he didn't want to wash away Don from his life. He had only gotten what he deserved. Don was too good to him and he had risked it all by playing up to the attention others gave him.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Flack had run from the apartment, when he realised what he had done. His anger was no excuse. He had over-reacted; moreover he had ruined what he had with Danny. He didn't think he could face him. The insecurities and the self hatred he had been suppressing throughout the case returned only this time with more force. 'I'm not my father' he muttered to himself as he walked down a street, the cold air from earlier was chilling him to the bones and he remembered he had left without his jacket. It was only then that he realised that he didn't know where he was.

Flagging down a taxi, doubts as to where he should go sprung into his mind. He wanted to see Danny; to apologise. But he also wanted to run as far away from real life as he could. Staring at his outreached hand he shuddered as he thought back to what his hands had done. 'Danny isn't going to want to see me; I wouldn't want to see me. I've destroyed our relationship, if I can save it, he's only going to stay 'cause he'll think he can't do any better.'

He sank into the back of the taxi, he mumbled where he wanted to go, paying little attention to where the taxi was headed. He was surprised when it pulled up outside the apartment that he shared with Danny, not remembering what he had said to the driver.

He paid the driver and as the taxi pulled away from the kerb he just stared at the building in front of him. He felt a need to go and talk to Danny, but at the same time he just wanted to run from the reality of his actions.

He could feel his body move him towards the apartment, but his mind remained in the street staring up at the lit window.

He pushed open the door surprised to find it open. Danny was sitting on the sofa across the main room, with only a towel wrapped round his waist. A multitude of bruises patterned his toned skin. Guilt stabbed at Don's heart. Danny looked half the person he had been earlier. His body was hunched over with his arms wrapped around his middle in a protective self hug.

'Danny?'

The figure in front of Don flinched at the sound of his voice.

'I-I want to apologise, I know it probably means nothing to you, but whatever you decide to do I'll support you. I am so sorry, I can't excuse what I've done; I wish I could turn back the clock...'

'You did what was right'

'No Danny, I was wrong, no-one should do that to another human being'

'But I was leading Mont... Lindsay on. You were right.' Danny turned to face Don, 'I'm the one who's sorry. I won't do it again. I don't want to lose you, and I was just throwing what we had away.'

'Danny you deserve better than me.'

'I want you Don; I want to make this work. I can't forget what you did, but I can forgive. I should have helped you when I saw the case messing with ya'

'My past doesn't come into what I did. I'm not like that man.'

This last statement confused Danny a bit, he only knew a little of Don's past. 'I want to continue what we have. I need time. But I want you to open up more. When things get tough I want you to speak to me.'

Don's heart leaped at this. Danny wanted him back; he didn't deserve his kindness or his forgiveness. He slowly walked over to the sofa placing his hand gently on Danny's shoulder.

Danny flinched at Don's touch. 'I'm sorry' muttered Danny, 'I need time.'

Don sighed, as did Danny. 'I say I love you and time will show I love you' said Don. Staring at each other they knew it would take time. But they both knew they could get through this.

Forgiveness is letting go of all hope of a better past. - Annie Lamont