I would like to issue a formal apology for the last installment of 'The Count's World.' I would also like to urge anyone who experienced dizziness, nausia, and/or vomiting after reading it to contact their local poison control center. I've also gotten a formal request to never watch the Care Bears while brainstorming for the next set of episodes ever again.

This has been a Public Service Announcement paid for by the Association of People With Way Too Much Time On Their Hands. Remember- winners don't do drugs!

EPISODE 6-1

A few hours ago, Count Bleck had called his minions into the Meeting Room to give them their next assignment.

"It's been quite a while since our last mission," said Count Bleck. "I believe you've done wonderfully in your basic training. Count Bleck is pleased."

Mimi giggled and blushed. "Aww, thanks, Count! Tee hee hee!"

"I believe that this next mission will be a nice exercise for you all to work together as a team to solve problems and face a challenging task- all with nothing too severe riding on the line."

"It can't be any tougher'n Nastasia pushin' us all like me old gym instructor," said O'Chunks. "I haven't worked so hard since me old army days."

"I've never heard you talk about your old army days," said Dimentio.

"Ah... I don't like to talk about it," O'Chunks said offhandedly. "It doesn't harbor some of me best memories."

"I see," said Dimentio.

"Now," said Count Bleck. "I will be accompanying you one last time, as long as you do it properly. I will not interfere, and if I feel you are performing up to your old standards, I will go back to sending you on your own missions, as it was before." Back in the days of the Chaos Heart, he added silently.

"Super!" Mimi said happily.

"I want you all to work together on this one," said Count Bleck. "We're all going out. You don't get out of the castle enough, anyway."

And that's how, presently, Mimi, O'Chunks, Dimentio, Mr. L, Count Bleck, Tippi, Nastasia, and Félicie all found themselves warped to a snow-capped mountain. It was a clear day outside, and the snow on the ground was packed and soft. There were trees all up and down the cliff, with plenty of walkways for going up and down, and even some slides on the mountainside. It was the kind of place you would go to cut loose and have some real outdoor winter fun- build some snowmen, chuck snowballs at each other, slide on your tummy down an icy hill, and everything else you did on a day when school was cancelled. However, the Count's mission wasn't cancelled, and the minions had to get to work.

"So, Count," said O'Chunks. "What's this big mission yeh needed us all here to tackle?"

"There's a lost penguin child somewhere on this mountain," said Count Bleck. "I would like you to find him and bring him home to his mother, who lives somewhere down the slope."

"What?" O'Chunks was aghast. "Don't tell me yeh needed all four o' us for another one o' these sugar-sweet happy pants missions!"

"No," said Count Bleck. "I just wanted all of you. The means are different. The end is the same."

"Okay," said Mimi. "So there's a cute li'l penguin lost somewhere here and we have to get him back?"

"This sounds really familiar," said Mr. L, mostly to himself. "Like one of my bro's stories about his adventures..."

"All right, then," said Dimentio. "Shall we get started? I believe I can hear the desolate calls of a tristful child, echoing through the mountain side like a lederhosen-clad yodeler of the Swiss Alps."

"If you say so," said Count Bleck. "Now, go find him."

"Very well," said Dimentio. "I shall look down the slope." With that, he disappeared.

"I'm going to look around that area over there," said Mimi, pointing in one direction. "Here, Félicie! Come on, girl!"

Félicie bounded up to Mimi and jumped up and down excitedly. Mimi scratched her on the head, and Félicie took her place following her master.

Mimi looked up at Mr. L and asked, "Wanna come with me, Mr. L?"

"Eh, sure," said Mr. L. "Where are you looking, O'Chunks?"

O'Chunks crossed his arms. "I'm stayin' right here," he said gruffly. "I think this whole mission's a Count cop-out just to keep us busy."

"Be that as it may," said Count Bleck, tapping O'Chunks with his staff. "It is what Count Bleck requests. Is that not enough of a reason to do it?"

"Ehhh..." O'Chunks was caught off-guard. "Count, yeh know I'd do anythin' fer you. I'm in yer service."

Count Bleck pointed up the mountain. "Then go find that penguin child and bring him to his mother."

"Yeh aren't gonna make this easy fer me, are yeh, Count?" O'Chunks heaved a sigh, threw up his arms, and said, "All right. You win." Then he used his fartrocket to lift himself up the mountain, out of the picture. Now Count Bleck, Tippi, and Nastasia were by themselves.

"Yeah, so," said Nastasia, speaking up at last. "Do you really think this challenge is a good use of their time? I mean, there are bigger problems in the world, and this is kind of different from what you've been having them do."

"I know," said Count Bleck. "But Timpani heard of this most dreadful situation, and it distressed her so, and I thought, why not make an outing of it? Get out of the castle, have a change of scenery? What with the stress of re-training the past few weeks, I thought it would do them well to tackle an easy task, and then spend some time in a nice recreational environment."

"Okay," said Nastasia. "I'm on board with what you're saying. So, uh, what were you planning on doing while they're taking care of business?"

"I thought we could make a snowman."

Mimi spotted the little penguin first, waddling back and forth in a small patch of the mountain, crying out for his mother. She and Mr. L watched him from a distance, not wanting to startle the poor little dear.

"Aww, poor li'l guy," she cooed. "Come on, let's take him home."

"To his home?"

"Yeah," said Mimi. "That's what I meant."

Mr. L shrugged. "Just checking."

Mimi slowly approached the penguin. "Come here, little guy, it's okay," she said in a soothing voice. "We're here to take you home."

Suddenly, Félicie got excited, started yipping and bounded over to the penguin. Mimi reacted too late- the penguin screamed and started waddling away at top speed.

"No, Félicie!" she cried. "Bad girl! Bad Beanlet!"

Mimi grabbed Félicie and held her down, while Mr. L took off running after the penguin.

"Oh, dear," said Dimentio's voice. "It seems that we've already made a mess of this one."

Mimi looked up and saw Dimentio hanging in the air above her.

"Dimentio! I shoulda known you'd mess this up for me!" she snarled.

Dimentio landed and put his hands up. "Oh, no, no," he said quickly. "I want this to be done as soon as possible myself. I had nothing to do with your Beanlet's little outburst. She is, after all, merely a puppy. The sight of a foreign animal must have excited her."

"I guess," Mimi grumbled. "I suppose I shouldn't have brought her. She's just too cute to leave by herself."

"It's a good deal better than what would have happened if you tried to bring Charlotte," Dimentio said lightly.

Mr. L came back, soaked from his neck to his feet. "I fell in the snow," he explained. "The little penguin is just down the way. He stopped running. Mimi, why don't you hold onto Felicie and I'll... um... hi, Dimentio."

Mr. L had just noticed that Dimentio had been staring at him this entire time.

"What is it? Do I have something on my face?" Mr. L chuckled nervously.

"Yes," said Dimentio. "A desultory string of shaggy hair, black as the ash and charcoal of a barbeque pit."

"Um... okay..." Mr. L took a step backwards. "Do you... uh... want to... help get the... the... uh... would you stop staring at me like that?"

Dimentio snapped his fingers and disappeared.

"I swear, he just does those things to creep me out," muttered Mr. L. "That's just not right. Anyway, you hang on to Félicie and I'll go down the mountain and catch the penguin. And, um, if you see O'Chunks, tell him we found the penguin. Got it?"

"Yeah!"

The little penguin was waddling back and forth, thinking his little penguin thoughts, happy as he could be considering he was separated from his mother and lost. Mr. L watched him carefully. He was making a plan in his mind, exactly how he could walk up to the penguin and grab it, but also handling it gently and speaking in soothing tones so as not to frighten it too terribly.

He carefully made his way over to the penguin and knelt down in the snow so he was at eye level. "Hey, little guy," said Mr. L. "I'm here to take you back home, okay? Can you come with me?"

The Penguin flapped his wings and began to waddle away.

"Hey, no, don't do that," Mr. L said. "Come on, it's okay. Here, I got—" and he grabbed the Penguin around the middle and picked him up. Right away the penguin started to cry, a horrible sound from any creature, and worse when you knew you were causing it.

Just then, O'Chunks landed on the ground in front of Mr. L, having suddenly returned from searching the top of the mountain.

"Hey, Green Thunder!" he greeted. "Looks like yeh found the scamp, didja?"

"Yes," Mr. L said over the crying. "And you've gone and scared him."

"Oh, did I? 'Ere, lemme calm 'im down fer yeh."

Mr. L looked at the penguin, and then up at O'Chunks hesitantly. "Um… no, I don't think so…"

"Ah, yeh'r probably right," said O'Chunks. "Well, then, let's go tell the Count we found 'im."

This story is asking you to remember that, in Episode 3, when asked to give up her pet Chain Chomp, Mimi was presented with a substitute pet, a Beanlet named Félicie. I think I liked Charlotte better, though...