I've always been curious about the purebloods. hewhoistomriddle is affecting me more than I thought. Spending too much time with her. Anyways, this is my take on Narcissa. Because I want to believe that there is a human being under the pureblood mania and pretty face.
Disclaimer: The usual. Harry Potter is borrowed from the imagination of Mrs. Rowling.
Gilded Cage
"A caged bird does not sing."
"Black, Narcissa!" Professor McGonagall crisply called out.
Slowly, the eleven-year-old girl stepped up to the stool and sat down. The entire Great Hall was muted for a moment. She was possessed of an unearthly beauty. Hair like spun gold, delicate, porcelain skin, and eyes brighter than sapphires. But Narcissa did not hear the gasps and sighs, nor see the slightly widened, adoring eyes drinking her in.
She saw her eldest sister Bellatrix, observing her from the Slytherin table, her heavy-lidded eyes glinting with anxiety for her youngest sister. She saw her other elder sister Andromeda way over in the Gryffindor table, so different from Bella yet with the same worry in her eyes. She saw her cousin Sirius, looking curiously up at her from the horde of other first years. Already, Sirius had found a friend in the messy-haired, bespectacled boy he'd met on the train. Then Narcissa put on the Sorting Hat.
She sat regally on the stool, as she had been taught, listening to the voice of the hat.
My, my… Another Black. I would have placed you in Slytherin straight away but there is something… different about you. You have cunning, to be sure. But perhaps not enough ambition? What I do see is a great thirst for knowledge.
Narcissa paled slightly. Surely it would not…?
I can see you doing well in Ravenclaw. What do you say, eh?
No. NO! Slytherin. Slytherin was the only house the Black family deemed suitable. Andromeda being sorted into Gryffindor had caused an uproar in the entire Black household. Now, she was treated as no better than a servant because of that. Their mother had claimed it had broken her heart. Everyone was expecting Narcissa to be sorted into Slytherin, to erase the shame Andromeda had brought. Family was everything. She could not let them down!
Slytherin… Please just put me in Slytherin! she begged the hat. Not Ravenclaw. Slytherin. Please Slytherin…
Are you sure? You could accomplish many things in Ravenclaw. It will help you discover yourself the most, you know.
Slytherin. Not Ravenclaw. Narcissa felt her entire body grow cold.
All right, then. If you feel you know what's best for you. I'll place you in…
"SLYTHERIN!"
Narcissa silently thanked the hat before placing it back on the stool. The Slytherins were applauding her in their cool, aloof manner. Bellatrix was waiting for her there. Narcissa met her sister's eyes and longed to run to Bella, hug her and tell her how scared she'd been up there. But Narcissa Black was a pureblood.
The rest of Hogwarts looked on wonderingly as she slowly glided over to the Slytherin table, the very picture of grace and elegance before seating herself with the bearing of a queen. Bellatrix smiled proudly.
Andromeda frowned in disappointment. Cissy deserved better than to follow in the footsteps of their parents. She turned back to the Sorting as "Black, Sirius" was called.
One month later…
Narcissa ran her pale fingers over the spines of the books in the library, marveling at the repository of knowledge contained here in Hogwarts. Why, the books here rivaled even those of their library back at home! Narcissa couldn't wait to start reading.
Selecting a book on mythology, she went over to a table tucked away in a corner of the library and started to read. About an hour had passed before somebody tapped her on the shoulder.
"Excuse me."
Slightly dazed, Narcissa looked up. Andy used to tell her that she would become so enamored in books that she lost herself in their universe. The person who had tapped her was a girl her age. She was pretty with bright red hair and laughing, emerald green eyes.
"Everywhere else was full. Would you mind if I sat here with you?"
Narcissa's eyes flicked to the girl's badge. She was a Gryffindor. Like Andy. Like Sirius. She was the enemy. But Narcissa found herself nodding. It wasn't like she was disobeying her parents. She didn't have to talk to the girl. Just sit across from her.
The girl smiled. "Thanks! I'm Lily Evans, by the way."
A pause. "Narcissa Black." Lily frowned as Narcissa Black went back to her book and continued ignoring her for the rest of the afternoon.
They continued reading until the sun began to set. Then together, never speaking a word, they returned their books and went out of the library. It became a ritual. Every Saturday afternoon when Lily Evans went into the library, she would find Narcissa sitting on the same table. She would join her, each reading her own book, not talking to each other, but each one enjoying the company all the same.
It was a cold Saturday in December and Narcissa was snuggling into her fur scarves and muffler. But she was somewhere off in medieval England, reading of the witch princess who had been unfortunate enough to love a vampire. She was getting to the good part when Lily Evans started muttering about something. Frowning, Narcissa ignored the other girl but five minutes later, Lily's muttering was starting to damage her concentration. Narcissa shut the book, a frown starting to downturn the corners of her mouth.
"…place it in that position and wave the wand like…" Lily was muttering. Narcissa listened for a minute before realizing what the other girl was talking about.
"Is that Transfiguration?"
Surprised, Lily looked up. She nodded, still slightly disbelieving. In all the months they'd known each other, she'd never heard Narcissa Black speak except for the time when she'd said her name.
"Er, yes," Lily found her voice. "I'm having some difficulty with it so…"
Narcissa stared at the diagram Lily was making. "That's quite simple. It goes like this," then she found herself demonstrating the Transfiguration principle to the Evans girl. Lily listened and nodded.
"I get it! Wow, it is easy. You're really good at this!" Lily smiled.
Narcissa merely blinked before returning to her book. Lily had stopped muttering so she finished reading in peace. When she was done, she shut the book and stood up.
"Wait."
Arching a brow, Narcissa turned to Lily. The Gryffindor girl looked a little embarrassed. "Er, well… you're really good in Transfiguration right? I mean, you're just as good as Sirius Black and James Potter."
"Yes."
"I was, er, wondering if you could… tutor me with some of the things. I can't really grasp some of the abstract stuff that well…" Lily continued hurriedly. "I'd be willing to trade of course. I mean, if you need help in Charms, I'm really good! Professor Flitwick says so. Or in Potions!"
Narcissa really wanted to refuse. She really did. "I do need help with Potions," she found herself saying. "All right, then. Next Saturday, here." Then she left the library.
They tutored each other until February. A little earlier than usual one day, Narcissa was startled from her reading by two raised voices.
"I told you, Potter. Stop following me!" it was Lily, her voice annoyed and frustrated.
"Come on, Evans," a boyish voice that was slightly familiar spoke next. "Go out with me. Just once!"
"Can't you understand what no means, Potter?"
"Ow, James. I think she just turned you down," Narcissa recognized her cousin Sirius' voice.
The three turned a corner and found Narcissa sitting in front of the table. Lily looked gratefully at her. James frowned. Sirius just grinned.
"Hey, Cissy! Reading, huh? Should've known."
Narcissa froze. She did not know what she was supposed to do. Lily began walking over to her.
"Get lost, Potter," the redhead told the boy. "We have to – "
"Is something wrong here?" a cool voice drawled out.
Narcissa saw another boy emerge from behind the bookshelves. Lucius Malfoy. He was also in their year and in Slytherin. He saw Narcissa behind the three Gryffindors.
"Bella!" he called out. "I've found your sister."
"Oh, thank goodness!"
Bella walked swiftly towards Narcissa. "Thank Merlin I've found you, Cissy. I've been searching for you everywhere! What – " Bella's eyes narrowed as she saw the three Gryffindors. Then her lips twisted into a mean little smile. "Well, well. If it isn't two blood-traitors and a Mudblood. Really, the filth you find in this school."
Sirius and James glared at her and clenched their fists. Lily just frowned, understanding she was being insulted but not really knowing what a Mudblood was.
"Come on, Cissy. You don't want to associate with this riffraff," Bella sneered.
"But we're supposed to tutor each other!" Lily burst out.
There was a cold silence in the library. "No, we're not," Narcissa's voice coldly cut in. Everyone turned to her.
"She's lying," Narcissa continued coolly. "I'd never willingly spend time with Mudbloods like her. Let's go, Bella."
Turning her nose up in the air, Narcissa regally left the library with Bellatrix and Lucius following close behind. She heard Lily Evans' voice though before she stepped out of the library entirely.
"I thought we were friends…"
Fifth Year…
Narcissa stared over at the Gryffindor table where Andromeda sat. Her sister looked more subdued than Narcissa had ever seen her. Beside Narcissa, Bella was chatting with her friends as though nothing was wrong. Narcissa wondered how Bella stood it. Andromeda was still their flesh and blood. Narcissa clenched her clammy hands together.
Suddenly, a warm hand slipped into one of her own and intertwined with her fingers. Surprised, she looked up. It was Lucius Malfoy. He was looking at her with an unusually sympathetic expression.
"I heard about what happened," he said softly. "Is it really true?"
Narcissa nodded. "His name is Ted Tonks. He's in Ravenclaw and muggle born. Mother and father were terribly angry towards her. The thrashing she received before they threw her out…"
"It must be all that influence from those horrid Gryffindors," he deduced.
"I don't think it's a good enough reason for them to throw Andy out and blast her name from the family tree. She will always be a Black!" Narcissa muttered hotly.
Lucius lifted her chin and her eyes met his. "It's our way," he said gently. "It doesn't always make sense but that's how it is. Your sister is a blood-traitor. Therefore she must be treated as such for the disgrace she has brought upon your family. But that does not mean that you should stop loving her. She is still your sister, even if it is only in your own heart."
Narcissa's eyes widened. Even after many years would pass, she would always remember that as the one moment where she and Lucius Malfoy understood each other completely.
One year after…
Narcissa stared at it. She was in her Sixth Year and had just gotten home for Christmas vacation. Bella was there to welcome her back. Narcissa couldn't stop staring at the 'surprise' Bella had for her. The mark seared onto the pale skin of her sister's left arm seemed to be mocking her. She had to control herself not to flinch.
"Isn't it wonderful?" Bella laughed. "Rudo and I got ours together. Master was so pleased. He said we were the most devoted followers he had ever seen!"
Narcissa turned back to Bellatrix's face, anywhere but at the ugly mark. "Was – was Lucius there?" she asked faintly.
"Oh, if that's what you're concerned about, you needn't worry. Of course he was. Master said he showed a lot of promise for one so young," Bella said it like gossip as she settled herself on Narcissa's bed. "Even Regulus will be taking the mark when he's older." She then glanced curiously at her younger sister.
"Will you?"
"No," it came out more forceful than Narcissa intended. "I wouldn't be of much use to your cause I'd expect."
Bella laughed unpleasantly. "Poor Cissy. Always the vain one, aren't you? Wouldn't want to mar your pretty skin?" Bella mocked. "So be it then. You at the very least know where your loyalties lie."
Narcissa shut her eyes as Bella pranced from the room. She did not want it to mar her skin. She did not want it to mar her soul.
On the Hogwarts Express heading back to the school after Christmas vacation, she encountered Andromeda, who had spent Christmas with the Tonks boy and his family. They both stood on the slightly swaying corridor of the train for a moment, just looking at each other.
"I heard about Bella," Andromeda said, turning her face away. "She's one of them now isn't she? A Death Eater."
Narcissa could only nod. Andromeda bit her lip. "Does she even know what she's getting herself into?" Andromeda whispered.
"Yes," Narcissa told her sister. "She does."
Andromeda raised her eyes beseechingly to Narcissa. "Cissy… You… Are you…?"
Slowly, Narcissa removed the silk-lined fur coat she wore. Andromeda stared with relief at the unblemished porcelain skin of her sister's left arm.
"Thank you, Cissy."
It happened a year after she was married. Narcissa stared at the letter delivered to her via owl post in shock. Numbness started creeping in. The words, the letters written on the piece of parchment didn't make sense. They couldn't be true. She had crumpled the letter and fainted.
The very next day, a white-faced Narcissa went over to her sister's estates. Rudolphus was away when Bella welcomed her in. Bella didn't even have to ask what was wrong with her. She knew why Narcissa had come.
"Were you with them?" Narcissa asked, trembling slightly as she refused the cup of tea Bellatrix offered. Bella didn't reply.
Narcissa turned to her, face white and blazing. "Did you go with the other Death Eaters when they killed Andromeda?!" she half-screamed.
Bella looked back at her solemnly. "I had to do it. The Master needed me to prove my loyalty."
Narcissa felt her lip trembling but with a supreme effort managed to rein in her emotions. "How could you?" she whispered.
Bella turned to her with indifferent eyes. "What does it matter? She's not our sister anymore, is she?"
Narcissa sank onto the plush divan. She did not even want to ask if Lucius had been there, too. Somehow, she feared the answer.
Andromeda's funeral was held two weeks later. Narcissa did not even try to come. It was forbidden. But she did see the grieving husband and the little girl her sister had left behind. Narcissa came to Andromeda's tombstone a week after the funeral itself.
I could never be as strong as you, Andy. I could never stand up for what I believed in.
She didn't cry for Andromeda.
"Why waste tears on a blood traitor?" Lucius had said.
At least, she didn't cry on the outside.
One year after Andromeda's funeral and Narcissa found herself attending another funeral. Her face was a white mask as she stood beside Lucius while Regulus' casket was lowered to the ground. Nobody was crying at all. Tears at a pureblood funeral were considered unseemly. Narcissa noticed that nobody had even bothered to invite Sirius.
Once the funeral was over, she approached Bella who was in a hurry. Narcissa knew they were meeting with the Dark Lord directly after the funeral.
"Don't go, Bella," she found herself saying.
Bellatrix turned to her, a confused expression on her face. "What are you saying, Cissy?"
"I've already lost Andy. Even Regulus is dead," Narcissa's voice sounded wooden to her ears. "I don't want to lose you, too."
Bella's face softened somewhat at that. "You won't lose me, Cissy." Then she was gone.
Narcissa found herself standing in front of the freshly turned soil of Regulus' grave. I think I already have, Bella.
Eighteen years later…
During the eve of the Final Battle, Narcissa found herself alone in Malfoy Manor. The night held an unusual chill so she spent the rest of it sitting in front of the fireplace, feeding wood to the fire. And there she remained until the sun started to peep over the horizon. When Lucius didn't return that day, she knew which side of the war had won. The Dark Lord was gone at last.
But so were her sisters, her cousins and her husband. They too had fallen in the senseless war started by a madman.
No tears fell. Narcissa felt that she had forgotten how to cry from all those years of being an ice statue. She stood looking over the entirety of the Malfoy estates from a balcony. They were still magnificent, especially illuminated by the soft light of dawn. She knew either the Ministry or the Order of the Phoenix would be coming here soon. She had to get ready.
Her gaze fell on a photograph of Draco. It was the only picture of him left in the entire manor. Lucius had ordered the rest burned down after Draco announced that his alliance lay with the Light side when he was fifteen years old. Narcissa had saved this last photograph. She smiled at it before getting dressed.
Four hours later, they were knocking on the front door. Ministry representatives and members of the Order. Narcissa let them in. There was just one person she did not expect to be with them.
"Draco," she whispered as she stared at the son who she had not seen for so long.
Draco was seventeen now. He had grown a lot since Narcissa had last seen him. His hair was slightly longer, his eyes more mature and his face slightly more careworn. But the unmistakable aristocracy of Lucius and Narcissa's genes combined showed pure through Draco as he stood with her inside her bedroom, Harry Potter standing behind him.
"Mother," Draco said, looking back at the woman who after so many years still looked regal as a queen. "Father is…"
"It's all right. I know what happened to your father."
Draco looked around, then back at Narcissa desperately. "They're going to raid the manor. They'll confiscate it afterwards. You won't have anywhere to go. Mother, come with us."
Narcissa sighed. She had expected this. "No, Draco. I don't belong in your world anymore. This is my world, till the very end. I was never as brave as you, or Andromeda or even Sirius. I could never leave this world though I've wanted to all my life. Now I have to die with it."
"But mother – "
"Everything is as it should be, my son. You will be happy with your new life. You must. For me," Narcissa took out a small box from her dresser drawer and handed it to Draco. "They will raid the manor but they will find nothing here because nothing is here. Inside that box is your father's last will and testament, leaving everything to me. Now, I leave it all to you. They will not confiscate the manor, Draco. It will pass on to you, as will everything in our vaults. I have left there instructions for the lawyers. They will not take it away from you, not after you have fought for their side of the war."
Draco clutched the box as though his life depended on it but looked beseechingly at his mother.
"You must go now," Narcissa whispered. "There is one more thing I have to take care of. Go."
Draco hesitated but Narcissa fixed him with a last piercing look and then he left the room. Harry Potter seemed to hesitate too, but then he turned around to follow Draco.
"I knew your mother," Narcissa said in a low voice that caused Harry to stop in his tracks. Slowly, he turned around.
"Mrs. Malfoy?"
"I knew your mother," Narcissa repeated. "In Hogwarts. We could have been friends but I never took the risk. She was a fine woman. It's a pity you never knew her."
Harry nodded. Narcissa's blue eyes met Harry's emerald ones and Narcissa knew that Harry understood what she had to do. She smiled sadly at him. "Take care of my Draco. You can make him happy as his father and I never could."
There was a lump in Harry's throat. "I will, Mrs. Malfoy. I'll do the best I can."
Then slowly, he turned and left, shutting the door behind him.
Narcissa just stood there for a moment, then she extracted a small vial from her robes. It was full of a fast acting poison. She removed the stopper and stared at the blood red liquid. It was true. She had lived with this world. Now she would die with it.
Draco, my son. How can I make you understand that this is the only way for me to be free at last?
She brought the poison to her lips and swallowed it quickly in one gulp. Her surroundings started to spin and her world lost focus. She did not even feel the sensation of falling or of her body thudding to the floor and the glass vial shattering into a million diamantine pieces on the hard marble. She saw indistinct shapes and heard indistinct voices that were slowly becoming clearer and clearer.
She fancied she could hear them. Andy, Bella, Lucius. Even Lily Potter. As her eyes shuttered close forever, Narcissa experienced a blissful peace.
When they found her, she was lying dead on the floor, regal as a queen.
Beautiful and delicate as a snowflake.
End
How was it? I love the way it spans out. Who the heck knew I could write tragedy? Please read and review!