Disclaimer: I don't own..ok, I repeated this many times and the two games DW/Rot3k are owned by Koei.
A/N: Sigh, Zhao Yun gave Sun Shang Xiang a chance and she spat it in the novel, but historically it's a sadder prospect. This is still a canon pairing for Zilong, but do SSX ever understand his feelings…? I didn't forget the Zhao Yun x SSX pairing fans so here's a oneshot for them.
Caring About You
Frustrated, he watched the ship motion away from his presence. Her face turns away from his. He can tell she's crying softly because he took it heavily on her to decide what she'll choose, returning to the life of obscurity or stay in the life of freedom. No matter what choice she makes, he will not forget her. It's a one time only and the choice she made was the most critical. She knew she'll never come back. There's no right or wrong choice, it's the choice of her life.
Flashback…
Courting was relatively simple for her, but eyes were being watched everywhere. Even her newly husband was started by her differences compare to the wives of before. Men were still the same, like in the early life with her brother, they scoff at her interest in warfare. Is there something not womanly for them to appreciate her.
"My lord, what is there to be afraid of my female guards?" Sun Shang Xiang glared at her husband who got started by sharp objects near his neck.
"Um...is it really necessary, Lady Sun? I'm suppose to be your husband, were your associates that suspicious of me? What if my men arrive to attack women?" Liu Bei asked.
"Hehehe, then forgive my attendees of the sudden outrage. They're rather overprotective of me. I trained them as I told you before," Sun Shang Xiang giggled.
"It'll be more prudent to discipline them appropriately. I'm the Lord of this province and their superior. Please bear that in mind," Liu Bei straighten his garments and then told her his reasons being here, "I am going to depart to Yi Zhou and meet Liu Zhang."
Sun Shang Xiang got up from her seat and took this opportunity to be useful of her husband. This is a chance to show her what she is to this force. There hasn't been any opportunity to go out into the world except this marriage, she's been locked in Jiang Dong since growing up.
"My lord, please allow me to join you? I've wanted to see what it's like in Yi zhou," Sun Shang Xiang begged.
"That will not be. This isn't something for you to get involve, what if your brother…" Liu Bei was cut off before he finish his sentence.
"I'm your responsibility now," Sun Shang Xiang retorted.
"And it's my responsibility to keep you out of trouble," Liu Bei looked at her strictly. He gives a serious look that always conquers her innocent. He rushed out of her room and prepared his men to escort him to the gates.
What a way to kill the mood. It had come to this. She's been looked as an ordinary woman doing the usual things. Do anyone feel appreciate of who she really is? Are there anyone in Liu Bei that truly cares about her. Spending the afternoon with Yue Ying was all she'll ever do. What did this side take her for?
On the next day, Liu Bei already left to Yi Zhou. She took care of Liu Shan and eventually taught Xing Cai the art of war. Ministers continue to pay close attention to her and some whispered why she's so close to Liu Shan. Isn't it obvious? This is what it's like being a married wife raising a child that wasn't hers.
It was that time, Zhao Yun went to check on her after inspecting the town. He's the handsomest man she met compare to the others who are more manly and bash like Zhang Fei. She rarely met her brother's officers except Zhou Tai. It's always that silent officer of his that gets on her nerves and there's Zhou Yu the one who been with her oldest brother since he raise his army, her father's veteran officers Cheng Pu, Huang Gai, Han Dang, and Zhu Zhi along with her uncle Wu Jing among others. Ling Tong wants her to stay away from Gan Ning.
"Good afternoon, my lady," Zhao Yun bowed.
"You know, I'm getting sick of the formal. I wasn't raise to be a courtesan," Sun Shang Xiang sighed.
"I'm sorry, Shang Xiang. It's proper of me to call you 'my lady' because it's the rule of nobility. I'll get scolded by a noble woman if I don't call her by her status," Zhao Yun grinned.
"Then that woman must be a gold digging skank," Sun Shang Xiang joked.
"What's a gold digging skank?" Xing Cai stopped her archery practice and look up at her mentor.
"A whore, Xing Cai. And I'm not going to make you into one as long as I teach you everything about being a female warrior," Sun Shang Xiang said.
"My mother used to tell me that whores like to portray themselves dominating their looks over men. Ew, as long as Liu Shan doesn't look at me the same way," Xing Cai glares at the younger child who is staring at her.
"Hahahaha, he's not ready to know such things," Sun Shang Xiang said.
"He has time to be what he wants to be. His tutor will be announced soon," Zhao Yun smiled.
"Will he grow up to be a pervert?" Sun Shang Xiang crossed her arms.
"If he stops staring at me…." Xing Cai frowned.
"Hmm, she is pretty," Liu Shan pointed at Xing Cai.
"Isn't it obvious, pervert," Xing Cai then tickled Liu Shan.
"Oh that's right, Guan Ping is with Liu Bei. Just to let you know, Xing Cai," Zhao Yun informed.
"Oh, hmph, and father keeps nagging at me that I'm not ready to join him," Xing Cai crossed her arms in disappointed.
"There's still time to train yourself till you get to fight along side Guan Ping," Sun Shang Xiang cheered her up.
"Right, I almost mastered the precision of targeting the shot," Xing Cai resume her training.
Sun Shang Xiang and Zhao Yun watched Xing Cai release the arrow and the target hits the center bull eye.
"She's really into this," Sun Shang Xiang said.
"Yide was never good with archery," Zhao Yun stated.
"He's that bad?" Sun Shang Xiang twitched her eyebrow wondering how's that so.
"There was this one time he was drunk trying to beat Huang Zhong in a game of 10. He released his bow and accidently shot a soldier in the butt. We all laughed at Zhang Fei's lack of accuracy," Zhao Yun chuckled.
"Reminds me of a certain someone," Sun Shang Xiang smirked.
"There are some great talents in Jiang Dong," Zhao Yun sighed.
"Especially when some of them are corrupted like Pan Zhang," Sun Shang Xiang sadly thought.
"Will you like to join me out for the night? I wanted to show you something," Zhao Yun asked.
"Show me what?" Sun Shang Xiang looked at Zhao Yun puzzled.
"It's a secret only Pang Tong knows. It's a place I usually spend my time in when I have nothing else to do," Zhao Yun bowed to his ladyship and return to his duty as a sima.
Sun Shang Xiang was left wondering what was it he wanted to show her. She sat down on the stoned stood watching Xing Cai continuing to shoot targets with Liu Shan watching.
The night later…
Zhao Yun escort his lady into the nightly field just a few miles away from Jiang Ling. They found themselves chatting as usual before the surprise awaits.
"It's very late, Zhao Yun," Sun Shang Xiang yawned.
"I know, that's why it's the perfect time to bring you here. No one is going watch you at this time and Zhuge Liang been at home writing his own book. You'll feel more comfortable with me at a time like this," Zhao Yun said.
"You're such a charmer. Why is it you're the only officer of Liu Bei's who's getting into my life? What about the rest of the guys? Do they see me the same way like you?" Sun Shang Xiang crossed her arms annoyed.
"My lord asked me to look after you when he left. There isn't anyone else who can get along with you," Zhao Yun said.
"What does Zhuge Liang think of me?" Sun Shang Xiang asked.
"A tool of Sun Quan," Zhao Yun answered.
"Ma Liang?" Sun Shang Xiang brought up the White Eyebrows.
"The same…" Zhao Yun frowned.
"Ma Su," Sun Shang Xiang continued.
"That idiot thinks you're barbaric," Zhao Yun shook his head.
"If he's an idiot ,why is he a scholar?" Sun Shang Xiang questioned.
"Because of his brother and the fact that men are allowed to study at schools," Zhao Yun said.
"That's perportuous! Zhou Yu had given me the best for my education. It doesn't matter what my gender is!" Sun Shang Xiang mocked at Liu Bei's scholars.
"Forgive me, Shang Xiang. We stick to the Han Imperial law and it's policy, unlike the Cao family policy they made cruel methods with. Someday, once we restore the Han Dynasty, we'll change the way of women lives. Just like Lady Huang's, she's a daughter of a scholar which was credited of her education," Zhao Yun stated.
"Women deserves to go into schools," Sun Shang Xiang nodded.
"I agree so," Zhao Yun concur.
"I guess…my father's efforts to restore the Han went for nothing…I barely get to look at his face when I was a baby," Sun Shang Xiang walked slower when she mentions her old man.
"But your oldest brother was fantastic for putting such a resolve," Zhao Yun cheered her up.
"You don't know half of it. People over here thinks my brother fought for that traitor Yuan Shu. It dishearten me to hear it everywhere. He attacked Han officials like Liu Yong and Wang Lang. Am I a traitor's sister?" Sun Shang Xiang stopped and looked at Zhao Yun with watery eyes.
"Look, whatever other people's opinions throw at you, you'll just pay attention to what I say. Now, Liu Yong and Wang Lang got their offices by the real traitor Li Jue. Wang Lang was Tao Qian's minister and now he left him to get a promotion from Li Jue. He is now serving Cao Cao, so it doesn't matter anymore to me. I think Sun Ce did the right thing and the people of Jiang Dong were satisfied of being governed by the descendant of his ancestral land where as I myself had failed…." Zhao Yun said.
"You failed..? What do you mean? You saved the lord's son," Sun Shang Xiang said.
"But, I failed to save his eldest daughter. She's now a wife of a Cao relative," Zhao Yun countered.
"That doesn't make you a failure. Women can not escape war, if she had trained to defend herself, then you'll likely have saved her too. Instead, you save her mother and son," Sun Shang Xiang urged.
"I couldn't save everyone. It's how I feel very vulnerable at. I'm suppose to succeed my duty to protect my lord's family," Zhao Yun said and he leaves one thing only to himself, "and I failed to stop Yuan Shao and now I brought misfortunate on Zhen Ji."
"That's what it feels to be weak as a man. But, to me, you're strong. Much stronger than any man I met," Sun Shang Xiang said.
"So are you feeling weak as a woman because..you're alone?" Zhao Yun curiously asked.
"You're right. Look at me being married to someone I barely know and my brother is releasing me from the very same place I grew up and this is what my newly husband repay me. I thought it'll make a different, but I was wrong," Sun Shang Xiang choked.
"You have me, Lady Sun. I know how it feels for a lady in that solution. Trust me," Zhao Yun place his hand on hers.
Sun Shang Xiang returned her eyes into the face of the Dragon of Chang Shan. It's like he understands her very well.
"Come, we're almost there," Zhao Yun smiled.
Sun Shang Xiang playfully hang her arm around his. It's weird because she's supposedly married to someone else, but Zhao Yun is a special person into her life.
Once they reach their destination, Sun Shang Xiang became awe of this private resort. It's a small garden with four torches lighting the place.
"I can't believe a guy like you made a private garden," Sun Shang Xiang said shockly.
"From where I was raise, I spend my time helping farmers. But, that's not all, gardening ease my mind from the violent world I wandered," Zhao Yun stood a feet away to allow Sun Shang Xiang move around the garden.
"All for the sake of creating plants. Why did you want me to see this?" Sun Shang Xiang turns back to Zhao Yun's presence.
"Because, I want to share you my feelings for you. This is like a memo for the hardships I've gone through," Zhao Yun said.
"You're…not the type to be proud of fighting…" Sun Shang Xiang started to get alittle confused.
"Fighting in the battlefield force me to confront the violent world that the corrupted governments could only understand. Everyone wanted peace, but I want to stop the corruption. Your family is a potential threat to my lord, but to me, when I see your eyes, I felt there's people in Jiang Dong that share the same vision. If we continue to confusion ourselves with hostilities then none of us will have peace. Your brother Sun Quan is someone I don't trust, but I can trust you to achieve it if you bear with us, please? I'm giving you a chance. I truly care about you and I hope my lord does the same along with the rest of our army," Zhao Yun said.
"Isn't that's why your lord allied with my brother to attack Cao Cao at Chi Bi?" Sun Shang Xiang wondered.
"To my lord, it's a desperate gamble. To your brother, it's an opportunity," Zhao Yun said.
"But…we sacrificed everything for nothing. This province my father once governed…it became the sole reason to my brother's ambition. Zhou Yu died for that…" Sun Shang Xiang said.
"It's worth fighting for the land his sworn brother protected. That's what it's like being independent to Cao Cao's government," Zhao Yun said.
"But…but, I don't understand…" Sun Shang Xiang shook her head.
"You will soon. Very soon…," Zhao Yun then escort her back into the castle.
"Even so…this province was where I was born. So why are you even trying, Lord Zhao Yun?" Sun Shang Xiang thought.
A few days later, she felt more comfortable living her new life. Getting to know everyone better from Zhao Yun, things willing to change accordingly. But, she's still being watched and her followers, mostly the lady guard were causing discontent with ministers because they're too overprotective and the fact that they're women.
Flashback ends….
Unfortunately, she made her choice by returning to Wu. He can not tell her the true, because it will alienate her decision to return to Wu. He couldn't tell her that her brother…was using her for corrupted means.
"I couldn't save her either. Caring about her brings me more sadness on this violent world.…." Zhao Yun thought. Liu Chan was still terrified by what happened between Zhao Yun and Sun Shang Xiang. Zhao Yun turn his white horse and rode into the darkness. It was hard to getting her into believing his vision.