you'll soon find you have few choices/ all you have is your fire and the place you need to reach (arsonist's lullaby, caitlyn aldin)
There was so much fucking blood. Dear God, it was everywhere… staining her suit, pouring buckets onto the concrete beneath her….blending into every single one of her senses and blurring everything that she was into oblivion. Her vision swam with tears… huge dark spots danced around the corners of her eyeballs… Her ears were raw and sensitive to every sound, split and ringing with the strong possibility that they might be fading…bleeding along with everything else vulnerable and exposed in her body. Her mouth was bone dry…her tongue like sandpaper against the edges of her crack lips. She tried swallowing some of her own salvia to cancel out the large amounts of blood that were beginning to spill out the side of her mouth, but to no avail…She just ended up spitting out thick, black muck that was dangerously beginning to clog up her throat.
In fact, her mouth was devoid of all liquids but the tangy, cooper relish of the blood that was rapidly filling her mouth. Oh, God, this was the end. She knew with every droplet of blood that fell onto the ground below her that she was one step closer to death…and it was seriously starting to freak Daisy Johnson the fuck out.
But she had to keep her cool.
She couldn't give up….had to keep going…Didn't have a choice. Daisy had a mission she needed to complete. The address 2250 Chester Blvd kept chanting around wildly in her head, swirling like an unavoidable vortex that she couldn't—that she wouldn't want to— escape. She couldn't give up….she had to keep going…. She couldn't acknowledge the pain coursing through her entire being. It felt too much like admitting defeat… and she refused to just sit back and allow Ward to win this one. Daisy Johnson might be many things, but a quitter just wasn't one of them. There were three people, who had no idea just how close pure evil was to showing up on their doorstep and wreaking havoc on their lives all over again…people who were depending on her, unknowingly counting on her presence to be there and protect them from the big, bad wolf… but more importantly, an innocent little girl's future lay solely in her super-powered hands…and she didn't intend to fail that little girl…Daisy couldn't leave her to fend for herself against the unknown—against the mist! Not when she knew what it was like to be abandoned to fight against it all on your own…Not as long as she had two working legs and the grit to push on.
So Daisy sucked it up, stifling the animalistic scream that threatened to claw its way from her throat… desperately clenching her hand over the giant gash across her stomach so that her intensities wouldn't come spilling out onto the cement where most of her blood already lay…She locked away all the overwhelming pain and unadulterated rage boiling down deep within her…sweeping it away from the surface of her core…and, instead, she took it…used it…all that mounting agony building up in her soul and turned it around to her advantage…using it as the strength that she needed to fuel herself to push onward.
And on she went… with all the sorrow and willful defiance that would not lay down and give up that she could muster in her skin and bones. She couldn't handle letting down yet another person. She'd done that enough to last her for about ten lifetimes. Hell, it's about the only thing that Daisy had ever been taught by her father that she allowed herself to excel and be the best at…
"My sweet little Daisy," her father would whisper softly to her when he was going to say something he believed would upset her. His lyrical voice silk and soothing…but underscored with harsh and gritty melodies of reality against hot, aimless night. "Once people find out who…no, what you are… they'll want to use you…destroy you…so leave them, my dear… use and destroy them before they leave nothing left of you to pick off the ground to go on with… understand?"
She'd nod her seven-year-old head…not understanding, but wanting to make her father happy. Her forehead bloody, her body beaten, and her knuckles bruised from that day's survival training… and they would both leave it at that—or at least until Daisy fucked up by caring too much again.
"Because in this world—my sweet little Daisy—there are only a few things an inhuman really needs to know to survive: flee and scatter your enemy's ashes in your wake before they can yours… I trust inhumans even less than regular people…Your powers are the closest—and the only… true friend you'll ever have… Use, abandon, and spit people out before they can do the same to you."
Welcome to Daisy's dysfunctional way of learning how to cope with the crippling loneness that often came along with being an inhuman in this world! Man, would her father be so proud of her…! She had become exactly what he had taught—and always wanted—her to be, alone and invulnerable… impenetrable, emotionless—"I know it seems to you that I'm being mean…harsh…but I just want you safe, Daisy…It can't be like it used to…because you're not how you used to be…"
She shook her head…it didn't matter now. All of her fucked up intricacies had no place here. She wasn't about to let her skewed view of the world get in the way of her duty to these three people she swore to Phil Coulson on her heart and soul that she would protect with her very life if need be—and if things were heading where she thought they would, her life was exactly what it would take to keep her promise.
"Almost there…" Daisy breathed, her voice faint. Her mind was a whirlwind of one thing and one thing only—2250 Chester Blvd—and it was only a bit closer now. She could make it… all she had to do was just lock away the pain and push forward. She couldn't fail… there wasn't much time left. She had to make it…
All the signs of blood loss were rushing up to meet her…leaving her weak and breathless. Her battered chest was heaving…her breath coming out in pants due to the lack of air that was reaching her lungs. She was slowly beginning to choke on her own blood, leaving thin ropes of blood on the sidewalk beneath her feet… her legs wobbly and ready to give out at a moment's notice. Her usually limber feet were constantly stumbling over one another…her shoes scraping against the concrete as imbalance kept her clumsy and unable to cover her tracks as well as she should.
She coughed, roughly wiping away the blood from the corners of her lips. She knew by the rapid fire way in which she was deteriorating that Ward would have no problem finding her soon and finally finishing her off once and for all. She couldn't outrun him forever, not in the state she was currently in. She had overextended herself in their original confrontation, and now she was too weak for even her powers to work her way out of it. Plus, she was growing so tired…her unwavering faith crumbled along with the rest of the unsteady parts of her. Freedom seemed to be getting even further away from her with every single step she took… as well as her ability to stay conscious…. The ground eagerly waited to come up to meet her as the overwhelming tidal wave of nauseating black blood continued to—terrifyingly— build up in the back of her throat, taking away the rest of the air from her lungs and any remaining steam that she had left along with it.
"Fucking bastard!" she yelped out, as a sharp, agonizing pain shot up and down her spine, driving her violently down to her knees and eventually causing her to slam her face down onto the sidewalk below. Brand new blood filled up her mouth and nostrils before intermixing with the old, her hand loosening its tight grip around her wounded entrails…the edges of her eyesight growing even hazier as everything turned gray and black…the world around her constantly washing in and out of color and view… motions and images slowed down to a crawl as the adrenaline once pulsing through her veins wore off, bit by bit…and she ignored it all, pushing back the pain once again—scooping it out and tossing it aside for the final time— and caught her bearings. She didn't have time to falter now. She was almost there…
So Daisy kept trying… pushing herself up off the ground with all the strength that her blood slick fingers could handle, clawing weakly at the surface of the pavement below… seeking for any kind of leverage that she could hold onto. She laid both of her bloody hands flat out in front of her…wishing that her uncompliant limbs would be able to cooperate as much as heaven would allow…her movements growing sluggish…and eroded down by pain and exhaustion with every move she made…and with dawning realization—like a sharp, cold smack to the face—she knew that defeat was imminent…fast approaching…She was nearing the end of the road, beginning to tumble head first into the endlessly dark abyss of unconsciousness… a cool and invisible numbness washed over her… all of her aches and pains disappearing within its waves… her brain beginning to power down—fading…passing—shutting off…being taken away by the powerful undertow of the unknown. She was fading…passing over into the beyond…no longer able to keep her eyes wide and defiantly open in its potent wake.
Time to say her mental goodbyes—because it seemed like she had long driven past that fast train toward Failure Avenue and was now approaching the thin one-way ticket to death Street—to silently whisper her apologies into the still, midnight air…To feel everything that Daisy Johnson was blow away in the breeze of the night until there was nothing left but her sorrows and regrets staining the ground like bad blood.
She had failed…disappointed everyone she loved and who had believed in her—Coulson…May…Mack…Elena… Lincoln— she had failed three innocent people… because in the end, it would not be enough. Ward would get to them…would get to that child…and any future blood that bastard shed on his path would be on her cold, dead hands.
So, this is what is dying like? A bittersweet taste in your mouth that you couldn't get rid of…a freezing winter breeze that chills you down to the bone, Daisy thought with a murmur, reluctantly laying back onto the cold, hard ground…her entire body numbed from blood loss, her intestines finally spilling all over the pavement…her spirit washing away—fading—in defeat… Her tears were gone, all dried up…Her thoughts turned into a shutter-frame of snapshots passing through her faltering mind…passing—the rare Texas breeze of summer sweeping across her face as she swung from the swing set of her childhood, her mother singing beautiful Chinese hymns to her as her father smiled in the background…fading—Ward's face on the night she had met him all those years ago, her shirt and pants and underwear torn… lip split and knuckles bruised…his nose crooked and face splashed with the blood of others, but his smile was honest and his hand reached out to her with the purest of intentions… and she took it…passing—Coulson's sudden words to her as she held Lincoln's bloody, lifeless body in her arms, her face streaked with tears and blood… Coulson's words and sorrow swirling around in her atmosphere like impending death was now…"Go, Daisy! We'll hold off Ward as long as we can…There's nothing we can do for Lincoln except finish what he laid down his life for…Find them, Daisy…find her and save her…Do it for me…for Lincoln…" and she nodded her head, wiping the tears from her eyes as she laid Lincoln down onto the hard ground and got up to complete her mission…And she thought she would…until Ward found her…
She was so sorry—
"Ma'am!" A young man with an accent shouted…his footfalls were heavy and loud against the blacktop as he ran towards her, sliding violently onto the ground. He leaned close…his broad frame and soulful gray eyes swam in and out of her hazy field of view…his slim hands hovered hesitantly over her wounds… roaming… seeking… "Oh, God…" he moaned sadly, his voice broken and frightened… his enormous worry coming to her from thousands and thousands of miles away…fading…passing… His beautiful eyes filled with unshed tears with every frantic search he made…and Daisy desperately wished that she had the energy to reach out and comfort him. She didn't know which was worse—dying or being unable to comfort the man who would watch her take her last breath.
"I-I'm—" Daisy tried, but just ended up choking on her own tongue…and the blood that was endlessly flowing from the corners of her mouth now. She coughed violently and the man shushed her.
"It's okay…Don't talk…You'll just make it worse if you try to talk…" He whispered softly, running a tentative hand through her blood soaked hair…humming softly…sweetly…and she couldn't help but lean into his touch, not knowing just how desperately she had needed the human contact. How not dying alone would be such a mixed bag of emotions…She wanted this sweet young man to run… far away and fast, to forget the inhuman girl lying bleeding in the middle of the road….but…she also needed him close to abate the oncoming rush of fear and anguish… And it surprised her…that oncoming weight, the electric lightning blot coursing through her…It was bogging her already feeble body down into the bottom of the ocean like a sinking ship, waking her up and pulling her away from her shattered snapshot of memories…
And she wished for nothing more than to just let herself drown in it…but the young man's soothing voice shocked her back into reality…. It was as if she had heard one of the old Chinese hymns that her mother loved to sing after twelve years of it fading… passing… in intervals of the background of her mind's eye…but never really truly gone. God, she missed her mother…! She couldn't wait to see her again.
"Please, don't leave…" The man choked out brokenly, his breath coming out in hitches…his accent deep and raspy. "Stay….you'll be okay…I promise…" His hand came closer to her cheek in a stroking motion…wanting—desperately—to touch…to offer comfort…but—
"Fitz, don't touch her!" Another person with an accent—a woman…?—screamed, her feet racing… stomping the pavement next to the man leaning over her with such concern…and the man's hand jerked back as though Daisy's face was made of fire that could burn and sear the skin clean off his bones…His expression was still sad and desperate as he glanced in the direction of the woman's voice…but his gray eyes were filled with shame now, instead of his earlier steel cold resolve to save a bleeding girl…like he had almost forgotten… just for a moment.
"Jemma…" The man named Fitz bit out as the woman leaned down over Daisy…Her face eclipsed the man's almost entirely. Her pretty features twisted in fear and disgust…and all Daisy could think about as she peered down at her was that she was one of the most beautiful women she'd ever seen…and, at that, Daisy couldn't help the blood filled snort that came out of her mouth in a pant. The fucking irony…just like her to fall for a girl who clearly hates her guts without even knowing her…and while she's bleeding to death on the dirty road.
But then Daisy blinked, her brain, foggy with blood loss, finally registered the names floating around in the air like a blessing…Jemma…Fitz…as in Leopold and Jemma Fitz. Oh, sweet, merciful God! She felt that the heavy weight sitting on her soul was lifting just a little…the deep, agonizing cry that seemed to constantly be scratching at the surface finally dissipating like dry, humid air. She'd found them! Lincoln…Coulson…She found them…She hadn't failed them, Coulson…She hadn't failed…
"She's inhuman…" Jemma spat venomously a moment later, breaking into her grateful thoughts….Shocked once again in her fading light, Daisy was caught off guard by Jemma's clear distain. What? How? Oh, Ward…The symbol on her suit now smeared with blood…the mark that all inhumans are forced to wear.
"Jemma, she's dying…now's not the—"
"I don't—" Jemma started, but stopped when a young, dark haired little girl appeared next to her…The child's features mirrored that of the young man's earlier, but her tears were openly streaming down her unblemished face.
"Ma'am…" The little girl whimpered helplessly, pushing the woman back to make room for her to come over and hug Daisy fiercely…and Daisy hugged back weakly, tear welling in her eyes…Rose Fitz…oh, thank God, you'll be safe, you sweet little girl…
"Rose, go back in the house…" Fitz scolded. "It's not safe!"
"Mommy, please…please save her… She needs us…" The little girl said, her words muffled…watery… against Daisy's battered neck. Daisy's blood streaked across her right cheek as she looked up at her mother with wide, pleading eyes…and Daisy had to stop this…before her heart broke into a million pieces along with the rest of her. There was no saving her…only just enough time to warn and save them.
"W-w…" Daisy tried speaking again, but with the same result…only this time she tried to choke alone and in silence as Jemma Simmons stared at her beautiful daughter, her eyes finally sad and filled with tears…She wanted to give them as much ignorant bliss as she could before bursting their bubble—like it made much of a difference now…with her bleeding on the ground—but Fitz and Rose saw her struggle…and leaned closer.
"Rose…I can't…" Jemma gasped out, her voice hoarse and ragged…but it was Fitz's turn to interrupt.
"Be quiet! She's trying to say something…" Fitz said coldly.
"What?" Jemma asked…appearing stunned by her husband's coldness. He ignored her.
"What is it, darling? What'd you need to say?" He asked her softly, his hand now finally touching her cheek…not seeming to care that it was covered in blood or that she was inhuman. And Daisy knew that it was now or never. She didn't have any second chances. She wasn't about to let something as stupid—or as serious—as a little blood in the lungs stop her now.
"Ward…Ward…Ward…" Daisy said, her voice weak and broken…Ward's name falling from her lips as easily as it ever had…and she saw his eyes widen in understanding…knowing what she was trying to say, but that weakness wouldn't allow her to. He nodded, his gaze turning wild and unfocused as fear and protection took over… and she knew that she had done well in her final hour. Leopold Fitz would protect his family. She silently sighed in relief…She could rest peacefully now. She had done it…completed her mission…kept her promise. She hadn't failed…They would be safe. Her job was done.
So Daisy Johnson closed her eyes, allowing everything that she had feared take her over into a better place…a place when the hot morning, Texan breezes would blow every day and she wouldn't have to forget what it felt like to sit out in the open air and just breathe…Not watching as one state would blur into another in her mind's eyes…Finally having a place to call home…No longer running…where her father tinkered endlessly with the priceless artifacts he would find out on his digs in foreign countries—and now she would never have to worry that one day would be the day that he would bring home the very article that would change his precious little girl into a monster…messing up his whole life…She was going to a place where her mother would forever sing beautiful songs without missing a beat or tiring—because she would tire out…tire from having a freak for a daughter…for having a drill sergeant for a husband… she would tire of living from one crappy motel to another the scraps of hand-outs that people always wanted something for…She finally tired to the point that she would take a .22 to her brain pan and end it all…She would met up with Lincoln and they could constantly show off their powers— without fear of dying over it…An incredible location where you could know that someone will always love you the next day even if you were a little different…to live in peace within…to, hell, just live..
She closed her eyes…and hoped that was exactly what heaven would be.
TBC...