Dax gets stood up at the altar
It was the day of Dax' wedding. He decided to give Mira a second chance, after having freed her from her pendant prison. Dax was wearing his tuxedo, an orange getup from Didier Sash's. His best man, Theo, was wearing a purple tux. Theo, unlike Dax, was quite embarrassed over his tuxedo.
"Boy oh boy, Theo!"- says Dax- "I can't wait for the wedding!"
"Weird, no one's here yet,"-said Theo.
"Dude, the wedding isn't for, like, another hour,"-said Dax- "Give them some time!"
Meanwhile…
"Mack! Hurry up!"-says Rose- "We'll be late for the wedding!"
Ronny enters the house, holding a box.
"Hey guys, check it out!"-she says- "I got a new Nintendo Wii!!!"
"A Wii!!!???"-Mack hurries downstairs, and sits on the couch- "Shit, Ronny, plug it in!"
"Mack!?"-Rose says, infuriated- "Do we really have time for fun and games!?"
"Sure, Rose,"-Mack says- "There's ALWAYS time for fun and games! Come on, we playing Super Smash Brothers!"
Rose says- "Alright… I call Luigi!" She takes off her shoes, and sits down next to Mack.
Back at the church…
"Dude, the wedding's at half an hour"-says Theo- "Where IS everybody!?"
"Come on, Theo, give them time!"-says Dax- "I'm sure they'll be here any minute!"
"I'm just saying,"-says Theo- "It's quite rude of them not to have shown up by now."
"Dude, it IS a Sunday!"-says Dax- "They must be at Church!"
"Dax! WE'RE at the church!!!"-says Theo- "Look around you! Not even the priest is here!"
Where IS the priest???
At the park, Father Clement is eating an ice cream. He looks at his watch, and his eyes widen.
"Uh oh!"-he says- "I gotta go officiate that wedding!"
He gets up, cleans himself up, and begins to rush towards the church. However, he stops upon seeing a little boy.
"Why, hello little boy,"-says the priest, placing his arm around the little boy- "Have you been to church today?"
Back at the church…
"Dude, wedding is in FIVE MINUTES!!!"-Says Theo- "And no one is here!"
"Come on, dude,"-says Dax- "I'm sure everyone is rushing to get here! In fact, I bet the reason they aren't coming is… because in their rush to get there, they caused a traffic jam!"
Meanwhile…
Chip was driving along Melon Beach, on his way to the wedding.
"I'm making great timing,"-he says- "Oh! I gotta take a tinkle!"
He stops the car, and makes his way to the gas station's bathroom. He heads towards the urinal stall. Suddenly, a large monster pops out of the toilet!
"Oh my God!!!!"-says Chip, wetting himself. The monster roars, and gobbles him up. Unbeknownst to Chip, a camera was rolling, filming the whole thing. A logo pops up, and it reads: "TOTALLY HIDDEN PREDATOR!!!"
Also, at this time…
Will is walking past the Main Avenue, on his way to the wedding. He passes by an innocent looking mailbox. Suddenly, a large monster pops out of the mailbox!
"Oh my God!!!"-says Will- "It's the Totally Hidden Predator! Am I on TV!?"
Chris McLean steps into the camera shot and shakes Will's hand. He then says- "Bra, you just got caught by the Totally Hidden Predator! How do you feel?"
"I feel good Chris! I feel good!!!"-says Will, excitedly waving at the camera- "Dude, I so love this show! I never miss it!"
"And now… the Predator is gonna eat you!"-says Chris.
"Woo!!! I LOVE THIS SHOW!!!"-Says Will, as he gets devoured by the Predator.
Back at the church…
"No one is here yet…"-says Theo- "And the wedding starts TWELVE MINUTES AGO!!!!"
"Come on Theo!"-says Dax- "I'm sure they have a valid excuse for being late."
"Give me an example of a valid excuse!"-says Theo, steaming.
"Their clocks must be stuck in Puerto Rican Time!"-says Dax. Theo's eyes widen.
"That is just,"-says Theo- "So wrong. On so many levels."
At the beach…
Tyzonn and Xander were sunbathing.
"Dude, got the time?"-asks Xander- "I don't want to be late to the wedding."
"Yeah,"-Tyzonn replies- "It's noon."
"Dude! No way it can be noon!"-says Xander- "We had lunch, like, three hours ago!"
"Nope, it's noon,"-says Tyzonn, pointing to his watch.
"What the hell time is that watch set on!?"-asks Xander- "Cuz it's WRONG!"
"I set it on CPT"-replies Tyzonn.
"CPT?? The hell's that?"-asks Xander.
"Colored People Time"-replies Tyzonn, Xander's jaw drops.
"Oh! It's like THAT, huh!?"-says Ethan who just happened to walk by.
"It's like what?"-asks Tyzonn, confused.
"You know damn well like what, you RACIST!!!"-shouts Ethan, loud enough for everyone to hear- "RACISTS!! THESE GUYS ARE RACISTS!!!"
"Hey, you racists!"- screams out Joel- "Go back to the South! This is California!"
"Yeah!"-screams out Damon- "We we're having a good time till YOU showed up, you racists!"
"Hey, racists! Go back to your Klan rally!!!"-screams out Kira, throwing a Coke bottle at them.
"But… on my planet,"-says Tyzonn as the cops lock him and Xander in a jail cell- "Colored People Time means 'Five Daily One Hour Difference'. I didn't know it meant something else here on Earth…"
Back at the church…
"This,"-says Theo- "Sucks. So. Hard."
"Dude!"-says Dax- "Language! We're at a CHURCH, for God's sake!"
Meanwhile…
Nick and Madison were making love in their apartment.
"I feel like I forgot something,"-says Nick.
"Oh God, not the condom, right?"-asks Madison, stopping for a moment.
"Nope, I put it on,"-says Nick- "Whatever, I'm sure it wasn't important."
Madison continues riding Nick. Nick has his hands on her smooth thighs. Then he sits up. To keep this Story from going further than a T rating, that is all I'm willing to describe.
"Oh, Madie, this is so good!"-says Nick.
"Oh yeah,"-she replies- "I'm loving it!"
"Oh my God, someone's coming!"-Nick says.
"Who!?"-Madison says, panicking.
"!!!!!!!!"-says Nick, a look of ecstasy on his face- "Oh wow, that was so good."
"Yeah, whatever,"-says Madison, a disappointed look on her face. She gets up and leaves.
"Where are you going, sexy?"-says Nick, lying on his back, a satisfied look on his face.
"I'm going to the bathroom to finish the job,"-she replies. The look on his face… says it all.
Back at the church…
"Hey, I know they are coming,"-says Dax.
"How so?"-asks Theo.
"Because the only, ONLY person to tell us before hand that she was not coming was Vida,"-says Dax, a grin on his face.
Speaking of Vida…
"Bella, this,"-says Edward- "This is the skin of a killer!!!"
Edward Cullen sparkles in the sunlight, as Bella Swan touches his bare chest. Suddenly, a look of horror on her face.
"I'll take that,"-Vida cocks the gun- "As a confession."
BOOM!
Back at the church…
"Dude,"-says Theo- "They should have arrived by now. Everyone, including the priest and the BRIDE, is over an hour late!"
Over at the Pai Zhuq academy…
Lilly and Casey were drinking tea.
"When's the wedding?"-asks Casey.
"Tomorrow,"-Lilly replies.
"That's a relief,"-says Casey- "Thought it was yesterday."
Also, over at Jungle Karma Pizza…
"It's just that… he won't touch me! Sometimes, he won't even look at me!"-Udonna says in tears. Leanbow just sighs, rubbing his forehead.
"I am NOT a marriage counselor,"-says RJ- "I'm just a pizza man."
Back at the church…
"Hey, Theo?"-Dax has a sad look on his face- "No one's coming, huh?'
"Come on, Dax,"-Theo looks at him sympathetically- "We'll give them another hour, ok?"
Up above the clouds…
Dominic took Fran on a magic carpet ride.
"I can show you the world,"-Dominic sings to her- "A whole new world! A magical place you never knew! I can believe it's here! It's crystal clear! That I'm in a whole new world with you!"
"Hey kid,"-Daggeron says, flying beside him on Nick's Mystic Racer- "I'm taking that carpet back, before you butcher that song even more."
Back at the church…
"Hey Theo, guess what,"-says Dax.
"What?"-asks Theo.
"This sucks,"-says Dax. Theo agrees.
"I wonder what happened to Mira…"-Dax asks.
Two hours ago…
"Mira!"-Vypra calls out to the bride- "Stop! You're making a mistake!"
"Why Vypra!?"-she replies- "Why are you coming to me at this moment!?"
"To stop you! To keep you from making the biggest mistake of your life!"-says Vypra.
"How can you be so sure!?"-asks Mira, in tears.
"He doesn't love you like I do!"-says Vypra, as she gets on one knee- "I beg you. Don't marry him! Marry ME!!!"
"Okay!!!"-Mira says. Vypra kisses her, and takes her on the bus. Sitting on the far back of the bus, with forlorn faces, they think about what had just transpired.
"Somewhere, out there,"-Mesogog, who was sitting beside them, thought to himself- "A groom is crying his bleeding heart out."
Back at the Church…
"The hell with this…"-says Dax- "I'm going home."
"Me too,"-says Theo.
Dax goes back to his house. He pops his copy of Final Fantasy 13, and starts to play.
"The hell!?"-says Dax- "The power just went out!"
Just outside, Andrew Hartford has a satisfied grin on his face.
"So, no wedding invite for ME, eh?"-he says, a devious look on his face- "Tit for tat, Dax. Tit… for… TAT!!!!!!!!"
THE END!