Disclaimer: Harry Potter is not my property, and I'll probably never have enough money to even think about buying him.
"So, Lily, you like pancakes?"
Lily Evans, who had been contentedly working on her Transfiguration essay in the library, wrote a couple more words, before she looked up in surprise. "Excuse me?" she asked, twisting in her chair to face James Potter.
"I asked you if you liked pancakes," said James, just as calmly as he had the first time.
Lily's green eyes narrowed. "Are you kidding? What is this, some kind of weird joke?" Lily heard something and she moved her head quickly to see if she could hear again. There it was; a snigger. Lily's eyes narrowed even further. "Get away from me, Potter; I don't need this."
"But Lily –"
"I said, get away from me," repeated Lily, turning back to her essay.
"Fine." James turned on his heel and stalked out of the library.
Sirius Black, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew burst out of the quiet area a moment later. Sirius was guffawing.
"'So, Lily,'" said Sirius, imitating James, "'you like pancakes?'" He burst into laughter again and fell onto the ground.
James' mouth twisted into a smile and he gave his friend a gentle kick. "Get up, you git."
"We said that it wasn't gonna work," said Remus solemnly, pulling Sirius up off the ground.
James rolled his eyes. "I know! But you don't have to rub it in."
"'So, Lily, you like pancakes?'" said Sirius again, and he fell back down.
"Idiot," sighed James and the three of them walked away from Sirius.
"So, Evans, are you interested in pie?"
Lily blinked, and leaned back from where she had been proofreading her History of Magic essay in the common room this week. "What did you just say?" she asked, turning around slowly.
"I said, are you interested in pie?" asked James, a genuinely interested expression on his face.
Lily wrinkled her nose. "Is this anything like the pancake thing?" she asked. "Because if it is, just shove off, Potter."
"Lily, are you interested in pie?" asked James again, crouching down in order to get closer to her. "I'm just wondering if you are interested in –"
Lily gave James a quick shove to the shoulder and he toppled backwards from his crouching position. "I told you to shove off," she said, looking back down at her essay on the common room table.
"Ooh!!" chorused other students in the common room.
"Trouble in paradise!" one yelled out.
James narrowed his hazel eyes; he knew who that was. "Right, okay, you don't like pie. Fine." He got up off the floor, dusted himself off and walked straight into the crowd that were still watching. "Padfoot!" he cried, tackling his mate to the ground.
"Toffee, perhaps?"
Lily's quill froze in midair as she recognized the voice and the choice of conversation. She chose to ignore it, and continued to write down notes in her Charms class later that week.
"Evans? Toffee?"
"No," she hissed back through gritted teeth.
"No? Not toffee?"
"Not toffee!" cried Lily, quite loudly.
The class all turned their eyes to her.
"Ahem," said Lily, her eyes darting around the classroom nervously. "Sorry."
"What's wrong with toffee?"
"Leave. Me. Alone," Lily said in a low voice.
"But toffee is so –"
"Potter!" whispered Lily, turning around in her chair. "Why do you keep asking me these ridiculous questions about food? I, unlike someone I could mention, am trying to do work! Can't you conduct your surveys on someone else?"
James held up his hands in defeat and Lily turned back around.
"Ooh, touchy," whispered Sirius.
James elbowed him.
"How about cheesecake? Everyone likes cheesecake."
Lily's eyes became slits as she narrowed her eyes. She and a blonde-haired girl sat on the edge of the lake on Saturday. "Potter," she said testily, "I was in the middle of talking to someone."
"Sorry," said James, though it was obvious that he didn't mean it. "Now then, about cheesecake –"
"Potter, I don't like cheesecake. Will you leave me alone now?"
"But everyone likes cheesecake!" said James, stunned.
"Well, I don't!" cried Lily. Her friend was giving her an odd look. "Cheesecake is disgusting in my books."
"Cheesecake? Disgusting?" repeated James, his voice getting higher with shock. "It is not!"
"It makes me think of jelly!"
"And what's wrong with jelly?"
"It jiggles!"
"What's your problem with things that jiggle?"
Lily's friend had, meanwhile, been watching this conversation like an odd kind of tennis match, before she stood up slowly and walked away.
"I can't stand – No, Cornelia, wait!" Lily turned to glare at James. "See what you've done? Now Cornelia's run off… Cornelia!" Lily scrambled to her feet and took off after her.
"Well, she ticked off jelly for herself," said James, taking out a piece of parchment and making a mark on it.
"Does pudding make you excited?"
Lily heaved a heavy sigh and rolled over in her bed on Sunday morning. Then her eyes snapped open and she screamed in terror.
"Sorry!" said James, backing away from her bed. "I just wanted to know if –"
"Potter, you are just plain weird!" Lily cried, chucking pillow after pillow at him. James wondered for a moment where she was getting this seemingly endless supply.
"Why? How am I weird?"
Lily tilted her head on its side, as if in thought. "Well, I dunno, maybe 'cause you snuck into my dormitory; and how you got up the stairs I'll never know; and then you whisper in my ear, 'Does pudding make you excited?' That doesn't seem weird to you?!"
James shrugged. "Seen weirder."
"Just get out!" shrieked Lily, pushing him towards the door with an ongoing barrage of pillows.
"Apple crumble. Do you like apple crumble?"
"No," said Lily shortly. She was getting used to these conversations now. She was sitting in the library again, doing her Potions homework on Tuesday afternoon.
"How about rhubarb crumble?"
"No," said Lily, more firmly this time.
"Apricot crumble?"
Lily's eyes narrowed and her temper rose. "No."
"Peach crumble?"
"No."
"How about apple and rhubarb?"
Lily twisted around in her seat. "No! I don't like crumbles!"
"What's wrong with crumbles?"
"What's right with them?" asked Lily, crossing out what she had just written which happened to be apple crumble.
"I can tell you're in a mood," said James, standing up. "Is it that time of the month?"
Lily let out a long breath. Then she picked up the heavy textbook she had been using and whacked James Potter 'round the head.
"Miss Evans! What on earth have you –" Madam Pince stared at James Potter's lifeless body on the ground. "Out!" she shrieked, covering her mouth. "Out, out, out! And take that thing with you!"
Lily sighed, put her things into her bag, slung her bag over her shoulder, grabbed one of James' legs and dragged him to the Hospital Wing.
"Do you have any major problems with bread and butter pudding?"
Lily rolled her eyes late on Thursday night. She was sitting in the common room and in the middle of writing a letter to her parents. "Oh, just the fact that it has sultanas might be a little disgusting."
"Sultanas," repeated James. "For Merlin's sake, what's the matter with sultanas?"
"I don't particularly like food with fruit in it," said Lily, coolly continuing to write her letter.
"That explains the crumble thing."
"Yes, it does. Now, would you leave me alone?"
"Oh, yes, of course," said James, backing away and clutching his head. "I've taken enough damage from you, thank you very much."
"You're welcome," said Lily sweetly.
"What about chocolate mudcake?"
"Mudcake," repeated Lily, looking up from the book she had been reading early Saturday morning. "Hmm… I don't really like it."
"Really?" said James, bobbing in midair.
"Potter!" cried Lily. "You're in the middle of a freaking Quidditch game and you're asking me if I like mudcake?!"
James rolled his eyes. "Don't worry, we'll win anyway."
"Potter! You should at least be attempting to play!"
James shrugged. "It's just Hufflepuff. What could they possibly do to –"
A Bludger whizzed past James' ear.
"Ooh, that was a close one," said James, swinging his broom around. "Get 'em Patrick!" he yelled at one of Gryffindor's Beaters. He turned back to Lily for a moment. "So, no for the mudcake?"
Lily shook her head slowly. Then her eyes widened. "Duck Potter!" she yelled.
James had already seen something else just before she yelled, and he dived to the ground.
"God, he gets on my nerves," she muttered, looking back down at her book.
"Please say you like ice cream."
Lily looked up, her eyes wide. "Ice cream?" she repeated longingly on Saturday night. She sat in the common room, neatly curled up on the couch and reading.
James sat on the ground in front of her. "You like ice cream?"
Lily sighed; a yearning sigh and she leaned back happily. "Oh, ice cream…"
James grinned at her. "So, it's ice cream right?"
Lily sighed dreamily again. "Ice cream…"
James was smiling as he headed out of the common room and down to the kitchens.
"'So, Lily, you like pancakes?'" imitated Sirius as James came inside.
James punched him on the arm. "Shut up, Padfoot," he told him. "Lily likes ice cream."
The others stared at him blankly.
"Iced… Cream?" repeated Sirius vacantly.
James smacked his own forehead. "Are you stupid? Ice cream, the cold stuff we have for dessert rather rarely."
"Iced… Cream?" Sirius said again, just as vacantly.
"Idiots," muttered James, turning to talk to a house-elf.
"Happy birthday, Lily!"
Lily looked up from her breakfast on Sunday morning. She thought it was gonna be another average birthday, but when she saw James she was a little shocked, to say the least.
Not to mention he was also holding an extremely large bowl of ice cream.
"This is a dream, isn't it?" she said, reaching out for the bowl.
James smiled. "Not at all. And you know what else? This bowl can stay cold if you don't feel like eating the ice cream now, and it never gets empty."
"Oh, now you're kidding," said Lily, her face pink with sheer delight.
James shook his head, still smiling, as he placed the bowl in front of her.
Lily looked up at him and her green eyes met his hazel ones. She suddenly jumped up from her seat and hugged him around the neck.
"You're not so bad after all," she whispered.
She sat back down, a fair bit pinker than before and grinned at James.
He grinned back and sat beside her as Lily handed him a spoon.
I hope you liked it. This came about because I was stuck on the story I was writing for my English assignment. I was a bit hungry too. :D