Come Around Sundown

Author: Rochelle B aka Achraya

Rating: Tish. Maybe M, but only on sites that allow such things.

Characters: Male!Jedi Guardian, Kira Carson, Doc, Male!Jedi Sage, and mentions of others.

Timeline/Planet: Tython, after Act I.

Warnings: Slash aka homosexuality. As always I will not judge those who back the hell out and choose not to read. After all, judging is wrong.

Notes: This gonna be Male!JK/Doc. I am in no way shape or form implying that I think Doc is gay, so you know. Relax. I'm simply exploring, in the context of this story, the possibility that Doc could have a personality where the gender of his partner is less important that who that person is. Doc will still be very much the mildly sleazy skirt chaser we all know and love.

Summary: Jedi Maze Xzen wants to live by the Jedi Code and purge himself of all emotion in order to do so. But when he takes on Doc, a man driven by emotion, as part of his crew complications arise.

Chapter One

I Won't Ever (Be your cornerstone)

His hands were covered in blood. He stood in the refresher, scrubbing frantically at the his hands: the soap was streaked with red and the sink was stained with it. Water ran over but, no matter how hard he tried, his hands were still drenched in blood. His eyes burned with tears and bile rose in his throat, but still he rubbed frantically at his skin. It hurt now and he could feel the skin beginning to crack with the force of his actions, but he couldn't stop. He had to clean himself, had to get rid of the taint on him.

He sobbed, legs giving out and slumping forward. He held his hands up to his face, taking in the peeled away skin and exposed muscle but feeling no pain. He needed to get back to this feet, to rid himself of the taint that was on him, but his body refused to move. It was like he was trapped in it, trapped in the blood streaked shell.

One hand came to rest on the floor, palm down, and he swallowed thickly as he watched the other hand grab onto one of the ribbons of destroyed skin. He pulled, slowly stripping the flap away then dropping it to the side. He grabbed another bit of skin, unable to stop himself. If he couldn't clean it, he'd have to get rid of the skin at all costs. He couldn't live like this anymore, couldn't-

Maze jerked awake, breath caught in his throat and sweat plastering his sheets to his skin. He looked around, eyesight hazy with tears that even in sleep he refused to shed, before finally focusing on the two faces hovering above him.

Kira Carson, his padawan, was staring down at him, face a mask of worry. She had a hand on his shoulder, probably in order to shake him from his nightmare. Tymar Chraya, long time friend and fellow Jedi, was at the end of his bed, frowning slightly.

Maze hauled himself into a sitting position, sending Kira scrambling back out of his personal space. His sheets pooled around his waist, exposing his bare chest. The redheaded woman squeaked, face going red, and turned to face the wall. He laughed, amused in spite of himself.

"M-Master! I'm...Jedi Chraya wanted to see you but you weren't answering your holo and I was worried and-"

"Kira. It's fine." He held up a hand, not that she could see it, as if to physically stop the frantic flow of words. His padawan let out a pained breathe then nodded, still refusing to turn back around. "Why don't you see what's going on with the Council?"

She nodded and, with a hasty goodbye to Tymar, ran from the room. Tymar watched her go, feeling a flicker of amusement at her antics in spite of himself.

"Your padawan has a crush on you." Tymar noted, dark purple eyes bright with laughter.

Maze ran a hand through his shaggy brown hair, cringing at the wet sweaty mess. At the moment the idea that someone could have a crush on him was absurd. He was average looking, in his opinion. Human, pale skin, dark brown hair that hit just below his ears, and pale gray eyes. He had scars over his left eye, three long raised lines that people assumed were from a tussle with an animal, and along the left side of his neck. He'd been self-conscious about the marks growing up but now he barely remembered they were there.

"It's hero worship more than anything, really. I've been trying to dissuade her, but she feels like I'm the only reason the council is even considering allowing her to be a Jedi."

It wasn't true of course. Kira had fought back the Emperor when he'd taken over her body; he'd helped but he was all too aware that if she hadn't been strong enough to fight as well that he would have had to kill her. The fight haunted him, as did the knowledge of how close to losing her he'd come, and the last thing he wanted was for Kira to admire him for it.

Maze also didn't want the girl to downplay her own strength or become too reliant on him. Kira had the potential for great things with or without him around.

Tymar's lips pulled up slightly. "She's cute."

Maze glared at his friend. "She's too young for you Ty."

"But just right for you?" The Mirialan waggled his eyebrows in a very un-Jedi like manner. Maze's glare just intensified, even as he tried to push away the protective feelings surging to the forefront.

Kira was like the little sisters he'd left behind; he loved her like family even though he shouldn't have and wanted to keep her from all harm, which very much included Tymar. When they'd been younger, before the Mirialan had intensified his studies in the healing arts, he'd been known among the other potentials as a heart breaker. He'd been able to draw in those around him with just a look and sway people to his side easily; a natural borne diplomat. Worse that all that Tymar had been prideful and dangerous, assured of his power and far ahead of those around him in his studies, and often just shy of leading others away from their teachings with his desires.

Physical relationships among potentials were strictly frowned upon and more than once Maze had found himself pulled into Tymar's misdeeds, running interference with the masters or soothing a distraught conquest. He'd wanted to stay out of, to focus on his own studies, but Tymar had always been hard to say no to.

Girls had mooned over him, risking their futures to be with him, and Maze had been no better.

They'd gotten older, and maybe a little smarter, and Tymar's father passed away. Master Chraya had been on a diplomatic mission with an independent colony that was also being sought by the Empire, and his transport ship had 'mysteriously' been destroyed. After that Tymar had changed, becoming withdrawn and quiet. His studies had become all that mattered to him and the 'bad boy' Mirialan become not just a prize student but the picture of the Jedi Code. No passion, no emotion, no ignorance; only peace.

Maze had followed Tymar's lead as best he could. He wasn't as naturally smart as his friend and his father had been a moisture farmer, not a Jedi Master, so he hadn't been brought up learning how to use his power; it had been harder for him to excel but he'd managed it. They'd both come to Tython eventually and then struck out from the planet, both working in their own ways against the Sith and the Empire.

They kept in contact, speaking often through holocalls, and Maze had begun to notice a shift in his friend. The stoic man was beginning to fall away and morph back into the brash, slightly smug, teenager Maze had grown up beside.

Maze could relate, in his own way. The world outside of the temple and the things they had to do were...unexpected. He'd always known that a Jedi had to be ready to fight and even kill in the defense of others and that sometimes sacrifice would be needed, but to actually hold life or death in his hands...he couldn't say he wasn't changed.

He'd had nightmares since the first night on Tython. The images of flesh raiders, brutal savage creatures, dying under his blade tormented him. He'd woken up screaming, disturbing those in the dorm with him, and been escorted to see a healer before meditating the rest of the night away. Meditation helped, some, and so he did it daily to try and keep his monsters at bay, but things were only getting worse.

Gang members, Sand People, soldiers, and even pirates fell before him and it all chipped away at him. He knew that there was no other way, that some people simply wouldn't be reasoned with, but at the same time he'd never thought his future as a Jedi would be so...blood soaked or unclear.

Even Kira, his padawan, threatened everything he'd thought he'd known. She was an Imperial, albeit one who'd fled from the Emperor's grasp, and a Child of the aforementioned Emperor. All her life he'd been lurking inside, waiting, and it was terrifying to think she'd been on the ship, sleeping just two rooms away.

He wanted to believe in her, and had told the Council that he did, but inside he was confused and tortured. Was she truly free, her own woman, and able to truly embrace what it was to be Jedi or was she doomed to fall prey to the life she'd been born into?

All of that was without mentioning her apparent 'crush'. He loved Kira, truly, but not in that manner. He was doubtful he'd ever think of a woman in that manner, let alone one who was supposed to be his student, but he wasn't sure how to tell her that. She'd been through a lot, too much for one so young, and he didn't want to hurt her or cause a divide between them.

"You really aren't interested?" Tymar asked, once Maze had showered and dressed. The human blinked, taking a moment to realize his friend was picking up the earlier conversation where it had left off, and shook his head slowly. "Probably for the best. Sleeping with your padawan is probably not a good idea."

There were instances of just that having happened in Jedi history. Some ended well, others had gone badly. Relationships were frowned upon but some Jedi married and had children (Tymar's father being a perfect example). That was of course with permission from the Council, of course.

"I have no use for relationships Tymar, you know that." Maze smiled at the Mirialan mildly. "Not all of us seek to leave a trail of wanting women behind us."

Tymar arched an eyebrow loftily. "I have never, ever, left a woman wanting." He cracked a smile as Maze rolled his eyes in fond exasperation. "And I'm coming to think there may be some...merit in relationships. Random sex in every spaceport, no, but love and meaningful relationships. I don't think I could have come this far without Master Par in my corner, or my friends at my side, or my sisters being there for me."

Relationships, even meaningful ones, weren't the sort of thing Maze wanted to focus on. He had enough troubles as it was without adding in the complications of emotions or family thrown into the mix. He just wanted to be a good Jedi, to uphold the teachings he'd learned and helped those that needed help, and yet the longer he was away from the temple and dealing with 'Real Life' the further away he felt from who he wanted to be.

Besides, having friends was complicated enough, as Kira and Tymar constantly reminded him.

"How are your sisters?"

Maze had crossed paths with the Chraya sisters, Leta and Tial, a few times in the past two months. Leta was a Republic solider, the leader of a special forces unit, and Maze had liked her right away. She was calm and thoughtful, but not afraid to act and seemed to value the rules and her mission above all else. She made tough choices all of the time, but seemed unaffected by them; Maze envied that. Tial, on the other hand, was basically Tymar in a female body. A redhead with dark purple eyes that saw too much and a mouth that said entirely too much as well; she was ruled by whims and emotion and seemed to take delight in the fact she had looks that literally made men hurt themselves to get a second look.

"Tial is lying low for the time being. Leta is hard at work." Tymar was perched on the end of his bed, but began to pace the floor at the mention of his younger sisters. Maze knew how much he worried about them, and felt a little guilty about using them to change the conversation. "Tia wanted to meet up soon. You should come along, she likes you."

Maze refrained from expressing his first thought, which was that Tial seemed like she liked most men she met, and instead sat down to begin to pull his boots on. His room was a small sparse one, with a bed, a desk and chair, and a set of drawers. There was a small door that led to the refresher and another that led to the hallway. It wasn't much, but it was better than a dorm room with 21 other students.

"Did you visit your family when you were on Tatooine?"

"I refuse to dignify that with a response." Maze muttered, just managing to keep his tone even as his fingers stumbled over the straps on his boots. His family...Tymar, Kira, and T-7 were his family.

When he finished with his boots he looked up and found Tymar staring at him, eyes glowing gold. He scowled, throwing up barriers around his mind with brutal quickness, knowing that the sudden cutoff would pain his friend. It was something they'd all learned in case of capture by Sith; they had to be able to withstand not only torture but the mind tricks and invasions of Inquisitors. His shields were a little stronger than most could put together, but that was because Tymar (his usual partner when it came to practicing what they learned) was better at reading people than most.

Tymar winced, the barriers probably colliding with his mind rather rudely, then smiled it off. "Come spar with me. Might help you shake off that nightmare."

"I usually mediate." Maze said, tone wary. He and Tymar had sparred before, and it always ended up with someone (or both) needing to be patched up. Tymar was older and taller, with the advantage of natural Mirialan agility and reflexes on his side, but he wasn't generally one for hand to hand combat. Maze was bigger, more heavily muscled, and had the advantage of growing up on Tatooine and pure human stubbornness in his corner.

"Then change will be good for you."

Or change would ruin him. He didn't want to release his feelings about his dream with violence, even controlled mock violence. Who was to say how it would affect him or what it could make him do. What if he lost control? Hurting others came to him so easily it worried him; did he really want to fight when it wasn't necessary?

"How about this? You win, I'll won't say another word about anything. I win, and we get a drink and talk about what's wrong."

"I don't drink."

Tymar sighed, the look on his face implying that he was trying very hard to be patient. He crossed the distance between them and crouched in front of Maze, ignoring the way the human's eye went wide and nervous. A green hand, sporting a double triangle tattoo between the first and second knuckle of the middle finger, touched his shoulder and Ty's eyes softened in a way that made Maze's heart skip a beat.

Sometimes he was sure Tymar saw right through him, and had seen through him since the moment they'd meet 12 years ago. That he knew that Maze had spent many a night in the dorm's refresher, under a cold spray trying to think of anything except Tymar and that he often failed and had to resort to 'handling' the problem to sleep. That Maze had allowed Tymar to lead him around for years, just happy to be close to him even though it drove him insane to see him with those girls.

"Mazearil." Maze nodded halting, indicating that he was listening. "You don't drink. You don't eat meat because you don't like the idea of eating potentially sentient beings. You read history books that weight more than small children to 'unwind' and you've worked out every other day, in the same damn routine, for the past 7 years. You've never had sex, or even held hands with someone who wasn't me. I'm fairly sure you don't even masturbate."

On the other hand maybe Ty was in fact totally in the dark. "I'm not sure this is totally appropriate-"

"You're going to go insane if you don't allow yourself a little pleasure every now and then. You adhere so rigidly to the rules that I'm afraid you're going to break."

Tymar's dark purple eyes were full of worry and sincerity and Maze could feel himself start to crack. Sithspit, but he'd never been able to deny his friend anything. Tymar was his one weakness, the thing that kept him from achieving the purge of emotions he longed for.

That's what he told himself anyway.

"Fine. Lets go."

He'd never be the man he wanted at this rate.

0000000000

Tymar Chraya: Tie-Mar Cray-Ah

Tial: Tee-All

Mazearil Xzen: May-Za-Real Ex-Zen

Maze: Is pronounced like Maze.