In A World of Pokemon:
It's a Hard Life
I was walking home from the grocery store being the happiest Pikachu ever when… "Pikachu! I choose you!"
"Fuck." I said… I had been zapped into another battle just great… "Douche." I said to my stupid "trainer"… Good thing it all came out like "Pika, Pika." Sitting across from me was some fat ass Snorlax. Somebody has been eating WAY too many Snorlax-Cookies. We battled it out and I almost DIED… How would the idiot humans feel if we made them fight for our entertainment? Yeah! Not so good, HUH?
Well anyways, after I was zapped back into my PokeBall I had to pick up the stupid mess and continue my day hoping that I wouldn't get called up again. Sadly I'm the trainer's favorite Pokemon and he only uses me. Damn, Pokemon life is harder than you think! If you think it's not so bad when you die guess what you're going to be reincarnated into? Yeah that's right. Reincarnation is real! Deal with it… Okay I'm getting off track again. So I picked up all my stuff and went home. My home is nice and cozy. I have all of my children and my helpful wife.
After I got home I was able to just rest and get charged up for the next battle. The worst part about being a Pokemon is that everybody is always popping up everywhere. I was lying down on my bed when my wife popped up and basically gave me a heart attack. "Jesus Sharon, you almost gave me a heart attack!"
"Sorry," She said helplessly, "I can't control where I end up…"
I felt kind of bad. I know she was probably even more stressed than I was, but she is always stays so calm.
I sometimes just wished that I could end the human race for good.
But how? How?