Title : American Dream Birthday
Summary : On one unfortunate birthday, Allen L. Jones finds himself to be in a slump. It was childish to get sensitive about people forgetting your birthday but who the hell misses the 4th of July?! As he drinks his pains away, he makes a wish in hopes for a happier life and wakes up the next day to find out that he's crossed worlds and is living with his cheerful counterpart.
Warnings : Swearing and possible sensitive material.
Additional Notes : THIS IS NOT A FIC WHERE THE 2P AND THE 1P SWITCH BODIES. Also I will not be doing any Americest (2P x 1P Ame) in this fic.
CHAPTER 01: Birthdays are for Losers
What kind of asshole forgets the 4th of fucking July?
Allen groaned and clacked his near empty glass on the bar's countertop. Today was a shit day— sure, most days were shit days but this one took the fucking cake. It was the 4th of July, AKA his birthday. He had woken up with a sense of pride and a knowing that he'd be showered in lame gifts and praise, but unfortunately, the opposite had happened. No one had paid any attention to him and the only greeting he had gotten was from his only friend, Flavio Vargas (he had also gotten the snazziest looking handmade scarf from the guy). But other than him, Oliver didn't give a shit, Francois didn't give a shit, and fuck Nathaniel for not giving a shit.
It was always that dumb moose fucker who stole the spotlight. Nathaniel was practically better at him at most things. He was taller, more badass, and it was total bullshit that people swooned over him more. It also didn't help that his brother's birthday was like, three days before his, and because it was first, his was more remembered.
"Hey, bartender! Can youse get me another fuckin' uhh beer or somethin'?" The tan man asked as he pushed his cup towards a blinking bartender. "No ice this time."
"I suppose I can." The bartender shrugged before taking the glass. "Warning you, kid. This'll be your third drink, aright? Don't overdo yourself."
Red eyes rolled, "Yeah, yeah, whateves grandpa. Just get to it, wouldja?" He sighed and rested a hand on his cheek.
When the bartender refilled his glass, Allen immediately took it and chugged it down. Not the healthiest thing to do but it's not like he cared at the moment. Sure he was a big health junkie, but all his emotions were just getting to him. Did no one, save for a blondie Italian, really care about him at all? Like, he could totally die from alcohol poisoning and no one would care at all!
He laughed at his dark thoughts. Sure he was a bad boy, but he tried to not cross the line between 'punk rocker' and 'edgelord'. Allen was made up of cool, punk aesthetics that decorated him to look like a badass bad boy but because it was a common misconception for him to be seen as some sort of edgy psychopath, it was hard for him to get his point across at times. Especially to those happy go lucky counterparts they had!
Speaking of those happy go lucky counterparts, Allen couldn't help but wonder if the other him was doing alrigh— wait was he thinking?! Of course the other him was doing alright! Since his day was filled with nothing but negativity, he had nearly forgotten that he shared today with Alfred. If Allen had such a nonexistent birthday, then that only meant that the fatass had some sort of birthday extravaganza. Man, that sounded like a dream.
Porkchop had it good. The guy was practically made up of red, white, and blue sparklers. He was always grinning and playing around and man, being able to be so carefree was as realistic to Allen as Harry Potter. Allen would be lying if he said he wasn't jealous of Alfred but would never hope for something wack to happen like the two switching bodies for a day because wow, who'd want a life as miserable as Allen's? It may've looked liked he disliked Alfred but if it wasn't for that guy's existence, then Allen would've never existed.
Clack! Blinking, the tan skinned boy looked up to see that the bartender had refilled his glass with more beer. "Yo, you know I didn' ask for one, righ'?" He questioned, an eyebrow risen.
The guy from behind the counter shrugged, "Well kid, you were looking a bit emotional there. Even if you were bratty earlier, I do understand that some people like to drink away their problems so consider this one on the house." The old coot winked at him and Allen didn't know whether to be grateful or to shudder.
"Thanks…" He mumbled as he stared down into the amber colored liquid. 'Maybe if I cry a little, then all my other drinks will be free and I can walk away without spendin' a dime.' The auburnet sighed. 'Nah, that sounds pathetic.'
If there was anything that Allen could wish for, then beer only came in second. The thing he definitely craved was for a better life. It was a corny and embarrassing thought, but if no one cared for him, then waking up in a world where he could get someone to care for him would be all he ever wanted for his birthday. He didn't need Oliver's overly sweet birthday cupcakes or a half assed greeting from Francois, and he definitely didn't need to be socked by Nathaniel.
"Happy birthday, Al. May you wake up and have a better tomorrow." Lifting his glass in the air with a dumb grin, he held his drink up for a cheers and then drank it soon after.
After all, if he couldn't handle his problems, then he'd to drink the night away and wake up with a hangover.
Alfred had the best fucking party EVER.
Like sure, he's had a gajillion of other birthdays but last night took the cake! The party he had was totally rad and everyone had the times of their lives (save for Arthur who was always too sensitive for Alfred's special day). It was just so fun and festive, everything a 4th of July should be! There were fireworks, dancing, and even a cake that was taller than seven hims stacked on top of eachother! Oh sweet Lordie, that cake had tasted divine… Shame that some of his friends totally pussied out on eating it though. Like, what was their problem with a glowing cake anyways?
So when he was to wake up the next day, Alfred was sure that he'd have a great day since there was gonna be an afterparty and that he was totes gonna force everyone, even Arthur, to attend. However, when he woke up, something was different.
Like usual, the sun shined against his face and his alarm clock went off, but when he rolled over to ignore the loud beeps and sunlight, he wasn't facing the door. He was facing another person.
"GYYyyaYyyYAAaggGGGhHh!" Of course, his first instinct was to scream. Alfred remembered there being alcohol served at the party but he knew he didn't get drunk enough to bring another person into his room and possibly get frisky! That was Francis's job, not his!
"Ohh… Shhuuut uuup…" The person beside him grumbled, their voice being a tad bit too low to be female. Alfred paled. The blond was a virgin, something he hated to admit, and he wouldn't be able to live if people teased him for his first partner being male. Of course, since gay marriage was totally legal, there was nothing wrong with it— In fact, Alfred saw himself to be completely bisexual because hey, what's wrong with swinging both ways—
"Hhhhh… My head's achiiinng.. God.. Where am I..?" The person beside him had lifted his head from off the pillow and looked around with a drowsy expression. When Alfred caught sight of the stranger's face, he really lost it.
"Gyaaagghhhhhhhh! You!" The blue eyed male shot straight out of bed and pointed a finger accusingly at the person who he recognized to be his dreadful, fatshaming, second-player counterpart. "What the hell do you think you're doing here?!"
"Huhhh…" Alfred watched as the tan skinned version of himself blinked and stared at him. It didn't take long for the other to realise who he had been staring at and he soon mirrored Alfred's earlier actions of shooting right out of bed to scream. "Wh-What the fuck?! What the hell is this?! Why're you in my bedroom?!"
"Excuse you but this is my bedroom, not your's!" Argued the blond. Just what the hell was he doing in his bed?! There was no possible way his 2P self could be in his world unless something freaky was going on! Was this Arthur's shit idea of a gift or something?! Because if so, Alfred really had to yell at the Brit that the Revolutionary War was years ago. Quickly reaching for his bat that was leaned against the wall, he grabbed it and held it defensively. There was no knowing what Fatshamer McGee could do to him…
The auburn haired him looked panicked at the sight of Alfred wielding a bat. Looking for his own weapon only to find that he had none, he waved his hands frantically and looked at the other as if he were insane. "Yoyoyoyoyoyo, Porkchop. C-calm the fuck down! I dunno what the hell's going on! I just fuckin' woke up!"
What a shitty response. "Well! So did I!" Alfred retorted, his grip on the wooden weapon tightening. He pointed the bat right to the other America's face and offered him a threateningly cool glare. It was something he'd seen in a Japanese movie and being the hero, he totally had to try it on this villain! "You've got 30 seconds to explain yourself before I go TWD on you! Tell me, me, did you come here to fatshame me again?! Did you bring your evil friends along?!"
"What?! No! Dude! Would you just listen?! I told you that I've got no idea what's going on! All I remember is that I had like ten beers and that I got wasted and that Nat had to drag my ass home!" The other him was backed up against the wall, staring at him with an irritated look. Alfred also noted that past the pissy looking expression, the other seemed to be in a sort of fear. This caused him to blink and lower the bat.
"Wait seriously?" He asked, cocking his head and raising an eyebrow.
"Yeah seriously! Don't make me fuckin' repeat that!" The other him snapped.
"Then why are you like, here?"
"Bitch, I'm telling you that I don't fucking know!"
Alfred was left staring at him in shock. Was this guy being serious? Like, he said he was being serious but was this guy like being seriously uh… truthful. He didn't know whether to believe him or not, especially since he was evil and all that but that weird fear he noticed was oddly OOC. "You're telling the truth, right?"
"Of course I'm telling the fucking truth! I literally don't know why the hell I'm here so could you screw off with the questions already?!" The red eyed male was fuming. Was his counterpart always this pissy? "Ughh damn, my head's aching. If you're done bitching at me then I'm heading back to sleep."
"Huh? Wait, you can't sleep in my bed!"
"Shut up. We're the same person." The other him was already climbing back into his bed, "Besides, if I sleep some more, then I'll wake up and then just find out that all this shit was a dream, aight? Now shut it, fatso, and leave me alone."
Alfred frowned at the nickname, "My name's not fatso, you villain! It's Alfred!"
The other rolled his eyes, "Whatever. I'm no villain either. I'm Allen, in case your dumbass forgot my name too."
"Hey!"
Alfred was definitely going to have to call Arthur later and see what the hell the Brit could do about this wacky situation.
A/N:
Heya! S'Katsuki Bakugou, the main character of BNHA, back at it again with another Hetalia fic! I got this idea while eating breakfast and I just couldn't resist on writing it! Like, I love 2P America with all my heart so writing him gets me all excited! Also, I will be using Allen and other 2P names for the 2Ps rather than their generic ones (i.e: Nathaniel instead of Matthieu). On the other hand, I totally made another dimension hopping fic. Whoops~
Speaking of "another dimension hopping fic", I am fully aware that I'm also writing Highschool Misfit alongside this one and since I updated that a few days ago, I'm pretty sure I haven't forgotten it so don't worry if you were waiting for that one! Since I'm now juggling two stories, I might plan an update schedule so things are organized between said two stories?
Anyways, I hope you enjoyed the story thus far! Till next chapter!