Kingdom Hearts
Cat and Mouse
"Alright Yuffie, you can do it!" a girl with short black hair and mischievious eyes said eagerly, "Your ninja pride is at stake. Success is a must!" She pumped her arms in the hair, "Go Yuffie, Go Yuffie, you rock, you rock, you're a ninja, you're a ninja-"
"um…Yuffie…what are you doing?" A short red-haired girl asked.
Yuffie stopped in the middle of her dance and turned towards the other girl, "What does it look like I'm doing, Kairi? I'm doing the "Yuffie is great" pep cheer," like it was obvious. "Isn't this great! I'm finally doing something!"
Kairi sighed, "You've been editing."
Tsking her, Yuffie shook a finger, "but not reporting like the Super Ninja Yuffie should be doing."
Kairi gave her a skeptic look, "Super Ninja Yuffie?" Kairi shook her head, "Wait, don't tell me, you have a theme song and a uniform with tights and a cape."
Yuffie laughed, "Don't be silly." Kairi was relieved. "Ninjas don't wear capes." Well, for a moment at least. Kairi felt like slapping herself, "Moving on, you know what your article is on, right?"
"Yup!" Yuffie happily said, doing a little jig, "I just have to find out everything about the number one hottie on campus-"
"Glad to know you were paying some attention," Kairi dryly said.
"-from his favorite color and class to what brand of underwear he wears and what kind of shampoo he uses."
Kairi just stared at her, "I don't think you need to know that much."
"But this is the first real assignment Squally is trusting me with!" Yuffie whined.
Kairi put her hands on Yuffie's shoulders and stared into her face, "You know the only reason why Leon is giving you this assignment is because you begged him and threatened to tell Rinoa his middle name?"
Yuffie raised an eyebrow, "And?"
"…" Kairi sighed exasperately, "You know what, never mind, why do I associate with you?"
Yuffie smiled cheekily, "Because you love me!" she declared, throwing her arms around Kairi.
Kairi tried to breathe, "Yeah yeah, you'd better get on the assignment. Mr. Hottie number one is leaving." Yuffie jerked up and looked wildly around her, "Oh no! Target number one is leaving the premise! Alert! Alert!"
"Target number one?"
Yuffie had an evil look, "One out of many targets…"
Kairi felt a trail of sweat go down her spine, "You know what? I really don't want to know."
All traces of an evil aura disappeared in a moment, "Great! Bye bye!" Yuffie waved as she ran towards the exit.
Kairi just stared after her, "I've got to warn Sora."
"Target has been charted as a male with silver hair and ice blue eyes," Yuffie said as she spoke into her recorder. "Tendency to be an asshole, but that's apparently his charm and attraction as noted by interview with girls. OW!" Yuffie rubbed her leg, "Stupid tree," she muttered, "Trying to help the target I see! Well tree, feel the wrath of Super Ninja Yuffie!" She pulled out a shuriken and threw it at the tree. It hit …and then bounced of. "WHAT! My shuriken!" Yuffie picked it up and sweatdropped, "Oops…this is plastic." She looked down the road and dropped the plastic shuriken, "SHOOT! The target has managed to escape Super Ninja Yuffie! Leon is going to kill me!"
Riku felt something behind him secretly (well…not so secretly) watching his every move. Man, this person sucked at stalking. The stalker was obviously a girl from horrible disguise (her uniform with a bandana on her head covering her mouth…how ninja-like) to the occasional, "Ow!" to the " Leon is going to kill me!" Obviously this girl was from the paper trying to do an article on him. Strange, he thought, most reporters just walked up to him as asked questions. Ignoring her, he hid in a dark alleyway to lose her. The last thing he needed was this girl taking pictures of him naked or the worst of things, finding out the brand of shampoo he used. Inspiration hit him, he inwardly smirked, this would be interesting.
Yuffie looked around desperately, "Mou! How could I lose him so quickly!" She stomped the ground, ignoring the kids staring at her. "I'm Super Ninja Yuffie! No asshole, no matter how hot, is going to beat me!" She pondered for a moment, "I need to go to plan B!" She grinned evilly. All things good and pure beware.
The next day at school, Kairi met up with Yuffie at her locker. "So how's it going?" Kairi asked as she walked up to Yuffie and freaked out when Yuffie turned around, "Holy Light! Yuffie, what happened!" Yuffie stared, "It's not that bad is it?" Kairi raised an eyebrow, "You make Mr. Ansem look like a super model."
"Eww, that bad?" Yuffie turned back to the mirror and poked her face, once more hoping that it would fall of revealing her normal face.
Kairi stood next to Yuffie, wincing, "Umm…I hate to say this, but you look like constipated poodle that stood in front of an open oven and got burned and then went to put on pink lotion that never disappeared."
Yuffie pondered a moment then shrugged, "Better a constipated poodle than a bloated horse."
"Talked to Leon, didn't you?" Kairi said deadpanned.
Yuffie looked blandly back, "That obvious?"
Kairi shook her head, "Duh and I think we need to be concentrating on your face rather than what Leon said."
"You know someone who can fix this?" Yuffie asked pointing to what was her face.
Dragging Yuffie along, Kairi said, "Yup, you owe me soo many coffees."
"May I ask how you got in this condition?" A guy with pink hair asked. Yuffie inwardly shuddered at this. Was she really going to rely on this…guy to help her? She leaned slightly past him to look in the mirror. Well, glory to the pink-haired pansy man and his bugged hair master!
Yuffie looked evenly at Marluxia and answered, "I used a curling iron to make my hair curly, but then my hair burned and I tried a new face mask last night and had a allergic reaction to it and tried to cover it up with makeup." Larxene's eyebrows rose even higher, if it was possible, and gave Yuffie an even more amazed look. Yuffie raised an eyebrow back at Larxene, "What? No laughs?" Larxene smirked, "I would, if it wasn't so pitiful."
Yuffie frowned, "Haha," she turned to Marluxia, "So, can you fix it?"
Marluxia peered at Yuffie closely, "Depends."
Yuffie gestured to go on, when he didn't answer, she rolled her eyes, "On what?"
He shrugged, "If you do me a favor or not."
'Great. He wants to get paid,' Yuffie thought, "What's the favor?"
Marluxia leaned in and said slowly, "You be the maid of my friend for a day."
Yuffie gaped, "Are you kidding me!" But his response showed that he was totally serious.
Yuffie stammered, "What happens if your friend is a rapist and child molester?" gesturing at "your friend."
Larxene, rolled her eyes, "He's not a rapist," she said, "or a child molester. I think."
Yuffie said to the sky, "SHE THINKS!" Kairi who had been ignoring them to this point, punched Yuffie, "You don't have much option at this point."
Yuffie frowned and crossed her arms, "Yes, yes I do."
Kairi glanced at Maruluxia and Larxene, silently asking, "So, what are you going to do about it?"
Maruluxia put on an evil smile, "Are you sure you don't want to agree to our terms?"
"Yes."
He gestured to Larxene and she understood instantly. He turned back to Yuffie, "So you can handle a whole day with a face like that?"
"Yep."
"Then face this," and at this Larxene held a mirror in front of Yuffie's face. Yuffie screamed and cringed, "MY EYES! MY INNOCENT EYES!"
Larxene smirked even more.
"So? You still sticking to your decision?" Maruluxia asked.
"FINE! JUST FIX IT!" Yuffie was shuddering.
"Ok, just breathe. Look at me," Maruluxia said, trying to relax Yuffie. Yuffie slowly opened her eyes, wary of seeing her reflection again, and when relieved, faced Marluxia. Marluxia spoke slowly, like to a kindengardener, "Everything will be fine. Trust me. Repeat after me."
Yuffie breathed, "Everything will be fine," she sighed, "Whew, I feel better," and was calm, until, "AAAAAHHHH!"
Marluxia turned around, "Did you have to do that?" he asked Larxene, who was holding a mirror.
She shrugged, "What? It's fun." She looked at Yuffie, who was curled into a ball, "Do you want to try?" Kairi in the corner, sweatdropped. Maruluxia shook his head, "No thanks."
"Why am I doing this again?" Yuffie asked Kairi for the millionth time in that 10 minutes, according to Kairi's watch.
Kairi looked up from her textbook, "Because you made a fool of yourself and owe Marluxia for making you look human again."
"But he may be a rapist!" Yuffie wailed, pouting.
Rolling her eyes, Kairi replied, "Riku isn't a rapist." 'let's see how long it takes to connect with her brain,' Kairi thought.
"Of course, he may be a rap-" Yuffie stoped. Kairi could mentally hear, 'mentally computing…mentally analyzed' Yuffie grabbed Kairi by the arm, "Did you say Riku!"
She shrugged the arm off, "Yes, so?"
Yuffie was pacing now, "Why didn't you tell me earlier!"
"Because you're an idiot."
Yuffie teared up and hugged Kairi, who was cringing, "I love you!"
'Please, someone hit me now,' Kairi pleaded, as Yuffie was still hugging her.
2 hours later, Yuffie had the same thought. She was in a maid outfit, not just any maid outfit, a short French maid outfit. Annoying much?
"I'm thirsty," the asshole said, lounging on the chair. 'Why do girls think he's so hot? He's a complete asshole,' Yuffie thought. "Yes, Master Riku," twitching at the last part, "What would you like?"
Riku thought, this was funner than he thought. He looked over Yuffie, who was fuming at this point, tugging down her skirt. He had to thank Marluxia. "I want a coke." While Yuffie fumed back into the kitchen, he wondered if he should try to make her more mad. 'Nah, I shouldn't,' When Yuffie came back in with a drink, he smirked, 'I should.' He picked up the drink and looked closely at it, "Are you sure you didn't poison it?" He innerly grinned when he saw Yuffie grit her teeth, "Yes, I didn't poison it. If I did, you wouldn't be able to tell."
'Interesting girl.'
Riku decided to wait this out. If she could be this patient, he had all the time in the world.
He shrugged, "Well, I changed my mind. I don't want this, go get me a mocha," when Yuffie turned back to the kitchen, he pointed out, "From the café on
Tokyo Drive." Yuffie gaped, "But that's 2 miles away!"
"Yup, and I still expect it to be hot, by the time you get back," he looked down at his watch, "in 10 minutes."
Yuffie, muffled some of the curses that she wanted to scream and toss at his head.
Riku tilted his head innocently, "Did you say something, slave?" Smirking widely at the end.
Yuffie managed an semi-painful grin, "Nothing, master." She ran out the door, and when she got down the block, yelled out all the curses, ignoring people staring at her.
While Yuffie was on her "excursion," Riku leaned back and picked up the notebook that Yuffie was putting her observations in. Well, she was observant for one. Even though he tried to trick her, by pretending to like strawberries, she really saw that he hated them. Maybe he should ease up on her and just tell her. Nah, he wasn't that nice. He looked at his watch. She had 5 minutes left
She had five minutes left. She wouldn't make it in time. Even the fact that she was a Super Ninja, didn't even add to the fact that she could run a total of 4 miles in 5 minutes. The idiot took 5 minutes to decide to get a simple coffee. He was lucky that she didn't decide to use her ninja skills of her. Lucky for her the Mocha wasn't that cold. She could see his house from here. She might be able to make it by the skims of skin. 3…2..1.. "I MADE IT!" She looked up to see Riku looking at his watch, "Actually, you're late by 15 seconds." Yuffie teared up and burst into tears, "I HATE YOU!" Riku stared in shock. She glared at him, "YOU'RE A MEANNIE! I DON"T CARE ANYMORE!" She got up to leave, but fell back down, due to being tired. Riku didn't know how to deal with any crying girl and was afraid that she'd shatter or beat him up if he did anything, "umm…I'm sorry…" Yuffie punched him, "YOU'D BETTER BE SORRY!" more tears came out, "THIS WAS MY FIRST REAL ARTICLE AND I HAD TO GET SUCH AN ASSHOLE LIKE YOU!"
Riku was scrounging his mind for some kind of answer, "What do you want me to do!"
She gave him the most serious face ever, "Tell me everything, from what's your favorite color to your deepest darkest secret."
He frowned, "Wait, I'm-" he broke off when he started seeing tears come again, "FINE! Just stop crying!"
Yuffie sniffled, "Really?"
Riku ruffled his hair in agitation, "Yeah."
Three hours later, Yuffie left beaming and with Riku irritated. "Why do you need to know what type of boxers I wear?"
Yuffie gave him an innocent look, "Because I'm a reporter."
Realization hit Riku, he glared at her accusingly, "I just got played, didn't I?"
Yuffie just smiled and tilted her head, "I have no idea what you mean."
He rolled his eyes, "Whatever, just leave now."
She smirked and stunned him speechless by kissing him on the cheek, "Well, if it makes you feel any better, I think you're cute," and ran off.
Riku stared after her and smiled, "Well, that was strange."
--author's note--
I just randomly felt like writing this. I just love the combination of Yuffie with any cold guy.