Title: I Love My Job!
Author: Sita Seraph
Genre: Humor
Pairing: None
Rated: PG
Warning: UNBETAED!!! Duo is singing a poem…I guess that's warning enough, right…? That and it sucks…-.-
Dedicated to: Aya, because I'm glad she's still with us and I LOVE HER! *glomp* But I'm sorry this is so cheap. I did this in two hours…T_T
Duo was stuck doing the paperwork again. He hated 'the paperwork'. Loathed it right down to its little texty shoes. Paperwork should die and turn brown in hell, curling up into little puffs of black and then SPLAT! they're dust. JOY!
But, of course, there was no way to kill 'paperwork' because it was already dead from woodman who were PROBABLY in the same position Duo was in the past and went stark raving mad, taking up the profession of chopping trees that started this whole thing in the first place and sending the work to poor fools in a way too tiny desk aka Duo Maxwell.
So what does this said man do when he is forced into manual labor with a pencil his only weapon?
Revenge, of course.
Joy. ^_^
Duo Maxwell scooped the scene silently; making sure Lady Une was nowhere near him but more preferably, not in the room. Once he made sure that all the people in the desks surrounding him were hard at work and no officer was around that could seriously kick his ass, Duo got up on his chair, and put his hands on his hips.
"Ahem….AHEM…*intake*…
I LOVE MY JOB!"
All heads in the room swirled around to look at him.
"I love the pay! I love it more and more each day!"
Leaping off the chair, Duo pranced across his nearest victim, hugging the person walking by with stacks of folders in her arms.
"I love my boss; she's the best! I love her boss and all the rest!" Squeezing, he pranced away with a shove and all the documents went flying, leaving the shrieking woman behind as she jumped up and down to collect the floating papers. Die, papers, die.
Duo hugged the side of his desk, rubbing the steel surface as he looked around the room.
"I love my office and its location. I hate to have to go on vacation." Standing up, Duo waved over the stacks of papers scattered around his computer and small workspace. "I love my furniture, drab and gray, and piles of papers that grow each day!" Duo pranced over to the next desk that looked similar to his, throwing the papers over so he could sit down on the lower cabinets surrounding the sputtering man.
"I think my job is really swell, there's nothing else I love so well," Duo smiled in a sickeningly sweet voice, putting a hand over his heart and crossing his legs. Then he leaned close as if to share a secret with the staring elder man.
"I love to work among my peers, I love their leers and jeers and sneers." Duo smirked and gave quiet pat on the pasty cheek near his before slipping off and bouncing off to another's desk, scooping up another computer without hesitation, squeezing the screen to his chest.
"I love my computer and its software; I hug it often," Duo sang then saddened, "though it won't care." And he promptly dropped the said screen. "I love each program and every file, I'd love them more if they worked awhile!" Stopping for a moment on his song, he did a few quick kicks and stomps on the innocent piece of the computer – it might have been a good computer, but we shall never know.
Lady Une had wandered in then as she was passing by from her lunch, distracted by the overriding voice by the shrills and even laughter and applause from the usually quiet business room. She was, though, not surprised to see Duo doing the Irish jig upon one of the desks, cocking up his pants to let him move freely.
"I'm happy to be here. I am! I am!
I'm the happiest slave of the Firm, I am!" Duo leapt off the desk to another, scattering papers, shrieking people, and computers all over the room. He continued bouncing from one counter to another…until he saw Lady Une. He stilled, smiled cheekily, and scratched his chin almost in thought. And then he started pounding off the way he came as the guards Miss Une had ordered during Duo's astounding poem came through the door and after him.
"I love this work. I love these chores!
I love the meetings with deadly bores.
I love my job – I'll say it again!"
He stopped at his getaway as he ran out of desks and was backed up into a corner. He pointed at the men, smiling that crazy Maxwell smile, before he finished up as he was grabbed and yanked down.
"I even love those friendly men-
Those friendly men who've come today, in clean white coats to take me away!!!"
And that they did. Neither paper nor did the people of that office ever saw Duo again –
Basically because he got to be on duty with Heero Yuy for the rest of his years as a Preventer.
Owari.