Let me know if you enjoy this and want more, I'm working on editing the next chapter now, so it should be up in a few days.
Katniss stood outside her door, hand clenched over the handle. Her teeth came together as she tried to push them away. She can do this. Happy place. Happy place. Happy place. No, she can't.
With a cry of angst, she slid down the wall and landed in a puddle on the floor. She didn't know how long she was there. Probably a few minutes. A noise told her a door down the hall opened and she looked over to see who it was. Her vision was swimming. Her eyes caught movement but nothing else before she slipped under.
When she came to, Katniss was on her bed, and she looked around the room. The shoes she'd been wearing were set neatly on the floor next to her closet and the purse she was carrying was on a chair next to her bed, with her jacket hooked neatly over the chair's back. A glass of water and a couple of Advils were on the nightstand along with a piece of paper. She took the painkillers and looked at the note.
Call me when you wake up so I know you're okay :)
Peeta Mellark from down the hall
Peeta Mellark. She looked at the phone number written below his name. She owed him a call for helping her out. She looked around for her phone, remembering it hitting the carpet outside when she fell. She found plugged into the wall nearby, charging; she tapped in Peeta's phone number.
He answered on the second ring.
"Hello?"
"Hi, this is Katniss.. Everdeen." She added, realizing he didn't know her name. "I think you helped me out of the hallway? This is Peeta right?"
"Oh, you woke up, good, do you need anything? I wasn't sure what was wrong but it looked like you just passed out so I didn't call a doctor."
"I'm okay. Well, not okay but I'm healthy. Thanks for your help."
"Of course. Actually I was just pulling a couple loaves of bread out of the oven, can I bring one over and make you some toast?"
"You don't have to take care of me, Mr. Mellark, I haven't even met you, it's-"
"I can't eat both loaves by myself, you'd be doing me a favor by taking one so I don't have to find someone else to take it." He paused, "Please don't call me Mr. Mellark, that makes me feel old."
"Um... okay, Peeta. And that sounds really nice, go ahead and come over."
"Okay, be right there." She could hear the smile in his voice. They said goodbye and hung up.
Peeta Mellark. From down the hall. She hasn't really noticed her neighbors; no matter how long she lived in an apartment complex, she never really was a people person, and she kept to herself.
Her thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door. She swung her legs off the bed and let Peeta in.
"Hey." He was a few inches taller than her, and his blond hair was wavy and fell to just above his eyebrows. His eyes were bright and blue, and very sweet. He smiled.
"Hi, Peeta, I'm guessing?"
"Yeah, so your name is Katniss?"
"Mhm, come in, thanks for everything." She wished she had a tidier space but he'd already seen it anyway so he didn't give it a second glance.
"So what happened, do you know why you passed out?" No, she can't tell a total stranger the reason. But he did take care of her... He's very thoughtful, even plugged in her dying phone for her.
But he could be a psycho.
But he's a very nice psycho.
Okay. Not the whole story, just a little information.
"Yeah, it happens every now and then. I... Lost my dad several years ago and we were really close. I lost my little sister last month. I raised her so it was really hard on me. Bad few years. Severe depression." His big blue eyes filled with understanding and comfort.
"I lost my family five years ago, parents and two brothers. I'm just getting through depression too."
Her eyebrows went up a little.
"Ah, so you're just as broken as I am then..."
He laughed humorlessly once.
"Yeah, I guess so. Anyway. I'll start cutting some bread for toast, do you like tea?" Her eyes flitted down to rest on the brown paper bag he held, and a spicy sweet aroma filled the room as he walked into the next room. She didn't know if it was the bread or him.
"I love tea." He smiled again from the kitchen. She heard him filling her kettle before she followed him in.
"So, what do you do on quiet Sundays like this?" He turned to look at her while he took the golden loaf out if its bag.
"I was heading out to do some grocery shopping before..." She gestured to the hallway. He nodded.
"Do you think of shopping as a chore?"
She thought about that. She didn't give much consideration to whether or not she enjoyed shopping. She didn't particularly enjoy anything right now. But shopping seemed out of character for her, something she only did of need.
"Yeah, kinda. Not a fan of it. But it keeps my mind off of things and helps me to not starve so..." She inwardly grimaced, her words came out more sarcastic than she'd meant them to.
He smiled and nodded again, brushing off her apparent hostility.
"That's why I bake, keeps my mind off things, which is why I always end up with more than I need." He looked down at the bread he had cut four generous slices of.
"But sometimes it makes it worse, I lost them in a bakery fire. My middle brother and dad got out fast enough, but they went back in to find my oldest brother and mom. Didn't get out the second time." He ran his finger along the blade of the knife, brushing off the crumbs lingering there.
"But you got out."
He shook his head, "I wasn't there. That's the part that torments me the most is that I wasn't there when I should've burned up with them." His hand gripped the knife so hard that his knuckles flashed white before turning pink. She briefly wondered if he would go crazy and try to hurt her, realizing she'd let a complete stranger in her apartment. But he looked back at her again, his face back to normal, albeit a lot sadder than before.
"I see." Her voice was quiet and she wondered if he could hear what she said. She felt like she should share something about herself in light of his honesty. But she couldn't get the words out.
He dropped a couple slices of bread in her toaster. The kettle sang and he looked at her expectantly. She realized he didn't know where her tea bags or cups were. She pulled out a box of tea and handed it to him to get two bags out, while she looked for two mugs. She found an innocent blue one but the second was one Prim had painted for her for Christmas the last year. She decided to use it anyway.
When Peeta had poured the tea and buttered the bread, they brought their food to the living room couch. She curled up in one corner and he sat half a cushion over from her. She smiled at him,
"Try your tea, this is my favorite."
He took a sip as she dropped two sugar cubes in hers.
"It's great, I see why you like it." She took a bite of her toast.
"Peeta... This bread is so good..." He beamed with pride.
"Glad you like it." He said softly.
"I haven't had homemade bread in years, I can't bake to save my life so I just buy it from the store."
"Well I love baking, so anytime you want something fresh... I'm only three doors down." He winked.
"Very sweet of you, Peeta. What do you do for a living?" She drank her own tea, masking the jab of pain caused by seeing 'with love from Prim' painted neatly onto the lower edge of her mug. She focused on what Peeta was saying.
"I work at the bakery downtown now, I'm hoping one day to either open my own or make it as an painter. So far no progress on either..."
"True artists aren't really appreciated at first. I'm sure you're very good."
"Thanks, maybe once I'm dead people will like my artwork..." He chuckled quietly. "What do you do?"
"I work as a voice teacher in the city for now."
"You like singing?"
"Yeah. My dad taught me when I was little. His voice was beautiful."
Peeta smiled at her words but then he blushed a little.
"What?"
"I was listening to you sing through the door when I came home the other day. It was lovely. I wanted to hear the rest of the song so I sat outside your apartment but you stopped a couple minutes later, and I got the heck out of there so you didn't think I was a creepy stalker..." He looked down, swirling his tea, faint pink feathering the skin from his neck to his cheeks. She didn't know what to make of his statement. He didn't seem surprised to hear that she sang.
"Oh."
He looked back up, waiting for her response.
"I'm sorry if that's weird..."
"No! No, I'm flattered.. It just surprised me, I didn't realize I could be heard from outside..." She thought about her next words. "That day I was singing because it was Prim - my sister's - birthday. I knew she couldn't hear me from where she is now... But I think she would have liked to know I sang for her. She was turning 19." She felt a tear form in her eye and she ran her pinky over the painted words on her cup. He reached his arm out to rub her shoulders.
"I'm sure she would've been honored."
Katniss nodded, smashing her lips together to try to hold off the tears. Peeta slid closer, putting both their teacups on the coffee table in front of them, admiring Prim's handiwork as he took it gently from her sister, and wrapped her up in his warm arms. Two tears slipped out of her eyes and made little pats as they fell on his shirt.
"My brother's birthday is next week... I know what it feels like." His whisper ghosted over her neck as he rubbed her arms soothingly.
"Thanks, Peeta."
His phone buzzed on the table. He didn't move.
"Go ahead and answer it if you want, I'm okay." She sniffled and hastily wiped her cheeks of any moisture left there.
He reached over to pick it up and while he spoke, he didn't stop rubbing Katniss's arm.
"Hi Delly."
Katniss could hear the female voice on the line, briefly wondering if this Delly girl would think Peeta was cheating on her. She moved to scoot away from him but he held her there on his lap.
"Peeta, I have a huge favor to ask, I'm going on a date on Tuesday with the guy I was telling you about..."
"Congratulations, sweetie, you got him after all." She could hear Delly giggle nervously. So they weren't together..
"And... I told him I would get a couple of my friends to double with us... And I realized you're the only one who hasn't been through a bad breakup in the last six months so... Could you please help me out?"
"What about that girl you hang out with?"
"Lorra? She's out of town, and she dumped her boyfriend last week. I'll get you a date and everything, Peeta, I just need you to show up and punch him in the nose if he's a jerk..."
"I don't know, Delly..." He looked down at Katniss as Delly babbled on and pleaded from the other line. He whispered to her.
"Would you like to help her out?" His smile was genuine and his eyes were hopeful. She nodded and smiled at him. He grinned back, waiting for Delly to take a breath and pause.
"Okay, I'll go with you but don't get me a date, I have one."
"Thank you Peeta! I can't wait to meet her!"
"Bye, Dells."
"Thank you!" She hung up and Peeta chuckled as he tossed his phone on the couch beside him.
"Delly and I grew up together, she always doubles on her first dates with anyone."
"Smart girl."
"Thanks for coming with me, Katniss, I appreciate it."
"You must be a great friend to have, I hope Delly knows that."
"She's always been there for me, we help each other out when we need it."
"She sounds nice too."
"Yeah, she is."
"She didn't say where we're going..."
"She always goes to the Hob Grill."
"They have good food. I've known Greasy Sae, the cook, since I was little. She helped take care of my sister and me when my dad was gone. She's kind of like my grandmother."
"I've never met her, I don't go to the Hob usually. It's a little noisy for me, but I agree that the food is prime."
She closed her eyes. She felt very safe in his embrace. Peeta smelled like cinnamon and honey, probably from baking.
"I should let you get some sleep now, it's 9."
"Okay, I need to cook something for breakfast tomorrow before I go to bed." She spoke through a yawn.
"Do you like muffins?"
"I love muffins, I wish I could make them."
"I make a batch on Monday mornings so I can have them during the week, come over before you go to work tomorrow and join me for breakfast."
"Really? If your muffins are half as good as your bread..."
He laughed.
"Thanks, I grew up in a bakery and that's literally my job."
"Well I'll be there at 7ish?"
"7ish sounds good, I leave for work at 8."
"Thanks, I'm looking forward to breakfast for a change." They both stood and started for the door.
"Nice to meet you, Katniss, see you in the morning." He pulled her close and wrapped her in a hug.
"Thanks Peeta." And she waited as he walked down the hall, picking up on an odd clicking sound before shutting her door with a smile.
That night, her nightmares stayed at bay and she dreamed of the blond sleeping three doors down. In her dream, they were having a picnic on hills made of muffins and the basket in between them held cookies, breads and cakes, but the sweetest thing there was the flaxen haired, blue eyed man in front of her.
She woke up and looked around her, disappointed that her room was dark and very unlike the sunny muffin hills she'd left behind. She shoved her feet in fuzzy slippers. She was brushing her hair out when she remembered that she was eating breakfast with Peeta at 7. She glanced at her phone. It was 6:34. She finished with her hair, tying it in an elastic, and pulling out a couple strands from her braid. She put on her usual earthy toned clothes, picking out an olive green t-shirt and a pair of dark jeans. She put on the necklace with the bird she'd worn for years, a gift from her friend Madge. After applying some pinkish Chapstick and a healthy coat of mascara, she deemed herself presentable and unplugged her phone, sticking it in her back pocket. By then it was 6:47 and she went into the living room to read a book a student had been raving about. When she next looked at the time, it was 7:12, and she hastily stuck a bookmark in and pulled on her ankle boots. She took a breath and knocked on Peeta's door. When he opened it, he was smiling.
"Hey, I started to think you forgot about me. I'll start some tea if you want."
"Sorry I'm late, I got caught up in some reading."
He smiled back at her as he made his way to the kitchen, "That's okay, you said 7ish. I'm glad you chose me over the book." He winked at her and reached for the kettle.
She took a look around the space identical to hers. Same structure, very different.
"Your place is nice, you did these paintings?"
"Yeah, maybe one day I'll have an actual art studio to use. Do you like them?"
"Yes I do, they're extraordinary, really."
"Thanks, here's your tea." He looked pleased.
She took it and dropped a spoonful of sugar to sweeten it, noticing Peeta took his straight.
"So tell me about yourself, Katniss."
"Um, what do you want to know?"
"Let's start with what you like, what's your favorite color?"
"Green, my dad used to take me walking in the woods when I was a kid and I loved being surrounded by green. I never forget it. Yours?"
"Orange, like the sunset. Soft. It feels like a nice soft color, but warm." They sat quietly while they peeled the paper away from their soft buttery muffins.
"I had a dream I was on hills made of muffins last night... I was really looking forward to sinking my teeth into one." She left out the part that her dream-self was paying more attention to him than to his food. She took a bite. Her mouth was filled with warm fluffy muffin with still molten chocolate chips every so often. She looked at Peeta, who was curiously watching her.
"Mmmmm... So much fluffy." Her mouth was still full as she spoke and he chuckled. She noticed a flush of color creeping up his neck as she praised his work.
"Glad you like them." He took a bite of his. She swallowed another bite and looked up.
"Did you grow up here or move here recently?" She felt bad that she had no clue as to how long he's lived there.
"I've lived here most of my life, I grew up in the country that way," he pointed to his left, "and moved to the city during junior high. I moved around a lot, all over the country during high school years, and I moved in here about 4 years ago. How about you?"
"I lived way out in the country, kind of in a forest area, in a cabin, until my dad died. He was a forest ranger. My mom and Prim and I moved to the city so we'd be safer with more people around and less bears. I moved in here 2 years back."
"That's the first time you mentioned your mom," he noticed.
"Yeah... She's... More messed up than I am. I sent her to California to live with her sister the day after I turned 19, taking over as Prim's guardian. She died with my father, only her body is left and she's tried to leave that a few times too. I had a hard time looking after her, Prim and myself, working and doing school at the same time, and I neglected her most of the time, figuring she was able to take care of herself, but... I was wrong. She's getting better care with her sister." Peeta patted her hand.
"Thanks for telling me."
She smiled.
"So you like the outdoors?" He inquired, finally tasting his breakfast.
"Love it. I could live out there forever. Without even a house. I could probably sleep in trees. My dad also taught me to shoot a bow and arrow just in case. He taught me a few different defense methods for various types of attackers, mostly animal." She took another bite "Did you like the country?"
"I did, I liked the freedom, I would move back there if I had a reason, but right now it wouldn't be practical, since the bakery is here. Maybe I'll bring my family out there if I ever get married." She saw something flicker in his eyes for just a second.
"Do you want a family?"
"Yeah," he grinned, "I would love to come home to a bunch of kids and a wife. I'm a family man." She couldn't help grin back at the boyishness on his face.
"You'll be a great dad."
They sipped their tea quietly, enjoying a companionable silence and eating our muffins. Her phone buzzed in her pocket and she glanced at it.
GALE - hey Catnip, are you doing better now?
Katniss texted back a quick message.
Yeah a little, thx. Met another person, tell you bout it later.
SEND
Peeta took her muffin wrapper and empty teacup from her headed for the kitchen.
She followed him.
"I have to leave for the bakery pretty soon... Thanks for coming, Katniss."
"Thanks for your hospitality, your muffins are even better than your bread."
"My pleasure." He seemed more shy and reserved than he did ten minutes ago. She figured it had something to do with texting while she was with him. Mental note to not do that.
"Maybe I'll drop by the bakery to stock up on things that I enjoy eating, since I didn't get out to the store yesterday..."
"That would be great, would really spice up my day." He seemed pleased at her offer.
He walked her to the door.
"Bye Peeta."
"Bye, I'll keep an eye out for you later, if you want me to show you which breads are best." He hugged her again, dropping a kiss on her cheekbone before pulling back, watching her eyes to make sure the gesture wasn't too much.
"I-" she cleared her throat, surprised that his lips were so soft and gentle, "I would like that. Thanks for everything, Peeta." She looked into his eyes before blushing a little and ducking out of his apartment.
She spent the morning puttering around, tidying things up for a hopefully soon visit from Peeta. She wrote down a list of things to pick up while she was out after lessons were over. Her first student was at 11, and she left for her studio at 10:30.
Upon arrival, she plopped down in a chair and continued reading the book she'd worked on that morning. It was only a few minutes before Rue and her father came in.
"Hi, Katniss, dropping off Rue," Her father announced as he patted Rue's dark curly hair. He looked at her, "Text me if you're done early, see you later, bird." Rue walked gracefully over to Katniss, greeting her. Katniss waved at her father as he pulled his car out of the lot outside the window.
"Hi Rue, ready to get started?"
Katniss entered the only bakery downtown. Glancing around, the first thing she noticed was no Peeta. Then she realized he's probably baking in the back. She inhaled the aroma of freshly baked goods, picking out a few things to try and some things she already knew she liked. She went to the counter and asked if Peeta Mellark was working today. The clerk gave a little knowing smile, and disappeared into the back. A moment later, Peeta came out, wiping his hands on his apron dusted lightly in flour with a little egg smeared in a couple places. He grinned as he saw her.
"You made it, how was your morning?"
She would never get used to - or tired of - his disarming courtesy and charm.
"It was nice, I woke up and had a very wholesome muffin for breakfast made by a very nice baker who rescued me from the hall yesterday. And my favorite student came in for voice lessons today as well. How about yours?"
"Just got a whole lot better, my pretty neighbor from down the hall dropped in to stock her kitchen and now I get to help her pick out some nice things to eat."
Katniss blushed. "So what do you recommend?"
He pulled his apron over his head and set it down on the counter before joining her on the other side. He showed her various breads with their different pros, and she selected two healthy looking loaves before moving to other types of goods.
"Poppy seed muffins, these are excellent, nothing better than a couple muffins to start the day with, right?" She smiled as he continued. "Have you tried cheese buns or these cinnamon buns?"
She shook her head, examining both.
"I'll take one of each."
With her now full bag of breads, Katniss decided she had enough food for a while. Peeta rung up her choices, and she paid for them before taking a bite out of the cheese bun.
"This... This is really really good... My favorite."
Peeta grinned.
"I thought you might like it."
"I have one more student this evening, so I need to get going..."
"Okay, I'll see you later."
"Bye!" She grabbed her bag and headed out, glancing back quickly to see Peeta just beginning to turn and speaking to a coworker animatedly. Peeta looked a little frustrated and the other girl looked like she was messing with him. Katniss got into her car, hoping his pause from work hadn't gotten him in trouble.
After putting away her groceries, polishing off a soft pretzel and finishing her book, Katniss heaved herself off the couch and grabbed her wallet and keys to head back to her studio.
This student was not her favorite. By any means.
He was there already, slouched outside the door.
"Hi Cato."
"Well hello, Katniss." He seems hostile but still flirty. Like flirting with your enemy.
"Okay, why don't we get started. Have you done your warmups yet?" She used Cato as a patience exercise. She already knew the answer to her question. It was always no.
"No, I haven't."
"Go ahead and start then," she leaned over to the piano and plunked some notes on it.
She expected an argument but was surprised when the big burly boy complied, singing to her piano chords.
The lesson went surprisingly well, and he seemed to be in better spirits than he'd been in for most of their time together.
"Um, have a seat Cato. I'm impressed at your work today, you've done better than usual. Not that I'm complaining, but what's going on?"
Cato blushed.
CATO BLUSHED?
"Nothing. Forget about it, and I'll just work harder. Please just don't." His voice was rough but despite the scowl firmly planted on his features, his eye betrayed him. Was that hope in them?
"Cato?"
"Leave me alone, my lesson's over anyway, I'm leaving."
"Cato! Sit." She commanded, and to her surprise it actually worked and Cato plunked down like a child caught stealing cookies.
"Did you... Did you meet someone?" She tried very VERY hard to keep her laugh back when his blush got darker and his ears turned very red.
"You want to impress a girl don't you." She grinned at him. He looked furiously at her.
"I don't need to sing for girls to like me! I have to brush them off like fleas!"
"Okay, okay..." Katniss raised her palms in mock surrender. She couldn't deny that it was true, Cato was handsome in a very crude way.
"If you want a more... Appropriate piece to learn to sing for her though... I mean, singing about a war probably won't do the trick with a girl." He looked at her again, his scowl gone.
"Really? You'd help me out here?"
"Of course, I'm your teacher, that's what I'm here for." He grinned.
"Her name is Clove, she's really cool."
Katniss pulled out a drawer, flipping through several music books to find something suitable. It took awhile but she finally found one he liked.
Ten minutes later, Katniss was pulling out of the parking lot, and in 30, She was back at her apartment. It was almost 7, and she ordered a pizza, tossing together some lettuce and tomatoes for a salad. She has to have some kind of vegetable right?
As Katniss opened a beer, a knock on the door beckoned her. She paid the pizza guy, and inhaled the greasy scent.
TV, beer, pizza, couch... What was missing?
TO PEETA MELLARK
Hey, want to have some pizza? I think it's my turn to feed you. :)
SEND
She was watching the Office when her phone buzzed.
PEETA MELLARK
I don't think I should. Been having relapses and I
DELIVERED
She frowned at the screen. And I what?
PEETA MELLARK
Are you okay, can I help?
SEND
She waited but there was no response. He must be home, and his incomplete message worried her. He went through similar things that she did, so it must be hard for him to cope alone. Maybe it would help to see a face with the same problems... She didn't bother with shoes as she ran down the hall, knocking on Peeta's door. There wasn't a response, but she heard something clatter to the tile inside. She tried the door, surprised that it was open.
"Peeta?"
"K-Katniss? Katniss stay there! Stay there!"
"Peeta can I help? What can I do, do you need a doctor?"
"No! Just - just keep talking to me, tell me something. But don't come into the kitchen!"
"What's going on?!" Another sound of something hitting the tile, this time it sounded like he's knocked a chair over.
"Talk to me, tell me something!" His cries sounded like he was battling something. She slowly started towards the kitchen.
"Katniss?"
"I'm here, Peeta. Um... My student tonight found a girl that he likes, he's so cute when he talks about her, he's usually really cranky... He's kinda like me when I'm not happy, but he's like that all the time. Peeta? Can you hear me?" She waited for his reply. He didn't say anything, and she didn't hear any noise from the other side of the wall separating the kitchen from the entry room.
"Peeta?"
"Keep talking." His whisper barely reached her ears.
"And, well I helped him pick out a song to learn so he can sing it to her someday, her name is Clove." She kept making her way to the kitchen, picking up on his heavy breathing now.
"Katniss don't come in here. I'm serious."
"What's wrong, Peeta?"
"I'll come out when-" He hissed and grunted, "When I'm safe for you. Stay there. Keep talking."
"My morning student, Rue, started on the lullaby my dad used to sing to me, she knows how special it is, and what it means. I know she'll appreciate it. She has four little siblings, and when they can't sleep she sings to them, I figured a lullaby would be a good choice for her." She peered her head around the wall and gasped.
"Peeta, what happened?"
He was sitting on the floor, his knuckles white gripping the stool she'd heard clatter to the ground. There was a bruise on his shoulder, she assumed it was from falling against the counter. His back was bare, and there were not a few large scars going across it. He was wearing basketball shorts, and right below his left knee, a metal object replaced his calf and foot. His face was pained, eyes screwed shut, lips pressed together. His whole body was quaking.
"Peeta?"
"Katniss no, get out of here!" His eyes flew open as he heard her voice close by. They were clouded and he looked mystified at seeing her there.
"No, it's okay, you won't hurt me."
She slowly moved towards him, and when she extended a hand to help him up, he shrunk away like a frightened animal, whimpering. She saw the knife he had dropped on the floor nearby and she carefully set it on the counter out of his reach, just in case, then squatted down next to him. She realized he was more afraid of her than afraid he would hurt her now.
"You need to leave, I could kill you." He spoke through his teeth and his voice was strained with an inward war.
"I'm trained in defense. It's okay."
Her hand was still between them and he eventually let go of the stool and took it, still looking terrified and not quite there.
"It's okay. I'm here, I won't hurt you. You're okay." His expression gradually shifted from pained to in control. His other hand released the wood and turned red from renewed blood flow. His breathing evened out. She covered his hand with her other one, stroking it soothingly.
"Peeta are you back? Are you with me?"
He breathed in deeply before replying, "Yeah." She wasn't quite convinced. He looked like he was still fighting.
"Stay with me."
His eyes finally met hers and the blue orbs cleared.
"Always."
She smiled warmly.
"You okay?" She asked gently.
"Yeah. Yeah I will be. Sorry."
"No reason to apologize, you rescued me, I am happy to help you out if I can. I did help you, right, I didn't make it worse?"
"Yeah, thanks. Having a reason to come back usually helps."
"So what... What-"
"What was that?" He sighed, using his free hand to make sure his prosthetic leg was still attached properly before letting her help him to his feet.
"PTSD, I was a competitive wrestler for several years growing up. I was fearless and I won most of my matches, and had quite an ego. Eventually was retired from the team because..." He gestured to his leg. "Bad match. Anyways, that's where I was during the bakery fire, and seeing the damage later... Didn't help. I get flashbacks of my opponent, he was vicious and merciless. It was terrifying, and the trauma of having a limb amputated made me believe that fear in the ring was an appropriate response." He smiled wryly. "I'm broken worse than you are."
Katniss wrapped her arms around him, the warmth of her arms contrasting against his cold skin, which was clammy from the effort of discerning reality from nightmare.
"It's over now. You don't have to worry about that wrestler, you're done, okay? I've got you now."
His arms slowly came up to return the hug, and she felt him rest his head on hers.
"Thanks Katniss. It really helps."
"How long have you fought yourself alone?"
He laughed mirthlessly.
"7, 8, 9 years? I've lost track." She hugged him tighter, knowing something of what solitude felt like.
"If I have a flashback at the bakery, my coworkers know to keep their distance and just talk to me. I sent one to the hospital for stitches. I'm lucky I didn't get fired or sued. Delly helps me if she's here, but she's a business girl and she's gone a lot. Plus it's hard to call when I'm down. I'm glad you texted when you did. Thanks for coming over."
"If you can, call me whenever you need someone, I'm usually around and the bakery isn't far from here."
He kissed her hair, a wordless thank you.
He stepped back, smiling at her.
"I think your pizza must be getting cold. Is the invitation still good?"
"Of course. You're back now? What usually happens when it's over?"
"I carry on with whatever I was doing before."
"You don't have medication or anything?"
"I don't want medications, I don't want to rely on drugs to stay here. I want, someday, to be whole again."
"I think you will be, I think your will is stronger than your nightmares. I think you'll be just fine." She closed his door behind herself, taking his hand to lead him down the hall.
They turned the TV back on, settling down with the pizza and beers. He sat down in the corner of the couch, she sat right beside him, leaning her head against his shoulder.
The pizza was gone soon, and the clock looked down at them disapprovingly.
"Thanks for your help and for dinner, Katniss."
"Thanks for your honesty, and hanging out with me."
"Ah-no problem. I enjoyed it. I should get some sleep, I'm opening the bakery tomorrow."
"Do you sleep well after an attack?"
"Not really, although I usually don't sleep well."
"My little sister used to comfort me at night, she was good at that. But now-" she cleared her throat.
He took her hand, squeezing it reassuringly and kissing her fingers.
"I hope you get some good rest for a change then."
"Hey, um... You going to be okay by yourself? You're pretty banged up." She grazed a finger over his shoulder and the violet skin there. Goosebumps rose on his bare skin and he blushed a little, clearing his throat before speaking.
"Yeah, I think so. The-the pain helps me stay here, in reality." He wiped his palms on his shorts.
"Okay, take care of yourself and text me if you need anything."
"You too, thanks again." He stood up to leave, reaching his hand down to pull her up as well. They walked quietly to the door, the only sound being the quiet metallic clicks of his leg, which she recognized from the other day.
"Peeta?"
He paused, hand on the doorknob, turning to face her.
She reached up to press her lips to the corner of his, her hand resting on the sturdy plane of his chest, which expanded as he sucked in a breath. Peeta's hand automatically rose to her hair. He smiled as she pulled away, grazing his thumb over her temple.
He opened his mouth to say something but closed it again when no words came.
Peeta ducked out of her apartment quickly, and Katniss blushed, hoping his reaction was a good thing.
She slept well again that night, her dreams only rousing her twice, and once she thought of Peeta just three doors down, she calmed herself down enough to drop off again.
There was something calming about the boy with the bread.
Tuesday morning, uneventful as far as students to teach. Gale's little sister Posy sang well, as she always did. Their mother, Hazelle smiled proudly at Katniss.
"She aims to sing like you someday."
Three other children came and went. Between two of them, Katniss crossed the street and entered the deli, eating a bowl of soup and dipping some of Peeta's bread into it.
On her way home, she remembered that tonight she was going on a date with Peeta for his friend Delly, to the Hob.
Half of her wanted to dress up nicely for Peeta, half of her wanted to dress in something comfortable that would blend into the Hob scene. She went over her closet mentally on the drive home.
Definitely comfortable, that ruled out high heels, dresses and skirts.
Something orange, Peeta likes orange. Soft orange.
She thought of a tank top she'd bought impulsively for her birthday last year which she had yet to wear. It had an actual sunset starting with deep orchid at the hem, and gradually morphed into a buttery yellow at the top. The main color, however, was orange. A sunset orange. Of course she would wear the bird necklace, her father's brown leather jacket, and a pair of dark jeans. Shoes... Ankle boots, maybe wedges to give her a little bit of height, Peeta was several inches taller. Although... Maybe she should let him be taller. Guys like that, right? Soft brown eyeliner, a little coral lipstick, maybe some blush to give her checks a little color... Should she paint her nails, or is that too much? She's already colorful especially for the Hob... No, natural nails.
She'd worked through all the kinks in her wardrobe by the time she pulled into the carport and parked. She ran up the stairs to bring her vision to life.
Katniss did one last revolution in front of the mirror before declaring herself done. Plopping down on the couch, she started working on an arrangement for her student Annie Cresta to work on. Annie wasn't quite there, much like herself, but she'd never asked why. Quiet and reserved, vibrant red hair flowing around her soft face and shoulders, the picture of a lady, sweet and gentle. Her boyfriend was certainly a lucky man. And Annie... Katniss thought of the attractive, bronze-haired man that brought Annie to every single lesson for years, and stayed, smiling at her singing from his chair in the waiting room. He had yet to miss one, and Katniss had yet to see him angry or upset at his love. Yeah, Annie was lucky too.
The clock announced 5:15 shortly, and Katniss grabbed her wristlet and keys as she heard a soft rap on the door.
"Hi Peeta." She managed, thinking he looked absolutely wonderful in a black tshirt outlining his well-earned, well-defined muscles, and pair of gray jeans.
"Katniss... Hi..." His eyes took in her top and she blushed a little, not knowing if they were going as friends helping out another friend, or as a couple. Did her outfit choice seem overboard, it was his favorite color specifically in his favorite setting... His voice broke her thoughts.
"Um, are you... Are you ready?"
"Yeah, let's go." She locked the door behind herself and took the hand he offered as they descended the stairs.
"You look lovely."
She felt her face warm up again, the blush returning.
"Thanks... I don't think I'll really fit into the Hob colors all that well though..."
He chuckled.
"I'm sure they'll love you just the same."
"You always have something nice to say, don't you?" She looked up at him.
"Only to special people," he winked.
She laughed, "See?"
They didn't say anything else until they got to his car. He stopped to face her, the sunset behind them illuminating his silhouette.
"So how... How do you want me to introduce you to Delly?"
"Um, I was wondering that myself..."
"I mean it would be kind of funny to just say 'This is Katniss...'" He seemed as nervous as she felt.
"I guess you could just say I'm... Your date?"
"Okay."
"Is that fine? I mean if you wanted to you could just say my neighbor from three doors down that I fished out of the hallway when she passed out, but that might be bad because then they'd ask questions but I mean if you want to tell the I'm just your neighbor that's fine too-" he cut her babbling off,
"Katniss, will you be my girlfriend?"
She froze.
Should've seen this coming, why didn't she see it coming...
Did she want to be his girlfriend?
"You can say no, and I'll just say you're my neighbor if you want." His voice was soft but rang with a little embarrassment and nervousnes.
"Yes. I want you to be my boyfriend." She did want that, she enjoyed being with Peeta and needed his comfort when he was the only one who could give it.
His eyes lit up, and he smiled lightly,
"Good, I'd like nothing more." He kissed the inside of her wrist before letting go to walk around to the driver's side of his car. When he thought she wasn't looking, his grin covered his face and he beamed - no, glowed - as he sat behind the wheel. His face was once again tamed by the time she was beside him in the passenger's seat and he looked her way. Butterflies tickled the lining of her stomach as she thought of how adorable and boyish he seemed in that relieving moment.
"So, how did you and Delly meet?"
"I'm not sure, as far back as I remember as a kid, she was always there. I think our parents were friends or something. And she was in all my classes at school too."
"So she was kinda like your... Sister growing up?"
He laughed.
"Sort of, especially during high school. Actually she had a crush on me for a few months when we were 11, and she kissed me once... But she said it was too weird and she felt like she was kissing her brother so I guess that got rid of that..."
Katniss found herself laughing as well, thinking of how Gale had done something similar before he realized they were too similar to have something.
"I've been there." She blurted out. He laughed as well, seemingly unfazed by that. She suddenly remembered she'd never called Gale after he texted her the other day. Mental note to do that later.
"The flower of romance in youth. Often leads to strange things..."
She nodded. He pulled into a space and they walked towards the entrance of the grill. Right before entering, Peeta turned her to face him, placing a hand on each of her shoulders.
"Thanks for coming, it means a lot to Delly to have friends there to screen her date. Kick me under the table when you want to get going, okay? Well, kick this leg." He smiled as he pointed to his good foot.
"Okay, I will. I might want to drop by the kitchen on the way out to thank Sae. And introduce her to my boyfriend..." She wrapped her arm around his waist and drew him inside the noisy, dark grill.
He spotted Delly quickly and waved at her. She was alone.
"Delly, where's your date?"
"I kind of might have told him 6ish so I could catch up and chat with you and your date." 6ish, half an hour from now.
"Well this is Katniss, my girlfriend, Katniss this is Delly." She could sense the pride in his voice as he announced his claim on her.
Delly's eyes twinkled as she stood and gave Katniss a hug.
"Nice to meet you, Katniss. It's good to know Peeta has someone nearby to count on."
"Nice to meet you too, Delly, I hope tonight is a success for you."
Delly laughed.
"I hope so too, did Peeta fill you in? We met on an airplane back from Alabama, our seats were together. He was visiting his parents there, he's a lawyer. His name is Thresh."
"Alabama?" Rue is from Alabama.
"Yeah, do you know anyone from there?"
"Yeah, one of my students, I'm a voice teacher."
"Lovely, Peeta was telling me how beautifully you sing."
"Delly, you make me sound like a creep!" Peeta laughed, but Katniss picked up on his nervousness.
"Sorry! How have you been doing, Peeta?"
"I've only had one episode so far this week, so better."
"I'm glad, you've been fighting hard."
She reached across the table to pat his arm.
They continued to chat amiably until Thresh came a few minutes before 6. He was surprised to see the three of them there already.
"I didn't keep you waiting, did I?" He greeted Delly with a hug. His voice was deep and sounded like dark chocolate, and Katniss enjoyed listening to his accent.
"No, you're just on time, the waiter should come by in a minute. These is Peeta and his girlfriend Katniss, both of you, this is Thresh." He shook both their hands, smiling warmly.
"Nice to meet you both."
Dinner passed by quickly, with plenty of chatting and laughing, and Katniss decided she liked Thresh. But she grew sleepy as the evening wore on, and Peeta kept glancing at her. She didn't know if he wanted to leave or if he wanted to know if she wanted to leave. She eventually poked where she figured his right leg must be, and her foot came in contact with something. He looked back at her, and she nodded discreetly.
"Katniss, I think we should get going, we both have work tomorrow. Thanks for inviting us, Delly, it was good to see you again."
"It was good to meet you, Katniss and Peeta."
"You too, Thresh." She mumbled out sleepily, hoping it sounded a little more genuine to them than it did to her.
Delly wished them well and they finally left, making sure to pass by the kitchen to greet Greasy Sae. Sae winked at Katniss and when they were leaving, she told Peeta to take good care of that girl. He promised he would.
On the way back, Peeta held Katniss's hand over the console and held it to his lips every now and then as they talked about Thresh and Delly.
Before they parted outside her door, she stood on her toes to press her lips to his once more, and he responded by putting his hand behind her neck to keep her there. When he at last released her, both of their cheeks were rosy and they had matching smiles.
"I hope you sleep well." She slipped behind her door and waited until she heard his footsteps disappear. She flopped on her bed and sighed. She had a boyfriend now.
She stripped off the clothes that smelled like grease and salt and pulled on a pair of sweatpants and an old t-shirt, curling up on the couch with a cup of tea as she watched the news. The clock read 9 as she drifted off, and 10 when she jolted awake. Images of people she knew replacing the faces of the soldiers and police officers she'd observed on the news. Prim taking the place of the little girl that had gone missing the week before. Her head swam with unwelcome thoughts and she pressed her hands to her temples, trying to banish them. They simply extended their stay and two tears squeezed out of her eyes as Peeta joined the front lines and was shot through the chest.
It was too much, and she ran out of her apartment and knocked frantically on Peeta's door. He answered it promptly, not saying a word, just enveloping her in his warm embrace. She was too traumatized to notice his chest bare once more, and the crutches under each of his arms and his right foot standing alone beneath him.
"Shh, shh. I'm here. It's okay." His breath breezed over the wide neckline of her top and made her squeeze him closer.
"Katniss? Katniss do you want to stay here?" She nodded.
"Okay." He kissed her head and returned one hand to his crutch, the other rubbing her shoulder before it too went back to its crutch. She walked beside him to his room, where he tucked her into his bed and kissed her forehead before turning to leave.
"Peeta?"
"Yeah?"
"Stay with me?"
He only paused for a second, crawling in beside her, leaning his crutches against the nightstand. He wrapped his arm around her again.
He said one more word, but sleep's soft arms enveloped her and dragged her down so that she missed it.
She was back on the muffin hills, Prim and her scruffy old cat were playing nearby; Rue sat in a tree, singing joyfully; Cato and a girl she imagined to be Clove laying on their backs, watching clouds float above them. It felt like something wasn't there. She turned her head, and met Peeta's big blue eyes, searching hers quietly. It felt real. Now this dream was complete. She blinked a few times, and the sun went behind some clouds darkening the space and stealing the warmth of the bright rays shining down.
"No nightmares."
A word like nightmare doesn't belong on muffin hills. That couldn't have been the word Peeta spoke.
"What?"
"You didn't have nightmares after you came over last night."
Came over? Last night? Is she not dreaming then? She reached out to touch his face, and her hand grazed his eyebrows, eyelids and nose. He laughed and kissed the finger she'd poked his lips with. They still felt very, very soft.
"You're real."
"As far as I know, yes."
"Am I awake now?"
"Yeah, I think so."
She sat up.
Peeta's room was as neat as his living room and kitchen, and it was definitely cozier than her own matching room in her apartment. His crutches were settled in the space between the bed and the nightstand, and his prosthetic leg was leaned against the chair against the wall.
"You slept well?" She asked, looking down to where his head still rested on his pillow.
"Better than I have in a long time, you?"
"I had good dreams. I forgot you could have good dreams."
"You slept like you were happy."
"Prim was alive." He immediately wrapped his arm around her, drawing her back down into his side.
"She was playing with that cat, I think its name was Buttercup. I hated that cat, but I always fed him because he made Prim happy."
Katniss made a move to rise, and Peeta loosened his embrace and sat up as well.
"Katniss?"
"Yeah?"
"You know how you thanked me for being honest the other day?"
She nodded slowly, wondering where he was going with this.
"I have to apologize, I haven't been very honest at all. Um... Well the first time I saw you wasn't when I picked you out of the hallway. I've wanted to talk to you for quite some time now."
"Really? When did you see me? I don't remember..."
"I first saw you when you moved in, two years ago. I didn't approach you back then because I thought the guy that was helping you move, the dark-haired tall one-"
"Gale," She acknowledged.
"Gale, well I thought you were together, or married or something. But he never stayed the night, at least to my knowledge, and he sometimes came and went with another girl, a blonde."
"Madge, he's not with her either, they're my two best friends." He nodded.
"Anyways, I didn't want to seem like I was making a move on you since I didn't know you were single. But I found out you were, and I almost went up to talk to you, like 6 or 7 times, but I lost my nerve and chickened out."
"Why were you so nervous to talk to me?"
She frowned, she wasn't that cranky, was she?
"I was intimidated by you because you're so strong and beautiful, I told myself that if you wanted more friends, you would have talked to your neighbors."
"I met Mags when I helped her get her groceries up here, the elevator was out one day. But you're right, I don't talk to any of the others. The President could live across from me and I wouldn't know."
"Yeah, I guess it was some weird stroke of luck that I was home when you were out in the hallway."
"Yeah, if it wasn't for that, I still wouldn't know you were three doors away..."
"But now you do."
"Yeah, now I do, and I'm glad I do." She twisted to face him and dropped a kiss on his nose. He made a low playful growling noise and pressed his lips to hers, pushing her back down onto the bed again, resting one arm on either side of her shoulders. She giggled.
"So what are you going to do with me now that you have me?" His voice was still playful, but rather husky.
She didn't reply, but drew his mouth back down and kissed him again.
The clock nudged them to get out of bed at 9, and Peeta assured her he wasn't busy that day, didn't have to work for a few hours. But she remembered Finch had a lesson at 10, and she needed to drop by the bank before that.
"Will you at least stay for muffins?" Peeta asked as he fastened his artificial leg below his knee.
"I wouldn't consider leaving without one."
He grinned up at her, taking her extended hand.
Peeta hadn't had an episode in several days, and although Katniss's dreams often went dark, she would find refuge in Peeta's welcoming arms each night. Her own flashbacks weren't frequent, and they rapidly grew accustomed to a routine.
Breakfast of muffins. Part for work. Eat lunch texting each other. Back to work. Come home for dinner together. Climb into Peeta's bed to repeat it the next day.
Nothing else happened in Peeta's bed, although when Madge found out she teased Katniss relentlessly and Delly wasn't much better with Peeta. Gale was still oblivious to the arrangement, which Katniss decided was a good thing, since his protective nature didn't kick in and he never threatened Peeta.
One morning, Katniss woke up, hearing Peeta in the next room talking, she guessed, on the phone.
"She's still asleep. No we haven't! We literally just sleep! Dell-Delly stop it, it's up to her. Yeah we've been together for like three weeks and already..." His voice dropped an octave and grew quieter. "Already I'm in love with her. I'm a goner, and I couldn't be happier. Thanks. You're still with Thresh? Yeah I like him, he's a good guy. Okay. Okay, yeah. Thanks, Delly. Talk to you later."
Katniss smiled as she heard him walking back towards the bedroom, rolling over and pretending to be asleep as he checked on her, and dropped a kiss on her forehead.
A couple weeks later, on the Saturday before Thanksgiving, Peeta and Katniss were in his kitchen, discussing if they should have traditional turkey dinner at her apartment or his. Peeta's voice grew tense as he gripped his can of soda, crushing it slowly. Katniss watched cautiously as he turned his head and glowered at her.
"Peeta."
She put down the knife she was spreading cream cheese on her bun with. He'd explained to her what to do in these times: get rid of anything resembling a weapon, extinguish any fire, be alert for any attack against her.
"Peeta, come back to me. Peeta, you're safe. I won't let anyone hurt you."
He didn't respond. It was like he didn't hear her. She gently took his crushed soda can out of his tight fist.
"Peeta?" He launched at her, and Katniss reacted fast, deflecting his fist and stepping sideways to avoid his attack. He growled.
"Peeta." Her voice was soft, barely a whisper.
She showed him her palms.
"I'm not going to hurt you. I promise I won't hurt you." Unfortunately, living in the woods, trained to deflect bear attacks at any cost including injuring the bear didn't prepare her to deal with someone she cared about attacking her, and she refused to hurt him. His hands wrapped around her wrists, and held them together.
"You're safe now, it's okay."
He didn't listen and twisted one arm behind her back, making her cry out. He didn't relent and held her there for a second before kicking her knees out and causing her to fall on the floor beneath him, hitting her head against the tile.
"Peeta!" Her strangled shout finally reached his ears.
"K-Katniss? Katniss? I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry..." Assured he was back in his own mind, Katniss drifted off, head throbbing, vaguely feeling him roll her over and pick her up gently.