Turn Me On, Turn Me Off
By: Riley
Summary – BTR considers Riley and Rhuben 'one of the guys' so they can talk about their turn-ons and turn-offs right? Dialogue drive one-shot.
"Good job today, boys," Rhuben said, clapping her hands together. Behind her, Riley was sitting on the floor, clapping half-heartedly. "Ignore her." She motioned to Riley before turning back to the guys, who were all sucking down water out of their plastic water bottles. They crackled and created loud popping sounds as they finished their drink quickly. "Seriously, you all did a good job this time, your footwork has definitely improved since the last time I worked with you guys."
"How did Gustavo talk you into working with us this time?" Carlos asked as he tossed his water bottle to the floor and picked up his towel.
"More like blackmailed," Riley commented, crossing her legs at the ankles. She held up her hands as the guys all turned to her, eyes wide with interest. "I can't tell you with what, but let me just say that there are some things that Gustavo knows about us that we would rather him not spread around."
"Well, that just means that we have to find out," James said, rubbing his hands together eagerly. "Now, what could it be?" He started to think of all of the possibilities. "Cheated on a test? Nah that seems like something you would do anyway."
"You got that right," Rhuben commented as she sat down and started to change from her dance shoes to her black and purple punkrose high tops. She gave a loud laugh as Logan looked at her with wide eyes. "Oh come on, Logie-Bear, you can't possibly tell me that you haven't cheated on a test." She held up a finger. "Everyone does at least once."
"Not Logie," Kendall put his arm around Logan's shoulders and gently shook him. "He is seriously the only guy that I know that would go to school if he as deathly ill just to make sure that he didn't miss a test."
"There's nothing wrong with wanting to be sure that I keep my grades ups," Logan defended himself, gathering his stuff together so he could shove it back into his gym bag.
"Only problem was this was when he was in fourth grade," Carlos said. "So you knew that it was bad if he was so into school at that age."
"I don't doubt it, Dude." Riley pulled herself up off of the floor. "Logan was always a bit of a punk like that." She grinned as Logan gave her a look.
"Thanks Landy," he said.
Everyone finished gathering their things and left the dance studio. Rhuben made sure that the boom-box was replaced on the window sill and that everything was cleaned up before she turned off the light and closed the door behind him.
"So are you guys headed home?" Kendall asked, shifting his bag so it was behind his back. "We could walk you." He offered.
"Why?" Riley snorted as Rhuben locked the door to the dance room. "Are you too scared to go yourself?" She shook her head. "Besides, we were planning on going to Pinkberry. You boys wanna come?" She thought for a moment. "I think its half off today."
"Which just means that Carlos is going to eat twice as much," James laughed. "I'm in." He agreed. "There's only so much that I can eat of Mama Knight's healthy food and we're allowed to splurge every once in a while."
"Let me just put these keys back first," Rhuben said, jiggling the handle of the door to the dance studio, to be sure that the door was locked. The six friends went to the front of Rocque Records, where Rhuben left the key to the receptionist and they all climbed into the Big Time Rush mobile to go to Pinkberry. Once at the store, they ordered the frozen yogurt that they wanted and then went outside to a patio table to enjoy the warm weather while they ate.
After taking down a few gulps of his yogurt, Carlos opened his mouth and burped loudly, causing Kendall, James, Riley, and Rhuben to laugh, though Logan made a face of disgust as he shook his head.
"That's disgusting, Carlos," Logan remarked. "Don't you have any manners?"
"You can be such a girl sometimes, Logan," James said around a mouthful of his own frozen yogurt. "Let loose and have fun sometime. Please? I'm begging you." He looked up as two blonde girls around their age walked by them, giggling loudly. It was obvious that they wanted the boys' attention from the way that they kept shooting looks at them as they passed. And James took the bait, grinning and nodding at them, causing them to giggle even more as they walked away. "She is definitely someone that I would like to go out with. Long legs like that I'm a total sucker for."
"Actually, I would just say that you had a thing for girls in general, Handsome," Riley commented teasingly, stirring her root beer flavored frozen yogurt. "At least from what I've noticed." She shrugged and smirked as she leaned back in her seat, holding her food in her hands.
Logan looked a little amused. "For some people that get so worked up when their brothers comment on a girl, you seem really relaxed right now." He teased back.
"Well," Rhuben held up a hand, pointing over to the girls that just passed by. "She's got a good body, yeah," she said, matter-of-fact. "And it's different when you're hanging out with the guys than it is with your brothers."
That was a bit of an understatement. Being tomboys, Riley and Rhuben became close with Kendall, Logan, Carlos, and James pretty quickly after they had admitted that they thought of the boys as their friends. It was hard not to; they worked in the same industry, they had a lot in common, and if there was one guy that was busy (or two for that matter) there was someone else that they could hang out with. It helped that they were all the same age and had some of the same experiences. But Riley and Rhuben prided themselves on being best friends with 'their boys' and talked highly of them when they were asked about them in interviews. While there were times that it was obvious that the twin girls were closer to one of the guys than the others, the six of them still liked to hang out when they could. It was never really awkward for them, but Logan made sure that they didn't get too put off with the guys just being the guys, though the girls could keep up perfectly fine.
"With the kids, we want them to be gentlemen." She shook her head, referring to her brothers as 'the kids' as she and Riley had taken care of them for a while. "But you guys are already damaged, so it doesn't make a difference."
"Gee, thanks, Benny." Kendall rolled his eyes.
"You're welcome, K-Dawg." She stuck her tongue out at him.
"So girls are a turn on for James." A mischievous look came to Riley's eyes as she turned her gaze to Kendall, Logan, and Carlos. "What's a turn on in a girl for you guys?" She put her frozen yogurt on the table and rested her hands in her lap. "I have to admit, I've wanted to know this for a while." Beside her, Rhuben nodded eagerly.
"I'm not telling you," Carlos laughed incredulously. "You're girls."
"Yeah, we've been aware of that for eighteen years now, mate," Rhuben joked. "If it helps CareBear, if you tell us what your turn ons are, we'll tell you ours." She motioned between herself and her sister. "Cause I'm sure that you guys would want to know what's true and what the magazines just make up."
Riley held up a finger. "But you have to promise not to tell anyone else. We still have a reputation-"
"-slash image-" Rhuben broke in.
"That we have to uphold," Riley concluded.
Kendall, Logan, Carlos, and James thought for a moment. Friends or not, it was interesting for them to know what it was that made their friends interested in a specific person, if there was one thing that they could pin-point. Plus, it was interesting to know whether or not they had a specific trend in the people that they dated with the attributes that they expressed.
"Ok, for me," Logan thought for a moment. "She has to be smart, like can hold a conversation." He rolled his eyes at the impatient sounds that the others made. Logan and smart went hand in hand like peanut butter and jelly; they could see that trait coming from a mile away. "Umm." He thought for another moment. "They have to be kinda skinny, like they like to exercise, great eyes, like, expressive. Likes to smile and have fun, stuff like that. Mysterious." He licked his lips. "For a personality… they have to be really nice, not boring, and likes to laugh and have fun." He shrugged. "And an accent doesn't hurt."
"Kinds sounds like Camille," Carlos teased Logan, poking him in the cheek where hid dimple would be. "In one of her many personas."
Logan smiled and pushed Carlos's hand away. Logan's on-off girlfriend, who was off at this moment, was someone that Logan didn't think that he would originally date. He had never thought that someone so extreme would be his type, since he usually liked the quiet ones, but he was happy with her, no matter what their status was. So he could handle some good natured teasing.
"Your turn," Logan turned to Carlos with a smirk.
Carlos thought for a moment. He was with his girlfriend, Stephanie, and had been with her for a long time. Now, whenever he thought of the perfect girl for him, what turned him on, she was generally the first thing that he thought about. Of course, there were other women that he found attractive (Angelina Jolie, Megan Fox, etc.), but to him, nothing compared to his girlfriend.
"They have to smell good," Carlos said with a dream smile. "Like cotton candy or butterscotch or vanilla! I really like that!" His enthusiasm caused the others to chuckle as they listened to him. "A nice smile, I really like girls with long hair. Oh, they have to laugh at my jokes, have a good sense of flirtatious eye contact and…just be nice." He concluded.
"That's great CareBear," Riley tilted her head to the side. "Now all someone needs to do is make a corn dog scented perfume and you'll be good to go." She turned her gaze to Kendall. "Your turn, Hockey-Head."
"I don't know," Kendall shrugged. "I thought I knew what I wanted when I was with Jo, but now that I had so much time to think about it, since we broke up…I'm not really sure what's a turn on for me."
"Oh come on," James said loudly, sitting up straight. "Every guy has something that they find irresistible about a girl. EVERYONE! So you have to have something." Kendall turned to James with a funny look and James held his hands up defensively. "Excuse me for wanting to know what goes on in their heads." He said, pointing over at Riley and Rhuben.
"Well," Kendall stressed out the word as he thought about it. "Um, she has to smile a lot, that way I know she's having a good time. Medium length or short hair. Has to be healthy," he said, referring back to his own idea of being healthy. He was the only one from the band that tried to use only organic products, and that went for food as well. "She has to be a good listener and tries to understand me. She has to know that nobody is perfect. Is caring. Likes to have fun."
"Turn offs?" Rhuben pressed.
The boys didn't have to think hard about that one.
"Obsessively talking about past relationships," James rolled his eyes.
"Bad table manners." Logan nudged Carlos, who stuck his tongue out at Logan. There was frozen yogurt dripping off his tongue and onto the table, causing Logan to roll his eyes, although he was laughing.
"Nagging," Carlos said.
"A weird laugh," Kendall's nose wrinkled a little.
"Snorting," James added. "There's nothing less sexy to me than snorting."
"A deep voice," Logan shuddered. "Like, a man voice."
"Worrying about your hair and nails, all the time," Carlos said.
"Being really…dramatic." Kendall finished. "I think that's what guys don't like the most. The fact that for the most part," he held up a hand. "Not all the time, girls can make the slightest things a really big problem that's not needed." He crossed his arms and leaned forward, resting them on the table. "Ok, we told you everything, now you have to tell us."
"And speak slowly," James added as he pulled out his phone and started to make a draft text so he could write everything down. He looked over at Logan when he noticed that he had done the same thing, but instead had a pad of paper and a pen. "Dude?"
"It's for love science," Logan said. "Duh!"
"Ok, then how about we start with turn offs," Rhuben pushed her hair behind her ears. "That would be a lot easier to explain." She cleared her throat. "Smoking is a big one. Riles and I have this thing where if a fan or a random guy asks us out, usually we would say yes to be polite-"
"But you've been asked out a lot by fans this past year, since you're taking a break from your music," Carlos pointed out, his nose wrinkling in confusion. "So how come you haven't gone on any?"
"I don't have the time," Rhuben said shortly.
"And I'm not looking for a boyfriend," Riley added sharply. "Can we keep going please?"
Carlos nodded and Rhuben continued. "Anyway, a guy had won a contest and I agreed to go out with him. Basically he was perfect. Good looking, smart, funny, tall, physically fit. And everything was going good, but then, he took out a cigarette and lit it. It was basically his eighth cigarette that night and I called him out on it. Basically he said that he thought that girls thought guys that smoked were sexy-"
"-probably to go with that whole 'bad boy' thing," Riley interrupted, rolling her eyes.
"Right," Rhuben nodded. "And it's not, I'm giving you fair warning now, it definitely isn't. Along with that girls don't like BO-"
"-A lot of body hair-"Riley broke in.
"-being cocky-"
"-bad breath-"
"-bad teeth-"
"-bad skin-"
"-rude-"
"-selfish-"
"-stuck up-"
"-kinda short, shorter than you, Carlos-"
"-lack of confidence-"
"-whiny-"
"-too sensitive-"
"-clingy-"
"-controlling-"
"-farts a lot-"
"-burps a lot-"
"-sexist-"
"-dishonest-"
"Ok!" Kendall, Logan, Carlos, and James chorused, all holding their hands up so the twin girls would stop. "We get the point."
"Wow," Logan picked up his pad of paper and started to scribble as much as he could onto the paper. At that point he didn't care whether or not it was eligible, he just wanted to be sure that he could get everything down. "I didn't know that so much stuff annoyed you girls." He paused. "Well, I mean, I knew, but I didn't think it would be that much."
"You'd be surprised," Riley dead-panned.
"Ok, so," James gave an eager smile. "What is it about guys that turn you on?"
"I'll go first," Riley offered. She pushed her hair behind her shoulders as she thought about it. "Has to be understanding about me and my job, but that's a no brainer." The other nodded. "Has to have a good personality. Can make me laugh, I love a guy that can make me laugh. I usually have a thing for guys with darker eye colors. I like guys more on the thin side, not so much that they don't have muscle, but I like being able to put both of my arms around him. I like them to be taller, but not so much that they tower over me. Good smile. Has to have a good sense of humor, so they can get my sarcasm. Can't have a problem with tattoos, listens to what I have to say. Has to be athletic. A bit laid back. And…"she narrowed her eyes as she thought about one more that would work. "Someone that I can have fun with and can combat my competitiveness with no hard feelings over who wins or loses."
"Ok, for me," Rhuben gave a half smile. "I usually have a thing for guys with green eyes. I like them to be taller than me. They have to be muscular, if they have a good upper body, but not so much that they're a body-builder, I'm good. I like guys with bigger hands, he has to be funny but serious, respectful, smart, cares about my feelings, open minded, has to love music, a bit shy is fine…and has to have a cut smile."
"What do you consider a cute smile?" James asked, raising his hand.
"I'll let you know when it comes up." Rhuben laughed, pushing his hand down.
"Now, I don't know if you noticed," Kendall said with a mischievous smile. "But most of what you two just said described us." He looked over at his best friends, who nodded back, all with bright smiles on their faces.
"You guys are our best mates for a reason, yeah," Riley pointed out.
"Even though there are many, many times that we want to kill you," Rhuben added. "So it makes sense that some of the stuff that we like would be things that you guys have too." She finished her peanut butter flavored frozen yogurt. "Now, is there anything else that you would like to know?"
"Yes," Carlos said seriously. "Why do girls keep saying 'I'm fine' when they're not? Oh and why do they have to match their outfits all the time?"
Everyone laughed.
THE END
A/N: I know that I said that I was going to do the Jiley/Jella one-shot first, but then I suddenly got this idea in the middle of class and almost laughed out loud when I thought about it, so I knew I had to do it.
Cheers,
-Riles