Just a fluffy, short fic about Sam reminiscing about his mom. I'm not sure if the timing's right between the events, I'm just taking a shot in the dark. My first Supernatural fic, please review! :) Oh, and the song is "I Want a Mom" by Cindy Lauper.
I want a mom that will last forever
I want a mom to make it all better
I want a mom that will last forever
I want a mom who will love me whatever
Driving down the dark highway, Sam yawned and shook his head, reminding himself of the long drive ahead of him. He'd been driving for over five hours now, and midnight had long since passed. Shifting in his seat, he settled farther back to stretch his aching muscles.
Glancing over at Dean who slept soundly in the passenger's seat, Sam grinned as thoughts of stealthy pranks came to mind, though he decided against them. He and Dean had been through a lot, and he decided to at least let his brother sleep.
Looking back to the road, Sam frowned as he mulled over the events of the last few days. Just about a week before, they'd stopped in Chicago to investigate strange murders where they'd found their father. Sam had been so happy to see him, though his apology never got past the lump in his throat. They'd hardly gotten two minutes together until they were attacked, and John once again left to find his mother's killer.
Mom…
The thought brought another wave of pain. God how he missed her…he remembered about a month before how they'd actually seen her spirit…He saw her, talked to her…But again, only for a moment.
I want a mom that'll take my hand
And make me feel like a holiday
A mom to tuck me in that night
and chase the monsters away
I want a mom to read me stories
And sing a lullaby
And if I have a bad dream to hold me when I cry
Oh,
I want a mom that will last forever
I want a mom to make it all better
I want a mom that will last forever
I want a mom that will love me whatever, forever
Sam gripped the steering wheel hard. Why did he not get to have a mom, and be left with his brother who was only a few years older and a father who was almost always gone? Why the hell did they have to go through it? Why? What did they do?
Taking a shuddering breath, Sam pictured the dreams he'd had when he was a young boy. He remembered dreaming of her holding him, of her whispering a lullaby and bouncing him on her lap. He remembered dreaming of her holding his hand on the first day of school, of her kissing his scraped knee to make it better, of her telling him she loved him.
But of course, they were just dreams. Nothing more. They never could be anything more.
But Sam also remembered something that he used to dream of that seemed clearer than the other dreams. He remembered looking into his mother's face, her face aglow with happiness as she whispered, Baby boy, I'll love you till the day all the stars in the sky grow dark and the moon no longer shines.
Sam felt tears rush to his eyes, though he quickly blinked them back. If he could just hear those words one more time…Hell, he wasn't sure he'd even heard them at all, other than in a dream.
When she says to me, she will always be there
To watch and protect me I don't have to be scared
Oh, and when she says to me I will always love you
I won't need to worry 'cause I know that it's true
I want a mom when I get lonely
Who will take the time to play
A mom who can be a friend and a rainbow when it's gray
I want a mom to read me stories
And sing a lullaby
And if I have a bad dream, to hold me when I cry
"Sammy, you cryin'?" a drowsy Dean suddenly asked, making Sam jump. Looking at Dean, he suddenly began to blink faster.
"No, no," he quickly lied. "I just, my eyes were watering 'cause I'm tired."
Dean showed his trademark snide grin, muttering, "What a girl."
Sam began to reply with a sharp comeback, though stopped. As Dean began to settle back into the seat, Sam suddenly asked, "Hey Dean, did mom ever say anything to you when she put you to bed? Like a saying about the stars or something?"
Dean looked up at Sam oddly, frowning. "Well yeah. She said, 'I'll love you till the day all the stars in the sky grow dark and the moon no longer shines.' Or something like that." When he saw the look on Sam's face furrow in deep thought, he curiously asked, "Why do you ask?"
Sam, broken from his train of thought, smiled encouragingly at his brother. "Nothing, it's nothing."
Raising his eyebrow, Dean shrugged and again settled back into the seat. "Alright, just don't go cryin' again while I'm asleep. I don't need you breaking down while you're driving."
"Shut up and go to sleep, jerk."
"Bitch."
Oh,
I want a mom that will last forever
I want a mom to make it all better
I want a mom that will last forever
I want a mom that will love me whatever, forever
I want a mom that will last forever
Farther down the road, Sam fell back into another deep thought. Just a couple days ago, they'd taken care of a shtriga which had attacked Sam as a kid. Of course, Sam was too young to remember, and decided he didn't want to.
But Dean did. Sam couldn't erase from his mind the look on his brother's face as he retold the story of the horrible night it attacked, the desperately haunted look in Dean's eyes. He wanted to tell his brother how much he appreciated Dean and how it wasn't his fault, though Dean had pushed him away. But at the same time, he could see the small hint of relief that had come over his brother. Until that night, Sam hadn't really given much thought to all Dean had done for him when they were kids, all Dean did for him now.
Sam then suddenly smiled as he realized- he didn't have a mom, and he would carry that pain for the rest of his life. But instead, he had a Dean. And that was plenty good enough for him.
I want a mom that will last forever