Lunatic Parade-106
Written by Gabe Ricard
Disclaimer: Nothing is mine so don't sue
Nothing much in the way of an intro except to say enjoy the story. And for those of you who have wanted me to out Ronfar and Leo…well…this episode is for you.
Hiro: So, my ass doesn't look big?
Lucia: No
Hiro: What a relief
Lucia: (Talking to herself) please don't ask about the pimples, please don't ask about the pimples
Hiro: But what about those pimples all over my-
Lucia: We're on!
Hiro: Oh…welcome to the HIRO SHOW!!!
Ruby: Hiro…for the 57th and final time…we are not calling it the Hiro show
Hiro: Why the hell not?!
Ruby: Because you're not the sole reason people watch the show
Hiro: What?
Jean: We took a poll…99.9 percent of those polled said they would prefer moldy dog crap to you as a host
Hiro: So why am I the host?!
Jean: Because we hate moldy dog crap and we're also too lazy to host the show
Hiro: (Starts to cry)
Ruby: Oh quit it and move on with the show…bring out our guest
Hiro: (Wipes away the deep, bitter tears) Fine…our guest for today is…Al Pacino!
(Screen lowers with Al on it)
Al Pacino: Evening everyone
Hiro: Wow…you're awfully subdued
Al Pacino: WHAT?! BEING CALM NOT FUCKING GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU?!?! HUH?!!? HUH!?!?!?
Hiro: Woah! Woah! Settle down…okay…ummm
A Pacino: Ask me about my film career…
Hiro: Works for me…okay…any projects on the horizon?
Al Pacino: OH…I GET IT YOU LITTLE BASATRD! DON'T THINK I CAN FIND WORK HUH?!? IS THAT IT PIGFUCKER!!?!?!?!
Ruby: This is not going well
Hiro: (Whispering) Ronfar…change the signal
Ronfar: Right-O
Al Pacino: TRYING TO CUT ME OFF?! OH YOU'LL PAY!! OH HOW YOU WILL ALL FUCKING PAY!!! (Screen goes fuzzy)
Hiro: Whew…now…who lined him up?
Ronfar: I did…
Hiro: Pain time Ronfar…get down here
Ronfar: Awww
(Ronfar comes into the studio. Wearing tight black leather pants and a Queen shirt)
Ronfar: Yeah?
Hiro: Okay…that's it…where's Leo?
(Leo appears wearing bicycle shorts and a WHAM shirt)
Leo: Right here
Hiro: It's confession time for you two
Leo: (Gasps) you mean…you know?
Ronfar: About us?
Hiro: Yeah
Lucia: I don't get it
Jean: (Whispers in Lucia's ear)
Lucia: Really?! And don't EVER put your tongue anywhere near my ear again!
Jean: Sorry…don't tell Lemina okay?
Lucia: Maybe I will
Jean: (Gulps)
Hiro: Let's hear it guys…the people have a right to know
Ronfar: Fine…Leo and I are…Gay
(Total silence from the studio)
Leo: James and Martin Gay…the Gay Brothers
Hiro: (Gasps) The former country music team?!
Leo: (Lowers head in shame) the same
Ronfar: We did it in our college days to make some money…when it got big we put an end to it and went back to our real names
Leo: It's a secret we were going to carry to our graves…until now
Ruby: But those clothes! And the way you two act around each other?
Leo: Well…he IS banging my sister
Ronfar: And we just like these clothes
Leo: Wait a second…you didn't think WE were actually gay do you?
Hiro: Well…
Jean: Yes
Ronfar: (Bursts out laughing) Are you serious?! US? Gay?
Leo: Man…you guys are really stupid
Hiro: Just go back to the control room…(Turns to Leo) You…go make us some Jell-O
Leo: Blue?
Hiro: Of course
Leo: (Heads off)
Hiro: Now…I think I'm going to dance…Jean lay some funky beats on us
(Jean lays the funky beats)
Hiro: (Dancing) yeah…can't touch this!
Ruby: (Taps him on the shoulder) I just did!
Hiro: (Swats Ruby out the window) Ha! I'M THE GOD! YES I'M THE GOD!
Lucia: We lose an awful lot of windows that way
Jean: I know…Hiro's never going to stop dancing. Wanna go out for a drink…place called Meow Mix
Lucia: Now I'm REALLY going to tell Lemina…LEEEEMINNAAAAA
Lemina: Yeah?
Lucia: Jean's hitting on me
Lemina: That's okay…she'd LOVE to know what I did with the two Sailor Scouts last night
Jean: (Stops) please tell me!
Lemina: No
Jean: Please?
Lemina: No
(Al Pacino suddenly appears with a shotgun)
Al Pacino: SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND!!! (Opens fire, everyone flees except for Hiro who continues to dance. Al walks over to the camera)
Al Pacino: You talking to me? You talking to me?
Nall: I thought that was De Niro
(Al Pacino shoots him then the camera)
End.
I think the gay joke has played it's course don't you…Jean will continue to be a lesbian…because I like that…Lemina I'm not sure about. Still, the jokes will be downplayed now that I had my fun with the Ronfar/Leo thing. Thanks for reading and be sure to let me know what you think.