An Affair to Remember
"Leo, I don't care if your 'other charges' need you! It's our anniversary for crying out loud!"
Piper Halliwell-Wyatt could be heard shouting throughout the manor, her cries surprising her unexpecting sisters.
"Look, Piper, you knew this could happen when you married me, and I have an obligation to my other charges. They need my help, too." Leo's face was tight with exasperation, and the tips of his ears were beginning to turn pink.
"Fine! Just go, but don't bother coming back for at least two hours!" Piper yelled at her already orbing husband, who could be seen rolling his eyes at her. She shook her finger at him, tempted to freeze him in mid orb, so he showed up wherever he was going with no legs. She resisted, however, and resigned herself to the kitchen to put away the food she had planned to prepare for their anniversary celebration.
"Have you called off the hounds? Is it safe to come out?"
Piper looked up from her half stuffed turkey to see her younger sister, Phoebe, poke her head around a corner.
"Yeah, you'll be fine. I'm just so frustrated with Leo lately. He's always so... I think he's having an affair." She forced the last sentence quickly past her lips, as though she were ripping off a band-aid.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait a minute, Piper. This is Leo we're talking about. The guy probably doesn't even know what an affair is, let alone be able to pull one off right under our noses. Especially this nose." Phoebe came and sat down on a stool next to Piper, while she pointed at her own nose. "Come on, honey, think about it. Would he ever do that to you?"
Piper looked back at her pink, pimpled bird, her eyes narrowed in thought. "We'll find out, won't we?" She walked out of the kitchen, throwing her apron on a chair as she ran up the stairs to the attic. Piper rolled an old world map out onto the floor and retrieved her scrying crystal from the trunk of Wiccan supplies.
"If Leo won't come to me, then I'll go to Leo. He's somewhere on this earth and I intend to find him." She began swinging the clear rock in circle above the map.
Phoebe watched her for a moment before interrupting. "Honey, how are you going to find him? You can't just scry for him, it doesn't work like that."
"Yes, I realize this, Phoebes," Piper replied sarcastically.
"Then why are you still swinging that dumb crystal?"
Piper dropped the chain, and it smacked heavily on the wood floor. "Do you have a better idea?"
Phoebe scratched her chin, and then shook her head. "Scry away, Obi Won."
"Thank you."
"No! Wait! Maybe I do have a better idea." Phoebe marched over to the Book of Shadows and began flipping through the pages. "When you turned into a fury, Paige switched the words of a spell around so we could summon you. The spell to find a lost witch. We just changed witch to sister, so why can't you change witch to husband?"
"But I don't want Leo to come here, I want to catch him in the act.... No, wait, no I don't, but I still want to know what's going on. So how do we do that?"
Phoebe flipped through the pages again. "Paige's evil enchantress spell. She changed the words around so she could go to the prince. You change the words around on the lost witch spell to do the same thing."
Piper thought about it for a second, pondering the possibilities. "Okay. Let's get to work."
***
Powers of the wives will riseCourse unseen across the skies
Go to him who wanders where?
Go to him and settle there
Blood to Blood I wish to see
Blood to blood I go to thee
Piper pricked her finger with the knife she held in her hand, and let it drip into the burning candle on the table in front of her. Phoebe watched silently near by, praying that her sister didn't find what she was searching for.
As the blood mixed the clear melted wax, a bright light shown from the wall, and a hole opened into a room, somewhere in a different house. Piper took Phoebe's hand and crept up to it. She heard distant voices, and one was distinctly female. A giggling, flirtatious, soon-to-be dead, female.
The other belonged to Leo.
"Oh God, he's there, he's there!" Piper sounded frantic, her voice rising with each syllable, until she was squeaking.
"Well then go get him. Bring your man home." Phoebe pushed her through the hole and jumped in after her.
The sisters found themselves in a small house, in an even smaller room. The pink wallpaper popped out at them, screaming for attention. There was a crib with a little pink mobile attached, and a dresser covered in baby pictures.
"Not only is he having an affair, he's got a whole other family!" Piper whimpered, picking up one of the pictures. "He has a son and another wife and he married me anyway! That rat!"
She followed the voices coming from downstairs, and leapt them two at a time. "Leo! Leo, get you white lighter ass out here! Leo!"
The man in
question skidded around a corner, a young blonde woman not far behind him. She
looked as though she had been crying.
"Piper? How the hell... what
are you doing here?" Leo asked, genuinely confused.
"I'm catching you in the act, you sniveling, two-faced, low-life, double-crossing, faithless, two-timing, adulterous, rat! You never thought you'd get caught, did you? But I knew it! You're having an affair!" Piper heaved in disbelief.
Leo's jaw dropped, his face turning red in embarrassment. "Is that what you think I'm doing? God, Piper, this is Anna-Beth. Her husband is a friend of mine and I came to help them find their son! He orbed out of his crib this morning."
Piper looked at him blankly. "He orbed?"
"Yeah, Piper. He orbed. Anna-Beth's husband is a white lighter, too.... No, I am not her husband!" he added quickly when Piper gave him a funny look. Suddenly a man was standing next to Phoebe, holding a pudgy baby boy.
"I found him, the rascal! He was covered in sand on a beach in Costa Rica. Nice choice, if I do say so myself!" The man's eyes wandered around to the girls who were staring at him, horrified. "Uh, Leo, who are these people?"
Leo sighed and pointed at Piper. "That's my wife. And that's her nosey sister."
Phoebe scowled at him. "Well, I wouldn't have to be so nosey of you actually were honest with us for once!"
"I wanted to make it a surprise as a anniversary gift! Anna-Beth and Keith were married just a few months ago, after Jacob was born. I wanted to show Piper that witches and white lighters could have children and still live a normal life! Obviously it didn't work out that way." Leo frowned and turned away from the group. Piper grabbed his arm and spun him around.
"You were doing that for me? Leo!" She kissed him passionately, lingering at his lips after she was through. "I'm so sorry I ever doubted you, baby. Can you forgive me?"
Leo pouted for a moment, but then smiled at his wife. "How could I resist a plea like that?" It was his turn to kiss her, and as he did he orbed the two of them out of the house.
Phoebe glanced about the room. "Uh, Leo! You forgot someone!"
He and Piper orbed back into the room, laughing quietly. Leo grabbed her shirt and the trio disappeared in a blaze of white light.
End