Title: we all end floating away
Summary: She kisses him and tries to lose herself in it. Tries to convince herself that she has not already lost him. Mermaid!AU. (Because face it: Saf would be hot as a merman :P)

I can see the end
But it hasn't happened yet
I can see the end
But it hasn't happened yet
~Breathing Underwater, Metric

Bitterblue has decided two things. One: Saf is infuriating, and two—he really needs to stop sneaking in through her window.

She barely has time to yank closed the seaweed curtains as he tumbles through, righting himself with a sharp flick of his tail.

"I thought," she hisses, whirling on him, "that I told you to be careful!"

"Relax." He brushes her off with a wave of his hand. "No one saw me—I lost my pursuers back at the Reefs, then decided I'd take a detour instead of going straight home."

Bitterblue studies him more carefully and notices the slowly purpling bruise on his right cheek. "Oh, Saf," she says, coming over to touch her fingers to it gently, "what did you do this time?"

He closes his eyes against her touch, hand circling her wrist, before his disorienting purple eyes snap open again. "Nothing they weren't asking for," he mutters. When Bitterblue bites her lip, he adds, voice softer, "Hey, I'm okay, all right?"

Bitterblue snorts. "It's not you I'm worried about." She swims to the other side of the room and peeks through her curtains, checking outside for passing guards. "The patrols haven't made it to this side yet. You should be able to slip out undetected if you put on a good burst of speed."

"I came all the way here and you're just going to send me away?" Saf protests, a petulant look on his face.

"I've got things to do, Saf—"

"You didn't look too busy when I knocked." Saf crosses the room in one stroke so that she has to crane her neck to look up at him, their chests barely touching. Under the watery light, Saf's freckles seem to glimmer, and even before he bends to kiss her, Bitterblue knows she's a goner.

"Saf," she gasps breathlessly as his fingers skim up her sides, ghosting over her spine. "I'm serious…"

"Hm." He makes a small humming noise in the back of his throat; Bitterblue can feel his smile against her lips. "Is that so…" He dips his mouth towards her neck, allowing her room to speak—almost challenging her to.

Bitterblue thinks of the seabane in her drawer and wonders if she'll ever have to use it. She and Saf haven't gone much farther than this, but things have become more heated between them lately. Deep down, in her bones, Bitterblue thinks she knows why.

She manages to slip a hand between them and gently—but firmly—pushes Saf away, extricating herself from his arms. "It's not visiting hours yet," she says sternly, hiding her amusement when Saf gives up with a long-suffering groan. "If you're that desperate, you can come back la—"

The doorknob turns. Saf dives under her bed while Bitterblue lunges for a pen, attempting to seem deep in thought as the door opens.

"Helda." Bitterblue exhales with relief as her housekeeper swims in to set a tray on the bedside table.

Saf wriggles out from under the bed skirts. "Hello, Helda," he says, massaging one shoulder.

Helda eyes him, as usual, with distrust, but acknowledges him with the barest of nods. "Sapphire," she says, stiffly. "What trouble have you gotten into this time?"

"Why does everyone assume I'm always in trouble?" Saf asks, looking across the room to Bitterblue, amusement dancing across his features.

Bitterblue focuses on Helda. "Do you have a message for me, Helda?"

"Your mother—Her Majesty," Helda adds pointedly, a sharp look towards Saf, "will be waiting for you in her drawing room at four o'clock to discuss the details of your upcoming ceremony."

Bitterblue glances at the clock. "I've got an hour, then. Thank you, Helda."

Helda nods, glancing at Saf one last time before she shuts the door. Bitterblue reads the disapproval in the set of Helda's shoulders, the slight turn of her lips. Internally, she sighs.

Saf looks far away when he finally speaks. "I keep forgetting."

"Forgetting what?"

"That you're Lady Queen."

"Not yet," Bitterblue reminds him. The coronation isn't for another two weeks and even then it's more of a simple ceremony; it marks her assuming more royal duties, but her mother Queen Ashen is still in charge and will be for a while. Queen and Lady Queen—that's how things work, and Saf knows it as well as she does, so Bitterblue doesn't understand why he acts as if everything will be different when for all intents and purposes her life will stay the same.

At least that's what she tells herself.

"When are you planning to end this?" Saf asks, as if she is the one with all the power here, as if this isn't a mutual arrangement that has gone on between them for years, as if he doesn't know that she is as tightly tied to him as he is to her.

She hates it when he gets like this. "It's not like I'm getting married, Saf," she says, suddenly frustrated.

"You'll have to, eventually," he points out.

"Don't tell me what I have to do," she snaps, fingernails digging into her palms. "I'm not required to have any suitors yet, and my mother will make sure that I marry someone to my liking because she doesn't want the same thing that happened with her and my father to happen to me, and even so, don't you understand? I lo—" Bitterblue stops.

Saf is all flashing eyes and mocking grins, sometimes as bristling as a sea urchin, so she doesn't know where the word "love" fits into his vocabulary.

She isn't sure if it's even allowed to, what with the fact that she has a kingdom to inherit and the only things he has in his name are the gold in his ears and on his fingers and a small house on the Outer Shelf.

"Saf," she finally says, resigned, "Saf, please, let's not fight, not today."

"As you wish," he says, equal parts mocking and sad, as only Saf can be, and moves forward to kiss her. It's gentler this time, more restrained, and Bitterblue closes her eyes and tries to lose herself in it.

Tries to convince herself that she has not already lost him.