A/N: Hi all! I'm back. I'm taking a wee break from grad school and I'm using this to fill the time. I plan on finishing this story by May. Fingers crossed!

Also, I don't own Twilight or its characters. Obviously.

I really hate running.

You know those people who claim to love the endorphins that jogging five miles brings?

Yeah, I call bull.

There is not a more annoying sound to me than the whirring of a treadmill. Especially after jogging on one for half an hour. It isn't necessarily the noise. It has more to do with the fact that without this dreadful machine I would be even bigger than I currently am. It is also the reason for the constant ache in my thighs. Even after shedding close to thirty pounds of unwanted weight, it never gets any easier. Unfortunately it is a necessary evil.

The first time I realized I was fat I was in the seventh grade. I mean I always knew I was bigger than the other girls but I had never felt the shame that went along with being a few sizes larger than my peers. 11 years old is a young age to feel the need to start dieting. I was too embarrassed to be caught eating complex carbohydrates while my girlfriends huddled in the lunch line waiting to buy cookies and coke.

It was all because of Mike Newton. He was the first boy I had a decent sized crush on. And by "decent sized", I mean it lasted almost three years. It was the first boy whose last name I attached to my first, the first boy whose initials I would circle with hearts when doodling during math class.

He was also the first boy to make me cry myself to sleep.

I had confided in a friend. What else do you talk about with your friends in the seventh grade other than the boys you like? These feelings were knew to me, something I didn't understand. Mike made me blush and when he talked to me I barely could form coherent sentences, something I had never had trouble with before. Jessica was my best friend, and after telling her one of my biggest secrets, she told me she would "take care of it."

Later that day I realized her plan didn't involve one of those typical love notes you see a girl writing to a boy; you know the "I really like you, do you like me? Circle yes or no." Instead she had gone up to Mike during the middle of a pep rally and told him, "Bella Swan has a crush on you. You should ask her to be your girlfriend." I don't think she expected Mike to react the way he did.

Apparently he said, in front of all of his friends, that he would never like me, that he didn't want me as a girlfriend. In the response to the simple question "Why?" his friend replied, "Got meat?"

Now at 21 I must admit it was a clever reference for a 12 year old.

At 11, the cow comparison left me shattered.

After that day things changed. My opinion of myself was altered drastically. My opinions of other people were always slightly skewed. It affected my ability to talk to others, to make friends, and to be myself.

This wasn't the last time I would be ridiculed in regard to my weight. It was a trend that would follow me all throughout my school days.

A/N:Please review! I'll get back to you.