Title: Finders Keepers
Word Count: 639
Rating: PG, conservatively.
Disclaimer: Drake and Josh belongs to various people who aren't me. Please don't sue.
Warning: Slash and a reference to "Josh is Done"
A/N: My first bit of D&J fic. I'm still trying to get a feel for the characters and Drake seems to be coming a little easier.
Summary: Josh keeps Drake satisfied.
Josh keeps Drake satisfied in a way that a long and trailing line of girlfriends never had. Sometimes he wonders if this is iwhy/i he'd never stayed interested in any one girl for more than a couple days or weeks. Maybe he'd been searching for that one thing that makes Josh special in all of those girls and had come up empty handed.
That's not to say he's never been tempted, because he has. Oh, has he ever. Drake's always on tour or too busy recording to even sleep and Josh is always half-way across the country, sometimes half-way around the globe. Sometimes it's hard to remember that he has someone waiting for him beyond the bright lights and the throng of pretty girls. Even then there's always that little Josh voice that he likes to think is his conscience right at the back of his mind. Kind of like his own personal Jiminy Cricket.
He feels a ridiculous amount of pride over the fact that he's never strayed, never more than looked. He's stayed strong in the face of temptation where so many other musicians have been led astray. Drake Parker with his leather jacket and wicked smile is a one man kind of guy. If he could shout it from the roof tops he would.
That's another source of contention in their relationship; the need for secrecy. Overlooking a few exceptions the industry's still very cruel when it comes to alternate lifestyles. Even if the media and the world at large could get over the whole gay thing Drake's pretty sure they'd have a field day with the whole stepbrothers thing. So he hides from the paparazzi in Josh's quaint little suburban home when he's on vacation and shows up to red carpet events with skinny supermodels with too much make-up and not enough fabric.
It drives Josh crazy, he knows it does. Every time Drake comes home he can see the strain around Josh's eyes, the smiles that just aren't quite as big as he remembers. Sometimes when he's alone in his hotel at night and he's still jittery from the performance high he'll stare sleeplessly at the ceiling and think about all of those things he doesn't let himself think about in the light of day. He worries about what might happen if Josh ever decided he'd had enough, decided that he was done with Drake for good this time.
Drake remembers being seventeen and soaking wet, apologizing to Josh in front of an entire classroom. The whole situation had left him aching and wide-open in a way he'd never quite been able to get over and he can't imagine having to face that again after everything he and Josh have become. It would ruin him.
In an even more distant part of his brain Drake knows that Josh would probably be better off without him. He could move on and find some new, someone better for him. He could have a normal family and settle down and do normal things, instead of hiding from everyone. Josh could do better, even though he's still a big giant geek. Josh is handsome and he's got a good heart and a steady career. He's got prospects. But Drake can't handle the thought of Josh with anyone but him.
Drake likes to think that he's become a better person because of Josh, but at the very core he's still the selfish boy he'd been all of those years ago. Because he knows that he should let Josh go, but he ican't/i. He needs him too much. He can't give up Josh anymore than he can give up a limb, or air or imusic/i and if that makes him selfish then selfish he's willing to be. Josh is his and come hell or high water Drake is keeping him.
END