"She died! And I was only a split second to late. If only I could have…If only there was a way I could have gotten there a split second sooner…then she'd still be alive" Yusuke screamed, pounding his fists into the mahogany dining room table, shattering it to pieces.

"Cool it Yusuke" Botan stated rather calmly. The fact that she was sobbing didn't help the matter. "There is nothing I, you, or anyone else here could have done to stop it…"She pointed to Kuwabara, Hiei, Kurama, and Koenma, each in turn. All were together in the bleak, mundane room that was painted off-white, with slim to no furniture left in tact after taking beatings from Yusuke's angered fists.

Kuwabara pounced Yusuke and pinned him to the floor. Holding Yusuke's hands behind his back, rendering them useless, he then said, "Yeah. Cool it Urameshi. We've all lost people in our lives."

"But this is Keyko we're talking about…She was the only person who really understood me…who cared for me…before I was a Spirit Detective…"Yusuke shouted through tears.

"Get off him Ahou." Hiei bluntly ordered of Kuwabara. "If my sister were the one who had died, you'd be making as big of a scene as the detective here." Hiei pointed at Yusuke as he said this.

"Really?" Kuwabara asked dumbfounded. "Hey Hiei, who's your sister?"

"If you don't know by now baka, you'll never know."

"Well…fine then…"

"Quit arguing you two" Kurama intervened. "Yusuke's been through enough lately and you two bickering can not be helping him any. Right, Yusuke?"

Yusuke tried to turn his head around while being stuck under Kuwabara. Kuwabara, noticing this, slowly got off of him. After which he said, "Yeah…sure Kurama…" Yusuke stood up, shoving his fists into his pockets. "I'm gonna go take a walk…you know, to sort out my thoughts."

"Go ahead." Both Botan, and the oddly silent Koenma replied.

Yusuke briskly walked out through the cream-painted door.

* * *

Outside, the sky was filled with gray-black clouds. Yusuke shivered slightly at the temperature drop, due to the impending storm. Some raindrops began falling, and Yusuke looked up at the sky. Why of all people did it have to be you, Keyko? I mean, there are so many people who live here in Japan, not to mention in this city…That man was a killer…You could tell by the look in his eyes…And I killed him too…just after he killed you. Think of it as my revenge for your death.

Yusuke continued walking down the crowded streets. He passed countless people as he went, knocking into some people. Some yelled, "watch where you're going", or "What's your deal punk?" But he paid them no heed. He continued in his thinking, reality a blur. I've never had to go through this kind of emotions, he thought. I mean, I grieved for Genkai's initial death, but this…this is far worse. We've known each other since we were just little kids, and well, I don't know how to go on without her. Yusuke struck his fist into his hand as a thought came to him. That's the answer! I don't have to go on in this world any longer. I can't stand to live in this world without you, Keyko. I can't. So, I'll join you, up in spirit world.

Stopping still in his tracks, Yusuke put his hands in the position for the spirit gun, and held it up against his head. An elderly man, who had been watching this, came up to Yusuke. "Young man," he began, "What are you doing? There is no way you can kill yourself with a gun made of your fingers." He let out a small chuckle as this was said.

"Yeah. Sure gramps! You just watch me!" Yusuke screeched, the energy at his fingertip building.

"Surly, you are insane young man. I'll help you in any way you may need. Get you to a hospital for chance?"

"No. I'm not insane! Can't you see? I've lost the only person worth living for!"

The Old man only laughed at this. Yusuke, having no doubts in his mind, gathered all the spirit energy he had in him, into his spirit gun. Then at last, when all was gathered, he shot it (which is a rather great amount after all the energy he learned how to control during the final battle of the Dark Tournament against the younger Toguro brother) all at himself. At his own head.

For anyone spiritually aware at the scene, all that could be seen for some time was a light blue explosion of spirit energy, combined with the splattered blood. Of which, was all that a normal human being could see.

And afterwards, Yusuke dropped to the ground. The old man was stunned that somehow, the 'boy' had managed to kill himself. If anyone were to look into his eyes, they would have been a cloudy, gray-brownish color. His skin was cold. Yusuke was dead. Which was all he had wanted. And this time, he was unable to be revived into the living world. Yusuke was truly dead. And nothing anyone did or said could change that. His final wishes had been fulfilled. He was reunited with Keyko back inspirit world, while those close to him, (with the exception of Hiei, of course) were left to weep upon finding out that the body in the street belonged to someone they had known. Yusuke.

Author's notes: Thus was a thought that came to me and my friends at lunch while discussing our suicidal friend. WE took out a light Blue highlighter, covered a piece of paper in it, then took out a red pen, and made dots in the blue. This was the start to Suicidal Yusuke. And well, I just couldn't help turning it into a fic.

Japanese words:

Baka- Stupid, Idiot

Ahou- Moron