Working Title: Mini Van
By Spacegypsy1
Humor/romance
Daniel/Vala
Synopsis: Just a little short 'baby' fic for those who asked for a baby sequel to Driving Miss Crazy- total fluff. This is not my forte so I'm going to muddle through this.
Warning!!!!!! Baby fic! Yikes!
---
Part One: Knocked up
"Why?" Vala spat out disbelievingly.
"Because it's too small and dangerous for kids!" Daniel had his hands on his hips, his eyes squinted, and his jaw tight.
Vala rubbed her growing belly, "but I love my car, can't we keep it, we have yours.
"Mine's not in very good shape, we can't afford a Porsche now, Vala." Daniel tried to rub her belly, but she pulled back.
"I don't like mini vans." She was scowling now.
"Ok, we'll find a nice used SUV." Daniel's voice was growing tense.
"I don't like SUV's." Her voice had gone cold and low.
He only stared at her.
"Please?" She tilted her head but her comment was laced with sarcasm, "besides, you owe me."
"How's that?" He wanted to wring her neck.
"You missed the wedding."
"I was stuck on P3R-779! Locked up with Sam and Mitchell. Nothing I could do about it. It took a hell of a lot of work by Teal'c and Landry to get us out! Why do you keep bringing that up, like I planned it that way?" Daniel complained!
"You were locked up for three months, and I was knocked up, left unwed, and practically out of a job since no one will let me near the Stargate! What will people think?"
""I didn't know you were knocked up when I got locked up!" Daniel screeched. Then calming himself he continued. "People won't think a thing. Besides, we are getting married. Things just got pushed back. We'll go to Vegas." It came out with a little more spitefulness than he intended.
"I don't want to go to Vegas. Muscles says it's cheesy."
"Sleazy, he said it was sleazy, but it's not. A lot of people go there to get married."
"What about Mexico?"
"I don't want you traveling to Mexico, it's not safe."
"I'm not going to Vegas, you can just forget about that."
Daniel dropped his head and sighed in annoyance, "Crap Vala! You're being really hard headed about this."
"You should have found a way back!" She raised her voice in resentment.
"I couldn't! Damn it!" He raised his voice in aggravation.
"Don't yell at me!" Vala slapped his arm.
"Don't act like some nut case."
"I don't think I want to marry you." Her mouth became a thin line and her eyes glared at him.
His mouth dropped open, incredulous. "You're three months pregnant. We ARE getting married."
"How do you know it's yours?"
"Don't go there. That's not even funny."
"I'm not selling my car and I'm not getting married." Vala stalked out of Sam's office.
"Fine!" Daniel yelled at her retreating back then turned to see Sam staring wide eyed. "She's impossible, god, how I ever got mixed up with her is a mystery to me." And he stormed out right behind her.
Sam put her hands, steeple like, over her nose and mouth, but Mitchell could still see the laugher in her eyes.
Mitchell started out the door.
"Where are you going?" Sam asked him, laughter still in her voice.
"To P… P3R-779 to see if I can't get locked up for the next six months until this whole thing blows over!"
Teal'c turned to Sam and bowed his head, "I believe I will accompany ColonelMitchell."
---
Daniel found Vala in Sam's lab, walked in, tossed a package on the desk in front of her and walked out grinning.
For a moment, Sam and Vala stared at each other, then Vala picked up the package wrapped in silver paper with white baby carriages. Pulling at the white bow, Vala again looked at Sam.
Opening the box, she found a black leather baby bib inside monogrammed in red with the words, 'I'm wonko, but my daddy loves me anyway'. Vala burst out laughing and handed the package over to Sam, who grinned foolishly at the bib.
"He's absolutely adorable and I could just strangle him!" Vala said around her laughter. "But I'm not moving out of the guest room. It's only been three days, and I'm thinking that lovely place, Hawaii for the wedding. I haven't actually been there, but it looks divine on the internet."
"That's kind of far isn't it?" Sam handed the box back.
"Not as far as PX3-337 and that was my first choice." Vala took the bib out and stroked it lovingly. "It's so small."
"It wasn't his fault, Vala. You know that. We were trapped. Surely you can forgive him for that?"
"Humph! Las Vegas! I'm three months along and he wants to marry me in Las Vegas. What does that say to you?"
Sam reached and took Vala's hand, "It says he's so anxious to be married to you that he wants to do it as fast as possible."
"Oh. I never thought of it that way." Vala turned away, then back again, "Really?"
"Really." Sam went back to her computer screen, watching Vala surreptitiously.
Staring forlornly out the doorway, Vala continued to rub the tiny bib between her thumb and forefinger. A sigh of longing escaped her pouting lips. "I have to go. General Landry has given me a ton of paper work. I think he wants to make me feel needed. If it wasn't' for you and the general I'd go crazy. I might anyway. This is not like Adria, this pregnancy." Vala grimaced with a slight shudder of her shoulders. "My body is doing all sorts of strange things. I keep feeling little butterflies all racing around." She placed a hand low on her abdomen. "I think it's alive." Vala grinned awkwardly.
Now Sam burst out laughing. "Of course it is." Sam rolled her chair back and picked up a bag from the counter behind her. "Here, I got you this, but I didn't wrap it."
"More presents! This might not be so bad after all." Vala dug the book out of the plastic bag. "What to Expect When You Are Expecting. Catchy title." She flipped through the pages. "Thank you." Vala smiled and left the lab reading the book as she walked.
---
Vala sat on a bed in the infirmary waiting for Dr. Carolyn Lam to complete the bandaging of Siler's left ear.
When she finished Carolyn took off the sterile gloves, shook her head in utter amazement and finally looked up smiling at Vala. After washing up, Carolyn pulled the curtain around Vala. "So, how's it going?"
"You tell me, I don't trust myself to comment." Vala was not smiling.
"What's wrong?"
"I seem to have sprung a leak."
Concerned, Carolyn dropped her friendly smile and became all business like. "Lt. Brock! Carolyn called her nurse, "Get Miss Mal Doran ready for exam."
The nurse entered the confines of the curtain but Vala waved her off, "It's not that, I keep crying all the time. I don't cry. But now it seems I do. All the time. For any reason. Happy or sad."
Carolyn relaxed and nodded at Lt. Brock. "Thank you Rachel, go on and check Siler out."
Carolyn hopped up on the bed to sit beside Vala. "Need to talk?"
"Daniel." Was all Vala said.
"Hmmm." Carolyn listened.
"You know, I'm crazy about him. Actually love him, but I don't know how to handle him. This is all so new to me. This earthly human existence. It's the strangest thing I have ever experienced. How does one go about loving someone like him, and not getting all wound up and crazy? I'm completely out of control and I don't like it. It's like he's got some sort of internal mechanism that activates the need in me to drive him absolutely mad! He's adorably frustrating, utterly compelling, smart, sexy and funny. Hard headed, obtrusive … did I mention sexy?"
"Yes you did." Carolyn grinned. "He is that."
"You noticed?" Vala stared straight ahead.
"Oh yeah, in some other crazy life I might have steered in that direction. However, I saw the sparks between you two from the beginning." Carolyn puffed out a sigh and cut her eyes sideways to Vala.
"Really? And I thought you had a thing for Cameron."
"That too."
"Good, wouldn't want you moving into my territory."
"Don't worry, after getting to know the arduous Dr. Jackson, I would have injected him with something lethal by now."
Vala laughed. "I've thought of ways to kill him. I think I'm up to twenty-three."
The two women sat side by side in silence for a moment. "Well, I feel better." Vala finally said and bounded from the table.
"Good. Taking your vitamins?"
Vala curled her lip in distaste. "Yes."
Pulling the curtain aside Carolyn turned back to Vala, "A piece of advice?"
"Sure," Vala walked with the doctor towards the door.
"Don't waste time being mad at him, life's too short."
"Why does everyone keep say that?"
"Because it's true." Carolyn watched Vala walk down the hall, then shook her head to clear the cobwebs. This is by far the strangest job I have ever had.
---
While Daniel was buried in his books and artifacts, Vala had moved back to her quarters in the mountain without telling him. It was midnight and she was propped up on the bed watching 'Signs' and getting a good laugh out of the supposedly scary movie.
The loud tapping on the door did make her flinch. "Yes?" She called not bothering to get up.
"Vala!" It was the ever irritated Dr. Jackson, imagine that!
"Go away, I'm sleeping."
"Open the door!"
She turned up the volume on the television and laughed at the movie where the children sat with tin foil hats. Nothing else happened. She shrugged one shoulder, turned the volume back down and continued watching.
Daniel followed the guard he'd found back to Vala's door. "Open it!"
"Sir, I can't do that, it's on private."
"I don't give a damn! Open it."
The guard shook his head unable to comply, "Sorry, sir, I can't."
Daniel marched off in a huff. The guard looked from him to the closed door, rolled his eyes and wandered back the way he'd come.
Vala shifted her gaze from the television to the door repeatedly. Nothing happened. "Ah!" She shut the movie off and snuggled down, sad and forlorn into the little lonely bed.
In another part of the mountain, Daniel slept head down on his desk. He moaned with a nightmare of crucifixion, Goa'uld torture sticks and pregnant Vala flying an Al'Kesh through the galaxy laughing manically.
"Huh?" His sleepy eyed head jerked up to find Vala standing pajama clad in front of him, tears streaming down her cheeks.
"Daniel, I don't know what to do. What's wrong with me?"
Coming around the desk he took her in his arms, held her close. "I know." He backed away, kissed her sweetly, and encircled her again within his arms. Her hot tears seemed to scald him, bringing unexpected stinging behind his eyes. He rubbed her back with one hand, cupped her neck with the other. "I'm sorry I let you down."
"I know." She sniffled. "Let's go home, I'm so tired."
Daniel rubbed a thumb down her neck, gazed into her eyes. "It's two a.m., we'll go home in the morning, come on…" He took her hand leading her towards his quarters.
"I want to go home. Now. Please."
Nearly cross eyed from lack of sleep he nodding in acquiesce.
---
Snuggled in bed, spoon style neither could sleep. "Vegas will be fine." Vala stated quietly.
"No. Stupid idea. We'll do something else. We've got plenty of offers."
Vala turned to him. "What offers."
Jack called and offered the cabin. Sam's offered her house-yard, Teal'c has a list of thirty something wedding chapels and both Mitchell and Landry have suggested the Gateroom.
She smiled, ran a hand lovingly down his cheek, kissed him with passion and tears. "I wish we still had the Prometheus."
Before he kissed her he grinned, "Me too."
END