I don't care what they say about her. She would never break down. Any storm she holds she has learned to contain. Her good heart and kind spirit are never rewarded. Though she journeys on. There wasn't one person she had trusted that had betrayed her before we met. Even after I feel I have let her down so many times.
She never complains. She gives the benefit of the doubt to so many people. She continues to smile and trust. Because what else is there.
I find it harder to work with her as my feelings grow stronger. She is so tough and so independent and always taking risks for others benefit. One day she will do something stupid and get hurt. And then I will do something stupid to try and be her hero.
So many reasons why I shouldn't act on what I want. It in turn so many reasons why I should. Our relationship may be already too complex and now it is only recent that we have named our relationship. Being her friend may not remain enough. She gets too pissed off at me for me to be the one to make her happy but I don't like to see her in this state.
What the hell am I kidding? She owes me! I saved her life so many times! I told her I would give up all for her and proved that my life meant nothing to me without her! Didn't I deserve her?
No. No. I can't use cruel justifications like that. I am there for her. I knew that from near the beginning. And I am the one to look after her. Even if I am not the one loving her I will protect her. It's part of my job. She is my responsibility.
Ziva is mine to take care of but not mine to care for. That is the hard truth.
There is so much complexity in the way of Tiva. These chapters will clear the way and justify each meaning for his acts towards her. Stick round I am still writing B12, some NCIS one shots and a Harry Potter epic fan fiction.