Chapter 1
Sister of the Crimson Dragon: Hi! This is a random conversation me and my Otaku Howrse friend had. It first started out when we both realized school was the next day. Enjoy! By the way, my friend's name will be Kenjii and when you see no sign, that's what my friend is saying and when you see this "~" sign, it's me. My name is Jane Denver. WARNING!: There may be some chat speak from my friend.
Disclaimer: We do not own "Fruits Basket" but we do own ourselves and the torturing. If I owned "Fruits Basket", then I'd show this in the anime and manga.
~Me: Oh okay. *laughs* I'm bored. Like I said before, I'm trying to sell horses. But there are no good anime to watch. I'm kinda' bored of the ones I've started and I don't wanna start a new one just yet.
I am too... there's nothing to do
~Yeah! And with school starting tomorrow... *shudders*
Oh no! I forgot! Waaa!
~*cries tears that just flow like waterfalls like in the anime* I can't do it! Shigure!
Shigure: Y-yes?
Me: I NEED THE SCHOOL INFORMATION!
Shigure: W-what?
Me: GIMME IT BEFORE I CALL YOUR EDITOR!
XD same here Shigure!
~Me: *chases Shigure* YOU JERK! YOU BETTER TELL ME!
Kyo: *comes* What. The. *H word because it's obviously his FAVOURITE word*
Yuki: Ms. Denver?
Tohru: J-j-jane?
Shigure: Help me Tohru! She's worst than my editor!
Me: YOU CAN HAVE HIM, AS SOON AS I KILL HIM! (same phrase that Kagura said to Kyo)
XD *starts poking Shigure with a pencil*
~Shigure: Hey! You're so mean. Ugh, I'm surrounded by mean heartless people. I know, I'll call Aya!
Me: You dare call Aya and I'll act like a Hun and rip ya limbs!
Shigure: *whimpers and cowers in fear* Oh spare me, please!
Me: I will spare you, IF YA KILL DA PHONE!
*continues poking Shigure with pencil*
~Shigure: HEEEYY! I told you to stop!
You: No you didn't You said: "Hey! You're so mean!"
Shigure: I dun care!
Me: Ya should! Cause if ya don't, I'mma beat ya to da ground!
*sharpens pencil really sharp and pokes him some more*
~Shigure: AHHH! YOU'RE EVEN WORSE THAN MY EDITOR! I guess I'll go finish some manuscripts now.
You: *growls*
Everyone else except me, who sitting there with bored expression yet also epically awesome! *troll face(me)* *gulp* (everyone else)
You: *growls louder*
Everyone else except me still with same expression: Uh-oh!
You: OLD LADY WITH THE HAND-BAG ATTA-!
Me: (interrupts you) Um, that trick won't work. Try this one: *whispers in ear*
You: *smirks* *suddenly yells*: CHUCK NORRIS ROUND KICK! *kicks Shigure*
Shigure: *passes out*
You: *turns to everyone else* *growls* *sharpens a knife that came outta nowhere*
Everyone else: *gulps again*
Me: *bursting out with laughter* Oh man! Haha! I think we need to call Hatori. Hehehe! I'll go get him. *leaves room*
Kyo: Hey hey! Don't leave us here with THIS thing!
You: SPECIAL BROOM ATTACK! *attacks Kyo with broom*
lol i would never attack Kyo! *starts poking Kyo with what is now a very dull pencil*
~Shigure: So, you poke Kyo with a dull pencil but you'd attack me with a sharp one?
Me: Well, you're so perverted that I brought Kenjii (name for FruBa fanfic) here to smarten you up! But Kyo, well, he's perfect, so no need to smarten him up really.
yeah Shigure! didn't you know that? *sharpens pencil again*
~Shigure: N-n-no.
You: *growls*
Shigure: AHH! *runs away in terror*
Me and You: *laughs*
Kyo: What. The. Fuck?
Me: You set up the F bomb. YOU BLEW UP THE EFFIN' F BOMB! I AM ASHAMED OF YOU KYO SOHMA! OH GOD, PLEASE FORGIVE HIM! YOU BLEW UP THE F BOMB!
Kyo: WHAT?! I SWEAR ALL THE TIME! DAMMIT!
Me: YOU SWORE AGAIN DARN IT!
You: *laughs like crazy* C-can I, p-poke him now?
Me: Yes. Give him the free trip to Narnia and an impossible trip home! Or, a trip across the bridge to Terabithia and then DESTROY IT!
Kyo: Where the HELL is Terabithia and Narnia?!
Me: *gasps* AS A NERDY, yet awesome!, BOOKWORM, I MAY NOT ALLOW THIS-THIS, SITUATION! YOU'RE COMIN' WITH ME! *grabs Kyo and drags him to upstairs/his room*
Kyo: W-w-what?! HEY!
*sharpens pencil and follows you*
~Me: YEESH! ME NOW?! WHAT DID I DO?! IT'S THAT BAKA KITTEN'S FAULT FOR NOT KNOWING LIKE, THE BEST BOOKS EVER! I MIGHT EVEN SEND HIM TO THE HOBBIT OR THE LORD OF THE RINGS!
Kyo: I'M NOT A KITTEN, IDIOT!
Me: WELL I'M NOT AN IDIOT, IDIOT!
You: *laughs evilly*
Me: I'm going to poke this little kitten here not you
You: oh that makes more sense...
Kyo: WHAT THE HECK DID I DO?!
Me: *glares at him* you've never read Narnia OR Bridge to Terabithia
~Kyo: IT'S NOT MY FAULT! I'VE NEVER HEARD OF SUCH AMERICAN STORIES!
Me: *speaks with evil aura* Pity really. Shame on you. I SHALL CUT YA HEAD OFF! Actually, I've never read Narnia BUT, that's because I have like,130 MORE books plus manga. BUT, I've seen the 2 movies. So HA! Kenjii, you may attack him.
there is 3 movies! not 2! *starts poking both of you*
~Me: Well, I own one of 'em and the other is on Netflix. Although, I heard that there was another movie. But kitty here knows nothin'.
*sharpens knife* here kitty kitty kitty. *crazed smile*
~Kyo: THIS GIRL'S CRAZY! *runs away in terror*
You: Come here kitty. GET OVER HERE YOU BAKA KITTEN!
Kyo: I'M NO KITTEN DAMN IT!
You: You swore. You dropped the D Bomb. I AM ASHAMED OF YOU!
Kyo: WHAT?! I SAY THAT ALL THE TIME IN "Fruits Basket"!
Me: Haha! You finally admit that you're a fictional character!
Kyo: THEN HOW THE HELL IS THIS-THIS THING BEATING ME UP?!
Me: ... Because she's an OC in my epically awesome fan-fiction, a.k.a a fictional character that I ILLegally put in my FRUITS BASKET story. (you'll soon see or you will see a new FruBa fanfic, "In a Zodiac World" later on)
You: *thinks for a sec* Didn't you call Hatori?
Me: I- *gets interrupted by Ha'ri comin in*
Hatori: Hello. I got a call for some emergency?
Kyo: YEAH! AN EMERGENCY FROM THESE 2! *points at me and you, who are smiling like idiots. sarcasm*
Me: why you little... here kitty kitty kitty! *tackles* unlike you i am NOT a fictional character! muahahahaha!
Kyo: help! she's crazy!
~Hatori: *sweatdrops* Uhh...
Me: *smiles like a freak* Oh he's done it now!
Momiji: Done what?
Me: Wait and see. Hatori, you'll need to call the hospital.
Hatori: *looks at me with a confused face*
You: YOU IDIOT! YOU'RE A FICTIONAL CHARACTER! GO BACK TO THE TV! TO JAPAN! BE GONE DEMON! *throws random salt*
Me: Umm, salt doesn't work on Demons.
You: *thinks* Oh yeah! It works on the Evil Ice Queen/Witch from Narnia!
Me: Uhh...
You: BE GONE DEMON! *throws jalapenos, leeks and NOT-miso soup*
Kyo: *faints*
Me: That'll work! Encore, encore!
lol *grabs the knife i was sharpening* Hatori, would you like some grilled kitty for dinner?
~Kyo: HATORIII!
Me: Since when did you recover from your earlier faint?
Kyo: Uhh,
Me: KENJIII! IT DIDN'T WORK! KITTY'S STILL ALIVE! A DEMON!
You: OH MY GOSH! *throws sheet over Kyo and tackles him* BE COVERED BY LIGHT DEMON! BE AN AWESOME ANGEL!
Hatori: Do I still have to answer that previous question?
Me: Hehehe, why yes, yes you do Hatori!
Kyo: YOU MONSTER! GET THE HELL OFF OF ME!
Me: O.O YOU USED THE H WORD! YOU DIE! looks like we're having some kitty for dinner!
~Hatori: *sweatdrops* No thank you.
Me: Yaaay!
Kyo: J-jane?! THE HELL?!
Me: Bad kitty! BAD, BAD, BAD!
Kyo: I THOUGHT YOU WERE WITH ME!
Me: I was... under cover!
Kyo: WHAT?!
Me: *still sitting on Kyo* I would be a good kitty if i were you *waves knife in front of his face*
Kyo: I'm not afraid of you!
Me: you know... i just realized, you should be turned into a kitty by not shouldn't you? *evil smile*
~Me: THE CURSE IS BROKEN! *does little dance*
You: Maybe!
Me: WAIT! You're not hugging him nor... *remembers episode 1 where Tohru bumps into Kyo by the back and he transforms* Oh yeaah...
Me: *hugs Kyo*
Kyo: *doesn't change* Gerroff me you freak!
~You: *keeps hugging him* What's "gerroff me"? There's no such word in the dictionnary.
Kyo: THERE IS IN MINE!
Me: Umm, you don't have a dictionnary. You're too dumb to have one and don't have a lot of brain cells.
Yeah! Yuki's the one with the dictionaries! He has 2!
~Kyo: THEN WHY DON'T HE GIVE ME ONE?!
Me: Like I said before, you're too dumb to have one and you don't have a lot of brain cells.
*grabs a dictionary out of Yuki's bag and chucks it at Kyo's face*
~Me: *snickers*
You: THERE YOU GO, YOU BAKA KITTEN!
Me: You want another one? *picks up the other dictionary*
~Kyo: GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME!
Me: *sings* Kyo is a scardy cat, Kyo is a scardy cat!
Kyo: YOU'RE SO FULL OF IT!
Me: Full of what kitty?
Herherher, you're scared of me? Wow...
~Kyo: TO H*** I AM NOT!
Me: Than why are you yelling; "GET THE H*** AWAY FROM ME!"?
Kyo: BECAUSE I HATE THIS FREAK!
You: *looks like a kicked puppy* Y-you hate me?
Kyo: *blushes* Eh.
*starts to cry* W-why? Why do you hate me?! What did I ever do to you? When I watched Fruits Basket, I always hoped you'd be accepted by the others! So why?
~Me: Um, he IS accepted by others. He's just not accepted by the Sohmas. You're talking about Yuki.
Hush child! You're not helping!
~Me: Sorry. But yeah ya fat baka kitty! Ya betta apologize or they'll be a NASTY surprise in my Fruits Basket fan-fic. Oh and sorry Kenjii (you) but Kyo is paired with Brianna, another Howrse friend who's in my story. You are with... SHIGURE! Haha! I'm changing it though. :P
S-S-Shigure? b-but...
~Me: I know, I know. I'm changing it.
*completely forgets about my story* Kyo? Are you trying to escape?
~*Kyo nowhere to be seen*
You: Oh well, time to torture another Sohma. *laughs evilly, dark aura*
Sister of the Crimson Dragon: Kyo escaped! Lucky duck. But who are the next pair of Sohmas that Kenjii shall torture? R&R and find out in the next chapter! By the way, Kenjii is short for McKenzie, so Kenjii is a girl if you hadn't noticed.