Ok, at this point I will warn you. This is the result of an early morning rant with my brother on how FFVII COULD'VE ended, had Sephiroth been slightly more... well, a dirtier fighter comes to mind. As stated in the summary, this is very morbid humor. If you don't like morbid humor, now's a good time to back out, since this isn't likely to be your cup of tea.

You have been warned. -Spiritslayer

Cloud was staring down Sephiroth, holding his Ultima Sword in front of him. Sephiroth smirked, plotting his strategy as Cloud glared him down. He readied his Masamune and waited for Cloud to charge.

Cloud drew a deep breath and slowly began charging Sephiroth, picking up speed as he went. Sephiroth's smirk grew, his right hand releasing Masamune and manuevering to point at Cloud. No, to point past Cloud.

Cloud was left to wonder. Magic? A summon? I need to stop him now!

Sephiroth opened his mouth slightly, chuckling in his mind. "Behind you, Cloud. I see Aeris."

Cloud froze, spinning around. Aeris?! Where?! She can't be-- oh.

He quickly realized his folly as the Masamune slid through his throat. Sephiroth began chuckling darkly, gradually erupting into full-blown laughter.

Cloud's friends looked at the two of them, dumbfounded. "Shit," Barret said, breaking the silence. "Didn' see THAT one comin'."

"Me either," Cid muttered, scratching his head. "Didn't know the punk was that easily tricked."

"A... a trick, right? I mean, there's no way he was just--" Tifa paused. "Oh, never mind. Sephiroth just turned. Yeah, Cloud's definitely been impaled. He's fucked."

Vincent was trembling. "Now, more nightmares shall come to me. No more... no more..." he whimpered, curling up and rocking back and forth on his side.

Red XIII shook his head, sighing. "The easiest trick in the book, and Cloud just HAD to fall for it." He glanced to Sephiroth, one question on his mind. He soon vocalized it. "Hey, when you're done, can I eat it? I'm starving."

Cait Sith was fussing over multiple fortunes. "Huh, I don't think any of my fortunes could've foreseen this," he finally said, tossing the stack aside.

No one else said anything about the matter as Sephiroth lifted Cloud's body off the ground and allowed Cloud to hang from the blade, still cackling.

"Well, none of us stand a chance in hell," Yuffie finally said, breaking the silence. "Let's head to Wutai and just kick back until the world's destroyed."

Everyone slowly grumbled agreement, and they began filing out one by one, headed back to the Highwind.

Rufus shook his head at what Reeve just told him. "Well, Cloud. You've really gone and screwed things up now, haven't you? I thought you could do it, but NOOOOOOO. You had to go and get your stupid ass killed."

Reno nodded. "Fucking retard."

Rude just stood there, being... well, Rude.

Minutes later, Cloud found himself in the Lifestream. I'm dead... Well, hopefully the others can take him down. He looked around, and spotted a familiar figure, a familiar face. "Aeris!" he called, hurrying towards her.

She wore a discontent frown on her face. As he came in range, she reached back and slapped him across the face. HARD.

"Ouch!" he yelps, hand to his face. "What'd you do that for?!"

"Well, good job protecting the planet, idiot. I left the planet in YOUR care. With you dead, who stands a chance against him now? You're pathetic."

"Oh, um..." He looked around slowly. "Well, this couldn't get any worse, I guess."

She raised an eyebrow. "Want to bet?" she challenged.

It was at this precise moment that Meteor starting its process of destroying the planet.

Cloud slowly realized what was happening. "Oops," Cloud said sheepishly. "My bad."

Well, what'd you think? My brother and I were hysterical as I typed this, but consider the fact that we were sleep deprived. We pulled an all-nighter playing M:TG, listening to music, and just otherwise chatting. At one point, I resumed work on my larger story, The Galian, but I was ultimately deviated into this and then bed, having been awake for 8 hours since 11:00 at night (!!).

Oh, the things brothers will do to try and elicit laughs... -Spiritslayer