Feel Again

by Idril Carnesir

Axel says that the reason Nobodies sometimes think they can feel is that they're remembering what it was like to have feelings before. But Roxas's memory is just a fog before the Organization, so how can what he's feeling be just a memory? My first fanfiction, so we'll see how it goes. Rated T just in case.

Chapter 1: Fog

I sit down on my bed with a sigh, grabbing my diary and my pen to write down the day's events. I don't really know why I do it besides the fact that my superiors told me to. But maybe it's because somewhere deep down I still have the fear of losing even more of my memory.

See, when I joined the Organization, I had no memory of my life before the Organization. I still don't. As far as my memory is concerned, my life began the day Xemnas gave me my true name. Axel says that most Nobodies in the Organization have memories of their life before. Axel also says that those memories are the reason us Nobodies can sometimes seem like we have feelings; we're just remembering having feelings from before. But I don't have memories. So I'm not really sure how I think I have feelings sometimes. They just kind of… happen. They sure didn't come from the thick fog that is anything before I got my new name.

After I finish writing, I set down the diary again and flop back onto my bed. I'm in for the evening, since I've already finished working, and already met Axel and Xion up at the clock tower in Twilight Town. I resolve to spend the evening trying to remember. I don't really care what I remember, just… something, anything.

Anything to make me feel like I really did have a past.