Entry 33
3 years has passed scence he jumped. I feel alone. I feel like life dosen't have meaning. I need him. Without him i feel dead. Just like him.
John finished typing his entry, and he was suprised he did it. he never wrote entrys unless he felt... like not being here anymore. He pushed his thoughts away. I have to find a distraction, he thought.
[sherlock]
I watched him typing on his computer from in a flat across the street. Well... not a flat, it was the roof of one. I swallowed, knowing what i had to do next. I took my phone out of my pocket to send a message. But, I stopped. I could feel eyes on me. I looked up, meeting John's gaze. The moment I saw his face, I felt hurt. His face was the face of an angel, but I hurt him. I diden't want to hurt him anymore. I turned, and walked downstairs. I walked across the street, all the while feeling his eyes on me. I hated myself more than I have ever hated anyone, except the one who caused this hurt. Moriarti. I bit back the bitter taste in my mouth. I walked upstairs, as fast as I could without running. Once i got to the flat, I slowly opened the door. John was sitting there. By the window. Looking perfectly calm. With his angel face.
"John.. I'm..."
"Don't"
I looked at him painstakingly. Coulden't he see how much this hurt me? I diden't want to be "dead" in the first place. I wanted to be here, with John.
"John... i did this for you."
"Sherlock, do you have ANY BLOODY IDEA HOW I'VE BEEN? I thought you were dead for 3 years! I WENT TO THERPY!"
"I know." I said, fighting back my tears. I hated emotions.
"Sherlock."
*no response*
"Sherlock!"
"yes John?"
"Thank you. Thank you for protecting me."
I looked at him, suprised. "You're.. not mad?" How could he not be mad? I saw the state he was in, he practically looked dead!
"I am, but your back. The fact that you came back, says you did this because you cared."
Sherlock walked towards John, and hugged him, pressing his lips to his head.
"I love you john. I don't know how, but I do."
"I love you too, Sherly."
...
...
...
"Don't call me that."
"Of course."
"I sound like a girl when you do."
"Whatever you say, Sherly."