The Love Pirate
Barney the purple dinosaur…that was my name…but then everything changed. The earliest memory I could recall was the day the bombs fell. The day started like any other, the alarm waking me up, my dog spike licking my toes, and my commute to work. I remember I worked on the set of a kids show called "Barney and Friends" which involved me putting on a really bulky purple costume. I don't know why I even picked this job, I fucking hate kids and this costume smells like someone had the shits in it.
During a take I remember hearing a faint rumbling sound which I ignored and continued with the scene. "Let's help the bunny rabbit eat his carrots! Let's sing along to help me eat the carrots!" said all the kids in unison. They then broke out into singing with me operating the mouth piece so I could pretend to be talking while the real voice behind Barney was in the editing room. All the while the rumbling sound was getting louder little by little. "Little Bunny eat your carrots but don't forget to share it! Little Bunny eat your carrots but don't forget to share it! Little Bunny eat your carrots but don't forget to share it!" I could hear something akin to an air siren outside the studio walls but since the walls were soundproof it was really hard to tell. "Little Bunny eat your carrots but don-!"
Almost spontaneously the studio wall was disintegrated and the full force of whatever was happening swept through the studio. I remember seeing the flesh of the kids being ripped off midway through their song with the song being replaced by shrieks of pain. The rabbit was in a glass style cage and immediately the force ruptured the glass turning the rabbit into minced meat. As these events occurred within a few seconds I began to feel my flesh melting and merging with the costume I was wearing. As I laid in my impromptu deathbed I saw the studios roof was missing and was replaced by a massive mushroom cloud. I fell into deaths cold embrace as the smell of burnt flesh tangoed in my nostrils.
A/N: Im not crazy I just thought Id give the Barney Universe a new edgier twist. This story is not over yet.