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Randy sat down at his desk and cut on the lamp. Originally he wanted to write a note but now he felt the words begging to be freed. He pulled out some paper and a sky blue pen, that mimicked his eyes, and began..
Dear Cena,
You're a lying son of a bitch. You made my life a living hell. My very existence and will to keep going crumbled as fast as the words graced your lips and burned my flesh. You made me hate you with just 5 words. I was torn. Shattered. Deemed worthless. Nothing left but a shell of who I used to be. I was empty, so far gone I could see the devil sharpening his horns. If you knew how I felt you'd be here with me, begging me to forgive you for infecting me with your vile ways. I never went after you, why should the worthless seek perfection? For a taste? That's not enough. You gave me a taste of heaven only to drop me off on a train straight to hell. Heaven was when you looked into my eyes and said 'I love you.' Hell started when you smiled at me and said those 5 words, 'I can't do this anymore.' You made me the demented snake I am today. You ruined me for everyone. I want he'll, no I NEED help because of you... I love you so much. My heart bleeds at the sound of your name. J.. Jo...Joh...John. I haven't spoken your name since that day. Now I remember why, it hurts too much. I don't think you understand how precious you are to me. I would lay my life in a pit of hell hounds for you. I don't think the love and pure adoration I have for you will ever fade. I miss everything about you. Those annoyingly cute dimples, those innocent yet luring blue eyes, that deep baritone voice, and that Greek like body. The way your strong hands would touch me so tenderly, causing every hair on my body to stand. The chills that would travel up and down my spine. The breathy groans that would ghost across my skin as you hit every spot imaginable making my nerves tingle in pain and pleasure. The screams that would rip through me at your command. Your control over my body. A connection that I've never had with another being. Why did you leave me. You betrayed my already broken trust. The only mad I'd ever trust with my life is you. I wish it were me with you instead of that slimy conniving man I call a best friend. I hope he looks on as you read this, so he can feel the utter disgust I have for his life. I have not even an ounce of feelings towards him. He could dissolve in a batch of acid for all the damns I give. His betrayal pushed me down deeper. I wish I could convey how hurt I was and still am without ending up underneath a facility full of criminals. I love Cody like a brother. I would've given anything to assure he was protected and happy.. Teddy is a different ball game. I love him but his neglect weighs heavily on my heart. To know everyone I've ever loved left me down and out when I needed them most... I didn't write this for pity of to make you guys hate me more. I wrote this to tell you I forgive you. For all the pain and blood that dripped from my veins. I love you john. Don't let this weigh on your conscience but by the time you read this ill probably be gone. Somewhere far away, where pain can't reach me. Somewhere unknown that houses all of the lost, worthless, bitter souls. I love you too Cody, if you're reading this. And also you Ted, who I'm sure is reading this if Cody has. Don't blame yourselves. Everything done to me is directly caused by my endless faults. Blame no one but me and a God who cannot be found. Trust me I looked, cried and pleaded for him to show himself. To help me. To end me...
Love,
Randal K. Cena
P.S. Goodbye
2 weeks later
John was in the home he shares with his boyfriend, Cody, looking through his jewelry chest. He was looking for his onyx and red watch. He and Cody were holding a get together to celebrate their engagement. While looking his hand touched. Silver band with gold trim. He picked it up and examined it. Running his finger over the engraved 'Forever and ever...' He smiled as he remembered how Randy freaked out trying to find a good quote but realized simplicity was best. He loved Randy, he wished he would've fought for their marriage but he just let John go. The bedroom door opened and John quickly placed the ring back in it's corner. "Babe. Here," Cody said softly handing him and envelope. He was excited but he knew John wasn't in a good mood. John took the off-white envelope with his name written in red ink. The sticker used to close it had familiar initials on it.. RKC. For some reason dread filled his veins but he proceeded to open the envelope. He knew it was from Randy the moment he saw the sky blue ink. The words on the paper bought a river of tears to his eyes. Cody just watched John's oncoming melt down. He snatched the letter from the older man and read it also. Hi heart dropped to his stomach. "R-Ran.." Cody's voice died in his throat. This couldn't be real, why didn't Randy come to him. He would've worked thought this, helped him find a new love. Why didn't Randy just tell him how he felt. Cody's inner turmoil was interrupted as John fell to his knees and began to sob. "Why?" Was all he kept repeating. Cody dropped to his face and held him as silent tears streamed down his face. "Codes, is everything okay?" Ted asked peeking into the room. He had come earlier to help set up. Cody shook his head and looked down at the fallen letter. Ted took the hint and picked it up. Immediately Ted took out his phone to call Randy. On the third ring Randy answered and Ted put it on speaker. "Teddy," he said weakly, "I guess you read the letter too. I'm sorry to d-do this. But I can't take it a-anymore. I love you Teddy, stay strong for Alanna. Tell Codes and Johnny I love them. And Alanna too. I don't have much time but.. But p-pl-please keep going with life. All of you..." Randy's voice died and everyone in the room fell deathly silent, no movement, no breathing. John's body was shaking uncontrollably and he let out a loud wail before falling back into Cody's embrace. Cody looked up at Ted whose eyes matched his, overflowing with tears...
John came out of his trance, his eyes still locked on Cody's. at the exact same time they pushed away from each other. "Did you?" John asked. "Just see what you saw?" Cody finished his question. John nodded and Cody did too. "Were you guys about to kiss?" Ted's voice sounded from the doorway. "No," Cody said before clearing his throat. "It looked like it lord knows that would've killed Randy. IF you guys were dumb enough to actually do it." "You saw it too?" John asked moving farther away fro Cody. "Yeah, it felt so-" "Real cute guys. Just leave me to clean the kitchen alone," Randy said strolling into his and John's room with his hand oh his hip. John ran to him and pulled him in close, "I'm so sorry baby. I love you so much." "I'm sorry too, Ran-Ran. I love you big bro," Cody said sighing in relief as Randy smiled and kissed John. "I love you too guys. Ted, what'd I miss? Whoa," Randy said as Cody threw himself into his arms. "Nothing Ran, we just love you is all. And we feel bad for not helping you clean," Ted replied with a smile. Randy nodded and kissed John again before placing a chaste kiss to the top of Cody's head. "I feel left out," Ted said with a pout. Randy pulled him into their group hug and kissed his temple. "I still think I missed something. I never get this much love at once." "Shut up Randy," the three shorter men said in unison causing Randy to chuckle. Music to their ears..
Somewhere
Bob Orton Sr looked down at his grandson with a smile gracing his features. A deep ominous voice filled his ears as a tear glistened down his cheek. "You've done what you needed. It's time to come home." A white light surrounded him and he felt a weight lifted. When he opened his eyes he was in his old home, wings sitting securely on his back. He could finally be at peace knowing his grandson wouldn't be joining him anytime soon. He was happy and taken care of...