Chapter 1

The incessant knocking ran fluid vibrations through his apartment. His brows creased in concern as he rose from the couch and paced to the door, swinging it open in confusion. She stood there, hands trembling and lips fidgeting as her eyes searched his brown ones; fear seeping through the pupils as she gazed at him, sympathy scorched into the fainted lines around her eyes.

"Blake...wha- what are you doing here?" his left brow creased over the slightly condensed eye, bewilderment mixed with concern etched into the corners of his face. She smiled a broken smile as her eyes lingered on his for a second longer before they dropped to the floor.

"Can I umm..." she paused, her fingers rubbing together as her vision became blurred from her stare. "Can I come in?" Blake looked up, her eyes immediately speaking a language to him that only few could understand; luckily he was one of them. His face dropped as concern washed over his features. He gulped and stepped to the side tentatively; allowing her to walk into his apartment. The slow movements of her feet only emphasised the rise of concern in his mind as he watched her cautiously wander across the apartment. The rhythm of her brown boots tapping against the floorboards came to an abrupt halt as she twisted in her spot to face him. The discrete sunlight from the frosty winter's afternoon shone onto her back, fighting to skim past her tall figure.

Her eyes were focused on his now as he took a slow and careful step closer to her, gently stretching out his arms towards her ever so slightly to express his aim to comfort her. She took a hesitant step backwards, a creaking erupting from the worn floorboards. "I'm uhh..." Fear trembled through her bones, guilt burning her stomach as she stood still, trembling. Her head elevated upwards slowly, looking deep into the chocolate brown eyes of his, in hope they would calm her down; they did. Just like they always did.

"I'm pregnant, Penn." Her face creased into a sympathetic, half hearted smile. "And it's yours." His mouth fell agape, his eyes widening as he took an immediate step closer to her shivering body. Useless, one syllable words fell from his quaking lips as he outstretched his arms further this time; his hands resting timidly on her back. His fingers gripped at her coat slightly, pushing her towards him. She moved towards his open arms, her head falling onto his shoulder, her cheek lying against his chest; lips hovering just below his neck. He ran slow circles over her lower back; his head rested on hers as his quiet breaths travelled across the hairs on the top of her head. Tears formed in the corners of her eyes as she wrapped her hands tightly around him, clawing at the lower half of his back.

They were enclosed in a bonded embrace, memories and reminiscent thoughts fluttered around them, circling their figures. 'Two years ago this was everything I wanted' spilled from a litter of cluttered thoughts that span painfully around her brain. A comfortable silence encompassed them; time stood still as he took paused to absorb her words.

"I'm sorry" she whispered. His hold on her tightened at her words, desperate for her to believe this wasn't her fault and that she had no reason to be sorry.

"Oh god, Blake. You- you don't have to be sorry. I- I mean are you...are you okay?" He pulled away, hands still resting on her back as he searched her face for signs of distress, signalling at an answer to his question.

"Yeah. I guess..." a small smile crept across her lips, thankful he was so understanding. This certainly wasn't something he wanted when they were together or at least, not yet; just imagining what he was thinking now made her shake with guilt. "I guess I'm just worried about everything. Not just the being pregnant part but the..." she stuttered on her words; her breaths were ragged as a wave of emotion ran through her as the words rolled off her tongue. He squeezed her tighter, his hands continuing their cycle of her back. "I just...", she heaved, chest pounding from exhaustion. "Zoe is gonna break up with you and Ryan is going to break up with me and I just can't believe I ruined it all." He sighed heavily as he watched her broken eyes flicker around his shirt. He took a moment to respond, searching to find the right words before he spoke.

"You didn't ruin anything, Blake. Everything's-" he paused; taking a moment to truly convince himself of his words, if he didn't believe them, there's no way she would. "Everything's gonna be okay. I promise." His gaze rested on hers once more as he felt her body loosen ever so slightly in his grasp.

Numerous questions spiralled around his mind as they stood in comfortable silence, but he knew he couldn't ask them; at least not yet. Right now he just needed to be there for her.

Minutes later, she broke away from his embrace, tentatively. Her arms slipping from their settled spot on his back. She dropped them to her sides, hanging them in shame. She had never been this broken, ashamed, guilt-stricken. He looked at her, waves of empathy and understanding glazed his deep brown eyes, watching her mind race with fear.

"Hey it's gonna be okay, you know." He spoke, reassuringly as he followed her to the couch. She was so bruised and battered she couldn't even formulate a response. They sat in companionable silence as both minds raced with thoughts and ponderings. The noises of birds and the beeps of cars had taken over the atmosphere of the dimly lit room, breaching through the windows of his small, but unique apartment. The softness of the Brooklyn sounds were violently interrupted by the sound of her phone. She jolted in her seat, the noise awakening them from their frozen world.

"Hi, hi." She stammered into the phone, noticing the caller ID. "Umm I'm just, shopping, walking around a few shops." Her eyes sunk to the floorboards as she uttered her lies. She'd lied to him about a lot of things recently, avoiding one enormously significant truth. "Yeah, no we can do something tomorrow; I have the day off so...", faint mumbles echoed from her phone that was clutched in her grasp. "Okay, yeah. I'll call you. Bye." Penn's eyes were rested on delicate face, watching as she uttered through the lies and deceit.

"I should go." Blake looked up at him for the first time in a while; rising from the couch in the process.

"What no, I mean we..." He paused. "We have a lot to talk about". They stood; bodies metres apart and eyes resting at the same level.

"Like what? I mean what is there to say?" She snapped, pacing towards the exit.

"Hey." He grabbed her arm in protest and twisted her round. "I know this is hard, all of this. It's all…you know it's all gonna be hard but I'm here for you, don't think that I'm not okay? Or that I don't wanna talk. Because I do, whatever it is. I'm here." She felt as though her heart had melted in the past few fleeting seconds. She was so scared; petrified in fact that he would be angry and shout or cry maybe and throw things. But he didn't and he hadn't and he was being exactly what she needed him to be.

"Thank you." She smiled as she looked at him, trying to ensure he knew just how thankful she really was.

"Okay." He beamed in return, leaning to kiss her on the cheek. His lips softly brushed against her skin, creating a half smile in response.

"We'll talk tomorrow, okay? Right now I just...I need to be alone."

"Okay, yeah." She turned her back on him as she clutched at the door handle and swung it open. "Blake?"

"Yeah?"

"What I said. I meant it. And not...not just as the father." Tiny droplets of salty water formed in the bottom her eyes. A wave of emotions flowing through her throat as she gulped away the tears. She nodded as she turned once again, and this time she didn't turn back, and she shut the door on his confused and slightly saddened face.