Tomorrow Let Come What May.
He stared. He didn't move, he didn't even blink. He just stared. The scenery outside his taxi window whipped by him in a blur of greens and yellows. It was summer in Spain and summer meant only one thing to him, La Roja. But today there was no national pride, no adrenaline or thrill. Today, there was only a nauseating blend of dread and anticipation.
He could hear the cheers of the fans already waiting outside of the stadium, but his preoccupied mind paid them no attention. Droves of impatient Spain supporters, lined up for hours to see him and his teammates, could not drag his mind away from the feeling in the pit of his stomach. He closed his eyes slowly and took in a deep breath, trying to keep his composure as the car slowed to a stop in the protected underground parking lot. His eyes stayed closed as he willed himself not to let his emotions get the better of him. Not now, his country needed him.
"Señor Torres?" The voice of the driver pierced his mind and his eyes snapped open. His only response was a quick flash of his dark eyes. The driver smiled quickly into the rear view mirror and motioned to the door.
"We are here."
Fernando smiled again as he opened the door and stepped out, strapping his duffle bag to his back. "Gracias" He said as he tapped the ledge of the open driver's side window.
"My pleasure Señor. You bags will be arriving soon and will be waiting in your room. Buenos Noches" The driver gave a quick bow of his head and drove off, leaving Fernando alone in the parking lot. He took a long, deep breath before walking toward the door leading directly to the locker rooms.
Even though Fernando had one of the shortest trips from his current residency back to Spain, he was always the last to arrive. He had always blamed it on "family commitments" or his inability to get an earlier flight. Only Fernando knew the real reason, he was delaying the moment he would see him again. The one person that caused Fernando countless sleepless nights, daydreams and a chronic lack of focus, the six foot tall solid mass of Spanish fury known as Sergio Ramos. Fernando couldn't begin to explain why he felt the way he did. He was straight, 100%. However there was something about this man that made his heart soar and his stomach tense. Maybe it was the way he looked at Fernando? Maybe the way he made Fernando feel like the most important player on the pitch, even on his worst games? Or perhaps it was more primal than that…maybe it was the way Sergio's muscles flexed as he ran…
Fernando had no idea if Sergio felt the same way, although every fiber of his being hoped he did. However, at the same time, he hoped that he didn't so that the desire would be ignored so much it would eventually disappear. Nearly ten years had passed since they met and the feeling was as strong as ever. There were times when Fernando would swoon with the thought that Sergio felt the same way, times when Sergio's actions seemed to invite Fernando's desires. A friendly hug that was a few seconds longer than usual, a kiss on the cheek that seemed too close to his lips, a stare that appeared longing… all things that could be intended as innocent, taken out of context by presumptuous want.
The butterflies in Fernando's stomach began doing backflips as he neared the locker room door and heard the voices of his teammates grow louder.
"EL NIÑO!" Pepe Reina was the first to greet him as always. Ever since Fernando left Liverpool he missed his good friend dearly.
"Oh don't tell me they let your ugly ass back on the team?" Fernando teased as he pulled Pepe into a hug. "How have you been friend?"
"Good, Niño, good. And you?"
Fernando smiled softly and nodded, ignoring the gut wrenching nausea in his stomach "Good, same as always"
Just as Pepe laid a hand on Fernando's shoulder, the rest of the squad came over to greet him. Through the mass of "hello's" and "how've you been's", Fernando could only think of one thing; "where was Sergio?" He couldn't ask. No, that would make things awkward and obvious…even though the entire squad knew Fernando and Sergio were best friends.
"CAMPEONES!"
Fernando's stomach seized and his palms became sweaty at the sound of his voice. The deep and gruff sound of his Andalusian accent filled the locker room and made Fernando's heart flutter.
Reina released Fernando's shoulder and walked over to greet Sergio, as did the rest of the squad. "That son of a bitch" he thought, "he intentionally arrived late to catch me…" Fernando tensed his jaw and shook his head as he remembered all the times in the past that Fernando had avoided the locker room and gone straight to his room, just to avoid Sergio's greeting.
Fernando turned slightly toward the door, expecting to find Sergio engrossed in the affection of his teammates. Instead, the others had mingled off into their own conversations, the topic of the day was the new attractive sports newscaster that would be interviewing the team, and Sergio was standing there staring at Fernando.
"Uh…hi" Fernando stammered out
"Hi"
The distance between them may have looked normal to the others but spoke volumes to the two of them.
Of course, it was Sergio who broke the distance and walked toward his fair-haired teammate, bringing him into a strong hug.
"I missed you" Sergio breathed into Fernando's ear, causing his eyes to close and a small sigh to slip through his lips.
"I missed you too…"
Sergio narrowed his eyes at the tone and pulled back, looking Fernando in the eyes.
"You okay?"
"Yeah"
"You sure"
"Yeah"
"I don't believe that"
"Why?"
"One word answers are pretty much universal for 'not okay'"
Fernando shrugged and stepped back slightly "I'm just tired, don't know what else to tell you"
Sergio nodded slowly and smiled, tapping his teammate on the shoulder. "Well, lets wake you up then"
"What?" Fernando blurted out, his eyes wide
"Wake you up…like, with practice?" Sergio raised an eyebrow, pointing to the door the rest of the team had begun to exit through.
"Oh…right, yeah." Fernando cleared his throat and nodded.
Sergio laughed softly and tightened the laces of his boots. "You know, you can't hide things from me, I know you too well" He winked at Fernando "See you out there"
Fernando stared at the doorway as Sergio exited, flopping down onto the bench when he was sure he'd gone. "Oh my God…" He whispered into his hands. "He did NOT mean what you think he meant…it's just something you say to friends. Yes, that's all. Just something you say. Now, get your fucking shit together!" He scolded himself as he changed into his training gear, tightened his boots, took a deep breath and headed onto the pitch.
It was a typical summer afternoon in Spain, bright sunshine and a light breeze. Fernando glanced up at the stands with a hand shielding his eyes from the sun. The stadium seats were filled with excited fans, cheering for their favorite players and there was an entire section of people wearing Fernando's number 9. Fernando sighed softly and lowered his hand, walking out onto the pitch. "Do not make an ass yourself tonight Fernando…there are people watching" He whispered to himself as he approached Sergio and a few teammates stretching.
"Well, if it isn't El Niño finally gracing us with his presence"
"Yeah yeah, nice to see you too Juan, you dick" Fernando smirked as he stopped to meet Juan Mata for a hug.
"Come on, tell me what's been going on. How's the family?" Juan asked as he motioned for Fernando to sit, joining in with the rest of the squad warming up under Vincente Del Bosque's watchful gaze.
Fernando shrugged. "They're fine, Juan. Really good actually." Fernando awkwardly locked eyes with Sergio as he very clearly tried to avoid Juan's question. Sergio smirked back at him, knowing exactly what he was doing. The smirk caught Fernando off guard and he looked away quickly, clearing his throat.
"Nora's growing real fast"
Juan nodded as he switched the leg he was stretching. "They do that. And Olalla? She well?"
"At home, with Nora." He nodded
"She liking the new house?"
"I think so"
"How's Chelsea treating you?"
"Good"
"Your leg's all better?"
"Mostly"
"Still giving you any problems?"
"Injuries always do"
"Did you see a specialist?"
"Yeah"
"And nothing?"
Silence. He looked up from his stretch and looked over at Fernando, who was clearly stealing glances at Sergio as the right back stretched his left thigh. Juan stared at Fernando for a few seconds with narrowed eyes, wondering how long it would take for him to notice.
"Fernando" He called.
His eyes snapped up "yeah?"
"You okay?"
"Yeah"
"You sure?"
"Yes" he released his stretch "why does everyone keep asking if I'm sure?"
Sergio laughed softly and sat up. "Because you keep giving one word answers"
Fernando flashed his eyes at Sergio's smug face and sighed. "Look, both of you, I'm OKAY. Really."
Juan nodded and continued the stretch on his leg, but Sergio, knowing better than Juan, continued to stare at his friend. Fernando could feel the hot gaze of Sergio's brown eyes on his skin, practically burning holes into his flesh. He refused to look up, knowing full well that his own eyes would betray him and tell Sergio everything. He couldn't have that, not today and as sure as hell not with all these people watching. Fernando switched legs and breathed a sigh of relief as Vincente called the squad to formation. Now, all he had to do was avoid touching, looking, talking and acknowledging the very existence of Sergio Ramos. No problem at all.
"Stupid bitch" Fernando thought to himself as he leaned against the side of the pitch's barricade, his arms folded across his chest and his eyes narrowed. He watched as Sergio obviously flirted with the blonde haired TV interviewer. He heard the rest of the squad talking about her when he first arrived, and it matter nothing to him what they thought of her. But Sergio…it stabbed at Fernando's stomach to see him talk like that to her. "He's totally flirting with her and she's eating it up...wouldn't be surprised if he ends up taking her home. Then she'll spend the night. He'll rock her world…did I just say that? ROCK HER WORLD? Oh for fuck sake's Fernando, get your shit together." He cursed himself as he adjusted his footing, still watching Sergio with the woman. "I hate her. I don't even know her and I hate her. He shouldn't be talking like that to her…he should be talking to me. Why won't he talk like that to me? Because you're a guy, you moron. Sergio is not gay." The woman laughed cutely and placed a hand on Sergio's forearm. The contact made Fernando's blood heat. "Don't touch him, you skank" His words may have seemed harsh, but he'd seen enough pretty newscasters make their way through football teams, just wanting to get to say they've slept with a football star. Besides, no one in Fernando's eyes was good enough to touch his Sergio. Fernando growled to himself as he watched.
"El Niño, El Niño"
Fernando rolled his eyes at the familiar voice; Juan always picked the worst times to stop by for chitchat. Fernando had never been one for small talk but it annoyed him to no end when it interrupted his Sergio watching. He turned around slowly, stealing one more glare at the couple in front of the camera.
"That's me"
Juan threw an arm around Fernando and tugged him close, turning them toward the dressing rooms and away from Sergio on the pitch.
"Tell me brother, in your opinion, Nike or Adidas boots?"
"Seriously? Are you seriously asking me to tell you what kind of boots to wear?" Fernando shook his head lightly "That's personal preference Juan"
"I know, I know. But your opinion"
Fernando struggled against Juan's arm and tried to look back and Sergio, who was watching the woman writing something. "God damnit, he's getting her phone number" "Uh...Nike?"
"See, that's what I thought."
"Good"
Fernando turned his head back again just in time to see Sergio give the woman a hug. His stomach sank as he turned back to face forward, Sergio was getting lucky tonight and it was not with Fernando.
"So I was thinking of inviting the squad out for dinner, some place quiet where we can all catch up. Yes?"
"Okay"
"You don't have plans do you?"
"Nope"
As Fernando sighed, he heard the sound of powerful feet running up behind him. Sergio stopped as he wrapped an arm around both Fernando and Juan, a big grin on his face.
"I was going to invite the team to dinner…but it looks like you may already have plans?" Juan laughed as he looked back at the woman, who was packing up her camera.
Sergio smiled "I'd say that's a safe assumption"
They laughed together for a moment as Fernando tensed under Sergio's arm, staying silent and wanting to run to the cover of his room. Sergio felt the tension, of course, and squeezed Fernando's shoulder.
"You okay?"
"Yes. And I'm sure"
"Alright…just tired?"
"Yes"
Sergio nodded and smacked the men's back as he stopped walking. "I'm going to head out, I'll see you boys tomorrow"
"You're not changing?" Fernando blurted out in a suspiciously concerned tone
Sergio laughed slightly and raised an eyebrow "I came in my training gear, I'll change at home after I get cleaned up, why?"
Fernando blushed and turned away "Just a question, didn't know you came here changed"
Fernando scolded himself internally as the men exchanged their goodbyes. He watched sadly as Juan kept talking and Sergio walked out of the stadium, down into the parking garage. Fernando had no idea what Juan was talking about and honestly, he didn't care. All he wanted to do was go to his room, shower, sleep and forget all about what an idiot he'd been today and all the things Sergio was going to do with that news caster.
Juan continued to blabber on about various useless things as Fernando mindlessly changed into his casual clothes. Finally, Juan bid farewell to Fernando and said he would see him later tonight. Fernando nodded absentmindedly, and walked toward the stadium gates. His hotel was only a few blocks away and it was a quiet enough evening that Fernando decided to walk.
The hot water from the hotel shower drummed against Fernando's face as he stood with his eyes closed, his hands resting on the wall in front of him. His mind raced to form images of Sergio. Where was he? What was he doing? Who was he with? All these questions and more flooded Fernando's brain as he let the water run over his sore muscles. "He's probably with that girl…in his room. No, too early. Maybe he's getting dressed? Maybe he's in the shower?" Fernando's body started to heat as he imagined Sergio in the shower.
Fernando imagined his golden brown skin wet and smooth from the water, his body moving in slow motion as the ran his strong hands over his muscles. Fernando's hands mimicked what he imagined as he ran his own fingers across his chest and down across his stomach. Fernando slowly licked his bottom lip as he imagined Sergio's mouth drop open as he enjoyed the warm shower. It wasn't the first time Fernando had touched himself to the thought of Sergio in the shower, and it always started the same way. Sergio oozed masculine sex appeal and Fernando couldn't imagine him being shy about pleasuring himself. Fernando's hands moved down to stroke himself, as he imagined Sergio doing the same. His mouth hung open as he braced his back against the wall, moving his hand faster.
Fernando's fantasies were abruptly cut short by a knock at his door. He opened on eye and froze his movements, hoping he was just imagining things. Another knock.
"Fuck" Fernando whispered as he turned off the shower and listened again. Another, more persistent, knock.
"Fernando! I know you're in there, open up"
Fernando's stomach clenched as he swore loudly. What was Sergio doing here? He quickly opened the shower and stepped out, clumsily reaching for a towel, swearing again as he remembered his current physical state. There was no hiding that. At least him and Sergio were close friends… "Fuck fuck fuck" Fernando thought as he tied the towel around his waist and walked toward the hotel door. He peered through the peephole and spotted Sergio, dressed surprisingly casually and looking a little on the nervous side. "Maybe he needs fashion advice" Fernando rolled his eyes as he opened the door.
Sergio looked up and frowned quickly. "Oh shit…you were in the shower. Sorry man"
Fernando waved his hand and shook his head. "All good. Uh...what's up?"
Sergio shifted his weight slightly and licked his bottom lip, never breaking eye contact with Fernando. "Can I come in?"
Fernando shifted awkwardly and nodded, moving out of the doorway. He couldn't think of a reason not to let Sergio in, apart from being hard as a rock and wearing nothing but a towel...
Sergio walked into the sitting area and looked around. "Nice room, you stay here every time?"
Fernando nodded and stood by the bathroom entrance "Yeah, I like it"
Sergio smiled lightly as he sat in a large armchair. The tension in the room was palpable and the space between the two men spoke to their shared awkwardness. Fernando watched as Sergio crossed one leg over the other and ran a hand through his hair. He could feel erection twitch as he watched him…"My God he's beautiful…"
"Fernando…I think we need to talk"
That was never good.
"Why don't you come sit down?"
"Uh...um…okay. Just uh…let me change" Fernando nodded as he turned to go to the bedroom.
"No"
"What?" Fernando turned quickly, eyebrows raised.
"You don't need to change, you're fine like that. This won't take long"
Fernando could feel his stomach knot as he tried to keep his hips facing away Sergio, lest he notice why Fernando wanted to change.
"Come, sit"
Fernando slowly moved toward the chair across from him and sat, leaning forward to make the towel bunch up around his waist.
"What's up?"
"I know"
"You know what?"
Sergio leaned forward and looked Fernando deep in the eyes, his expression was unreadable. "I know. How you feel"
"I don't know what you're talking about"
Sergio sighed and leaned back "Yes, yes you do. Remember when I said you couldn't hide things from me? You can't. I see right through you."
Fernando put in one more attempt to deny "Sergio…"
"Don't. Don't lie." He leaned forward again "Look me in the eye and tell me the truth"
Fernando twitched and felt his heart start to race. His palms were sweaty and he shifted nervously in his seat. He knew he couldn't deny anything to Sergio, especially when confronted with it. But how could he respond to this? Not knowing how Sergio was feeling or what he was thinking? "Bastard"
"Sergio…I don't know what to say"
"Just tell me the truth. No more lies, no more covering anything up. And don't, for the love of God, tell me you're okay" Sergio's small joke and smile relaxed Fernando slightly. He sighed heavily and hung his head. He knew that Fernando was never good with his words, especially when it came to difficult topics like this. Sergio smiled softly again and stood up, walking over to his teammate. He kneeled down and lowered his head, catching Fernando's gaze. "Look at me" He whispered.
Fernando slowly raised his gaze and locked eyes with Sergio. Again, his stomach twitched as he stared into his deep brown eyes. Sergio's eyes were so expressive and warm, they made Fernando all but melt into a puddle. Fernando glanced down as he saw Sergio's arm move up and rest on his toweled leg.
"Your eyes always tell what your mouth won't" Sergio smiled and Fernando blushed.
"I know…"
"How long?"
"Since I met you"
"Why didn't you say anything?"
"What was I supposed to say? Oh hey Sergio, I think about you at night? Yeah right…"
"What do you think about?"
"What do you think?"
"I want you to tell me"
"Sergio…"
"Tell me"
Fernando groaned and looked away, his body starting to awaken again. "I think about us…together."
"And, is it good?"
"Yes"
"Better than your wife?"
"What?"
"Is it better than Olalla?"
Fernando frowned "Sergio, what the fuck kind of question is that?"
"Its just a question, I want to know."
"Fuck…I don't know. Its…different."
"Different, good?"
"Dude, what's with all the questions?"
Sergio laughed. "I'm curious. I've never had a dude like me before"
Fernando rolled his eyes and moved to get up
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I don't mean to make it a joke…it's just interesting to me" Sergio pushed Fernando gently back into the chair and looked him in the eye again. "Kiss me"
Fernando sucked in a breath and stared "what?"
"Kiss me. I want to know what it feels like"
"Sergio don't be stupid"
"What? You don't want to kiss me?" Sergio raised his eyebrow. "I know you do"
Fernando's cheeks flushed red. "Stop it"
Sergio smiled, his flirty and dominant side coming out. He stood up slightly and leaned in closer to Fernando, his breath hot against the paler man's skin. "If you don't kiss me, I'll kiss you"
Fernando didn't move and Sergio smiled again. "You were always the submissive one" He reached around Fernando's head and pulled his face to his, gently pressing their lips together. Fernando's stomach jumped and his breath hitched in his throat. Even the slight contact sent shivers up his spine. Sergio enjoyed the reaction the kiss got and he pushed Fernando back into the chair, hovering above his half naked body. Fernando moaned softly and cautiously wrapped a hand around the side of Sergio's face. "I can't believe this is happening...I have to be dreaming. Maybe I died in the shower… Fuck he feels so good…"
Sergio was surprised at how good the kiss felt, amazed at how quickly he was becoming aroused. That wasn't to say that he never felt anything for Fernando, of course he did. It was the extent of his feelings that surprised him. By allowing himself to take Fernando, he gave into the urges he naturally suppressed. He pressed his body into Fernando as he opened his mouth to deepen the kiss. Fernando immediately submitted again, allowing Sergio full reign of his mouth and tongue. They both moaned loudly as their tongues grazed over each other, exploring the other's mouths greedily. Passion was building inside of both of them and Sergio laughed softly as he brushed against a growing hardness beneath him. He broke away from the kiss and smiled down at Fernando.
"Feels good huh?"
Fernando looked up at him, eyes burning and breathing hard. Sergio looked down at the noticeable bulge in the towel and slowly ran his fingers across it, watching Fernando's eyes. Fernando exhaled slowly as he felt the contact. "Sergio…" He breathed. Sergio smiled and tugged at the edge of the towel, sliding it off. Fernando blushed as it became clear how excited he was. Sergio laughed softly again.
"Wow..."
Fernando blushed harder and looked away, struggling to get up off the chair. Sergio smiled and pressed him back into the chair.
"Sit…you're beautiful. I've never seen you like this."
Fernando slowly turned back to face Sergio, surprised at how heated Sergio's eyes were. Sergio licked his bottom lip again as he moved to take Fernando into his hand. The rush of contact made Fernando's eyes close and a moan escape his lip. "Jesus…"
The sudden sound of Fernando's cell phone going off caused both men to jump slightly. Fernando looked down as Sergio smirked and released him. "Answer it"
Fernando groaned as he reached across Sergio and grabbed his phone off the coffee table. He rolled his eyes as he read the caller ID and pressed the accept button.
"Hello Juan"
"Fernando! What's up brother?"
Fernando frowned "Just hanging out. What's up?"
"Did you forget about dinner?"
"Oh shit..dinner..what time is it?"
"6:30"
"What time were we supposed to meet?"
"6:00"
"Fuck"
"Yeah, you coming?"
Fernando gasped as Sergio suddenly took the phone from him. "Sorry Juan, Niño and I have some shit to sort out"
Fernando glared at Sergio, amazed at how direct that statement was. Sergio smiled his cheeky grin as he apologized and said goodbye to Juan before hanging up the phone.
"What the hell'd you tell him that for?"
"What? Its not like I lied, we are sorting something out"
"Yeah…but…still…"
Sergio smirked and stood up, taking off his shirt. "I hear the bed's here are great"
Fernando's eyes flashed with desire as he watched Sergio slowly undress.
"Yeah…they're pretty great"
"You going to show me or what?"
Fernando couldn't help but smirk; he was the submissive one after all. He stood up and brushed past Sergio as he walked toward the bedroom.
Tonight, he would not hide his feelings for Sergio. Tonight he would let all his feelings out and allow Sergio to explore his own. Tonight everything would be out in the open and tomorrow, let come what may.