It was a sick color red. A color that made him feel as if his stomach was trying to crawl its way up his body and out his mouth. The liquid was thick and warm; a liquid that could come from someone's body and his own. It dripped and dripped, slowly making its way down whatever surface it had placed itself upon. He had felt this substance many times on the battle field.
It mainly came from him, anyway. When it came from his friends, these people he now considered to be his family, the people that he loved, he made him paralyze with fear. Abandonment was one his worst fear, death came to a close second. Even though he had gone through hell and back training to be a bookman, he could never quite get ride of these terrifying fear of his.
The fear his felt grew even more when it came to his good friend: Allen Walker. The cursed boy was more than a good friend. He was his lover.
When he found the younger boys playing card in a pool of blood, he had come face to face with that fear and it almost drove him over the edge. It had to be up to Bookman to hold him together and continue to search for General Cross.
He was so happy when he turned up alive, but he got injured again. By him, his supposed best friend at the time and lover later on. Red flew from his mouth when he punch him, red was flowing down his face and mouth when he held him close and asked his he could hear his voice.
It was a red much like his hair, which scared him to a point when he wasn't able to use simple common sense. Without that, he could not tell himself that the gruesome images that showed themselves to him night after night where not real. The red was dripping off their deformed bodies and falling on whatever was under it.
Their faces. They looked like the soul he had once seen when on a mission with Allen, when they fought Krory and destroyed his akuma lover Elaine and told him that he should join the order with his ability to use the innocence.
He wanted them to go away. He didn't know what was casing them to appear, but he just wanted him to go away.
There were people in the world that feared what they do not understand. He had seen those kinds of people many times during his bookman training days. People running away from the homeless and the poor because they didn't unnderstand what it felt like to be that way. He use to think it was stupid and idiotic. But that would make him stupid and idiotic, because he realizes that he is the exact same way. And he hated it.
He didn't understand way he was seeing these things so he feared it. Like a close-minded idiot.
Bookman aren't suppose to fear anything.
He could hear bookman telling him this like he was in the room with him. That frightened him even more. The red-head didn't want anybody see him this way. It made him appear weak and he was not going to allow that to happen. He had to be strong.
For Allen.
Because wasn't weak, not at all. Right? Or maybe he was weak. He didn't know, but then again he didn't know really anything at the time. The bloody and deformed figured where getting clearer and clearer with each passing second.
Seconds, turned into minutes, minutes turned into hours. Time seemed to be taking forever. A second seemed as if he had just taken a trip to Asia and back. He just wanted them to stop, to stop dancing, to stop smiling, to just stop.
So he closed his eyes and curled tightly into himself, it was all he could do. He could see them if he had his eyes closed, but he couldn't fall asleep, for fear that he might see them dancing and singing in his dreams. So he just lay there, on the stoned hard floor of his bedroom, waiting; waiting for them to leave, for them to realize that he wasn't paying them any attention.
After awhile of lying on the cold floor, his body was starting to hurt from being in one place for a long period of time. He was starting to see the red behind his closed eye lids, slowing making its way from the top to the bottom. He sat up quickly with a gasp and a muffled whimper.
He froze.
Right there in front of him was…a body. It seemed solid, and it was swaying from side to side, hanging from his ceiling. He slowly got up to his feet, they were shacking violently as he made his way to the body that was hanging from that ceiling. He needed to see who it was, need to this the person face.
Slowly, he extended his shacking had to the limp hanging body. He gripped the black fabric of the shirt they were wearing and turned them around. He froze for a moment before backing away slowly. Lavi feel to the floor with a thud and scream.
It was Yuu.
But Yuu would never do that…would he? Lavi didn't know what was what anymore. It had to be another illusion, dammit!
He was plagued but these illusions for so many nights, nut never had he since one of his friends or comrades dead and hanging cold and lifeless right in front of him. Something had to be done about this. The only person he could think of to go to was Allen, because he knew about all this. But he could go to him, not this time. He had to go to Komui, he would be able to help. He knew about all this too, anyway, so there would not have to be any explaining to do.
He jumped up off the floor, his eye closed and ran out of the room. With all his training, he could make it to the science section with his eyes shut with out a sweat. He was wrong though, for he ran into several objects that were in his path of direction. The red-head ran into something solid, cold, and hard: a wall. Lavi gave up then.
Falling to the ground using the wall as support he stayed there in the hallway or were ever he was, his head in his hand eye shut tight, trying his damnist not to cry out of frustration. There was a soft touch and he thought he heard someone call out his name, but there was no way he could trust himself right now. The touch turned into a gentle shack, but he still ignored it. There was no ignoring when they roughly took hold of his face. He slowly opened his eye.
The surroundings were blurry at first but they began to clear up and Allen was looking at him with a look of concern.
"Are you real?" He asked, uncertain. Allen sighed and grabbed hold of his hand, placing it to his chest; the skin bouncing up with each beat of his lover's heart and it almost made Lavi jump for joy.
Almost.
There was a face flouting above Allen's head, tears running down from it's eyes. The tears were red; blood. He closed his eye again and pulled Allen in his arms, buring his head in his white dress shirt.
Allen's left arm came up and began to gently rub Lavi's back. He didn't really know what to do when something like this happens, he knew about his lover's visual perceptions but never saw him when they were in action. It scared him and worried him to see him so helpless. He would even begin to understand what he must be going through right now.
"Komui's." Lavi said quietly. Allen nodded, tucking his other hand under Lavi's legs and picking him up. He felt Lavi jerk slightly before wrapping his arms around Allen's slim neck. "You don't have to carry me." He said.
Allen shocked his head side to side. "If it's something I can do to help you, I'll do it."
"But-"
"No buts, now quite and let me take you the science section."
Lavi sighed but mutter an 'Ok' before burring his head in the cock of his neck. Allen had gotten so much taller in the past three years. Three years before he wouldn't even be able to pick Lavi up at all. He felt Allen rub his back has they made their way to Komui. Usually that would bring him some sort of comfort, but not this time.
He could still see things behind his closed eye. What he saw was the worst yet.
Allen, in the hands of the Earl. Dead.
A blood curling scream ribbed from his mouth and for the first time in his life…
He cried.
His mind went blind and the only thing he could really remember was Allen running as fast as he could humanly possible down long hallways and stairways. Everything happened so fast.
The next thing he knew he was strapped down to a bed with a bright light hanging above him. There were men and women in white lab coats hovering over him and smiling.
…Smiling? That wasn't right.
One of the men climbed on the bed, the stramped disappear and he held him down tightly. His face was black, he had no facial features at all. Lavi screamed and the men and women disappeared. He closed his eye again.
Sleep. And that's what he did
We awoke again when he heard a door creek open. Blinking, he turning his head to the side to see who the intruder was.
Allen made his way to the bed he was in with a tray of food in his hands, "Are you up for food?" He asked bring up a chair and sitting down.
Unsure of whether or not this Allen was real or not, he asked, "Are you real?"
Allen smiled sadly. "You've asked me this before. You tell me." He leaned over and kissed the red-heads check softly. Lavi smiled.
"Yes."
Allen sighed and glared at the straps that held down his lover. He didn't like that at all. He voiced this fact. "I hate that they had to tie you up like this."
"Why did they."
"Why? Because you were screaming and crying and kicking and biting and digging your nails into your arms." Allen said, standing up to untie his arms so he could eat his food.
"I didn't hurt you did I?" He asked, alarmed. Allen shook his head.
"You didn't hurt anybody. You were begging someone to kill you." He took the butle and pulled it until it came undone. Lavi sat up a second later, rubbing his source hands.
"I'm sorry." He said taking the food from Allen, and eating it slowly.
"For what might I ask?"
"For you having to see what you had to. You see so many disturbing things everyday with that eye of your. I don't really have a right to complain." He said, setting his food aside and looking at his lover seriously. He looked a bit taken back.
"Look, it's alright. There is no need what so ever to apologize to me. You did not wrong. Sp what if you were scared, it happens to everyone. Even the soul-seeing-eye boy over that you seem so oddly fond of.
Lavi laughed slightly and lied back down; he took Allen's hand in his. "I love you."
"I love you, too" He relied leaning down the kiss Lavi's thin pale lips. "Now get some sleep, I'll be hear well you wake up."
And Allen was there, but Lavi never woke again.
This story was originally written back in 2010. I decided to rewrite it and fix mistakes that I had made.
It was inspired by the anime Higurashi and Evanescence songs "Haunted" and "Bleed."