Hey :) I'm back! With a new fandom to write for, too! Clannad this time. I've never written for Clannad before, but this just popped into my head while I was watching Afterstory for the first time and I had to write it. It takes place after Nagisa's death, before he starts living with Ushio again.
Gone.
That was the thought that passed through Tomoya's head as he threw his fist against the wall.
Nagisa.
His love.
His wife.
Dead. Gone. Passed on. Whatever you called it, she was just that - gone. And it was all his fault. He never should have met her. He should have kept walking that day. The drama club shouldn't have mattered to him. She shouldn't have mattered to him.
Because if he had never met her, he wouldn't be in so much pain. He wouldn't be standing there, punching the life out of his bedroom wall, languishing and wasting away, if he had never met Nagisa. Perhaps it was also her fault then, with her charming allure and subtle, yet undeniable, sweetness.
No. It wasn't her fault. She was too innocent, too kind. He thought of her smile. Her eyes. That way that she laughed at the simplest of things, and cried at the best - and the worst. Her determination. Her strength. Her beauty.
No, it couldn't be her fault, not with all those wonderful qualities she had had.
Which led to the sole conclusion that it had, in fact, been Tomoya's fault.
And he hated himself for it. Hated himself for falling in love with her, because if he hadn't, then they wouldn't have been married. They never would have been married, and she never would have been pregnant. And she never would have wanted to have the baby despite the complications, and she never would have died.
Yes. It was all his fault. And there wasn't a goddamned thing he could do about it. He was doomed to love her, and no one else. Forever.
Aha, this is depressing. O.o really shows the effect chem class has on me, since I wrote this then.
Let me know your thoughts and suggestions in a review :) xx.