Okay, I am going to be honest with you: I am SO sorry for not updating my stories lately. You see, I have had personal problems and Hunting has been out of town, so that puts a stop to the collaboration. Anyway, like I said, I am immensely sorry. If it's any consolation, I am working on four different AU's which are all super epic ... (actually, I have no idea how that would be comforting, just putting it out there.)

On with the real topic! This is fluff—like major fluff, like really, really (and I mean really) fluffy fluff. Since I am out of ways to describe it, I'll just get on with it.

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, though I wonder in what alternate universe I do ...

Lives On Hold

"Come on, come on! Pick up the darn phone!"

I was getting tired of this. I had tried to call Alice over ten times to possibly persuade her to stop all the plans she had for me. I made it sound like it was something dastardly—which, in my perspective, it was, but she was just looking out for me. Again.

"Stupid overprotective vampires!"

"What did I do?" someone whispered, touching my neck with cold marble fingers. "I thought it was established that I was just naturally overprotective for your well-being."

I sighed, hanging up the phone and turning to bury my face in his chest. "Not you, Edward. I meant your sister."

He kissed the top of my hair, tilting my chin up with one of his thin fingers, forcing me to look at his scorching butterscotch eyes. My heart accelerated on its own accord.

He smiled. "Does that mean I have your permission to be protective over you?" His eyes danced with mischief, and I was afraid of which answer he wanted me to say.

I pursed my lips, trying to achieve a level of nonchalance that I knew was impossible with such close contact between us. I caught a hair that was dancing in front of eyes and moved it out of my way. "Maybe?" I squeaked.

"Maybe," he repeated blankly. He started laughing then that I found it hard to catch up to his new mood swing.

Edward leaned in until our noses were touching. "What I wouldn't give to know what you were thinking right at this moment."

I felt my blush creep up and my heart go into a near frenzy.

I stuttered for my words, knowing he was dazzling me in illiteracy. "What I wouldn't give for you to kiss me."

I wanted to hit myself in the head. It was one thing to not be able to not be able to form words, that way my embarrassment was only internal. But it was a different thing entirely when my words were too stupid to even begin to understand where they had come from. It wasn't that I didn't want him to kiss me; I wanted that every moment of every day. It was the fact that I had turned his words into a teen-aged conversation.

He surprised me by chuckling, his eyes darker than the honey they had been a moment ago. "You wouldn't have to give anything," he mumbled, kissing my jawline. "It would be my pleasure."

His lips captured mine then, and I was no longer responsible for what I did. My hands wrapped around him, playing with the ends of his auburn hair, and pushed against him.

He smiled under my lips, giving me a moment to catch my breath, though his was just as ragged. Then, with a movement so fast I was sure I would have never thought to see it coming, we were on my bed, with him hovering over me.

I almost wanted to cry to see how beautiful he was; it was too much for anyone to really ever bare. I pulled his face back to mine, trying to ignore my racing heart and my flushed face. He seemed to understand my request, as he kissed me again, rougher than last time, with more urgency.

I was at a high, one I had really only felt the day he officially proposed and that day at the meadow . . . The memory was fresh, making me want to groan as I realized that I would have to be the one that was responsible again.

I didn't want to though, and it was only when I realized that his shirt was on the ground that I had any recognition that we were going anywhere at all.

"Edward," I said, trying to pull him off me. But my tone was too out of breath, too shocked, that sounded more like a moan.

He kissed my collarbone. Now, I really didn't want to stop him. My hands traveled down his chest and I completely forgot about anything and everything. I was in my own world, my happy place.

An obscene ringing brought me out of my fantasies. I ignored it, willing it to go away, but it just wouldn't!

I groaned, opening my eyes and looking at Edward.

"Just ignore it, love," he pleaded, moving closer so that he was the only thing I could see.

There was a beep as the answering machine took the call.

"Bella and Edward!"

I jumped, landing square into Edward's arms as he rolled over so that he was on his back.

"Dammit," he muttered, burying his head in my hair. "Of all the times for her to call ..."

And I knew what he meant. It was Alice on the line, calling back to all my phone calls. Now I just wished I had never made them. I sighed, waiting to hear her voice again.

"I know you two are there and I know what you are doing!" Alice warned, managing to sound menacing even through an inanimate object. "You called me to cancel the plans—I know—but that was never really going to work, Bella. I'm calling to make sure you don't do anything stupid, because I know you were about to."

I groaned as I tried to regain my breathing, laying my head on Edward's chest. It seemed he was trying to do the same, only he was angrier. He pulled a hand through his hair, pinching the brig of his nose.

"And I know you two are mad," Alice continued, "but you'll thank me in the long run. I'll see you two later; and, don't worry, I won't tell Emmett. Unless you force my hand. Bye!"

I crossed my arms over my chest. "Well, at least I don't have to be responsible—I wouldn't have been able to do it this time."

Edward raised an eyebrow and looked at me. "Responsible? Why on Earth would you want to be responsible about us?"

I bit my lip. "I told you I wanted to do it the right way," I whispered.

His eyes widened slightly and he pulled be to him. "Sorry, love, I didn't mean it like that. I guess I deluded myself into thinking it was what you wanted."

"Silly vampire," I laughed. "Of course it's what I want."

He opened his mouth, clearly to check my sanity, but I put a finger up, making him wait as I collected my thoughts.

"It is what I want. But it's not what you want, not what you really want to do."

He smiled darkly, his eyes darkening to almost pure black with hunger—though this was the type of hunger that I liked. "I have a pretty good idea of what I want, and it is not what you think it is."

He leaned in to kiss me, but I put my finger to his lips. "Not now. Not only would sister call to interrupt again, but I have to keep a straight head about this. I think it will be better if we just wait until after the wedding."

The lust seemed to grow instead of decrease in his eyes, but he reigned it in, kissing both my cheeks and resting his forehead on mine. "You have no idea how much the thought of you as my bride delights me." He closed his eyes, seeming to rest for a while.

"And you have no idea how much the thought of a wedding completely terrifies me," I teased, trying to keep the conversation light.

His lips pulled at the edges and he opened his eyes; they were a golden honey now, the hunger gone. "I'll get you to be happy about it someday."

"Who said I wasn't happy to have a legal document to claim you as mine and mine alone?"

He kissed my nose. "You are so childish sometimes."

I raised an eyebrow.

"You don't need to prove with any type of paper that I am yours. I already gave myself to you the first moment I found out I loved you."

I smiled and rested my head on his still-bare chest. "I wonder who was the first to find out they loved the other."

He didn't even stop to think. "I was."

"I don't think so. I think it was me."

"What makes you say that?"

I looked into his eyes. "I realized it the same moment you found me in Port Angeles."

He smiled wide. "Then I win. I found out the day I started ignoring you; that was the reason I was doing it, you know."

I pouted. "No fair!"

He chuckled at my outburst, getting up from the bed and taking me with him. "Uh, where are we going?"

"Isn't it obvious?" he teased, reaching down to put his shirt on in one lithe movement. I missed the sight immediately. "To go kill Alice."

I walked towards him, getting up on my tip-toes so that I could kiss him. "Can't we just put her on hold?"

"Sure, why not?" he asked rhetorically.

He grabbed me around the waist and kissed me gently. "I love you," he murmured.

I smiled into the kiss, but quickly separated myself from him and ran out the door. "I love you more!"

I heard a growl behind me until an iron harness wrapped around my body. "You are one dangerous woman."

I made a noise that was half between a shriek and a laugh. "And don't you forget it!"

I really have no idea what that was just then ... I got bored. Anyway, tell me what you think: if you got completely disgusted or you actually enjoyed it. Even though writer's don't like them, I'll take a flame over nothing any day!

Also, I would like to inform everyone that I have written a parody one-shot of Twilight. To any hardcore fans—like myself—don't worry, it's not offensive; at least I don't think so. I would really appreciate it if you guys would read that story and review. But onward!

REVIEWS make the robots sparkly!