Reconciliation - Part One
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Let us all praise Joss Whedon for them.
*****
His cold black fingernails press lightly against the Summer's doorbell. After what happened last time he was there, he thought it best if he rang. He knew nobody would be happy to see him, they never were. But this time, it would be different. He could barely stand to be around himself. What he did, the things he said. Nobody could ever feel as disappointed, ashamed, as cold or alone as he did. Ever.
*****
Dawn and Tara are slumped sitting on the couch of the Summer's residence.
"Wanna make brownies. I found a new recipe. It includes getting really messy." Tara asked Dawn hopefully.
Dawn shakes her head "Not really in the messy-chocolately sort of mood."
"Oh okay," Tara shrugged, "thumb war?"
"You're on" Dawn smiled.
They grabbed hands and counted to three. They were just getting into it as the doorbell rang. Dawn looked up and Tara pressed her thumb down.
"Ha! I won" Tara proclaimed
"Only by default." Dawn got up from the couch to answer the door. "When I get back, prepare be whooped!"
Dawn reached for the doorknob. It was so cold. The feel of the doorknob chilled her whole body. She knew something was out there. Something not human. But the cold felt familiar. She had felt this before. She turned the doorknob and the door crept open. She found herself staring at charcoal black boots. She looked up and saw a familiar black trench coat. She knew who it was. She looked up, extremely startled, only to see a tired, worn out Spike with his hair messed and his thick dark roots creeping through. She jumped.
*****
It killed Spike to see Dawn like this. He was someone she trusted, or someone she used to trust. When he looked into her eyes he used to see admiration and glee. Now all he could see was is fear.
She backed away slowly, fear and shock in her eyes. He didn't move. He knew it would only make things worse. He didn't know what to say. He should have prepared himself. He opened his mouth slightly and started to speak.
"D-"
"No. Don't. I don't want to hear it. Whatever you were planning to say. just don't. I don't want you to try to make things better with me so you can make them better with Buffy"
He just stood there. He was going to say something, but decided it was best to let her talk. He just looked at her, straight in the eyes. He knew what she was going to say. He had said it to himself more than enough times. But he needed to hear it from somebody else, somebody that wasn't him.
"I know I was your best shot for reconciliation, but it is not going to work that way. Not this time. You hurt Buffy, my sister. One of the only things I have left in my life that means something to me! You cannot just come back and expect to make it better with your dumb British charm. No, nu- uh." It was awkward and silent for a second. "Aren't you going to say something!? You can't just do that!"
"Do what?" The words came out so quickly that Spike hadn't realized he had said anything.
"Stand there! Don't! Either say something or leave." She demanded.
"But-"
"I know I said not to say something but that doesn't mean you shouldn't! You've been alive for like, ever, and you still have no clue what the hell your doing!" She yelled and slammed the door in his face.
She was right. He had no clue what he was doing. He should probably just go back. And stay there. This would never work. Buffy wouldn't love him. She couldn't. Maybe before there could have been something, but now. no, she would never.
Spike started to walk away from the house, when he heard the door open and a soft voice.
"Why didn't you say anything to her?"
Spike turned around to see Tara standing in the doorway.
*****
"So Buff, big plans for tonight. Y'know seeing how it's. well. Tuesday and everything." Xander was sitting at a small round table with Willow and Buffy at the Bronze.
Buffy laughed. "Nah. I'll probably patrol a bit. You know, stake a little here, pun a little there. Just your run-of-the-mill patrol."
"Maybe you'll run into a certain head over heels in love with you bleached vampire." Willow said with enthusiasm.
Xander's eyes widen. "Oh, here's hopin!" He says sarcastically crossing his fingers.
"W-well, it's just that, y'know. He has been gone a long time." Willow said in defense.
"Good" snapped Xander
"Xander!" Willow yelled in annoyance. "Hey, guys," Buffy jumped in, " it isn't a big deal. Nothing to get all messed up about. But, things have pretty much been better without him here." Xander looks satisfied. "I never have to worry about him busting in on a patrol," Buffy continued, leaving Xander with no choice but to get up and get a soda, "It is strange, but it's all." Buffy notices a man in a black jacket with bleached hair. Still talking, she gets up and walks towards him. "better now. Uh, excuse me."
Buffy taps the man on his shoulder. He turned around and smiled at her. He looked to be about 17 with a shirt reading "Metallica" in bold silver letters.
"O-oh" Buffy seemed disappointed, "Sorry." She slowly turned her back toward the man and walked away.
"Uh, guys. I think I'm gonna book. I have to get home to Dawn." Buffy explained.
"Ok. Will and I are gonna head on out to the dance floor."
"Yeah. See you at home Buffy." Willow and Xander walked off.
Buffy sighed heavily and left the Bronze, heading for the cemetery.
*****
"To who?" he asked Tara, the concern rising in his voice. "Say something to who?"
"You know who I am talking about. You hurt her. I don't think I have ever seen her so upset before. Sp-"
"I know. I hurt her. I cannot live with that. That's why I am leavin this bloody town. I'll never be back. You won't have to here from me again, pet, I swear it. To hurt Buffy like that I. I just don't know."
"I wasn't talking about Buffy. Yes, she was hurt, but she got over that. She has been through a hell of a lot worse. She is a strong person. But Dawn she..." Her voice began to trail off.
"Dawn? Look, I didn't mean the hurt the little girl. That wasn't my purpose. I don't know what my purpose was."
"Stop it Spike! Stop trying to make things right with me. Telling me this is not going to do any good. You were one of the few people Dawn trusted. She relied on you to protect her. The things you do make a big impact on many people, not just yourself. Your actions were selfish, yes, but get over that. Make things right. Before it is too late. If you don't, you will regret it. Believe me."
Spike turned his back to the door. He stood there for a second, trying to figure it all out. He then softly heard the door shut, and walked away.
*****
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Let us all praise Joss Whedon for them.
*****
His cold black fingernails press lightly against the Summer's doorbell. After what happened last time he was there, he thought it best if he rang. He knew nobody would be happy to see him, they never were. But this time, it would be different. He could barely stand to be around himself. What he did, the things he said. Nobody could ever feel as disappointed, ashamed, as cold or alone as he did. Ever.
*****
Dawn and Tara are slumped sitting on the couch of the Summer's residence.
"Wanna make brownies. I found a new recipe. It includes getting really messy." Tara asked Dawn hopefully.
Dawn shakes her head "Not really in the messy-chocolately sort of mood."
"Oh okay," Tara shrugged, "thumb war?"
"You're on" Dawn smiled.
They grabbed hands and counted to three. They were just getting into it as the doorbell rang. Dawn looked up and Tara pressed her thumb down.
"Ha! I won" Tara proclaimed
"Only by default." Dawn got up from the couch to answer the door. "When I get back, prepare be whooped!"
Dawn reached for the doorknob. It was so cold. The feel of the doorknob chilled her whole body. She knew something was out there. Something not human. But the cold felt familiar. She had felt this before. She turned the doorknob and the door crept open. She found herself staring at charcoal black boots. She looked up and saw a familiar black trench coat. She knew who it was. She looked up, extremely startled, only to see a tired, worn out Spike with his hair messed and his thick dark roots creeping through. She jumped.
*****
It killed Spike to see Dawn like this. He was someone she trusted, or someone she used to trust. When he looked into her eyes he used to see admiration and glee. Now all he could see was is fear.
She backed away slowly, fear and shock in her eyes. He didn't move. He knew it would only make things worse. He didn't know what to say. He should have prepared himself. He opened his mouth slightly and started to speak.
"D-"
"No. Don't. I don't want to hear it. Whatever you were planning to say. just don't. I don't want you to try to make things better with me so you can make them better with Buffy"
He just stood there. He was going to say something, but decided it was best to let her talk. He just looked at her, straight in the eyes. He knew what she was going to say. He had said it to himself more than enough times. But he needed to hear it from somebody else, somebody that wasn't him.
"I know I was your best shot for reconciliation, but it is not going to work that way. Not this time. You hurt Buffy, my sister. One of the only things I have left in my life that means something to me! You cannot just come back and expect to make it better with your dumb British charm. No, nu- uh." It was awkward and silent for a second. "Aren't you going to say something!? You can't just do that!"
"Do what?" The words came out so quickly that Spike hadn't realized he had said anything.
"Stand there! Don't! Either say something or leave." She demanded.
"But-"
"I know I said not to say something but that doesn't mean you shouldn't! You've been alive for like, ever, and you still have no clue what the hell your doing!" She yelled and slammed the door in his face.
She was right. He had no clue what he was doing. He should probably just go back. And stay there. This would never work. Buffy wouldn't love him. She couldn't. Maybe before there could have been something, but now. no, she would never.
Spike started to walk away from the house, when he heard the door open and a soft voice.
"Why didn't you say anything to her?"
Spike turned around to see Tara standing in the doorway.
*****
"So Buff, big plans for tonight. Y'know seeing how it's. well. Tuesday and everything." Xander was sitting at a small round table with Willow and Buffy at the Bronze.
Buffy laughed. "Nah. I'll probably patrol a bit. You know, stake a little here, pun a little there. Just your run-of-the-mill patrol."
"Maybe you'll run into a certain head over heels in love with you bleached vampire." Willow said with enthusiasm.
Xander's eyes widen. "Oh, here's hopin!" He says sarcastically crossing his fingers.
"W-well, it's just that, y'know. He has been gone a long time." Willow said in defense.
"Good" snapped Xander
"Xander!" Willow yelled in annoyance. "Hey, guys," Buffy jumped in, " it isn't a big deal. Nothing to get all messed up about. But, things have pretty much been better without him here." Xander looks satisfied. "I never have to worry about him busting in on a patrol," Buffy continued, leaving Xander with no choice but to get up and get a soda, "It is strange, but it's all." Buffy notices a man in a black jacket with bleached hair. Still talking, she gets up and walks towards him. "better now. Uh, excuse me."
Buffy taps the man on his shoulder. He turned around and smiled at her. He looked to be about 17 with a shirt reading "Metallica" in bold silver letters.
"O-oh" Buffy seemed disappointed, "Sorry." She slowly turned her back toward the man and walked away.
"Uh, guys. I think I'm gonna book. I have to get home to Dawn." Buffy explained.
"Ok. Will and I are gonna head on out to the dance floor."
"Yeah. See you at home Buffy." Willow and Xander walked off.
Buffy sighed heavily and left the Bronze, heading for the cemetery.
*****
"To who?" he asked Tara, the concern rising in his voice. "Say something to who?"
"You know who I am talking about. You hurt her. I don't think I have ever seen her so upset before. Sp-"
"I know. I hurt her. I cannot live with that. That's why I am leavin this bloody town. I'll never be back. You won't have to here from me again, pet, I swear it. To hurt Buffy like that I. I just don't know."
"I wasn't talking about Buffy. Yes, she was hurt, but she got over that. She has been through a hell of a lot worse. She is a strong person. But Dawn she..." Her voice began to trail off.
"Dawn? Look, I didn't mean the hurt the little girl. That wasn't my purpose. I don't know what my purpose was."
"Stop it Spike! Stop trying to make things right with me. Telling me this is not going to do any good. You were one of the few people Dawn trusted. She relied on you to protect her. The things you do make a big impact on many people, not just yourself. Your actions were selfish, yes, but get over that. Make things right. Before it is too late. If you don't, you will regret it. Believe me."
Spike turned his back to the door. He stood there for a second, trying to figure it all out. He then softly heard the door shut, and walked away.
*****