*A/N: My first real angst fic. A song fic to Linkin Park's Crawling. Remus is by far one of my favorite characters, and I often wonder how he felt when transforming. I hope you like it, although it's a little unsettling. Oh yeah, I don't own anything. *
Crawling in my skin
These wounds, they will not heal
Fear is how I fall
Confusing what is real
Remus was curled up in a corner of the shrieking shack. His body convulsed. He could feel it. The beast within, clawing its way out. He tried to fight it, but he knew it was no use. His skin ripped and teared, he screamed in pain. Soon, his scream turned into a howl.
There's something inside me that pulls beneath the surface
Consuming, confusing
This lack of self control I fear is never ending
Controlling
He couldn't stop himself. He bit and clawed and teared at his own flesh, now covered in a thick fur. He began to bleed. Deep down inside, the human was crying for it all to stop. He knew it wouldn't. The full moon beamed brightly, menacingly. It seemed to taunt him. It was controlling him. Making him shred everything in sight. The beast was finally free, in control. His mind was clouded, bloodthirsty. Vicious.
I can't seem
To find myself again
My walls are closing in
(Without a sense of confidence I'm convinced that there's just too much pressure to take)
I've felt this way before
So insecure
The day after. In the hospital wing, Remus lies awake, in extreme pain. His body is cut up. He closes his eyes, trying to think of something else. But the previous night's events are all he can remember, all he can think about. The large hospital wing feels like it is shrinking, closing in on him. He gasps, not knowing what is real. He is woken up by his friends, James, Sirius, and Peter. They look at him warily, noting the gashes and dried blood. He feels they will persecute him, shun him. That's what his whole life had been...being shunned from the normal people.
Crawling in my skin
These wounds, they will not heal
Fear is how I fall
Confusing what is real
Remus, in his werewolf form, chases his three friends through the forbidden forest. All the while they are calling to him, telling him who they are. The beast doesn't care. They are flesh and blood. Only they will satisfy the need, the hunger of the werewolf. Inside its mind, a battle is raging. The man and the wolf. This time, the wolf wins. It catches up to the boys and slaughters them, without mercy. Remus wakes up in a cold sweat, quickly searching his room for his three friends. They are asleep and well. His heart is pounding. It felt so real...
Discomfort, endlessly has pulled itself upon me
Distracting, reacting
Against my will I stand beside my own reflection
It's haunting how I can't seem...
To find myself again
My walls are closing in
(Without a sense of confidence I'm convinced that there's just too much pressure to take)
I've felt this way before
So insecure
Remus watches his reflection as his transformation takes place. Once it is complete, he cannot recognize the creature in front of the broken mirror. It growls at it's reflection, baring its sharp fangs. A sound draws its attention. It turns to see three other animals in its territory. A small rat, a large stag, and a big black dog. The werewolf lunges at the stag, but is caught by the dog. They wrestle, each trying to control the other. With the help of the stag, the dog wins. The wolf cowers in a corner, seeming to realize who these animals are.
Crawling in my skin
These wounds, they will not heal
Fear is how I fall
Confusing what is real
Again, in the hospital wing. Remus is awake. He looks at his friends, unable to express how he feels. They know. For once, he is not the only one who has experienced the terrible occurance. They see his wounds, knowing how he got them. They see the fear...the fear in his gray eyes. Unsure if his friends really did what it seems they did. If they really became animagi for him. It seems impossible...and yet...
There's something inside me that pulls beneath the surface
Consuming, confusing
This lack of self control I fear is never ending
Controlling
For once, it was controllable. The animals were able to communicate with him on a more primative, basic level. He came to enjoy their company, to revel in it. He no longer craved blood, or if he did, he found other things to do. His transformations became more bearable, less painful. His previous injuries could not be healed, but he would avoid new wounds, thanks to Wormtail, Prongs, and Padfoot.
Crawling in my skin
These wounds, they will not heal
Fear is how I fall
Confusing what is real
Remus was curled up in a corner of the shrieking shack. His body convulsed. He could feel it. The beast within, clawing its way out. He tried to fight it, but he knew it was no use. His skin ripped and teared, he screamed in pain. Soon, his scream turned into a howl.
There's something inside me that pulls beneath the surface
Consuming, confusing
This lack of self control I fear is never ending
Controlling
He couldn't stop himself. He bit and clawed and teared at his own flesh, now covered in a thick fur. He began to bleed. Deep down inside, the human was crying for it all to stop. He knew it wouldn't. The full moon beamed brightly, menacingly. It seemed to taunt him. It was controlling him. Making him shred everything in sight. The beast was finally free, in control. His mind was clouded, bloodthirsty. Vicious.
I can't seem
To find myself again
My walls are closing in
(Without a sense of confidence I'm convinced that there's just too much pressure to take)
I've felt this way before
So insecure
The day after. In the hospital wing, Remus lies awake, in extreme pain. His body is cut up. He closes his eyes, trying to think of something else. But the previous night's events are all he can remember, all he can think about. The large hospital wing feels like it is shrinking, closing in on him. He gasps, not knowing what is real. He is woken up by his friends, James, Sirius, and Peter. They look at him warily, noting the gashes and dried blood. He feels they will persecute him, shun him. That's what his whole life had been...being shunned from the normal people.
Crawling in my skin
These wounds, they will not heal
Fear is how I fall
Confusing what is real
Remus, in his werewolf form, chases his three friends through the forbidden forest. All the while they are calling to him, telling him who they are. The beast doesn't care. They are flesh and blood. Only they will satisfy the need, the hunger of the werewolf. Inside its mind, a battle is raging. The man and the wolf. This time, the wolf wins. It catches up to the boys and slaughters them, without mercy. Remus wakes up in a cold sweat, quickly searching his room for his three friends. They are asleep and well. His heart is pounding. It felt so real...
Discomfort, endlessly has pulled itself upon me
Distracting, reacting
Against my will I stand beside my own reflection
It's haunting how I can't seem...
To find myself again
My walls are closing in
(Without a sense of confidence I'm convinced that there's just too much pressure to take)
I've felt this way before
So insecure
Remus watches his reflection as his transformation takes place. Once it is complete, he cannot recognize the creature in front of the broken mirror. It growls at it's reflection, baring its sharp fangs. A sound draws its attention. It turns to see three other animals in its territory. A small rat, a large stag, and a big black dog. The werewolf lunges at the stag, but is caught by the dog. They wrestle, each trying to control the other. With the help of the stag, the dog wins. The wolf cowers in a corner, seeming to realize who these animals are.
Crawling in my skin
These wounds, they will not heal
Fear is how I fall
Confusing what is real
Again, in the hospital wing. Remus is awake. He looks at his friends, unable to express how he feels. They know. For once, he is not the only one who has experienced the terrible occurance. They see his wounds, knowing how he got them. They see the fear...the fear in his gray eyes. Unsure if his friends really did what it seems they did. If they really became animagi for him. It seems impossible...and yet...
There's something inside me that pulls beneath the surface
Consuming, confusing
This lack of self control I fear is never ending
Controlling
For once, it was controllable. The animals were able to communicate with him on a more primative, basic level. He came to enjoy their company, to revel in it. He no longer craved blood, or if he did, he found other things to do. His transformations became more bearable, less painful. His previous injuries could not be healed, but he would avoid new wounds, thanks to Wormtail, Prongs, and Padfoot.