So, this is just a one-shot that needed to be written. How does the Doctor deal with losing Amy and Rory? This isn't my first fanfiction, but it's my first published under this name, and first published in many, many years. It's not going anywhere, but I think I really needed to write this. They were my favorite companions (much more than Donna and Rose), and the pain of losing them is still fresh in my mind.
Also, I don't own Doctor Who, bla bla bla BBC Steven Moffat bla.
The Doctor's Tears
The TARDIS was quiet. River walked through the control room to the sitting room that had materialized after Amy and Rory died. The colors were dark - dark mahogany panels, a dark green throw rug over dark parquet flooring, and dark brown leather upholstered furniture. A large fireplace crackled with fire (where the smoke went was a mystery), and that is where she found the Doctor, staring into the fire with a blank expression on his face.
He looked up as she entered and stood, greeting her with a small smile and open arms. River slipped her arms around the Doctor's neck and kissed him softly. "I've missed you," she whispered.
"And I've missed you," the Doctor replied, kissing her on the forehead. He held her close, protectively.
"You're awfully quiet, Sweetie. What's wrong?"
He sat back down into his chair and held his head in his hands. "I miss them."
River perched herself onto an arm of the chair and leaned in, hugging his side. "They were our family. I miss them too."
"They were your parents! Why did you let her go? Why?!" he exploded, throwing his hands up in frustration. Angry tears slipped down his cheeks and he balled his fists up, slamming them onto his knees.
River gently turned his face toward hers and brushed his tears away with her thumb, then pulled him to her chest. "Mother would never have been happy without Father. You know that."
"But she had me."
"You know it was always Rory. I watched them grow up together - she never left his side. He waited 2000 years for her to awaken, guarding the Pandorica while she slept inside. It was always Amy and Rory. She never could have lived without him." River stood and kneeled in front of the Doctor, her back to the fire, and tried to hold his hands in hers. But, he pulled his hands away and crossed his arms over his chest like a petulant child, looking anywhere except in River's understanding eyes.
"Mother loved you like she loved no other. She told me once that, while you protect the entire galaxy, no one protects you. She wanted to protect you from everything bad in the universe. In the end, she saw you as her son, and deeply cared for you."
Tears streamed down the Doctor's face. For all of his years, at that moment, he looked like a child who had lost his parents.
The Doctor had so much loss in his life. His children, grandchildren, wife, family, and friends on Gallifrey; countless companions through the years of all races (though he preferred human females); and now the two most important people to him since losing Rose, the two people that brought his wife into the world.
"I can't live without them," he said quietly, sniffing. He wiped his nose on the sleeve of his shirt.
"I know, sweetheart. It will be hard, but I'll be here for you. I lost them too." River held her arms out to him, and he collapsed on the floor next to her, sobbing into her shoulder and rocking back and forth.
Tears welled in River's eyes, and she fought to keep them from falling. I must be strong. He needs my strength. But, she missed them too. Her beloved parents left their timeline much too young, and a gaping hole in River's heart. A choking sob escaped her lips, and that was the one crack her defenses needed to fall completely.
Neither River or the Doctor knew how much time had passed, but they woke up on the floor of the sitting room where they had cried each other to sleep. The Doctor stood, pulling River up with him, and led her out of the room to his bedroom. He needed her at that moment, and she needed him. They needed to feel alive.