Disclaimer: I do NOT own Sailor Moon and its characters. I only own this fanfic and its plot.
Disclaimer: I do NOT own the song i"Friend"/i and its original lyrics. I only own the translated, modified lyrics.
-about the story-
song lyrics: ...lyrics...
genre: romance, angst
:: Raye's POV ::
Golden locks that shine like the sun, azure eyes that boast like the sky, and a melodious laugh that rings like nature's birds... these are the descriptions of my love. We met as total strangers. Two people who just couldn't seem to get along with each other; two who were each other's opposite. She would be optimistic, but I would be pessimistic. She would be carefree, but I would be cautious. She would be bright, but I would be dark. I was always the dark one of the group. It was she whom had brought light to my life. We would harmonize each other as yin and yang. Despite our overt differences, we became close; as close as best friends, but no more. That is how I thought our relationship would last, if it ever would.
Since when my feelings for her started to ample, I am not sure. I am only sure of two: that my feelings toward her became much stronger than those toward our princess, and that her feelings will never be the same as mine. Mina Aino, Sailor Venus, incarnate of Aphrodite... It is her whom I fell in love with. Though, no matter how I yearn for it, she will never fall for me.
::Third Person POV::
I want to see nothing, nothing but your face all day
I just cannot do, can't do anything else
Mina and Raye were resting under one of the peach blossoms trees in the back of the Hikawa Shrine. They were leaning on the tree; Raye was on one side, and Mina was on the other. Little did Raye know then that she would be thankful for such positions. It had been a few months since the battle with Galaxia had ended. They were bound to live as normal girls until the day Crystal Tokyo would come. 'If we were bound for eternity, I want to be bonded with the person I love the most. But,' Raye thought, 'if that someone wishes to be with someone else, I'll watch from afar.' She thought this was the perfect time to ask, but as timid as she was, she couldn't help but beat around the bush. She can't help it. She blushes and her heart goes wild by just being near Mina.
Sometimes you would see me, and then give me a smile
A smile so sweet, I wanna say, "I love you"
"Hey, Mina?"
"Yes, Reiko?"
Raye blushed at the pet name Mina used for her.
"What, what would do if a girl told you she loved you?"
"Well... why do you ask?"
"Oh, you know... Out of curiosity..."
Mina giggled. Raye's heart skipped a beat.
"Curiosity kissed the cat, you know?"
"First off, it's killed, not kissed," Raye sighed, "Second off, this cat isn't going to be that easily killed."
"Okay. Well, I think... I think I would," Mina hesitated. What if Raye judged her if she told her the truth?
Just friends is fine with me with me as long as I can stay by your side
Don't wanna lose you; you, my dearest friend
"I'd reject, I guess," she lied.
Raye felt a sudden lump in her throat. Her heart felt as if it had stopped for eternity.
'Of course, why was I anticipating anything?' Raye thought bitterly to herself. If it weren't for her years as a priestess, she would surely have let her tears fall. But she restrained herself from doing so. Not out of humiliation, but out of mere worry of what Mina would think of.
"Raye? Is everything alright?"
Raye heard Mina move towards her. To feign her hurt, she croaked out a weak laugh.
"I'm fine. It's just, I thought you were the more liberal type. I was expecting that you would be more open to homosexuality."
"Oh. I guess I am a bit conservative," Mina's voice drained down.
"I guess."
You're my best friend, but you can't be my girlfriend
Every time when I look at you, you're looking at my friend
Raye was very uncomfortable, and so was Mina. Only neither knew the other thought so, too. Raye was about to say 'good-bye,' but Mina called her first.
"Raye?"
"Yeah?" Raye nearly choked out.
"Even after we find our soul-mates and everything," Mina paused, "you know how soul-mates are usually the priority of people's lives, right?"
"I guess I do," Raye said, thinking how ironic she was when she valued Mina more than her possible future soul-mate."
"Well, promise me one thing?"
"What?"
"Promise me, that later, even after both of us meet our soul-mates, you'll like me as much?"
Raye was silent.
"As a best friend, I mean," Mina quickly added.
Raye was still silent. She was in her thoughts of what Mina had said. 'Of course, I would. Only, I wouldn't do so out of friendship, but out of...' Raye couldn't answer Mina, yet.
"Raye?" Mina moved closer to where Raye was sitting. She knew Raye's silence as a sign that showed Raye was hesitating. Possibly, Raye thought soul-mates came first?
'If only I were hers,' Mina looked into her friend's face, wanting to see what emotions laid in her eyes. Unfortunately, Raye's hair had come down like curtains, covering her amethyst eyes in effect. Mina pouted. She needed something to tell what was going on in Raye's mind but the very source to tell her was sealed. Sensing Mina pout, Raye inwardly smiled.
'Even in circumstances like now,' Raye moved to meet Mina's azure eyes with her own amethyst ones, 'I can't help but think she's cute when she pouts.' She cupped her beauty's face. Mina slightly leaned into Raye's hand; half of her wanted to fully lean into Raye's touch, while her other half told her not to or else her feelings would be revealed.
Raye smiled at Mina and said, "Of course, I would, silly."
'Even when you find your true love, I will always...'
Putting her hand on top of Raye's hand, Mina smiled and said, "So would I, Raye."
'Even when you leave me for that person, I will always...'
You're my everything
But I cannot say, "You're the one living in my heart"
The StarLights trio came back to Earth for some while. In the meantime, Yaten constantly talked and walked with Mina. Raye was Furious at such sights, of course, but could she do? All she could do was look from afar, as any good friend would.
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"Raye?"
"Yes, Mina. Did you have fun today, too?"
"Oh, yeah, we did," Mina slightly winced at the barely noticeable menace in Raye's tone, "we went to the amusement park today."
"I see."
"And Yaten, he," Mina couldn't finish her sentence. It shouldn't be hard to tell Raye, her "best friend!"
"He what? He didn't do something inappropriate, did he?" Raye felt uneasy when Mina spoke with hesitation. As much as she hated Yaten, she knew Yaten was not like most men - lustful, untrustworthy, and despicable. Hearing Mina talk in such a way, however, she couldn't help but be suspicious of him. Meanwhile, Mina mentally took note of Raye's anxious tone.
"Nah, it's nothing like that. It's just, he, sort of proposed to me."
"Pro... pose?" Raye was faltered. Marriage already? She wasn't prepared for something like this.
"Yeah, he asked me if he could be my boyfriend."
'Oh,' Raye thought, 'that kind of propose.'
"What do you think I should say?"
Whenever I see you right beside my friend,
Before I know it, my heart is breaking from the sight
"Why are you asking me such questions?" Raye knew her temper was coming, but she couldn't get angry at Mina. Not now, not ever. Because she was Mina's best friend, and best friends don't get angry with such things, do they? Raye sighed. No, she couldn't let her feelings ruin their friendship now, not after all the years she spent trying to keep her feelings concealed. "I think you know the answer to your question, Mina," Raye finally said.
"I do?"
"Just do what your heart says," Raye turned her back to Mina to walk back into the shrine, "You are the goddess of love, after all." She walked towards the shrine, anticipating what Mina would say. She wouldn't be able to accept it without an outburst, for now. "I need to do some fire reading, so... I'll see you later." Before Mina could answer, Raye had already closed the doors shut. Outside, Mina stared blankly at the closed doors.
"But Raye, my heart tells me that you're the one I need," she whispered.
Afraid my love might get caught,
I set my feelings aside and slowly withdraw from you
Mina decided to go out with Yaten, thinking this is the best alternative for her feelings, and had actually maintained their relationship for a year. Raye, despite her true feelings, blessed the happy couple. However, as human as she was, she knew she would inevitably face Mina's wedding day, her wedding in which Yaten would probably be waiting at the altar. Yes, she still had feelings for Mina, but what else she could do? Barge into the possible wedding and just steal Mina? 'Actually that is a rather nice idea,' Raye smirked to herself. Even if she would - oh she knew that she could - what would Mina say? How would Mina look at her? Sorting out her thoughts in front of the fire, Raye constantly came to the same conclusion: Stay away from Mina. Raye sighed. They say absence makes the heart grow fonder, but...
'What more is there to lose?' Raye thought.
By living far away, she can at least sort out her feelings and have more self-control over them. And so, Raye decided to leave to the Kyoto Shrine, without informing anyone else.
Just friends is fine with me with me as long as I can stay by your side
Don't wanna lose you; you, my dearest friend
Two years later, Mina and Yaten did arrange a wedding together. Having prepared a wedding herself, Serena gladly volunteered to help Mina with their arrangements. However, like a leopard that can't change its spots. Serena had once again proven that she was clumsy even in areas that she was so "sure" of. As time passed, though, the wedding started to get into shape and everything was going as planned. The only problem was: Raye didn't know. Every since Raye had moved to Kyoto, she had cut all contact with everyone, even Serena.
'You'd think she would at least let Serena contact her,' Mina sighed.
The only way they had heard of her was through the news. Apparently, her readings must have advanced, because she did deeds every other day; she was probably saving more lives than they had in their scouts' years.
Gave me 2 different tears (two two) After all these years (two two) Tears of joy, tears of pain (two two) like sunshine and rain...
Mina's ringtone rang. Since the song was enjoyable, it wasn't as irritable as the last one, but Mina was irritated nonetheless. For the past few days, Serena had constantly called her for every single thing. Even the already finished choices!
So I hate you (but the love you gave me was so so good) So I love you (but the pain you gave me was so so bad)...
Nonchalantly, Mina picked up her phone without checking who was calling.
"Serena, we just talked about the wedding flowers. I'm ordering lilies, and that's final!"
"I call you in 3 years time, and what am I hearing?"
"Huh? R-Raye?"
"Well, duh. Didn't you even check who was calling before you picked up the phone?"
"Uh..."
You're my best friend, but you can't be my girlfriend
Every time when I look at you, you're looking at my friend
"So, I heard the word. When's the date?"
"Huh? Date?"
Mina heard Raye let out a sigh of frustration on the other end. "I'm talking about the date of your own wedding, princess.
"Oh," Mina had to pause again, "What did you just call me?"
"Princess," Raye answered in a way as if it were nothing, "Why?"
"Oh, oh, nothing," Mina said, though half of her nagged her that it wasn't nothing. "Why did you call me again?"
"Uh, I just had a feeling that I should contact you."
"Wow, great timing you've got Raye, 'cause I did need to call you."
"Really? Why?"
"I was, wondering if," Mina paused. If Raye couldn't be the truly most important person in her life, then this was the best alternative, right? Mina let out a small breath and asked, "Will you be my bridesmaid?"
Raye said nothing. She had a fire reading that Mina desperately needed to talk to her, but she wasn't expecting this. It was still hard to get used to the fact that Mina and Yaten would soon marry, but to be the bridesmaid of the wedding she doesn't really approve of? Harsh.
'I thought I had full control over my feelings by now,' Raye thought, 'I guess not.'
"When's the big day?"
"You're, accepting?"
"I guess. I am your best friend, right? What are best friends for?"
'Best friends...'
"Thanks Raye, you don't how much that means to me."
'Much more than you think...'
You're my everything
But I cannot say, "You're the one living in my heart"
Today was it. Today was the wedding. Raye wondered what to wear. Of course, she would be wearing whatever bridesmaid dress Mina had in mind for her, but she should still be wearing something formal when she goes in, right? Raye was trying to decide between a tuxedo and a black dress that used to be her mother's. Both of which were clothes that she wanted to wear only on special occasions with Mina, only Mina. Not to mention, she had hoped she would be able to wear the tuxedo at her and Mina's wedding.
"I probably won't ever be wearing this one," Raye said as she chose the former, "might as well let this be the first and last occasion to ever wear it."
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Raye took a cab to go to the station. Even though it was a Saturday, Raye was able to get to the station in time. She took the train to Tokyo. She entertained herself with a book, ignoring all the people who claimed to be her fans. Once she arrived in Tokyo, she saw something she wasn't expecting: A demon.
'Shit,' Raye thought. 'I thought those things were extinct by now,' Raye rummaged through her pockets, 'oh, great.'
From now on, I'll be a good friend by your side, yeah
I'll look at you, look after you
As much as I love you
Raye didn't have her henshin pen with her. Of course, why would she ever need it when everything was peaceful – at least from monsters, that is. All she could rely on was her own powers as a priestess; she could manifest her Sailor Powers, but then she would be giving away the identity of Sailor Mars to the public.
"Yo, log-head! Over here!" She shouted.
The demon turned its head toward Raye. As if it were only a monster to kill, without a word, it bolted at Raye. Raye, who became much more skilled both as a priestess and a fighter in the last three years, easily dodged the attack. But unfortunate for her, the demon had great reflexes, too. For it had easily spun around at hit Raye in the back. Raye let out a groan of pain as she felt claws devour into her skin. She back-kicked the demon in the abdomen, causing it to back off. She took out one of her ofuda scrolls and threw it to the demon. She quickly dispelled the demon, and let out a small breath. 'Finally,' she thought. Too bad that she had thought too soon.
You're my best friend, but you can't be my girlfriend
Every time when I look at you, you're looking at my friend
"Where is she?" Mina shouted, "She's the most punctual in the group, how can she be late!"
"Calm down, Mina, Kyoto is far from here and considering today is a Saturday, it is possible that she is stuck in the middle of traffic."
"I know," Mina said, "but usually she would give a call that she might be late. But today, she is and did not give a single call!"
"Perhaps she doesn't want to come," Amara said.
"She said she would, and she never breaks her promises," Mina rebutted.
"Sure," Amara said nonchalantly, "but perhaps, she decided to follow her heart instead of her mind."
"Her, what?"
"Think about it Mina." Amara walked out of the bride's room with Michelle, who had been silent the whole time.
'Do they know about my feelings for Raye?'
"I wonder what that was all about," said Serena. "Hey, Mina, aren't you going to call Raye or"
Gave me 2 different tears (two two) After all these years (two two) Tears of joy, tears of pain (two two) like sunshine and rain...
Mina's phone suddenly rang, cutting Serena's words in the process. Being the closest, Lita picked up the phone to see who it was.
So I hate you (but the love you gave me was so so good) So I love you (but the pain you gave me was so so bad)...
Lita chuckled, "Speak of the devil, it's Raye."
Mina hurriedly seized the phone from Lita and said, "Hello? Raye?"
Instead of hearing Raye's normal 'hello's or 'sorry's in this case, Mina first heard Raye's cry of agony. Her eyes widened. Was Raye hurt?
"Raye? What's going on? Where are you? Are you...!"
"Slow down, Mina. I'm fine," Raye coughed out. "I'm just calling to say that I might be a bit late for the wedding."
"A bit late? A bit late? You're already late! Wait, are you in the middle of a battle or something? Should I postpone the wedding or"
"No."
"But,"
"No buts, Mina. Today is yours. Don't postpone something important because of me. Besides, I'll be there in a flash," Raye clumsily dodged an attack, eliciting another grunt of pain. "Call you when I get there!" She hung up.
You're my everything
But I cannot say, "You're the one living in my heart"
If she had worn the dress, she probably would have been in a worse state than she is now. But that did not change the fact she was already in a bad state. 'I should have just worn my priestess apparels,' Raye thought bitterly. She constantly dispelled the demon, but the demon kept its ground still. She bet the demon had only one vulnerable weak point and that should be her target. The only problem was that she didn't know. Her best guess was either the head or the heart. After several attempts – along with a few more injuries, Raye found out the weak point was the heart, literally. She had to pierce its chest. Now her problem was: how to pierce it while dodging the demon's sword like arms. 'If I had transformed to Sailor Mars, a Flame Sniper would have been useful,' she thought. Raye looked around her current hiding place. She saw shattered pieces of glass, one of which was sharp and big enough to be the weapon. She picked it up, receiving some cuts on her own fingers, and wrapped it up with one of her ofuda scrolls.
"It's this or never," she said out loud. Raye came out from her hiding place and charged at the demon. She pierced the chest and dispelled the demon for good. As the demon turned to dust, Raye fainted as she felt the blood from her heart spread throughout her clothes. By the civilians, Raye was brought to the nearest hospital.
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"Mina?"
Mina looked up from her cell phone to Serena who was peeking through the door. "Is it already time to go?"
Serena fidgeted. She helped as much as she could to make this wedding perfect, but after seeing how Mina reacted to Raye's absence, Serena couldn't help but feel that the wedding itself was an imperfect idea from the start. "I'm sorry I couldn't delay it any longer."
Mina gave Serena an assuring squeeze on the shoulder. "I'm grateful for all you did do." Mina led her heavy footsteps where many waited for her, where Yaten waited for her, where Raye did not wait for her. Raye didn't come to the last minute. Amy had taken Raye's place as a bridesmaid. When they stood in front of the door of the wedding hall, Amy asked quietly, "Are you sure of this Mina?"
"Of course I am, Ames."
"But, is it really what your heart wants?"
Mina didn't turn to see Amy's face. So, even Amy knew her feelings for Raye. Was she, herself, the only one denying her feelings?
Maybe...
"I don't know, Amy, I don't know..."
The doors opened.
You're my best friend, but you can't be my girlfriend
Every time when I look at you, you're looking at my friend
While the surgeons were busy trying to mend the damage of her heart, Raye could tell this was the end of her. Pity. She couldn't even live up to the beginning of Crystal Tokyo. 'I guess we can change future,' Raye thought. In her own world, she looked over her life. Her life as an ordinary priestess, her life as Sailor Mars, and her life with Mina… What would have been of her if she hadn't met Mina? She would have been "darker," as Mina would have said. She smiled weakly. Yes, Mina was the light of her life - her reason to live.
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"Do you, Yaten Kou, accept Mina Aino as your lawfully wedded wife and love her till the very end?"
"I do."
"And do you, Mina Aino, accept Yaten Kou as your lawfully wedded husband and love him till the very end?"
You're my everything
But I cannot say, "You're the one living in my heart"
"We're losing her!"
She heard the outside world become frantic, but she didn't care. All she did care at the moment was Mina. Even though Mina wasn't here, maybe she could hear her final words. Raye made a small, sad smile. She never had the courage to say these words out loud, whether or not Mina was around. 'How ironic,' Raye thought, 'to have the courage to say it at my last moment, the scariest time of all.'
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"I," Mina paused. She had chosen before the wedding, but something was bothering her instincts. After the last call with Raye, she felt as if she were betraying her. 'I guess, sometimes the best choice does come from the heart, not the mind.'
"Don't," Mina resumed.
gasps filled the wedding hall. Everyone was so busy murmuring about Mina's answer that none of them noticed two particular people smiling in the back.
"Looks like she finally made a choice from her heart."
"Yes, now only Raye needs to make the entrance."
"Only it is too late for that," a third voice said.
"Mina, but why?" Yaten asked in favor of all who were curious.
"You're the one living in my heart"
"I love you Mina... I love you..."
Her words were muted by the sound of a long beep.
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"I'm sorry, Yaten. I was already in love with," Mina paused for a breath of air, "and still love, Raye."
::Author's Notes::
This is probably the longest and saddest oneshot i've ever written. i got really depressed during my last pms period, and this story came out. a mix of a bit of personal stuff, fiction/imagination, and song lyrics. my friend called me a saddist for writing a depressing story, but eh. i like it
(+) about personal stuff
there is a girl in my class that i like, but wasnt sure of how she'd react so i beat around the bush as Rei did here in the beginning. the text conversation between me and my friend is pretty much the same as the conversation rei and mina are having
(+) about the song
the song Friend is sung by the WonderGirls, a Korean pop group of girl singers.
the original song is sung in Korean, and it is about a girl who likes her bestfriend (boy), but her best friend likes her friend. this girl chooses to like the boy from afar as long as the boy is happy with her friend.
at first i thought the song's main character should be adjusted to Mina, the bestfriend as Rei, and the friend as Usagi. but i have this prejudice that brooding suits Rei better :P
(+) more personal stuff
yes, i am a fan of the WonderGirls xD
so i used their song as an inspiration and a cameo (mina's ringtone) lol
i tell ya, they are going to huge! (more than they are now!)
p.s. there are couple pairings in the group that the fans made for fun (a.k.a. not really lovers. best friends.) and one of the pairings is called "MiSo" and abbreviation for Mimi(Sunmi) and Sohee(Sohee). if you like rei&mina, you sure gonna like them!
mimi is like mina; she's fun, a bit wacky, always smiling, and pretty much the seducing one.
sohee is like rei; she's quiet, doesn't really engage much with other people (except for the ones that she's really close with), conceals her feelings, usually the leading alpha female in the relationship. lol