A/N This is the first time I have ever written any thing...well...I've written something but it had no plot line and it was terribly written. I hope everyone likes this...I know its pretty dark now but it will get lighter and fluffier later, I promise.

I know I shouldn't be going through my fear landscape again but I have to.

It was only-what- 8 days ago that Caleb died? I should have taken his place, but I didn't. I couldn't. For the first time in forever, I was scared. I didn't want to die this time. Just then when I thought of the possibilities of how both, Caleb and I could survive, the thought of sacrifice crossed my mind. I froze and let him die for me. It was a huge regret once he went in there. I knew he wasn't going to survive the death serum, even if he was in that suit. He couldn't survive. To this day I call myself a coward when others call me a hero. Caleb's the hero. Not me.

I hear someone come into the room, right before I enter my landscape. The only way to see him.

I turn to face the unknown

It's Tobias.

I stare at him while he looks at me in disappointment.

"I know that you're going though har-"

"You don't understand."I say, too exhausted to talk about it.

"Oh. I don't? Tris, I was abandoned by my own mother, thinking she was dead. For more than half my life."

"But she's back in your life now isn't she?"

"Yes," he sighs "but that's not the point. You shouldn't be in here almost every day."

"It's the only way I get to see him." I looked at him through glassy eyes

"I know, but you're hurting yourself just to see him. You have to stop, it's not healthy please come home."

I look at the landscape room then back at my husband that has deep worry in his face. I instantly feel bad and I walk towards him. He gathers me in a hug and I start to cry.

After a while of me crying and Tobias rubbing my back and consoling me, we walk back to our apartment.

I walk straight to our bedroom and Tobias follows me.

"Do you want to talk about it…..or anything?" He says trying to sound as gentle as he can.

"No," I say slightly yawning, "I just want to sleep next you"

"Okay…" He says

I feel his heart beat slow after a few seconds.

I wonder how he can fall asleep faster than me now.

I used to fall asleep first. What happened?

After a split second later I know why.

It's the guilt inside of me.