Something I started before the Season 3 finale and Rachel's NYADA acceptance so sort of AU from 'Choke' onwards.

I've been reading Faberry for years, but this is my first attempt at writing. Please be gentle!

This is the true story of how I, Rachel Berry, came to fall in love with Quinn Fabray. Yes, the true and unexpurgated, unembellished honest-to-God truth.

Well, sort of.

You may ask yourself how this famous broadway actress, multiple Tony award winner, fledgling movie star and high profile guest on MORE than one incarnation of CSI could possibly end up with someone who isn't a similarly A-list celebrity. Indeed, you may be wondering who on Earth Quinn Fabray is anyway. Is Quinn even a girl's name? Isn't that Rachel Berry a card carrying, rainbow flag waving lesbian?

Well yes, I am, so naturally, Quinn is indeed a girl. But non-celebrity though she may be, Quinn has always been the most beautiful girl in the world in my opinion. I even told her so once in high school. OK, so it was shortly after she slapped me, but Quinn's beauty has always been without question. She's intelligent, gorgeous, kind, has a passable singing voice and a good job. Sounds like a perfect match, right?

Only the path to our true love didn't just 'not run smooth', it was a mountainous trek across an Andes-like set of obstacles before we reached our happy ending.

So how did it all start you ask?

Are you sitting comfortably? Then I'll begin...

Quinn and I went to school together. You could say we weren't exactly friends, you could say she bullied me. Anyway, we worked it out and fell in love. The End.

Happy?

What do you mean I'm a terrible story teller?

Honestly, no sense of humour, some people…

I'm not going to re-hash all the events of high school. I'm sure you can guess the gist of it when I tell you the super-stunning Quinn was cheerleading captain at William McKinley High in Lima, Ohio. Meanwhile I was a little lower on the social scale. Way lower! Sub-basement level I think I heard us called.

Quinn was the stereotypical blonde bitchy cheerleader, with a football player boyfriend and a posse of simpering sycophantic friends always around her.

I should have hated her, but somehow I didn't. Maybe it was the eyes, or possibly the thighs, but I always lived in hope of one day being friends with Quinn. I was pretty much 100% sure the feeling was not mutual, but I didn't let it get me down. If there is one thing that has been the secret to my successful career, and my eventual wooing of Ms Fabray, it is my tenacity. And my resilience. And my talent. And my amazing modesty. OK, so there are a few secrets to my success.

Anyway, to cut a long story short, Quinn's boyfriend Finn joined our Glee club. He was a nice guy, kind of sweet and my first boy crush. Quinn wasn't happy and joined up to keep an evil eye on me, along with her two equally evil sidekicks, Santana and Brittany. (Actually they aren't technically evil at all, but it seemed so at the time.)

Back to High School and the Glee club. Quinn was amazingly insecure for such a beautiful girl - something I was to discover more about over the years. I mean quite why she felt so threatened by me I don't know, but thank God for her insecurities, or we would never have got to know each other. Quinn joined up, and pretty soon was targeting me for abuse as she thought I was after Finn. Naturally, I was, but that's hardly the point.

Unfortunately, Quinn's chronic low self esteem led to a drunken hook up with male slut Puck and a teen pregnancy cliche was born, along with a baby girl named Beth. We won't go into her complicated parentage right now, but lets just say, I hope that girl has a good therapist once she hits puberty...

So far, so mundane. Yada yada, high school misfits, yada yada, hate turns to love. Well no, we did not fall in love in high school. I was boy-mad for goodness sake! Quinn was getting over the baby thing and obsessed with popularity, and while we kind of became friends, we were not bosom buddies. However, my relationship with Quinn even back then was always ..well…different. There was always something kind of intense about us. Maybe because we started out so far apart in our outlook on the world, and the way the world looked at us.

The last few months of high school were big ones for us. I almost made the mistake of my life, being swept way by teenage love. Aw how cute… NOT! I still don't understand how my dads let it go so far, but Finn and I were seconds away from an insane teen wedding. We were 18 and about to get hitched? Lunacy!

So I know you're thinking I probably came to my senses as I walked up the aisle and looked over at Quinn, just like Luce and Rachel in 'Imagine Me and You'. (Ah Lena Headey, if only all florists looked like you!)

I'm sorry to say it was nothing so romantic. It was the event that probably began the transformation of our relationship - Quinn almost got killed in a car accident.

I will never forget the absolute terror I felt when we heard the news. It was touch and go for a while, and all I could think of was how much I would miss her. It was the shove I needed to hold off on the nuptials, and should have been a huge big hint that perhaps Quinn was more important to me than I realised.

Thankfully, Quinn was ok, although she did have to spend a few months in a wheelchair. I regret to say I didn't see her that much during that time. I know she found it tough and perhaps my sympathetic smiles might not have been what she needed, knowing her fondness for a good slap, but I still regret I wasn't there for her during what must have been a terrible time. I mean, I was a wreck when I lost my voice for a few days, the thought of not being about to walk again? Poor Quinn…

The highlight of that time was our Glee club winning at Nationals - stunning solo by yours truly playing a major part of course. Our club was an odd mix, but despite our difference, the music brought us together. (Who is making those retching sounds?! )

Graduation, goodbyes, moving on. Yeah, life seems pretty scary when you're 18.

Unless you are Rachel Berry of course. Scared? ME? Of course not.

After choking in my audition for NYADA, I lucked out and got cast in a Broadway musical straight out of school. Turns out the Nationals win put my name on a few people's lists and while I was wallowing in self-pity and despair after my audition flop, a phone call out of the blue had me perking up big time.

A minor but key part on an experimental new show called Spring Awakenings, starting in the summer, hopefully hitting the boards a few months later, was I interested?

Is the Pope Catholic? Is Sue Sylvester insane? Am I interested? YES!

So as September rolled around, while Quinn was headed to Yale, Kurt to NYADA and Finn to the Actor's Studio, (which he was unexpectedly and inexplicably accepted into) I was New York bound and the bright lights of theatre workshops. (You know, like they do on Smash.)

Now if this was Shine Like a Star: The Autobiography of Rachel Berry, I'd tell you all about the trials and tribulations of starting out in the theatre, a green 18 year old from Ohio and how after years of backstabbing, struggles, avoiding the casting couch and defeating almost insurmountable odds, I emerged a huge, huge star, magnanimous in my success. However, lets be honest, you're not that interested in the Quinn-less years, are you dear reader?!

Although in the four years between hugging Quinn at our post-graduation goodbye party and meeting up again (details on that reunion later..) there are a few important, life-altering experiences you do probably need to know about.

So what happened to me and Finn? Oh yes, I know you are desperate to hear ALL the graphic details of our sex life aren't you!

No, I try not to think about it too much either.. but to be fair, Finn was a decent guy. I could have done a lot worse as first serious boyfriends go. However, once I got the offer to do this play, things changed between us.

Finn lasted all of three days at the Actors Studio (how did he manage to get in again? They must have made a mistake in their paperwork I think!) - and I have a feeling two of those were filling out the "I'm quitting" forms. Imagine a bunch of New York drama students, all desperate for success. Now imagine nice-but-dim, laid back Finn Hudson. One of these things is not like the other…

Finn, Kurt and I had been sharing this apartment for a few weeks, Kurt absolutely loving NYADA, me in total heaven but trying to restrain myself and look at least semi-cool as I mixed with experienced actors. Meanwhile poor Finn realised straight away that he'd made a mistake. To give him credit, he didn't kick any chairs or blame anyone. He just quit, and quietly looked for a job. However, after a few months of him drifting apart from me and Kurt and our theatrical obsessions, Finn sat us down and told us he was heading back to Lima. We were shocked but in our hearts not surprised. In some ways, Kurt was relieved as Finn was going to be training with Burt to take over his garage and Kurt had been worrying about his dad.

I'm ashamed to say I was a little relieved too. Oh yes, I did the devoted girlfriend, spouted the usual 'we'll always have Skype' cliche, but I think we both knew we were kind of out of steam. Finn is a small town guy and I'm an Uptown Girl!

So, that's Finn out of the way. Now how on earth did I realise I was into girls?

You know it's odd that it hadn't occurred to me before in some ways. My dads, Kurt and Blaine, Santana and Brittany, most of the cast of every play I've ever done. I've always been surrounded by gay people, but had never seriously considered whether I could ever be attracted to a girl. All that was to change when I got my next role.

After a year of workshops and development but no actual stage production, Spring Awakenings was on a break and I'd auditioned for Cosette in yet another Les Mis revival. The choreographer was this woman who was like a cross between Brittany and Sue Sylvester! Amazing grace and talent, but scary driven. Not quite as insane as either of them though.

Her name was Kat Denning, she was seven years older than me, and for some reason she took an instant liking to me. This was most unusual, as unfortunately, some people seem to often have the opposite reaction. Still I was more mature now and a little less obnoxious about what a star I was going to be! One of the first lessons I learnt was that being a diva was a right to be earned on Broadway and I wasn't there yet. I could still dream though.

Anyway, rehearsals began and I noticed Kat seemed to be quite attentive to me. She smiled at me in a much gentler way than her often sharp scowls at clumsy actors trying to be dancing French peasants. Any theatre project involves a lot of sitting around, so we got chatting. Well, Kat chatted, I was rather awestruck for the first week, but you know me, soon I was bragging about my talents and how wonderful I was.

To my surprise, Kat found it 'charming and cute.' Wow, that was a first. I was mainly just nervous and babbling, but she saw it as cute. Cool!

I think it was about 3 weeks later that I finally cottoned on that Kat was kind of into me. It might have taken longer if some of my cast mates hadn't got fed up of my obliviousness.

"For goodness sake Rachel, put her out of her misery!" said Blake one lunchtime as Kat waved at me while we headed out to grab a sandwich.

We'd been in this voice class a few months back. (Yes, I'd skipped college, but there are still plenty of classes around for aspiring actors.)

I looked confusedly at him.

"What are you talking about?"

"Kat," he replied, exasperated. "That woman has been giving you the eye for ages and you keep missing it. She's a catch Rachel."

"Blake…are you saying?" I gathered my thoughts. "Is Kat attracted to me?"

He nodded and sighed.

"But.. I'm not gay," I replied.

"Honey, who cares! This is Broadway and Kat Denning is getting a name for herself. She'd be great for your career. Plus, you have to admit, she's hot, and that is me talking Rachel darling!"

Yes, Blake was gay.

"No way! I couldn't go out with her to use her like that!" I exclaimed. "That would be so wrong."

On the other hand, I was tempted.

Blake was right, Kat had that lithe dancers build, tousled blond hair, Scandinavian colouring complete with rather gorgeous blue eyes. Not the prettiest girl I'd ever met (that title was taken!) but still very attractive. And apparently into me. Little egotist that I am, it was rather flattering, but I still was not about to tiptoe into Sapphism just yet.

No, that took another week.

Kat had asked me out and we had THE talk i.e. 'I'm sorry, I'm not gay.' 'That's ok, but come out with me anyway.' 'I don't think that is fair.' 'Are you scared Rachel?' 'Of course not, I just don't want to be unfair to you.'

Let's skip all that and just say, I *did* go out with Kat, I *didn't* want to be unfair to her, I *did* end up sleeping with her about two weeks later, and I *did* stop bull shitting myself!

I realised that I simply had not considered it before, and once I did, once I was presented with an attractive, attentive partner who happened to be female, it didn't make me freak out. I expected to be freaked out. Kurt freaked out, even my dads freaked out a little, but I was just opening myself up to new experiences, and much to my surprise, found I liked it. Quite a lot.

It was so different, and yet in some ways it wasn't so different. Beginning a relationship after being with someone else for a long time is always weird. You end up comparing how they drink their coffee or whether they hog the bed or how they kiss or which part of the newspaper they read first.

Kat was ahead of Finn in a few areas already, number one being she thought I was fabulous from the get go, whereas it took Finn a while to appreciate my specialness fully. She was trying to woo me and win me over, and I admit I was charmed and flattered by her sweet attentiveness.

I knew this wasn't 'IT' - the love affair to end all love affairs, my one true love at last, but I was young, feeling my way tentatively in the world of theatre and an attractive girl was into me. Little ol' me, Rachel Berry from Lima, Ohio. Manhands. RuPaul. Hobbit.

OK, enough false modesty, I wasn't that girl and to be honest, I hadn't been for a while. I was way cooler now Kurt had taken my wardrobe in hand and thrown away my knee socks and animal sweaters. Senior year at McKinley had been fun, with only half-hearted insults from Santana. This ugly duckling was already showing her burgeoning swan feathers, and despite everything, I had Finn to thank for my increased confidence in a way. Being loved, and having someone wanting to marry you gives you a bit of an ego boost, and my ego never needed too much encouragement to sit up and announce, 'you are FABULOUS Rachel Berry!'

I'm not the shy retiring type, I've always believed in my talent. My belief in my own wonderfulness had been stoked by Finn's attentions, however ultimately daft and unrealistic. Now someone who was someone in the theatre world was interested in me and I couldn't help but be flattered.

Our relationship was.. nice. Yes, that dreaded word. But it was nice. Not mind blowing, not amazing, but pretty good. We had a lot in common in terms of interests and physical attraction. The sex was eye opening in that it was sex with someone without a penis (obviously) but it was rather…stirring. Definitely an education.

However, while I enjoyed the few months Kat and I had, and I will always appreciate that she opened up new possibilities for me in the relationships business, I wasn't in love with her. We parted ways amicably when she headed off to Chicago for a job, and admitted before she left that we were about done.

"Look Rachel, I'm not going to be back in New York for the foreseeable future, and lets be honest, we aren't going to get any more serious are we?"

I was a little hurt that Kat had been the one to break it off but I knew what she said was true.

"You're an amazing person Kat," I said regretfully, "but no, I think you are probably right."

"Rachel, you're still so new to everything, but you're gonna do great things, I know it," she grinned at me. "One of these days, you'll be headlining, and I'll be stuck with the second chorus. Don't forget us little people."

We keep in touch from time to time and I still see her around, but I'll always remember Kat with fondness for being my first girlfriend.

Now I can hear a bit of shuffling in seats down at the back and a murmur of 'hurry up and get to Quinn' from that direction so I'm going to skip forwards.

Spring Awakening got back on track, and I was kept busy for the next few years with previews, and finally opening on Broadway. The show was a huge hit, despite being pretty controversial and I gained a best friend out of it. (Apart from Kurt of course.)

Jesse St James, newly out and proud and no longer looking to de-flower Rachel Berry, turned out to be a fantastic partner in crime. We had quite a few intense scenes and a fair bit of groping together, so I was glad we'd sorted out that failed past romance and were able to be friends. Kurt still wasn't totally convinced, but Jesse was an important part of my life.

Unlike Finn, he could match me vocally and as an actor and dancer. We complemented each other well, plus he wasn't freakishly tall! Jesse and I looked good together, but without any sort of romantic tension. It was lovely.

I had dipped my toe into dating again once or twice - and had even slipped up and dated a guy or three - which I blame on excess alcohol and a fondness for someone who could carry a tune and be my dashing (but junior) duet partner. My most recent foray into romance had been with a rather attractive blonde lady doctor who Kurt was completely besotted with. I told him it was parents who were supposed to want their children to marry doctors, not best friends.

My partners remained casual however. No I don't mean I slept around a lot, I just hadn't totally fallen for any one of them and gone down that whole 'I want to be with you non-stop' thing.

Just as Spring Awakening was winding down and I was starting to be pursued for other roles (yes, they came to ME now!) IT happened. Quinn and I met up again.

It happened in a rather non-dramatic way I'm sorry to say.

She turned up at the theatre one night to see one of the final performances, and believe it or not I spotted her from the stage! Normally as actors, you don't pick out individual faces in the theatre. I am usually focussed on my own performance, and it's a fantastic excuse to be all me, me, ME!

Anyway, this particular show, Quinn was in about row 5, and happened to be sitting beside a huge bald man who looked like Bruce Willis gone to seed. (I was relieved to discover later that she wasn't with him.)

You know when you look at someone and you are filled with emotions, feelings. Like when you see a beloved granny who reminds you of childhood stories and sitting on her knee, or a photo of The Blessed Barbra Streisand and you are transported back to your first viewing of Funny Girl? Well as my eyes moved from the human haystack over the smaller attractive blonde next to him, I was struck by that stomach twisting feeling.

On My God!

Quinn Fabray!