Title: Light Up, Light Up
Pairing: Regina/Ruby
Rating: PG-13
Length: 2900
Spoilers: Queen of Hearts
Summary: Ruby's new route takes her to the town line. So does Regina's.
Notes: For comparisons. Check my fave authors so you know who that is.
Ruby loves to run, on four feet or two – loves to sprint beyond the streets of Storybrooke and race through the forest. She's done this for as long as she can remember, certainly long before the curse was broken. She understands now why it felt so familiar and natural, but back then she attributed it to the track and field medals on her dresser from a high school she never actually went to. Apparently Ruby had been a track star. She can't find any fake report cards, but she doubts Ruby was an honor roll student. But to this day, it stands that she loves to run, full moon or not, speeding along the dirt paths until her heart hammered against her chest and her lungs ached for air.
Since the curse broke, she has found herself not running to the Toll Bridge like she used to, but to the town line. On nights like tonight, clear and quiet, she stands at the edge of the barrier. Life as Ruby had been so much easier, so much less complicated. There was no wolf to worry about, no civic duties as a leader of the community along with David, no worries about best friends disappearing to other lands. Ruby had been a waitress, friendly to everyone, especially if they were attractive. She had wanted to break free, yes, but she loved her easy life even if she sometimes resented it. On nights like tonight she thinks how easy it would be just to step forward and return as Ruby, thoughts of Red and Peter and Anita gone from her mind.
Tonight she's not alone, however. As she nears the sign she sees an unmistakable black car parked in the middle of the lane, its engine shut off. It slows her run to a jog and then to an unsteady walk as she approaches, her breath coming out in visible puffs in front of her as she does. If Regina heard her coming she makes no sign of it as she leans on the hood of her expensive automobile, face stoic and solid as she stares out at the road stretched in front of them. Ruby doesn't know why, but she approaches, hands on her hips as she desperately tries to catch her breath in order to speak.
"Regina," she finally says as she wipes the sweat from her brow. "What are you doing out here?"
"I suppose I could ask you the same thing," comes the immediate reply accompanied with a quick once over from the older woman. "But I guess I can put two and two together. Though why your route tonight took you here, I can't account for."
"I…" Ruby starts but she can't finish, her perception of her once mayor having changed so much and so rapidly in a short amount of time that she's not sure where she stands with the woman. "It's just a good distance. For a run."
It's a lie and it's clear that Regina doesn't buy it, but she simply responds, "I suppose it is," as she continues to stare beyond the barrier.
She doesn't know what to do with herself, but suddenly she feels as if leaving Regina would be like leaving a suicidal person with razor blade. So Ruby steps around the car, her gaze trained outward along with Regina's as she struggles with what to say. "What you did today was really remarkable. I didn't thank you and I should have. For saving Snow."
That seems to catch the raven-haired woman off guard, judging by the almost incredulous look she gives the younger woman, as if she weren't sure she was being mocked or truly thanked. "Yes, well… you're welcome, I suppose."
Their silence stretches on, filled with the sounds of the night and Ruby's last few panting breaths, and as the sweat cools on her skin she suddenly realizes just how cold it is. Her shorts and t-shirt do little to protect her from the cool night air when her body temperature isn't being elevated by exercise, but before she can do so much as shiver Regina is taking off her black overcoat and handing it to her. Again, Ruby is left flabbergasted with how to handle the situation, but she accepts the coat, the strong sent of lilacs and roses that came off it comforting her and reminding her of childhood spent in the wilderness.
With that, she takes the spot next to Regina, leaning against the car while keeping her eyes trained on the sign that told them they were leaving their new hometown. "You should have came." Regina looks over to her then, awaiting further explanation. "To dinner tonight. You would have been welcome."
Regina considers her for a moment then looks down. "Not with everyone, I fear. One doesn't like to be where one's not wanted."
Ruby doesn't dispute her, doesn't say that she really wouldn't have minded, because she can't speak for anyone else. So she doesn't. Just stares out into the darkness with her. "What would happen to you, you know, if you went over the line? Since you already knew about the curse before it broke?"
She thinks she's crossed a line since the silence stretches after her question, but eventually Regina replies. "I don't know." She visibly hesitates then but reaches towards Ruby, digging through the pockets of her coat to pull out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter.
"I don't think I've ever seen you smoking." Ruby's statement is almost confirmed as she watches Regina remove the plastic casing around the pack, shoving it in the pocket of her blazer before taking one out and lighting it.
"It's been a long day," is the only response given until the package is held out to her. "I've definitely seen you smoking."
It may defeat the purpose of the miles she's put behind her, but Ruby had been a social smoker. And as she stares at the 'Leaving Storybrooke' sign, she can't help but feel like it was definitely the night for a cigarette. She leans over as Regina cupped her hand around the lighter; her own gliding over the older woman's to block the wind whipping around them. The taste is familiar and immediately flashes of Ruby's past hit her, much like Red's had when the curse broke. Senses could do that, it seemed. Bring back memories that you may not even really remember.
With each drag she took, filtered memories of nights spent at The Rabbit Hole breezed through her mind. She wondered if Regina had the same sensory revelation, but she was unreadable as she breathed out the smoke, her thumb delicately flicking the end of the cigarette when the ash built up.
"What are you doing here?" Ruby asks again a little more quietly and gently than she had before. She feels she's earned some personal points while she's standing in the woman's coat.
Regina offers a shrug in return, blinking at the words and looking down at the pavement beneath them. "Were you unhappy here, Ruby?"
Everything about the question catches the young woman off-guard; the soft tone, the straightforward address, and, of course, the question itself. She takes her time considering it; enough that half of her cigarette has vanished by the time she answers. "No. I was happy. No wolf, easy job, good friends." Ruby can't help but slide her eyes back over to Regina. "Why did I get off so easy anyway?"
A smile cracks the former mayor's stoic demeanor. "Guess you could say I always had a thing for wolves."
It's not an answer, at least not one Ruby can understand. And for some reason, it enrages her. Like she really has earned some right to know Regina's inner workings because she was standing in her coat. The moment passes though. She's confused and tired and sore and suddenly the smoke is starting to make her feel queasy. "Lucky me."
To her credit, Regina gives a humorless laugh at the statement before taking one last drag of her cigarette. She studies what remains of it before flicking the slow dying ember across the barrier that held them to this town. "I'll give you a ride home."
"Kind of defeats the purpose of the run."
"Then I'll give you a ride to my house and you can run the rest of the way from there." Regina's in the car before Ruby can stomp out her cigarette. Ruby's in the car before she can second-guess herself. It's quiet, the sounds of the engine drowning out the peaceful noises of the night but it's soothing in its own way though, and the heat combined with the gentle hum as well as Ruby's sore muscles has the brunette's eyes drooping before they reached the first building in town. By the time they make it to Regina's she feels content to sleep in the passenger seat, but lifts herself out of the car when Regina does so without another word. She walks into her house and closes the door.
Ruby stands at the car, still clad in Regina's jacket. She considers folding it up and leaving it on the passenger seat and continuing on with her run. Let her steps pounding against the pavement drown out the questions bouncing around her head. But she's stepping up to the grandiose house and opening the door. All the lights are on, but there's no sight of Regina. Ruby opens the first door she sees and relives herself of the coat around her shoulders, hanging it up in the neatly organized closet. When she's done that she steps slowly into the house, feeling out of place in her track shorts and ponytail.
She doesn't know what to do with herself. She can hear Regina somewhere in the house, moving about quietly so she does the same. She's never been in Mills Manor, as she used to refer to it, so she takes this opportunity to explore while trying not to intrude. She's not sure if Regina left it as an open invitation when she silently left the car, but she is sure that if Regina didn't want her in her home, it would be clearly stated.
There's a formal living room to her right so she steps into it, brushing her fingers across the keys of the piano. She wonders if Regina knows how to play, or if Henry ever took lessons. The house is beautifully decorated, not over the top or too toned down. It's perfect. It's Regina though; she knows she shouldn't expect anything less. Ruby stops in front of shelf full of knick-knacks and books and pictures. It's the photos that catch her eye, ones of Regina and Henry throughout his life. Pictures of Henry opening presents by a Christmas tree, pictures of Henry getting ready for his first day of school, pictures of Regina holding a swaddled baby, a serene look on her face with a natural smile to match.
"What am I supposed to do?" She heard her coming. Of course she did, but she can't take her eyes off the photos in front of her. She does Regina the courtesy of meeting her gaze though, she owes her that much. "Christmas… Thanksgiving… his birthday is coming up. What am I supposed to do?"
Her voice cracks as she stares lifelessly at Ruby, looking as if her heart has been ripped from her chest and her soul drained from her eyes. "I don't know," Ruby replies honestly and suddenly there's a sinking feeling weighing down on her chest. Taking a mother's child from her… suddenly she doesn't feel like one of the good guys anymore.
"I love him. More than anything."
Each word the other woman says feels like a knife in her stomach, her pain is so palpable. "I know, Regina. I do."
Again Regina looks at her with a mixture of disbelief and contempt but the moment passes and she just looks tired. It seems she has nothing left to say, the fight has been drained from her. Ruby steps forward slowly, always cautious of how much power the woman held at her fingertips, but Regina stands motionless, eyes locked with Ruby's.
"I'm so tired. It's so quiet in the house. I can't sleep. Knowing my son is in the hands of people who hate me."
"They would never hurt Henry."
"But they would keep him from me. Never let me see him again."
That she can't argue with. She hasn't had much to do with either Regina or Henry, other than chauffeuring the kid around. But she's seen the empty look in Regina's eyes, the extra foundation underneath them. She's like a lost child, wandering the city with no one who would even look her in the eye. A lone wolf.
She takes Regina's hand and climbs the towering staircase, letting Regina lead her in the right direction with gentle tugs until she pulls her to a stop in front of an open doorway. Ruby steps through and leads the older woman to the queen sized bed in the center of the room, sitting next to her when she doesn't know what else to do.
"Do you think I'm a monster, Ruby?" It's a whispered question that comes after another long stretch of silence between them. Ruby looks over at her in the darkness, in her tailored shirt and slacks, still appearing to be held together. She wonders if Regina's ever been this open with anyone and suddenly she hopes she hasn't. She wants to be the person who picks up the pieces of someone else's life for once.
Except she doesn't know how. She doesn't have Snow's maternal, nurturing instincts. All she can do is pick up on the lingering scents of Henry in the house. Old Ruby would have known what to say, though. She had a particularly good social sense, but it seems to have dissipated in recent weeks. New Ruby knows enough though.
"No, Regina. You're not a monster." Regina takes a shaky breath and closes her eyes and Ruby edges closer until her bare arm brushes against the soft material of Regina's blouse. "I found out what… what I was right after I ate the boy I planned on running away with." Another breath from Regina, followed by chocolate eyes closing. It's not until Ruby finishes that she realizes just how much alike she and Regina are. They just landed on different ends of the field.
"You couldn't control yourself. I can." Regina turns to her in the darkness of her room, but the moonlight is bright enough to make out her features – even the scar on her top lip. She wonders how Regina got it. Instead of asking, she kisses it. Their skin is still cold from the night air, but Regina's mouth is warm as she hungrily responds, her hands coming up to grasp Ruby's jaw and shoulder.
It's a slow scramble to remove their clothes; Ruby's fingers fumble with each button on Regina's shirt while Regina tries to loosen Ruby's hair from its hold, but their kisses are slow and steady, testing the waters. It's a shared pain, a shared loss, a shared feeling of loneliness. She slides back on the bed and Regina follows overtop, as if she were desperate to keep her close.
Her sore muscles are soon forgotten, her worries and fears forgotten even sooner. Regina is soft and more tender than Ruby could ever imagine her to be. The way she holds Ruby, the way she kisses her: she's not the evil queen who hunted her best friend, just a tragically beautiful woman who knows loss as much as anyone, maybe even more so. They're both quiet, stiflingly so. An unspoken agreement to keep this secret between them, but Ruby finds it incredibly hard to keep it up as Regina's mouth sears her cool skin.
When it's over, their breaths slowly returning to them and their heartbeats calming, they lay parallel under the covers. Staring at each other, but not. Regina's eyes are on Ruby's chin and Ruby's on Regina's forehead.
"I wish we'd brought those cigarettes up," Ruby whispers, afraid of her own voice. "I could use one now."
It's an olive branch that Regina accepts with a natural amused smile, meeting Ruby's gaze. "I'll take that as a compliment."
Ruby gives her a smile in return. She can feel her body relaxing into the bed, feel a natural bond with the other woman, and feel how wrong this all should be. But she doesn't regret it. "I should get going."
Regina nods without a moment of hesitation, and Ruby knows she feels the same. It should be weird, how much has gone unspoken between them. Maybe Regina really did have an affinity with her, whether it was because of the wolf, the loss, or the comfort. But it lessens the weight that had settled on her chest earlier, leaves her feeling not awkward while she redresses when it should be. Regina's wrapped in a silk robe as she escorts Ruby down the stairs and offers her a sincere smile as she opens the door for her.
As Ruby walks down the pathway in Regina's front yard, she hears the door click behind her. She stops briefly at the sidewalk to put her hair back up and glances back, smiling as she watches the lights go out, one by one. By the time the light from Regina's bedroom disappears she's running again, the smell of lilacs and roses clinging to her shirt.