Spiritus asper (rough breathing)
- - -
"You should rest up. You have a nasty wound right there and the journey back to Fletz will take awhile. I will inform you when the Queen Fury docks." Rose, the beautiful and elegant soldier only allowed her true concern and feelings to be shown when she was around Dart. She didn't know why she had an innate attachment to the leader, but she presumed it was because of his resemblance to Zieg. Her guilt from not being able to protect him haunted her everyday. The dark visions brooding in her nightmares never faded even once; it caused insomnia to plague her every night despite her prayers to have just one peaceful sleep in the years she had been awaken to serve the good. Despite popular belief, she wasn't a cold-hearted monster that most people made her out to be. The truth would be revealed one day and she had a feeling that day would be very soon.
"Do you need me to accompany you to the resting chamber?" Had she not been so focused on Dart, she would've noticed his childhood friend peeking behind the wooden beams with a hint of jealousy in her innocent brown eyes.
Shana held her breath as she eavesdropped on their conversation. She envied the older woman's ability to reach out to the red dragoon warrior. It seemed that every time she made a mistake, Rose was there to mend the problem and win Dart's attention and trust. She pressed herself closer to the wooden beams as her heartbeat raced with each passing second. When she heard him say, "Thanks Rose, but I'll be okay. You should go check on the others…" a huge wave of relief drowned her anxiety.
She watched the dark woman nod and made her way out of the room. Before closing the door behind her, she said, "Feel better. A lot of people are counting on you."
When she was completely out of sight, Shana carefully crept away from the beams, making sure to keep silent to avoid any suspicions. She ran her palm against the door of Dart's room and stood there, thinking whether or not she should enter to see how he was doing. After all, it was her fault that he was injured. As usual, he tried to protect her and ended up paying for the consequences. The horrible image of the monster's claw digging into his flesh was still fresh in her mind. She knew very well that blow was meant for her and she hated herself for not acting quicker. If only she had been paying more attention to her surroundings and less to her comrades, Dart wouldn't have leaped in front of her, pushing her out of harm's way. His anguish cries awoke the sleeping forest as the entire team tried to help him on to the Queen Fury. All she could do was helplessly watch from the sideline.
I should go in to see how he's feeling. But…what if he hates me?
Thinking that the latter was more probable, she stepped away from the door, but her foot caught on to a loose board. Heavy creaks reverberated through the silent hall as she tried to free herself from the wooden confines.
"Is someone out there?" she heard him ask. "Shana…is that you?"
When she heard her name from the other side, she momentarily forgot about her foot. Her body became paralyzed but her mind was racing, thinking of ways to get by unnoticed.
"Shana?" he repeated again, only it was raspier this time. His voice sounded so weak. It was as if speaking her name strained him more than his injury.
Finding that she was unable to turn away, she sighed softly and conceded, "Yes, Dart. It's me…Shana."
"Well, what are you doing out there? Come…in and keep me company?"
Her eyes widened when she heard his words. As soon as her body and muscles relaxed, she felt her leg slip away from the cracks in the panels. "Y-you want me to come…in?" She didn't mean to stutter, but his invitation perplexed her beyond comprehension. Why would he even want to see me after what I did to him?
"Yes! Shana, of course I want to see you, silly…" His words were light but genuine. "Please…" he requested again.
What Shana didn't understand was why he didn't want Rose to stay but she wanted her to accompany him. She rested her hand on the knob of the door, her eyes darting around the empty hall, still deciding if she should decline his offer or not. Although her mind was screaming at her to run away, her heart was telling her to stay. Her feet wouldn't budge and her hand firmly grasped the knob…eventually turning it all the way when she gave into her emotions.
When she stepped in, she saw her childhood friend smiling weakly at her from the corner of his bed. His wounded arm was resting on his stomach, blood still trickling from the bandage that was messily clasped around his wrist. His usual vibrant blue eyes were now dull, showing signs of extreme exhaustion. The only sound that filled the room was his rough breathings. It was deep and uneven. Shana could hear him inhaling hard whenever his arm twitched. The only obvious conclusion was that the injury was still incredibly painful.
He shifted his weight over to his right to make room for the female. "Come, sit here…"
When she turned around to close the door behind her, she could feel tears welling up in her eyes. They were so close to falling, but she wouldn't let them escape. She couldn't show Dart how weak she was. Not now, not when he needed her…or so he claims. In her mind, she tried to calm herself down. If she brought her hands up to wipe away the tears, Dart would surely see.
"Is…there something wrong?"
He sounded so concerned.
"No…nothing's wrong." Quickly blinking a couple of times, she turned around and shot him a small grin. She slowly walked towards the bed, still feeling a bit hesitant, but the burning need to be next to him forced her to carry on.
Her body started to heat up when she took a seat on the soft mattress next to him. She didn't know if it was her emotions acting up, or if it was Dart's natural dragoon powers emanating from his armor. Ignoring the warmth for now, she immediately fixed her attention on his arm. All ten slender fingers gingerly held his arm from either side. She saw him flinch from the touch, but immediately calmed down when he felt a cool sensation running through his veins. Oblivious to everything else in the room, she focused her thoughts only on the magic that she was about to summon. Closing her eyes, she concentrated on connecting her mind and soul to the heart of the White Silver Dragon. An invisible gentle breeze surrounded the two as the energy from the wind became stronger. Even though a bright light crystallized from the breeze, Dart couldn't keep his eyes off of the lovely archer. Her small pink lips trembled with every word uttered and her eyes cringed with every ounce of energy extracted from her body. The way her silky long hair graced her beautiful face and her delicate features strategically imprinted to make any man melt caused his knees to feel weak. Dart was sure that if he were standing at the moment, he would've collapsed right before her. She had such a strong influence on him. He never felt…this way with anyone before.
When the white aura vanished, the bloody mess faded as well. Although a red mark was still left, Dart no longer felt any pain except for some slight soreness whenever he budged. When she opened her chocolate orbs, she found a pair of stunning sapphires glancing right back at her. For a moment, neither of them said or did anything to interrupt the silence. Finally, when she felt as if thin flames surrounded her again, she broke away from his stare. "Do you feel better now?"
"Much better…" he breathed, still amazed with her beauty and tenderness.
She tucked a few loose strands behind her ears nervously when she felt his eyes burn into her side. "I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to heal you before. It's just that…I was so scared when you saved me. Everything happened so fast! I can't believe I didn't even try to help—"
"Hey, that's enough," Dart reprimanded lightly. His words were a bit too stern but he couldn't let her blame herself for what HE wanted to do. He nearly lost her during the raid on Seles; he was not going to lose her again. Placing a single finger underneath her chin, he guided her eyes back to him. "I would do it all over again in a heartbeat."
Whenever she heard his husk deep voice, all her worries seem to weaken. His voice, words, and presence provided her a sense of security, a sense of reassurance that couldn't be compared to the result of simple cajoles from the others. "No…I don't want you to do it all in a heartbeat again because I don't want you to get hurt anymore…especially because OF me. I'm going to stay out of trouble…" She meant her words. From now on, there would be no more reckless prancing.
"Heh…that's what you've been saying as a child. Remember when you were three and I was eight? The times we spent in the woods…" A thick mass of nostalgia hung in the air, bringing back the sweet memories he had of her when they were only children. Thirteen years later, she was still the same beautiful and pure Shana that he had known before he left without a word. He was never going to make that mistake again…unless it was to protect her from harm. "We had so much fun…but I guess you weren't much of a climber because I had to carry you. Hehe…you may think you were a burden to me, but I loved it. You were like the little sister I never had…"
That word. That word again. Is that all I am to him? A baby 'sister'…?She cast her eye away from him again and lowered herself onto the bed until she was lying on her side, her back facing him. Even though his words usually made her feel happy and safe, they also had the ability to cut her further than skin deep. Her core felt as if it had just been struck with a merciless streak of hot flame, the very ember of his soul. Tears brimmed against her eyes once more, but this time she made no attempt to stop them from falling. A flow of crystallines stained her cheeks as it trailed over her lips, eventually soaking the white sheets below. She must've not heard him calling her name because he rested his healed arm on her shoulder and gently shook it.
"Shana?"
"Don't worry…your 'sister' is fine…" she whispered sadly with a slight hint of bitterness in her voice that Dart didn't fail to pick up.
"Are you just saying that because you don't want me to worry anymore? Because that's never going to happen, you know." He wrapped an arm around her waist and drew her lean form closer against him. His cold hard armor against her thin cotton shirt made her shudder, but the icy sensation immediately dispersed when she felt a thick blanket thrown over her. How is it possible that he always knew what she needed?
She didn't reply, only idly played with the tip of the blanket as her glossy eyes stared off into the far distance. The only response he received from her was a small sigh of content when he placed his chin on the crown of her head. "You know…I'm not sure how to say this but…even though I left you for a long time…I never stopped thinking about you. When I came back, I saw you mature into a young woman. You're no longer that little girl I used to know…but there's still a part of her that still lies in you. Heh…I guess what I'm trying to say is that……umm…I don't know……forget it."
Her eyes widened, not even certain if she had just heard him say those words or not. Could it be that finally, after all the years they've spent apart, he saw her as someone was who independent and commendable? She knew she would never be like Rose, the woman who commanded attention with each step she took, but she didn't want to be Rose. She wanted to be herself and she wanted Dart to accept and love her for who she was. He was never really good at speaking his feelings, but for once, Shana found a new hope, a new spark that could potentially lead to something so much more than their sibling relationship.
If Dart can't explain his feelings…I'll tell him how I feel…but not now. Right now, I just want to enjoy being in his arms…Her eyes were now dried and she found the courage to face him. "It's alright. I think I know…"
"W-what? You…do?" He hadn't meant to sound so surprise. It was just that Shana always had the ability to understand him when he didn't understand himself.
When he heard no response, he looked down and found that his healer was sleeping peacefully. She looked so tranquil, so beautiful. He wanted to plant a tiny velvet kiss on her forehead…and that's what he did.
The journey back to Fletz was going to be a long one and he didn't mind it one bit.
- - -
Rose smiled to herself as she watched the scene take place from the window of Dart's room. It was a true genuine smile because for the first time, she felt an indescribable hope for her and Zieg…even though he was long gone. Hope was going to be their best weapon against fate. She never believed for a moment that Zieg was fated to die on that day.
And I hope fate does not tear you two apart…
- - -
Author's Notes: We need more Dart/Shana fics on this site! I hope that was an enjoyable read for all you Legend of Dragoon fans out there. Thanks so much for checking out this fanfic and please drop a review or critique for me. They really mean a lot and inspire me to write more.
