Hatred and Love
I should hate him, by rights.
After what he did to me...
After what he did to our family...
After how he screwed up Maka's faith in men, I should hate him.
But, unfortunately, I don't. Not after seeing how pathetically idiotic he was trying to regain his only child's affections; I knew from the few friends I had left in Death City how he got drunk every night (much like me, unfortunately) and visited Chupacabra's less and less (is it wrong to wish that he turns out bitter and alone, like I seem to have become?). It seems we both are having issues with withdrawal from each other...
...Even five years into the divorce...
We crave each other, and I hope he's suffering the hell I've gone through. He has no idea how many bottles of how many kinds of liquor I've gone through, men I've seduced, all in the name of forgetting him... Forgetting the one man I thought would be my partner for life, even after he became a Death Scythe. Forgetting my Spirit, my soul.
He acts so stupid... Even if I knew he did it in the name of getting his only daughter to love him again.
At least, Maka was the only kid I knew of. Knowing how that bastard sleeps around, Maka could well have a half-sister or brother around... I hate to think about that idea, but it's a possibility.
Spirit Albarn.
Kamia Albarn nee Graves. I once wore that idiot's last name, you know. I married him mostly because I had ended up pregnant at the WORST time and my parents had issues with babies out-of-wedlock. And I may have been high on pregnancy hormones when he proposed.
...I thought he was my partner. My loyal partner...
Turns out, I was wrong. I'd leave him for five minutes and he was flirting with some whore that he used to visit when I came back from getting something for us.
"Used to". Pah. What a load of garbage. He probably visited them even when we were just dating.
Is it stupid of me to think that he might not have? That part of this, at least, is my fault?
And I know this is stupid... Stupid of me beyond belief. Stupid almost to Spirit's level.
...
Am I crazy to still love him?
This is my headcanon for how Kami feels about Spirit. Bash if you want to, I'm a sucker for "lost cause" relationships. Plus, this relates to my own life in a very personal way.
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-June